I once knew a European soccer coach employed by an American university who had a very beautiful girlfriend. To protect this coach’s identity, we’ll call him Vitaly. One day, Vitaly told me, his girlfriend walked in while he was in bed with another woman. He explained that he repeatedly lied through his teeth to his girlfriend that what she saw “wasn’t what she thought it was.” For several months, Vitaly said things were tense with his girlfriend sometimes exploding into rages, throwing pots and pans at him, and clawing his eyes out. But a year of repeated denials paid off. With the seeds of doubt planted deeply into his girlfriend’s psyche, Vitaly said that one day she got down on her knees and begged him to forgive her for questioning his fidelity.
Much to my shock and abject horror, Vitaly then said to me, “I still haven’t forgiven her.”