I have two plumbers, Mike Who's Always Busy and Guzman (not Guzman's real name). Because Mike was too busy to come over and replace our toilets and unclog pipes from my daughter Natalie's propensity for throwing toys in the toilet (including a Homer Simpson figurine), I went with Guzman.
Guzman bought me two toilets, both Glacier Bay Dual Flush with 9.5 flush rating. But the second one was the cheaper version. Guzman charged me $158 for both but the latter was $99. He lost the receipt, so he said last night and it was dark so he may have picked up the wrong one. I had Guzman tear up the check I wrote him and I wrote him another reflecting the lesser price, but this morning Guzman insisted on putting in the $158 in the master bedroom. He feels guilty, so he's doing it. Guzman claimed he found Jesus and quit drinking many years ago, but whenever he leaves the house smells of sweat and alcohol.
When I went on the Home Depot website and showed him the toilet he charged me $158 for was really $99, I can say Guzman officially found Jesus when he tore up the check.
I feel sorry for Guzman for many reasons. Alcohol has affected his brain. Walking out the front door last night, he tripped and was completely airborn and nearly broke his neck while my girls were sleeping in a nearby room. The poor guy recovered his balance and looked in all directions, apparently disoriented. I thought I was going to have to call 9-1-1 for an ambulance. But he's okay.
This morning I called Mike Who's Always Busy and told him about my Guzman misadventures. I also asked about Glacier Bay.
"I'm not a big fan of that brand," he said. "I always go with Kohler. But whatever you get, make sure of these two things: Get a two point five inch peatrap and make sure the trap is glazed."
So there you go. I'm hoping I won't have to put in two Kohler toilets for another 10 years or so.
I was anxious about a week ago when an eBay buyer said he hadn't received his watch in spite of UPS tracking which said he received it last month. Turns out he lives outside USA and uses a shipping company of some sort to send him his items received at his US address. He emailed me today to let me know he received the watch. What a relief. When I sold the watch, I didn't know he lived outside USA because of Paypal US address.
Three days ago an eBay buyer told me he never received his watch at his Miami address. After several stressful exchanges, I discovered he doesn't even live in Miami, that in fact he lives outside US and that his Miami address is just for receiving mail. He relies on a service to get his mail outside the country. My tracking shows his Miami address received the package. I think this is his problem and the problem of the "service."
In one of the most bizarre selling points I've ever heard, Dan Patrick said when he was a kid his mom hit his brother with a frying pan. This was "tough love," Patrick said. "And now we give back to Mom by getting her Pro Flowers."
Is this a selling point Pro Flowers wanted? Seems like a strange story, one Pro Flowers may not want.
Have you ever seen a giant cockroach in your room, threw a dictionary at it and instead of killing it, you merely maimed it, crippling a couple of hind legs, which no longer operational, drag as the cockroach limps away from you?
Well, after my daughter Natalie, kept me up last night for 3 hours, I feel like that maimed cockroach and I apologize if today's lecture appears lackluster, perfunctory, and soulless, but I've got nothing. Any complaints can be directed to my Dean of English at . . .
Because they're good and offer honest, reasonable rates, they're always busy. When I need a plumber, I need one NOW. Like yesterday, we had a clog requiring a snake from the roof because presumably my daughter has been "hiding" toys in the toilet.
My favorite plumber, Mike, who is always busy, told me he has first-hand knowledge that the big plumbing chains give commisions and their employees "find" huge, expensive jobs, costing well over $1,500 for what should be a job worth about $200.