Part One. 1C Thesis Fill-Ins for Essay 1.
Brian Gold (“The Chain”) and Miller (“The Other Miller) are two sad sacks who use spite (revenge) as a smokescreen for their learned helplessness. As the two stories illustrate, learned helplessness can be characterized by ____________________, ______________________, _____________________________, and __________________________.
Brian Gold (“The Chain”) and Miller (“The Other Miller”) are two emotionally-arrested souls whose maturity is impeded by co-dependency. As the two stories illustrate, co-dependency can be characterized by ____________________, ______________________, _____________________________, and __________________________.
Part Two. The Condition of Learned Helplessness—The 13 Traits
1. A lack of belonging and feeling marginalized to the point of feeling like a “misfit.”
2. A habit of repeated failure that reinforces your feelings of impotence.
3. A defeatist, pessimistic attitude that creates a self-fulfilling prophecy.
4. A fear of maturing and defining yourself without the dependence on others. (Brian depends on Tom to define his masculinity; and Miller depends on his mother for his sense of safety)
5. An unconscious determination to fail because you’re afraid of success, which will force you to grow up and assume adult responsibilities.
6. A determination to see yourself as a victim who has no control of what happens to you.
7. A fearfulness of life that compels you to hide in the psychological womb of self-pity.
8. Stupid enough to be weak but smart enough to manipulate others to bail you out every time.
9. Being helpless is the laziness drug.
10. Even when you know the right steps and can do something on your own, you wear out people so that they carry your weight up the mountain. They decide it’s easy to carry you on their shoulders than it is to help you because you resist being helped.
11. You procrastinate long enough so that you always need an excuse or an extension, reinforcing your self-image as a flake, a slouch, and lazy bum.
12. You create drama and crises out of nothing and enjoy watching other people put your fires out.
13. You create co-dependent relationships with others.
Signs of Co-Dependency
1. The co-dependent sacrifices self-interest to impress the enabler.
2. The co-dependent lacks self-esteem and looks for way to “prove” himself. These performances are invariably self-destructive.
3. Co-dependents often play the role of martyrs to sustain their dysfunctional relationship.
4. Co-dependents derive “reward satisfaction” from feeling needed.
5. Co-dependents confuse love with pity.
6. Co-dependents will do anything to cling to an unhealthy relationship because they fear abandonment.
7. Co-dependents see themselves as victims deserving of your pity.
8. Co-dependents are incapable of intimacy.
9. Co-dependents enjoy being the sidekick.
10. Co-dependents have trouble saying no when the enabler makes an inappropriate demand.
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