Iceland: Happiness Is Failure
1. In Iceland ambition is tempered by a sense of humor. Humor is the antidote to many human ills:
excessive self-regard or self-importance
pretentiousness
Humor gives us a sense of irony, which creates wisdom in the face of suffering
In contrast, we lose humor when we worship the God of Ambition, the main God of America. We don't realize this truth until it’s too late: He is a false god. (end of Chapter 4)
In contrast to the God of Ambition, Iceland values connection with fellow human beings more than money and power and ambition.
2. Colder climates are happier. Why? There’s the Get-Along-or-Die Theory. In warm climates we can be isolated if we want. In harsh climates, we need each other. We call this social cooperation and reciprocity.
Society's built on cooperation must evolve a moral code such as "Don't do to others what you want done to yourself."
3. “Interdependence is the mother of affection.”
4. A society built on reciprocity develops trust and love.
In contrast, a lot of college students, moving from another country away from family and friends, live a life of isolation. They take classes alone, go home alone and study. The amount of isolation that afflicts a lot of college students is mind-boggling.
5. Iceland is so small, there are no strangers in Iceland. This adds to a key ingredient to happiness: Having a sense of community and belonging.
6. Iceland shares the pain of inflation. Unemployment is far worse because it’s experiences individually.
Unemployment is so crushing to the soul and mind that it's regarded as an official mental disease in the United States. Unemployment is a disease from which many never recover.
Studies show after 3 years of unemployment, people "go off the grid" and disappear.
7. Icelanders don’t suffer delusions of grandeur or immortality about their cities. They feel insignificant in the best, humble sense of the word. And this sense of humility results in happiness.
8. They accept the wonder and harsh doom of nature. As a result, they feel close to nature and this is a spiritual orientation that results in happiness.
9. Icelanders love their language and their greetings are benevolent such as “Go happy,” vertu saell,” and “come happy,” komdu saell.”
10. Their language is “egalitarian and utterly free of pretense.” In contrast, America is a niche elitist society where the upper classes, doctors, lawyers, computer nerds, etc., all have their own "speak," which no one else can understand. Doctors and lawyers use language you can't understand so you feel helpless and feeling helpless makes you feel dependent on them and feeling hopelessly dependent on them is good for their business.
11. They feel connected to the land and receive creative energy from it. In spiritual terms, this is called Pantheism, the idea that you can experience spirit or God through nature.
12. They have a sense of style, which is always connected to glamour. See Virginia Postrel in Atlantic article. Glamour elevates us from the banality of everyday reality.
13. Icelanders suppress envy by sharing things, in contrast with the Swiss who hide things.
14. Failure doesn’t carry a stigma in Iceland. It’s okay to fail with the best intentions. It’s okay to try and fail. This is a nurturing society, not a society of haters. In contrast, failure in America results in shame, stigma, a permanent mark of ignominy and disgrace.
15. Naïveté serves them well. There’s a certain innocence, a goodness, about them. They’re not so “sophisticated” in an arrogant stuffy sense of the word.
16. The collective culture encourages creativity, which allows you to lose yourself in something larger than yourself, called “flow.”
17. Icelandic people thrive on being sad and happy at the same time, a natural part of the human condition.
Why Is Encouraging Failure an Essential Moral Component for a Thriving Society?
First, let us look at this worthy blog post.
Encouraging failure acknowledges that to grow and succeed in life we must go through trial and error.
To encourage growth and success is to lay down the groundwork for a nurturing society.
A nurturing society, based on mutual cooperation and reciprocity, is a moral society.
Encouraging failure is allowing people to stretch their arms and not be squeezed in a box in terms of their life roles.
Too often we pigeonhole people into their roles and identities. Because Iceland doesn’t do this, the country has the highest number of artists per capita.
Encouraging failure evidences a community exacting cooperation, not ruthless competition.
Encouraging failure gives people freedom to try new things without suffering mockery and ridicule.
Encouraging failure as a natural byproduct of trial and errors spares people from the lifelong stigma of “being a failure.”
