One. What is so pathological about needing to be tethered? See page 171 in which we see the compulsion to see contact updates (being tethered or connected to smartphone) is so strong many sacrifice driving and walking safety, resulting in bruises, chipped teeth, even death.
In addition, people want to be interrupted. They are waiting for it.
There is no downtime.
Everything is rapid response without reflection.
Emoticons simplify who we are and strip us of nuance and complexity.
We lose the boundary between public and private life, sharing smartphone photos around the room.
The adolescent is denied alone time, a necessary rite of passage for independence.
We have new emotional expectations. I know a young man who is mad at Facebook because his Facebook friends were either not commenting at all or enough at his posts.
We develop an unbalanced need for the validation of others rather than from our inner strength. See page 176
Being tethered makes us narcissistic as we read on page 177: “. . . one speaks about narcissism not to indicate people who love themselves, but a personality so fragile that it needs constant support. It cannot tolerate the complex demands of other people but tries to relate to them by distorting who they are and splitting off what it needs, what it can use. So, the narcissistic self gets on with others by dealing only with their made-to-measure representations.”
The technology encourages the above description.
More and more young people are only “speaking” online at the exclusion of everything else.
We see on page 179 that when the self is compartmentalized or fragmented in so many online spaces, it does not mature but stays juvenile, immature, narcissistic.
We’re open to Facebook annihilation. One of my friends broke up with his girlfriend of 5 years. They shared dozens, perhaps hundreds of Facebook friends. He decided it was too awkward to keep his Facebook account and engaged in “Facebook annihilation,” deleting his account to avoid the awkwardness. This kind of thing didn’t happen a hundred years ago.
Minute preferences—for books and movies to name a couple of examples—become blown out of proportion in terms of one’s profile. Do the others approve of these preferences? Too much is at stake for these minute choices.
People are “always on” for their Facebook friends, so their life becomes a never-ending avatar performance.
This “Second Life” on Facebook takes over their real life. See page 193.
Two. What Are the Causes of Phone Fatigue?
People feel more protected “on the screen,” that is to say texting or IMing.
People feel more in control of their image communicating “on the screen.”
People are too tired for phone conversation after all their multitasking.
Calling others might be looked at as “too demanding” and needy.
Calling might be perceived as urgent, pumped up to a level that is not true.
Calling violates the rules of efficiency.
Calling has “insufficient boundaries,” that is the call could get messy, complicated, dramatic, time-consuming, in short an unappealing prospect.
Calling others requires full attention and we’ve become accustomed to having only partial attention.
Examining Facebook Addiction
The 10 Signs That Facebook Has Become a Self-Destructive Chimera and You Should Probably Delete Your Facebook Account
1. You start “sharing” increasing gradations of meaningless trivia with your “friends” like what kind of dog food you purchased, what kind of nail polish you’re using before vacationing in Maui, how taking Omega-3 fish oil capsules makes you burp, etc.
2. You’re spending 18 hours a day “managing” your friends’ comments ("No one has commented on my juicy entry that was posted almost 30 minutes ago. Damn them all!") and losing more perspective on what’s important in your life like getting out of the house, making real friends, and embarking on something truly creative.
3. You become paranoid as to why a “friend” deleted you from his or her friends list and start losing sleep over why more and more Facebook people are deleting you from their existence.
4. You become jealous and resentful when you see a “friend” commenting on someone’s “boring” post but that same person ignored your more “interesting” post.
5. You start competing with your other Facebook “friends” for amassing more and more friends and comments.
6. You fret when none of your Facebook friends wish you Happy Birthday.
7. You obsess over the fact that one of your lifelong friends is engaging in more Facebook activity with a new Facebook acquaintance who has demoted your friendship ranking.
8. You lose Facebook friends because you don’t reciprocate their offers to play Bubble Shooter, Pokemon Tower Defense, Trollface Launch, Whack Your Boss, and other games that require too much time for anyone who is gainfully employed.
9. You become a Facebook snob, rejecting friend invitations from people who have fewer than 300 Facebook friends.
10. You become a Facebook elitist only accepting friend invitations from people who have a bare minimum of a Masters Degree, share your political beliefs, and have published or produced a work of art that was reviewed by a major publication.