Lesson #3: Causes of Happiness in Bhutan, Iceland, and Thailand (Second Revision)

 

Part One. Bhutan

1.  In Bhutan, Buddhism is seamlessly integrated in the culture in ways that produces happiness. For example in Buddhism, there is nothing greater than compassion and compassion creates happiness. In contrast, in America Walgreen shoppers fight and riot so that the police have to close the store. Or people fight in line at Lowes or swing squeegees at each for cutting in line at a gas station. The cashiers at Costco say they witness fights for parking spaces almost every day. 

2.  In Bhutan crime is kept at a minimum because the people believe they could be punished during reincarnation, returning to Earth as the very creature they harmed.  Result: Country’s low murder rate linked to happiness. 

3.  In Bhutan, the people have “realistic expectations” unlike Americans who feel compelled to achieve “great things”? Buddhism diminishes human excitement as foolish excitement for illusion. A lot of Americans would say they refuse to accept "realistic expectations," which are for them "low expectations," resulting in mediocrity. 

4.  In Bhutan, the people have a healthy attitude toward the reality of death and they do not deny death. This contributes to their happiness. In contrast, Americans sanitize death. The funeral, with embalming, designer outfit, deluxe coffin (usually $9,000 in today's market) and  is a huge consumer experience that makes a ton of money for the funeral home and insulates the consumer from the reality of death. 

5.  The people of Bhutan revere solitude. But later on we read there is no introspection, “no self-help books.” No one tries to be happy but everyone has a strong degree of happiness. Why does this lead to happiness? There is a difference between naval-gazing self-centeredness and solitude. Solitude can entail personal reading (as opposed to doing reading for homework), painting, drawing, writing, any act of creativity. 

6.  They won’t sell timber to rich countries for money; they won’t sell their soul to the devil of greed. They have integrity which results in a clear conscience, a form of happiness. A few pages later, the author explains how the rising GDP (Iraq, growing prison population, oil spill) doesn’t correspond to a rising happiness index or the Gross National Happiness. He writes that an old person in a care home contributes to GDP (Gross Domestic Product) but an old person cared for by family does not. Who is happier? Jeff Johnson writes about this in the Gross National Happiness and Development compendium. We can conclude that you should not strive for happiness, but strive for integrity and creative solitude. Happiness is the byproduct of those qualities. 

7.  Happiness is a collective endeavor, not an individual one. (author criticizes them for being “too sincere.” What does he mean? Perhaps "too sincere" means lacking a sense of humor and irony?) We read “happiness is relational.” What does that mean? This is the opposite of solipsism.

8.  GNH (Gross National Happiness), according to Sanjay Penjor, “means knowing your limitations; knowing how much is enough.” The Greeks had the same idea when they talked about moderation and temperance as being virtues, but in American society, built on consumer spending, we discourage moderation and temperance and encourage hype, extremes, pushing your limits. 

 

Part Two. Iceland: Happiness Is Failure

 

1.  In Iceland ambition is tempered by a sense of humor. The God of Ambition, the main God of America, is discussed as a truth we don’t realize until it’s too late: He is a false god. (end of Chapter 4)

2.  Colder climates are happier. Why? There’s the Get-Along-or-Die Theory. In warm climates we can be isolated if we want. In harsh climates, we need each other.

3.  “Interdependence is the mother of affection.”

4.  A society built on reciprocity develops love. In contrast, a lot of college students, moving from another country away from family and friends, live a life of isolation. They take classes alone, go home alone and study. The amount of isolation that afflicts a lot of college students is mind-boggling. 

5.  Iceland is so small, there are no strangers in Iceland. This adds to a key ingredient to happiness: Having a sense of community and belonging.

6.  Iceland shares the pain of inflation. Unemployment is far worse because it’s experiences individually.

7.  Icelanders don’t suffer delusions of grandeur or immortality about their cities. They feel insignificant in the best, humble sense of the word. And this sense of humility results in happiness.

8.  They accept the wonder and harsh doom of nature. As a result, they feel close to nature and this is a spiritual orientation that results in happiness.

9.  Icelanders love their language and their greetings are benevolent such as “Go happy,” vertu saell,” and “come happy,” komdu saell.”

10.               Their language is “egalitarian and utterly free of pretense.” In contrast, America is a niche elitist society where the upper classes, doctors, lawyers, computer nerds, etc., all have their own "speak," which no one else can understand. Doctors and lawyers use language you can't understand so you feel helpless and feeling helpless makes you feel dependent on them and feeling hopelessly dependent on them is good for their business. 

11.               They feel connected to the land and receive creative energy from it. In spiritual terms, this is called Pantheism, the idea that you can experience spirit or God through nature. 

12.               They have a sense of style, which is always connected to glamour. See Virginia Postrel in Atlantic article. Glamour elevates us from the banality of everyday reality. 

13.               Icelanders suppress envy by sharing things, in contrast with the Swiss who hide things.

14.               Failure doesn’t carry a stigma in Iceland. It’s okay to fail with the best intentions. It’s okay to try and fail. This is a nurturing society, not a society of haters. In contrast, failure in America results in shame, stigma, a permanent mark of ignominy and disgrace. 

15.               Naïveté serves them well. There’s a certain innocence, a goodness, about them. They’re not so “sophisticated” in an arrogant stuffy sense of the word.

16.               The collective culture encourages creativity, which allows you to lose yourself in something larger than yourself, called “flow.”

17.               Icelandic people thrive on being sad and happy at the same time, a natural part of the human condition.

 

Part Three. Happiness in Thailand:Chapter 7: Thailand: Happiness Is Not Thinking

 

1.  The “sexpat” is not happy. He’s a farang, a foreigner with a lot of money, who is disheveled. “As long as his wallet is in reasonably good shape, the rest of him can fall to pieces.” He’s looked at as pathetic, mush, unhappy.