Encouraging failure emphasizes good intentions over results.
Encouraging failure frees us to explore new things and emphasize the journey over the end result.
Encouraging failure allows us to be rewarded for the hard effort over the result.
Developing Your Thesis
A thesis statement is one sentence that articulates the central idea of your essay.
A thesis statement is one sentence that tells readers your position or argument.
A thesis statement often outlines your essay’s body paragraphs with mapping components.
A thesis statement is born out of your assigned topic.
A thesis statement can never be merely a statement of your topic. Rather, it must be the point you are making about your topic.
Example
Topic
Standardized testing is part of the No Child Left Behind program.
Argumentative Thesis Statement
Standardized testing is a profit-driven sham that we need to replace with more reliable measures of student learning outcomes.
Standardized testing is a money-grabbing sham that we need to replace with more reliable measures of student learning outcomes because the evidence shows that _______________, ___________________, ________________, and _________________.
Topic
In high numbers, upper class educated Anglos are not vaccinating their children from measles and other diseases.
Cause and Effect Thesis Statement
Many upper class educated Anglos are not vaccinating their children because their pride, paranoia, and pseudo-science have intoxicated them into embracing all the myths de jour of the anti-vaccine movement.
Argumentative Thesis Statement
There should be harsh penalties incurred against parents who don’t vaccinate their children because ________________, ________________, _______________, and _______________________.
Topic
Unlike other first-world countries, the United States spends close to 18 percent of its GDP on healthcare while other countries spend closer to 10 percent.
Cause and Effect Thesis Statement
The United States is resigned to spending 18 percent of its GDP on healthcare because __________________, __________________, _________________, and _______________________.
Argumentative Thesis Statement
The United States needs to get its healthcare GDP down to about 10 percent because _______________, _______________, ______________, and ___________________.
Topic
The link between morality and happiness is the focus of our writing assignment.
Definition Thesis
Reading The Geography of Bliss, we learn that happiness is not pleasure or wealth but strong moral cultural norms, which are characterized by ____________, _____________, _____________, and _______________.
Cause and Effect Thesis
Reading The Geography of Bliss, we discover that strong moral cultural norms nurture happiness by ________________, __________________, ______________, and ___________________.
It is imperative, we learn through The Geography of Bliss, that we embrace strong moral cultural norms to facilitate happiness evidenced by _______________, _______________, ________________, and ___________________.
As The Geography of Bliss teaches us however implicitly, it is imperative that we embrace strong moral cultural norms to create happiness evidenced by _________________, __________________, ________________, and ____________________.
Happiness in Thailand:
Chapter 7: Thailand: Happiness Is Not Thinking
1. The “sexpat” is not happy. He’s a farang, a foreigner with a lot of money, who is disheveled. “As long as his wallet is in reasonably good shape, the rest of him can fall to pieces.” He’s looked at as pathetic, mush, unhappy. Why? Because his hedonism has pushed him into a condition of moral dissolution.
2. Thais are happy and one of their beliefs is that too much thinking will make you unhappy: “Thinking is like running. Just because your legs are moving doesn’t mean you’re getting anywhere. You might even be running into a headwind. You might even be running backward.”
3. Thais do not read self-help books, go to therapy, or talk endlessly about their problems. Their wisdom lets them know that this type of naval-gazing makes your problems worse. You go backward.
4. Another saying against thinking: “Happy people have no reason to think; they live rather than question living.”
5. Conclusion: Thinking about happiness makes us less happy. So reading Weiner’s book, which makes you think about happiness, must be depressing.
6. There are only 3 ways to increase our happiness: You can increase the amount of good feelings; you can decrease the amount of bad feelings; or you can change the subject. Take a tormented relationship, for example. Thais don’t trust words. To change the subject, they say, “Mai pen lai.” It means “never mind” or “pay not attention.” Wise guys in mafia films say, “Forget about it.” In America, we have a saying, “Water under the bridge” and “Let sleeping dogs lie (stay asleep).” Here are some tormenting questions: How come Person X doesn’t like me after all I did for her? Why is there suffering in the world? How can I enjoy this chocolate cake if just one baby is starving in Ethiopia? How can I focus on my homework when there is the possibility that the sun will explode and destroy our universe as we know it? How can I look forward to going to Heaven when so many people are doomed to spend eternity in Hell?
