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May 27, 2008



I view this sort of neediness as a kind of slow-motion self destruction. It starts with the needy person not seeing themselves as a person at all, which is a sort of pre-suicide. They can only validate their existence through their direct or indirect demands on others. I find it repellant, but worse, I find it intolerable because it demands that my genuine gifts of care, love, and resources be converted into a strand in the needy person's noose. I think there must be some element of broken infancy to it: an infant learns to cry out its needs, and either someone responds...or doesn't. But an adult who makes a pattern of this behavior is at some level refusing their own humanity, never mind adulthood. They are also very selfish, because they do not think of what they owe others. So at another level, the neediness is a form of control over others. The needy people I know seem to live in a constant state of major relationship, health, and life crisis. You can't go to THEM with your run of the mill human issues, and expect support, because they're too busy dealing with mega problems and bigger issues than lowly you will ever know.

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