Part One. Qatar
1. Weiner’s big question upon visiting Qatar, the richest per capita country in the world: What happens to your soul when you indulge in excess, craven luxury? See page 100.
2. Can all their wealth lead to the good life and happiness and Weiner, relying Betrand Russell, defines it on page 110 as connecting with something larger than yourself? The answer is no because self-indulgence disconnects you from the outside. Self-indulgence results in solipsism, which is the opposite of connected happiness.
3. Qataris are the nouveau riche and as such they possess arrogance and insecurity. See page 102.
4. Wealth makes us unhappy because we instinctively use wealth to isolate and insulate ourselves from the outside world. Happiness is connection with others. Wealthy people tend to be unconnected. See page 114. I’m reminded of Citizen Kane.
5. Qataris have no taxation or representation so they feel disconnected from their own society. See pages 118 and 119.
6. Weiner equates Qataris’ sudden wealth to winning the lottery. Winning the lottery historically is connected with unhappiness and ruin. See pages 122-125: We adapt to pleasure so that we have to spike the pleasure and then we have adapt to pleasure so that we have to spike the pleasure again. It’s like a cycle of addiction with nihilism, emptiness, and ruin being our final destination. I see this with my love of cars. We call this the “hedonic treadmill.”
7. We learn on pages 126 and 127 that there’s a gap between our rational intellect and our brain’s hard-wiring or “software.” Sadly, we’re programmed to chase after chimeras (BMWs, wealth, etc.) that don’t make us happy and we can’t even learn from our disappointment but continue to chase chimeras anyway.
8. Some of us are addicted to sadness as it is suggest to Eric Weiner on page 127.
9. Qataris rely on foreign labor so they feel disconnected from their country. They are dependent on cheap foreign labor and are in a way helpless. Rich but helpless. No rules, no laws, no taxes, no work. Just unhappiness.
10. We know nothing. We think we’ll be happy from achievements and wealth (Hindu word is maya, which means illusion) and we feel pained by setbacks (Hindu word is mushkala, which means illusory loss). See page 139.
Part Two. What We Learn from Qatar: Excessive Wealth Makes Even Decent, Well-Intentioned People Become Unhappy
1. When we become wealthy, we understandably become distrustful of others who may feel tempted to take advantage of us, to use us for their gain. As a result, we close our circle and we become more and more disconnected from the world. Think of the film Citizen Kane.
2. This disconnectedness from the world and constant protectiveness makes us feel embattled, which in turn creates a permanent mask of skepticism. Without checks and balances, this skepticism of others’ motives can easily turn to paranoia, an obvious condition of unhappiness.
3. When we’re filthy rich, people no longer relate to us as people. They relate to us as sycophants. Other people’s compulsion to lavish us with praise and be generally obsequious gives us a false sense of grandiosity. We begin to believe we’re as great as people treat us resulting in an obnoxious, undeserved sense of entitlement.
4. When we’re filthy rich, it’s tempting to use our money and power to clean up our messes. We become more reckless in our behavior since we know our money can take care of our errant ways. Think of the recklessness and misery of Bill Murray playing Phil Connors in the classic film Groundhog Day.
5. When we’re filthy rich, we’re compelled by normal human nature to experience “the best” and what we find is that our brains adapt to pleasure and excitement requiring more and more stimulation. The researchers calls this constant adaptation the “hedonic treadmill.” We constantly have to spike our pleasure before we adapt to it and then spike it forever and ever in a an endless cycle with us always losing the pleasure game, resulting in disappointment and frustration. And yes, unhappiness.
6. Like it or not, wealth is a drug both for the wealthy person and others who are intoxicated by the wealthy person’s aura of living on a superior, elevated plane. This mutual intoxication between the wealthy person and his or her admirers creates a sick symbiotic relationship based on fantasy, greed, and envy, components for miserable relationships.
7. It is human nature when we are rich to hire others to do everything for us. Over time we become helpless cripples dependent on our “help.” This, alas, is yet another cause of our unhappiness.
8. As human beings, we have a rational brain that knows wealth is dangerous and most often results in unhappiness but we also are hard-wired to pursue wealth no matter what our rational brain tells us. Understanding this conflict in ourselves and seeing our rational intellect being helpless to curb our irrational appetites, again, is another cause of our unhappiness.
Part Three. Unhappiness in Moldova
1. Envy: To resent others for having a better situation than yours. The unhappy cannot bear the sight of the happy.
2. The human condition is one of contrast: Hot means nothing without cold. Mozart is enhanced by Barry Manilow. Happy places are more interesting because of unhappy ones. The darkest part of the planet is Moldovia. It is the least happy nation on the planet.
3. The body language is sour and bitter and this in turn makes people feel sour and bitter.
4. Natasha says “We have no money for life.” That is her reason, but Weiner doesn’t buy it because he’s visited other countries who in poverty don’t hold that attitude.
5. The male citizens are skinny; the male cops are fat and thuggish, a bad sign.
6. They’ve been beaten down into learned helplessness (see other lectures on this topic) The Moldovans say, “This is Moldova.” Or “What can I do?”