7. Thais believe in keeping a “cool heart,” keeping bad feelings inside, but Weiner points out that Thailand has a very high incidence of wives castrating their cheating husbands.
8. Unlike Americans, Thais are free from the egotism that makes everything so serious. When they trip and fall, it’s funny to everyone, not a huge embarrassment. You can call your fat friend, “hippo,” and it’s cool. Not so in America.
9. The Thais hold a higher value of sanuk—happiness—over money and ego.
10. Thais are solaced that if things don’t work out well in this life, they might be better in the next one.
Happiness Review
Causes of Happiness in Iceland, Bhutan, and Thailand
One. Cooperation and social reciprocity
Two. Empathy ("we're all in this together" mentality)
Three. Wisdom to understand self-interested altruism
Four. Humor, being able to laugh at the human condition
Five. Moral code of integrity and social reciprocity
Qatar
1. Weiner’s big question upon visiting Qatar, the richest per capita country in the world: What happens to your soul when you indulge in excess, craven luxury? You hit the hedonic treadmill; your pleasure sensors acclimate to stimulation so you need greater and greater stimulation until you short-circuit. See page 100. You might see the film A Simple Plan.
2. Can all their wealth lead to the good life and happiness and Weiner, relying Betrand Russell, defines it on page 110 as connecting with something larger than yourself? The answer is no because self-indulgence disconnects you from the outside. Self-indulgence results in solipsism, which is the opposite of connected happiness. Self-indulgence kills empathy, which kills connection to human race.
3. Qataris are the nouveau riche and as such they possess arrogance and insecurity. When we become suddenly rich, we become a parvenu, a person who is insecure with his new role. He never feels he measures up, so he over-compensates. See page 102.
4. Wealth makes us unhappy because we instinctively use wealth to isolate and insulate ourselves from the outside world whom we see as vultures eager to steal our treasures. Happiness is fear and loathing of the human race; it is connection with others. Wealthy people tend to be unconnected. See page 114. I’m reminded of Citizen Kane.
5. Qataris have no taxation or representation so they feel disconnected from their own society. See pages 118 and 119.
6. Weiner equates Qataris’ sudden wealth to winning the lottery. Winning the lottery historically is connected with unhappiness and ruin. See pages 122-125: We adapt to pleasure so that we have to spike the pleasure and then we have adapt to pleasure so that we have to spike the pleasure again. It’s like a cycle of addiction with nihilism, emptiness, and ruin being our final destination. I see this with my love of cars. We call this the “hedonic treadmill.”
7. We learn on pages 126 and 127 that there’s a gap between our rational intellect and our brain’s hard-wiring or “software.” Sadly, we’re programmed to chase after chimeras (BMWs, wealth, etc.) that don’t make us happy and we can’t even learn from our disappointment but continue to chase chimeras anyway. We are sadly at war with ourselves. We are at war with our Darwin Gene and our Empathy Gene. We need both but too much of one over the other results in ruin.
8. Some of us are addicted to sadness as it is suggest to Eric Weiner on page 127.
9. Qataris rely on foreign labor so they feel disconnected from their country. They are dependent on cheap foreign labor and are in a way helpless. Rich but helpless. No rules, no laws, no taxes, no work. Just unhappiness. A life with no boundaries always leads to despair and self-destruction. Ironically, a life with no boundaries is many Americans' definition of freedom. This is a perverted definition. Real freedom is based on boundaries. As a 13-year-old kid, I learned the joy of having a clean room, a condition that didn't materialize until my father issued threats toward me. Life became easier and full of well-being.
