Today I filled out some loan documents and then called nearby Staples to see if they had a FedEx box. The person on the phone said indeed they did.
When I got there, the person behind the counter said they did NOT have a FedEx box and looked at me like I was stupid for asking.
I drove to the nearby health store, thinking I had seen a FedEx box in front of it. But I was wrong. There was only a UPS box. However, right next to the health food store was a FedEx truck. No driver was inside the passenger area and the rear door was closed, but putting my ear against the truck's sidewall I heard movement inside. I pounded on the truck and shouted "Anyone in there!" several times while pedestrians looked at me like I was crazy. My attempts were futile and I ended up looking like a crackpot.
My God, I am a crackpot. This should be obvious and not require funny looks from strangers. My poor daughters. I hope they turn out okay.
You've got about eight or nine years before they realize what a sham you are. With my seven year old I've got maybe five, so am trying to enjoy it while it lasts.
Posted by: jonnybardo | January 21, 2013 at 03:57 PM
so I should enjoy their adoring me while it lasts. Good point. What a fool I'd be if I thought they would adore me forever. My wife says that's a good thing. Kids grow up and become more critical. We want them to be skeptics and see through their father's charade.
Posted by: herculodge | January 21, 2013 at 04:31 PM
My family went out of town for the weekend and I was a bit turned around at one point, pulling into a drive and then backing out again, etc. My seven year old said, "Daddy, what's wrong with you?" It was almost as if it was the first time she saw me as a fallible being in terms of my ability to get things done. Little does she know.
Posted by: jonnybardo | January 21, 2013 at 04:51 PM
As Erich Fromm writes, a child must outgrow delusions of parental omnipotence.
Posted by: herculodge | January 21, 2013 at 05:22 PM
It is amazing how long it took me to grow out of my own delusions of omnipotence. It must take forever for a kid to do it!
Posted by: Bill Bush | January 21, 2013 at 06:46 PM
Insanity is hereditary.
You get it from your kids.
Posted by: Michael Brent | January 22, 2013 at 12:24 AM