At first glance, the jealous boyfriend appears to have an obsessive preoccupation with fidelity—but sadly he’s not interested in his own fidelity or faithfulness but rather, asserting a double standard, his interest is only in his girlfriend’s. In fact, contrary to the idea that jealousy is the byproduct of someone who values faithfulness, jealousy is born from one’s own proclivity to be a cheater. Taking a page from the psychology lexicon, we can call this type of behavior projection—assuming other people act and think the way we do. Thus the jealous boyfriend says to himself, “Since I’m a dog who will cheat on my girlfriend at the drop of a hat, she must be the same. I must therefore keep her under lock and key.”
That the jealous boyfriend lacks the honesty and courage to see the moral bankruptcy and hypocrisy of his jealousy attests to his arrested development. He is not mature enough for a relationship and in worse cases he is dangerous because his obsession with control too often results in some form of mental or physical abuse. Therefore, if your boyfriend is jealous, do not see his jealousy as romantic or symptomatic of his strong passion. Rather, see his jealousy as a warning flag and consider leaving him sooner than later.