One.
Reading Questions
1. What kind of metaphorical meaning do we get from the
story’s title? An elephant bears heavy burdens, it suffers, and it never
forgets. This speaks perhaps to the narrator’s martyr complex.
2. What is the narrator’s dependence or addiction? He’s
dependent on people being dependent on him. He even lets his brother “play”
him, like “play him for a fool.”
3. What pattern of the narrator’s pathological behavior
becomes evident on page 476? He’s giving money to everyone. Brother, mother,
ex-wife, ex-wife’s lovers, daughter, daughter’s bum who fathered his daughter’s
children, his son, etc. Everyone is on the “payroll.” He needs to feel wanted.
His self-esteem must be in the toilet.
4. How much threat is there when he says he’s going away
to Australia? None because everyone knows he’s a junkie giver, an enabler.
5. What is dangerous about enablers such as the narrator?
They reinforce the sloth, laziness, and helplessness of others. They do in name
of duty and sacrifice when in fact they are needy people.
6. Why can’t an enabler like the narrator “just say no”
and establish boundaries with people? Because he knows the truth: If he cuts
off the money, he will be lonely and he cannot stand loneliness. The story
shows the depths of suffering loneliness causes and the lengths people will go
to in order to stave off loneliness.
7. In addition to giving or “loaning” people money, what
other kinds of enabling behavior do we see? Teachers who let students walk all
over them. People who let their boyfriends, girlfriends, or spouses repeatedly
cheat on them. People who do their friends’ homework for them. People who put
up with any kind of abuse but don’t establish boundaries because they are
afraid of being alone.
8. How does being a martyr feed the narrator’s ego? He
feels wanted. He feels needed. He feels like he makes a Herculean sacrifice for
the sake of others. This in turn makes him feel morally superior. But he fails
to see the truth: That he is being used.
9. What is the bitter and ironic truth about enabling
others? The people we enable do not appreciate our generosity. They hate and
resent us because in part they know they will never repay us and our sick
symbiotic relationship with them is forever a reminder of this gut-wrenching
fact.
10. What are the qualities of symbiosis?
1. No boundaries.
2. Mutual helplessness.
3. Mutual addiction.
4. Mutual denial. "I'm not dependent on so and so."
5. One is sometimes the "dominant" and the other is the "sidekick" but in reality these roles can change. The "sidekick" can actually be the one in control.
6. The two dig in their heels and say, "It's us against the world." They see themselves as a fortress against a world of hostile forces.
7. The two people live in a condition of ritual and routine that results in stagnation.
8. One becomes jealous and threatened when the other faces the possibility of positive change.
9. The two often hate each other but stay together because they are afraid of the unknown.
10. The two often see their condition as "normal" because they've acclimated to their private hell. They're numb and cannot even comprehend the real nature of their pain and despair.
Part
Two. Write About a Symbiotic Relationship:
In a paragraph, describe two people you know who are dependent on each other in an unhealthy way so that the two could be said to be addicted to each other. Secondly, it could be said that the two reinforce each other's helplessness.
Part Three.
In a page or two describe two people you know who exist in a condition of symbiosis. Then in 3 pages or so, compare the symbiosis in "Elephants" with the symbiosis in "Feathers." Or simply focus on one of the stories.
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