Part I. Study Questions
One. How have men “historically solidified their economic
connections to other men”? Is this true today? See 60 and 61.
Two. Is the wedding reception a fair comparison to a
dowry? Explain. 61
Three. Is Catherine Newman’s interpretation of the
candle on page 61 fair to her argument? Could you call it a “faulty
comparison”? Explain.
Four. For Newman, how would getting married be a
betrayal against her gay friends? See page 61.
Five. What are Newman’s beliefs about monogamy and
how they do they affect her attitude toward marriage? See pages 62 and 63.
Six. What kind of insecurities does Newman disclose
on page 63?
Seven. Does Newman’s definition of the “best life
partner” help her argument? Explain. See bottom of page 63 and top of 64.
Eight. How does not being married make Newman feel
more wanted? See page 64.
Nine. Is having a child a substitute for being
married? Explain. See page 64.
Part II. Alleged Fallacies in Newman’s Essay
One. On pages 60 and 61, Newman equates modern
marriage with marriages of hundreds and thousands of years ago, lumping all
marriages, today’s and yesterday’s, as part of a “patriarchy” in which women
are “trafficked” like property. This is an over simplification of marriage.
Two. Fallacy of hasty generalization based on a
single anecdote on page 61 in which Newman wants us to believe that the
symbolism of a Catholic wedding represents enslavement to the husband.
Three. Purposely misinterpreting the candle symbolism
of the Catholic wedding described on page 61 in which Newman writes that the
single candle represents the bride’s “old naughty self.” This is Newman’s
language and false interpretation, which in critical thinking is called a
“straw man.”
Four. Faulty logic: If some people use marriage as a
bully club against the gay community, as Newman purports on page 61, then ALL people
who marry are against gays.
Five. Fallacy of irrelevance or red herring: Newman
confesses to having a previous relationship with a woman on page 61. What is
the relevance? Perhaps that if she wants to go back to relating to women, it
would not be fair if she married a man.
Six. Let’s concede that Newman’s next point on page
62. Specifically, she is saying that she and her boyfriend are not monogamous;
nor do they believe in monogamy. I think we can all agree that people who
reject monogamy should not get married.
Seven. For Newman, it appears that in marriage the
commitment is too strong. In other words, it is so strong that it becomes a
form of mutual possession. She feels threatened by that sense of possession
whether or not being enslaved or possessed by one’s spouse is true or not. Such
a condition is more psychological than anything. Legally, one is not
“possessed,” not in modern times. It appears that Newman is paranoid and
irrational in her definition of marriage, so of course she objects to it.
Eight. She and her boyfriend don’t need marriage
because they are tied together by a child. Actually, lots of deadbeat dads bail
on the mother and child, so Newman is a bit naïve to place so much faith in the
child as a permanent bonding agent.
Part III. Writing Options:
Defend or refute one of the following
thesis statements regarding Newman’s essay
Thesis One
Newman’s position to not marry is a self-justifying hack job wrought with paranoia, over simplifications, Straw Man arguments, faulty comparisons, red herrings, and other lapses of logic so egregious that she comes off as someone trying, feebly, to gloss over her irrational fear of marriage with pseudo intellectual arguments.
Thesis Two
While Newman’s argument contains some of the logical
errors mentioned above, she makes some legitimate criticisms against marriage,
most importantly the myth of monogamy. If we’re honest and look at the research
on marriage and monogamy, we must conclude that marriage is a very precarious institution
since the monogamy it rests upon is compromised by ____________________,
________________________, ____________________________, and
__________________________________.
Thesis Three
Newman should be commended for her brutally honest assessment of herself and the institution of marriage. Her position to not marry is well supported when we consider that ________________________, _________________________, __________________________, and ___________________________.
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