2.  Thais are happy and one of their beliefs is that too much thinking will make you unhappy: “Thinking is like running. Just because your legs are moving doesn’t mean you’re getting anywhere. You might even be running into a headwind. You might even be running backward.”

3.  Thais do not read self-help books, go to therapy, or talk endlessly about their problems. Their wisdom lets them know that this type of naval-gazing makes your problems worse. You go backward. 

4.  Another saying against thinking: “Happy people have no reason to think; they live rather than question living.”

5.  Conclusion: Thinking about happiness makes us less happy. So reading Weiner’s book, which makes you think about happiness, must be depressing.

6.  There are only 3 ways to increase our happiness: You can increase the amount of good feelings; you can decrease the amount of bad feelings; or you can change the subject. Take a tormented relationship, for example. Thais don’t trust words. To change the subject, they say, “Mai pen lai.” It means “never mind” or “pay not attention.” Wise guys in mafia films say, “Forget about it.” In America, we have a saying, “Water under the bridge” and “Let sleeping dogs lie (stay asleep).” Here are some tormenting questions: How come Person X doesn’t like me after all I did for her? Why is there suffering in the world? How can I enjoy this chocolate cake if just one baby is starving in Ethiopia? How can I focus on my homework when there is the possibility that the sun will explode and destroy our universe as we know it? How can I look forward to going to Heaven when so many people are doomed to spend eternity in Hell?

7.  Thais believe in keeping a “cool heart,” keeping bad feelings inside, but Weiner points out that Thailand has a very high incidence of wives castrating their cheating husbands.

8.  Unlike Americans, Thais are free from the egotism that makes everything so serious. When they trip and fall, it’s funny to everyone, not a huge embarrassment. You can call your fat friend, “hippo,” and it’s cool. Not so in America. 

9.  The Thais hold a higher value of sanuk—happiness—over money and ego.

10.               Thais are solaced that if things don’t work out well in this life, they might be better in the next one.

Part Four. Alternative Introduction to Your Essay: A Personal Story About How You Became Disenchanted with the Idea of Happiness, Which Ties in to an Alternative Approach to Writing Your Essay

        There once was a man in his early twenties. Socially awkward, he had never even been on a date. Instead, he withdrew into his college studies, found companionship in books, and grew an unruly beard. Untouched by human warmth, his demeanor was a bit crazed and unsettling. His eyes were cavernous and penetrating. 

    One day this young man was on Pier Avenue in Hermosa Beach and he passed a popular hangout, Patrick Malloy’s. It was crowded inside. The young man pressed his bearded face against the glass and looked with longing at the attractive people. They looked so life-affirming and at ease with self-abandonment, laughing, slapping each other’s backs, kissing one another, and sloshing their beers over their glasses’ rims.  

        In contrast, the young man was a tightly-wound ball of repressed emotions, in turns angry and melancholy. He felt like a man of 85 trapped in the body of a 21-year old. 

      Watching the attractive people enjoying themselves and embracing life with an admirable, insatiable appetite, the young man was convinced he would remain on life’s sidelines, a depressed witness to a life passing him by. 

     Convinced of his own futility and fated to a life of loneliness, he went home, curled up into a ball and cried himself to sleep. 

      We now travel 25 years into the future and focus on this same man, now in his mid-forties. He has a good job. He has developed social skills, he is well groomed, insouciant, and can conceal his cynicism behind a veil of witty repartee. He’s been married, divorced, remarried. He sits in Patrick Malloy’s with his lovely wife and her lovely friends. Beer is sloshing all around him. He doesn’t drink, save a diet Coke since he’s the designated driver. The music is loud and people are shouting over the music. His ears can’t take much more of this. Worse, an unrelenting boredom has set in and he is no longer listening to any of the several conversations blaring around him. 

       He feels it both strange and cruel that earlier in his life he felt excluded from this club of beautiful people and now he is inside its very center, its most inner core, and rather than bathing in the warmth of belonging and popularity he stares at his watch.

       While squirming in his seat with utter boredom, he sees a young man outside the club. The man is bearded with the same cavernous eyes and the same look of despair the middle-aged man remembers seeing in his reflection. The young man, a mirror image of the middle-aged one, presses his face against the window and looks into the eyes of his older doppelgänger. 

        Feeling helpless to give wisdom to the misguided youth, the older aspiring mentor shakes his head as if to say: "The presumed happiness you see in this night club is all in your head, little brother. It's all in your head."

       Indeed, the chasing of happiness is a sure way to NOT find happiness, as well chronicled in Eric Weiner's The Geography of Bliss. We see that the quest for happiness is doomed to fail because _____________________, __________________,  and ___________________, and that happiness is the natural byproduct of certain cultural conditions, which, we learn from Iceland, Thailand, and others, consist of _____________________, _______________________, __________________, ____________________, and _______________________. 

 

Part Five. Journal Entry:

Think of the happiest person you know and write down 5 qualities that this person has that you think create happiness. Or, regarding today's alternative introduction, write about a time you were disenchanted with the idea of happiness. 

Part Six. Simplified Way to Write Essay for Geography of Bliss: Eleven-Paragraph Format

In one long paragraph, write about a time you or someone you know was disenchanted with the idea of happiness (See Journal Entry in Lesson #3). Then in your thesis paragraph (paragraph 2) argue the 4 major fallacies that impede us from attaining happiness as described in the book (paragraphs 3-6) and the 4 conditions conducive to happiness (paragraphs7-10). Finally, in your conclusion write about someone you know who has virtues that make happiness a natural byproduct of that person's life (11th paragraph).