10. We know nothing. We think we’ll be happy from achievements and wealth (Hindu word is maya, which means illusion) and we feel pained by setbacks (Hindu word is mushkala, which means illusory loss). See page 139.
Part Two. What We Learn from Qatar: Excessive Wealth Makes Even Decent, Well-Intentioned People Become Unhappy
1. When we become wealthy, we understandably become distrustful of others who may feel tempted to take advantage of us, to use us for their gain. As a result, we close our circle and we become more and more disconnected from the world. Think of the film Citizen Kane.
2. This disconnectedness from the world and constant protectiveness makes us feel embattled, which in turn creates a permanent mask of skepticism. Without checks and balances, this skepticism of others’ motives can easily turn to paranoia, an obvious condition of unhappiness.
3. When we’re filthy rich, people no longer relate to us as people. They relate to us as sycophants. Other people’s compulsion to lavish us with praise and be generally obsequious gives us a false sense of grandiosity. We begin to believe we’re as great as people treat us resulting in an obnoxious, undeserved sense of entitlement. When we're surrounded by sycophants, we live in a bubble of our own unchallenged illusions and as a result we will go crazy.
4. When we’re filthy rich, it’s tempting to use our money and power to clean up our messes. We become more reckless in our behavior since we know our money can take care of our errant ways. Think of the recklessness and misery of Bill Murray playing Phil Connors in the classic film Groundhog Day. Or we can take a page from the news and look at Justin Bieber.
5. When we’re filthy rich, we’re compelled by normal human nature to experience “the best” and what we find is that our brains adapt to pleasure and excitement requiring more and more stimulation. The researchers calls this constant adaptation the “hedonic treadmill.” We constantly have to spike our pleasure before we adapt to it and then spike it forever and ever in a an endless cycle with us always losing the pleasure game, resulting in disappointment and frustration. And yes, unhappiness.
6. Like it or not, wealth is a drug both for the wealthy person and others who are intoxicated by the wealthy person’s aura of living on a superior, elevated plane. People who are infatuated by the This mutual wealthy and kiss their butt are called sycophants or toadies. Intoxication between the wealthy person and his or her admirers creates a sick symbiotic relationship based on fantasy, greed, and envy, components for miserable relationships.
7. It is human nature when we are rich to hire others to do everything for us. Over time we become helpless cripples dependent on our “help.” This, alas, is yet another cause of our unhappiness.
8. As human beings, we have a rational brain that knows wealth is dangerous and most often results in unhappiness but we also are hard-wired to pursue wealth no matter what our rational brain tells us. Understanding this conflict in ourselves and seeing our rational intellect being helpless to curb our irrational appetites, again, is another cause of our unhappiness.
Part Three. Unhappiness in Moldova
1. Envy: To resent others for having a better situation than yours. The unhappy cannot bear the sight of the happy. I only suffer from half-envy. I wish I could be like some people, but I don't hate them.
2. The human condition is one of contrast: Hot means nothing without cold. Mozart is enhanced by Barry Manilow. Happy places are more interesting because of unhappy ones. The darkest part of the planet is Moldovia. It is the least happy nation on the planet.
3. The body language is sour and bitter and this in turn makes people feel sour and bitter.
4. Natasha says “We have no money for life.” That is her reason, but Weiner doesn’t buy it because he’s visited other countries who in poverty don’t hold that attitude.
5. The male citizens are skinny; the male cops are fat and thuggish, a bad sign.
6. They’ve been beaten down into learned helplessness (see other lectures on this topic) The Moldovans say, “This is Moldova.” Or “What can I do?”
7. Moldovans compare themselves to the richer countries, not the poorer ones. So of course the glass is half empty.
8. The service industry is rude and this is a self-fulfilling prophecy of misery because you're turning off tourists, among other people.
9. There is no trust of anything, including their own people, and this results in nihilism.
10. The people are neither Russian nor Moldovan. They exist in a nether world of no identity or culture. “How can you feel good about yourself if you don’t know who you are?”