7. Moldovans compare themselves to the richer countries, not the poorer ones. So of course the glass is half empty.
8. The service industry is rude and this is a self-fulfilling prophecy of misery.
9. There is no trust of anything, including their own people, and this results in nihilism.
10. The people are neither Russian nor Moldovan. They exist in a nether world of no identity or culture. “How can you feel good about yourself if you don’t know who you are?”
11. Their new “freedom” means nothing without jobs. They cannot afford to eat at McDonald’s.
12. Corruption and nepotism is rampant.
13. Men don’t care about their appearance because they’re outnumbered by the woman who wear raccoon makeup.
14. They are consumed by selfishness: “No este problema mea.” They can’t even recognize selfish altruism, which encourages reciprocity.
15. The Moldovans are fueled by schadenfreude; “They derive more pleasure from their neighbor’s failure than their own success.”
16. Scapegoat everything on “Perestroika.” When you scapegoat other source for your problems, your proclaiming your helplessness.
17. Envy accumulates like toxic waste.
18. There is no queuing, a sure sign of nihilism, anomie, and chaos.
19. They trust nothing: doctors under thirty-five, their own friends.
20. The once cheery American Peace Corps workers are becoming gloomy and depressed.
21. No one wants to be in Moldova, including Moldovans.
22. Helping professions score the highest in happiness surveys.
23. The Moldovans have thrown politeness and civility out the window. They say, “Give me that.” No please. In contrast, Japan emphasizes politeness. A common expression: “Gomen nasai.” I’m sorry.
24. Freedom has been reduced to a small number of people who have enough money to consume the growing selection of goods.
25. Moldovans haven’t used the golden rule of positive psychology: hedonic adaptation: No matter how severe our misfortune, we adapt. But this adaptation cannot occur in the absence of culture, living in a shadow. Moldova is a “fabricated nation.” It really does not exist.
26. Weiner concludes with “lessons gleaned from Moldova’s unhappiness”:
27. Lesson One: “Not my problem” is a mental illness, a condition of no empathy.
28. Lesson Two: Poverty is too often used as an excuse for unhappiness. Their reaction to poverty is worse than the poverty.
29. Lesson Three: A culture that belittles the value of trust and friendship and rewards mean-spiritedness and deceit cannot be happy.
Part Four.America Ranks Low on the Happiness Index. Why?
1. America is one of the wealthiest countries in the world but ranks low on happiness index. (23rd). Why? Some say we suffer from the “paradox of choice.” The more choices, the more we become anxious about making the “wrong choice”. Also more choices results in inflated expectations.
2. Abundance leads to restlessness. Again, think of the hedonic treadmill.
3. While Americans have enjoyed more abundance in general, they also work longer hours and have longer commute times, which result in unhappiness.
4. “The More Factor” is in many ways a curse. As we read in McMahon’s blog the Breakthrough Writer, the hunger for more generates a delusional fallacy, what McMahon calls “Either/Or.”
5. The hunger for More is in many ways instinctual. But as Tim Kasser observes in “Mixed Messages,” these instincts can go haywire, become inflated and actually work against us.
6. According to Laurence Shames’ essay “The More Factor,” Americans are misguided by the “presumption that America wouldkeep on booming—if not forever, then at least longer than it made sense to worry about.” But for all of our innovation and economic greatness, Laurence Shames laments that our materialistic excess has retarded our moral growth. As he writes. He opines that “Americans have been somewhat backward in adopting values, hopes, ambitions that have to do with things other thanmore.”
7. America encourages Darwinian competition, which results in isolation and paranoia. Our appetites for Darwinian competition are evidenced in the onslaught of “reality” TV shows like Survivor.
8. Darwinian competition has created a nation where pleasure has been reduced to schadenfreude, taking pleasure in other people’s failures.
9. The American Dream is living apart from the rest in a gated community, insulated with satellite TV, wireless Internet, techno-gadgets that keep us “connected” in the most unreal way. America is a good place to be lonely. People are not as lonely in other countries. Weiner points out that Latino cultures bring their family unity from other countries to America and that they rank higher than other Americans on the happiness index.
10. American consumerism is a religion that possessed most Americans and makes the shopping mall America’s Holy Temple. Of course, such worship traps consumers in the hedonic treadmill, leading to numbness and ennui.
Part Five. Journal Entry:
In a page, profile someone you know who is profoundly unhappy and analyze the causes of this unhappiness in the context of today’s lecture.
Part Six. Simplified Essay Outline:
In one long paragraph, write about a time you or someone you know was disenchanted with the idea of happiness (See Journal Entry in Lesson #3). Then in your thesis paragraph (paragraph 2) argue the 4 major fallacies that impede us from attaining happiness as described in the book (paragraphs 3-6) and the 4 conditions conducive to happiness (paragraphs7-10). Finally, in your conclusion write about someone you know who has virtues that make happiness a natural byproduct of that person's life (11th paragraph).
Comments