Save Your Manhood Tip #52: It's a Privilege to Take Your Wife's Dog for Walks

Dear Mr. Man Points,

Taking my wife’s toy poodle for poo-poo walks is really getting me down. To add to the insult, as I scoop up the doo-doo, the poodle looks on with a familiar hauteur and I realize the poodle’s features and my wife’s are becoming more and more similar so that I fear the poodle has become another Wife Boss giving me orders. This can’t be helping me in the Man Points department.

Cheer up, you whining sad sack. Truth be told, cleaning up the poodle’s dog crap is the best thing that ever happened to you. No doubt your clean-up duty is the penance you now must pay for being a two-faced predatory playboy during your bachelor days. All that scheming and lying with the ladies has caught up with you. Now you have the task of dog-doo duty with your wife’s supercilious poodle. Look at this task as a privilege and as an opportunity to learn humility. Embracing your purgatory with good cheer will earn you Man Points. So wipe off your pissy expression and pick up your dog crap like a man.