Unfortunately, my insomnia necessitates another consideration. Let’s call it The Twenty-Minute-Window Rule. What this means is that after my cereal, my reading, and the assimilation of my sublingual melatonin lozenge, I am sleepy for roughly twenty minutes. This is the only opportunity I have to get to sleep. If for any reason I am agitated and do not fall asleep during this Twenty-Minute Window, I am, once again, screwed. Therefore, it is imperative that my wife leave me alone during the Twenty-Minute Window.
Now many readers will look at the first four rules and say really they are all the same and can be boiled down to one rule, which is that I need quiet. Why, then, have I broken them down into four separate rules? The answer is simple. Clarity. It is my duty as my wife’s husband to provide clarity to my rules. Secondly, I must provide justification. If I arbitrarily dish out a bunch of rules with no rationale than I am no better than a tyrant or a despot and for me to become such a god-awful thing, dear readers, is the least of my wishes.