11. Their new “freedom” means nothing without jobs. They cannot afford to eat at McDonald’s.
12. Corruption and nepotism is rampant.
13. Men don’t care about their appearance because they’re outnumbered by the woman who wear raccoon makeup.
14. They are consumed by selfishness: “No este problema mea.” They can’t even recognize selfish altruism, which encourages reciprocity.
15. The Moldovans are fueled by schadenfreude; “They derive more pleasure from their neighbor’s failure than their own success.”
16. Scapegoat everything on “Perestroika.” When you scapegoat other source for your problems, your proclaiming your helplessness.
17. Envy accumulates like toxic waste.
18. There is no queuing, a sure sign of nihilism, anomie, and chaos.
19. They trust nothing: doctors under thirty-five, their own friends.
20. The once cheery American Peace Corps workers are becoming gloomy and depressed.
21. No one wants to be in Moldova, including Moldovans.
22. Helping professions score the highest in happiness surveys.
23. The Moldovans have thrown politeness and civility out the window. They say, “Give me that.” No please. In contrast, Japan emphasizes politeness. A common expression: “Gomen nasai.” I’m sorry.
24. Freedom has been reduced to a small number of people who have enough money to consume the growing selection of goods.
25. Moldovans haven’t used the golden rule of positive psychology: hedonic adaptation: No matter how severe our misfortune, we adapt. But this adaptation cannot occur in the absence of culture, living in a shadow of moral rot. They have never learned that social reciprocity results in happiness more than bitter selfishness, a condition they cling to with all their defiant strength. Moldova is a “fabricated nation.” It really does not exist.
26. Weiner concludes with “lessons gleaned from Moldova’s unhappiness”:
27. Lesson One: “Not my problem” is a mental illness, a condition of no empathy.
28. Lesson Two: Poverty is too often used as an excuse for unhappiness. Their reaction to poverty is worse than the poverty.
29. Lesson Three: A culture that belittles the value of trust and friendship and rewards mean-spiritedness and deceit cannot be happy.
Part Four.America Ranks Low on the Happiness Index. Why?
1. America is one of the wealthiest countries in the world but ranks low on happiness index. (23rd). Why? Some say we suffer from the “paradox of choice.” The more choices, the more we become anxious about making the “wrong choice”. Also more choices results in inflated expectations.
2. Abundance leads to restlessness. Again, think of the hedonic treadmill.
3. While Americans have enjoyed more abundance in general, they also work longer hours and have longer commute times, which result in unhappiness.
4. “The More Factor” is in many ways a curse. As we read in McMahon’s blog the Breakthrough Writer, the hunger for more generates a delusional fallacy, what McMahon calls “Either/Or.”
5. The hunger for More is in many ways instinctual. But as Tim Kasser observes in “Mixed Messages,” these instincts can go haywire, become inflated and actually work against us.
6. According to Laurence Shames’ essay “The More Factor,” Americans are misguided by the “presumption that America would keep on booming—if not forever, then at least longer than it made sense to worry about.” But for all of our innovation and economic greatness, Laurence Shames laments that our materialistic excess has retarded our moral growth. As he writes. He opines that “Americans have been somewhat backward in adopting values, hopes, ambitions that have to do with things other than more.”
7. America encourages Darwinian competition, which results in isolation and paranoia. Our appetites for Darwinian competition are evidenced in the onslaught of “reality” TV shows like Survivor.
8. Darwinian competition has created a nation where pleasure has been reduced to schadenfreude, taking pleasure in other people’s failures.
9. The American Dream is living apart from the rest in a gated community, insulated with satellite TV, wireless Internet, techno-gadgets that keep us “connected” in the most unreal way. America is a good place to be lonely. People are not as lonely in other countries. Weiner points out that Latino cultures bring their family unity from other countries to America and that they rank higher than other Americans on the happiness index.
10. American consumerism is a religion that possessed most Americans and makes the shopping mall America’s Holy Temple. Of course, such worship traps consumers in the hedonic treadmill, leading to numbness and ennui.
Part Five. Write a thesis for your essay.
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