If I Could Only Replace My David Lynch Dreams with My Peter Max Ones

 

One of the most salient conditions of my existence is the way night and day affect my dreams, making their characteristics completely opposite of one another.

The night dreams are hell on earth. Since I was a small child I have been afflicted with chronic nightmares (in late adolescence they somehow got even worse) in which I’m plunged into a loveless world where I feel helpless, terrified, alienated and alone. These dreams compel me to ponder those theologians who say that hell is the separation from God. Clearly, there is no God, or love, in these nightmares. As I grow older, these dark dreams of estrangement remind me of some of David Lynch’s most disturbing scenes from Eraserhead and Mulholland Dr.

Then there’s the day. I take naps every afternoon. While I don’t completely fall asleep, I do descend into a half-sleep state of high alpha brain activity in which I drift along in the most pleasant sensations. While I’ve never been under the influence of psychotropic drugs, I do experience glorious nap-state dreams that render all the characteristics from a Carlos Castaneda novel or the art work from Peter Max’s rendering of Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. Reality becomes heightened in ways I never thought imaginable, I see beauty that I never see when I’m awake, and there is a sense of unlimited possibilities. And unlike my nightmares, there is love; I feel very close to the divine.

I’d like to know why I have these diametrically opposed dreams. Could it be a matter of daylight sleep filling my brain with more serotonin? Or is there some more mysterious explanation?

Whatever the case, if I could just replace my night dreams with my day ones, I wouldn’t dread sleeping at night.  

 

Comments

[Ed s.]

Interesting. Just a hunch: the pinneal gland. With daylight it produces melatonin, the sleep regulating hormone. You may need more exposure to natural light....or sleep at night with a nightlight. Otherwise, I know what you mean about how good half-sleep naps are, I also take one every day. The siesta, it exists for a reason.

[Jeffrey McMahon]

Could very well be hormones. Those day napes I feel so relaxed. At night, a very tense situation. I rely on the radio to keep me company.

[Ed S.]

Yeah, I sleep listening to talk radio on earbuds. Depending on what's being talked about, it can influence the content of my dreams and affect my mood. But without the radio, my thoughts would keep me awake.

[Mike W]

Revel in those dark nocturnal dreams, Jeff.

Those monsters from the ID are YOU, and however successfully repressed they may seem in that west coast Disneyesque simulacrum of yours, out they must. They are the life force, the truth not told in the clear light of day, the awareness of mortality so easily ignored while distracted, the source of creativity and change and intuitive flashes. Embrace them and be grateful for them.

For some years now mine are always in sepia (my subconscious is apparently big on cliche), in gritty urban settings, underground a lot, in subways and old skyscaper concourses, sometime with me able to see my departed mother, but never speak to her.

Peter Max was a bit of a hack.

Lynch is an artist. That's why he hurts a little.

[Harry]

UNESCO proclaimed today World Radio Day. http://www.unesco.org/new/en/communication-and-information/events/prizes-and-celebrations/celebrations/world-radio-day/

[kr]

Man, Mike W. killed it! Awesome post!

Jeff, what's worse than nightmares is only being able to sleep 4 hours and then your age-shrunken bladder wakes you up, and you can't go back to sleep after you get up and use the bathroom... That is the waking nightmare of no rest...

[Shaun]

Have you tried reading in bed - especially novels - before you fall asleep or to help you fall asleep? It helps clear my mind and generally leads to more restful sleep. Still have dreams, but not always bad. I rarely have terrible dreams, but I often have dreams of doing tedious tasks, such as trying to get a jamming photocopier to work. I guess my mind is working out some frustration in one sense or another. I used to fall asleep to Art Bell or George Noory and the like but the talk of aliens and ghosts kept me up. (I did like when Noory would talk about real science though.)