Have you ever been to a couple’s house with your wife, got an upset stomach from nerves or the gnawing sense that the meat they served you was undercooked or contaminated or both, had to suffer the great shame and anxiety of rushing to their bathroom several times, depleted their entire stock of Costco toilet paper, later learned you clogged their toilet, found out they had to call a plumber at some late-night hour on a Sunday and that this plumber charged them double the normal cost for snaking their pipes and they could barely pay the plumber and they and they ended up being two months late on their car and mortgage payments so that their credit rating plummeted and they weren’t able to get a low interest rate on a second car they had planned on buying? And then to put the icing on the cake, this couple—who used to be good friends with your wife and you—blamed you for all their financial troubles and they no longer want to be your friend?
Happens to me all the time. My friends list is dwindling. At this rate, losing about a friend a month, next October I’ll be completely friendless.
Three years without friends, my guess is that learned helplessness will sink in at which point I will become “unfriendable.”
Desperate to ward off this curse, I recently called the couple whose plumbing I had single-handedly ruined and begged for their forgiveness, even offering to co-sign on their car loan (I have an excellent FICO score) so they could get a cheaper rate, but they didn't return my call. After my initial offer with no response, I sent them $100 gift cards for Target, iTunes, Amazon, and Home Depot, but even after all that they still haven’t called me.
Unfriendable. I had better get used to the sound of it.
Sorry to hear that but try send them a check for the plumber cost, it was your fault, give them a nice present, then offer to co-sign the car loan and perhaps they see you as a responsible and repectable man, and NEVER use anyone´s bath but yours.
Posted by: Huesby | February 24, 2012 at 08:43 PM
A friend of mine (years back----late 80s) had a scenario that this reminds me of---sort of. Not sure how man points plays into this one: Dating a new girl, liked eachother. Back to her place----he tried to pass gas but had an "accident" (don't ask, because I don't know what they had for dinner). He uses her bathroom, which was in a hallway right off the TV room where they were. Underpants are ruined----he isn't sure what to do---tries washing them out and realizes even if he could clean them/deodorize them, they'll still be wet. Quick thinking----flushes them down the toilet, but they clog and the toilet overflows. At this point, after calling it to see if he's okay----and no answer from him, she opens the door (lock is broken) and sees him standing there, in a small puddle of water, holding his underwear. You'd have to know this guy to appreciate the ending----he just panicked, told her it was really nice knowing her and he was sorry it didn't work out and he left. The question is, what should he have done differenty?
Posted by: Angelo | February 25, 2012 at 04:51 PM
One of the strongest arguments I have heard yet in favor of vegetarianism. www.vrg.org
Posted by: Keith | February 26, 2012 at 12:36 AM
McMahon my man don't think like that. I'm proud to be your friend i know I'm only 20 years old but i have no shame in saying i look up to you and hope to be like you one day. you're an awesome person ill always be your friend. -Pedro Benitez
Posted by: Pedro Benitez | March 04, 2012 at 12:40 PM
Thanks, Pedro. You're the man.
Posted by: Jeffrey McMahon | March 04, 2012 at 01:11 PM