The purpose of a writing class is to develop a meaningful thesis, direct or implied, that will generate a compelling essay. Most importantly, a meaningful thesis will have a strong emotional connection between you and the material. In fact, if you don’t have a “fire in your belly” to write the paper, your essay will be nothing more than a limp document, a perfunctory exercise in futility. A successful thesis will also be intellectually challenging and afford a complexity worthy of college-level writing. Thirdly, the successful thesis will be demonstrable, which means it can be supported by examples and illustrations in a recognizable organizational design.
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1. How do Ivan’s ruminations in Part X recall the life without meaning discussed in Frankl’s book?
2. How does Ivan find the limitations of his “legality and correctitude”?
3. In Part XI, Ivan asks himself “What if my whole had been wrong?” What does it mean that Ivan’s entire life was “wrong” or a complete sham? He sees his whole life as a deception, a farce. What are the ten or so distinguishing characteristics of a life of deception? Of course, refer to Pascal and others.
4. What convention does he hate in his wife after he takes the communion in Part XI?
5. Explain Ivan’s final experience before death in Part XII. Does he feel loving compassion for his family based on his vision or does he feel pity based on nihilistic despair? Explain.
Part II What is Ivan's life of deception, of a "proper" and "correct" life?
One. Correct means don't rock the boat; conform to the given norms so as not to upset others and to affirm their tastes and practices.
Two. Correct means create an appearance of morality and spend time erecting the facade, which is the issue. Your real morality doesn't matter. Pretend to care for others and make a show of it but in private have contempt for underlings as Ivan did.
Three. Correct means deny death because death is rude and unpleasant and our life of deception loses its splendor and cachet in the presence of death.
Four. Correct means give implicit admiration for power, privilege, selfishness, and ambition while giving explicit admiration for charity and sacrifice.
Some Students Are Writing Mixed Sentence Structure: (They are combining subordinating conjunction with coordinating conjunction (FANBOYS) or conjunctive adverbs.
While man must find meaning, but he lives in the existential vacuum.
Although we all must suffer, however we can use suffering to find meaning.
Although we want to avoid suffering, but it is precisely suffering that forces us to fulfull our life purpose.
Also students are using "although" incorrectly by placing a comma after it when "although" begins a dependent clause.
Although, Sherry drives a Camry, she wants a BMW.
Although, reading Man's Search for Meaning proved difficult, the book changed my life.
Examples of Weak and Strong Thesis Statements
I sure wouldn't want to be like Ivan.
Ivan's marriage was a living hell.
Ivan's wife was a lousy person.
Ivan's death made him look at his life for what it was, a joke.
Ivan's life was full of vanity.
Ivan's life was all image, no substance.
Ivan cared too much about material things.
There's no point in writing this essay since the story is boring and there are no appealing characters. McMahon, I hate you. The very fact that you assigned this novel makes you the worst professor ever.
McMahon, next time can we watch a movie?
More Successful Thesis Statements
Ivan's failure to embrace meaning, and his society at large, creates a system of mutual dehumanization, which doesn't becomes revealed in all its horror until the process of Ivan's slow, agonizing death. This dehumanization consists of alienation of others (outcasting the dying for being "impolite"), commodification of human beings (using each other as trophies for a preferred image), narcissistic denial of death ("I'm too special. It wouldn't happen to me."), and the libido ostentandi (waiting for grand moments while real life passes us by).
Introducing Your Essay
You should have an opening paragraph that slaps the reader in the face, grabs the reader's attention, and establishes the relevance of your essay.
Some Good Introductory Techniques Followed by Transitions That Bridge Us to the Thesis Paragraph
A striking dramatic narrative:
An old woman at a bazaar in Buenos Aires was wearing a mink coat to show off her riches. When the hot weather made her overcome with sweat and discomfort, she forced herself to keep her jacket on, so adamant was her vanity. Soon after she died from heat stroke. Likewise, Ivan Ilyich was a victim of his own vanity and his refusal to embrace meaning, which resulted in _________, _________, __________, and ____________.
Use a Salient Quotation
George Bernard Shaw said there are two tragedies in life: The first is not getting what we want; the second is getting it. Indeed, Ivan Ilyich received all he wanted in the materialistic sense and that was his very tragedy, that he lived in the existential vacuum, which resulted in __________, __________, _________, and _____________.
Define an Important Term
The libido ostentandi is the need to show off your ostentatious lifestyle. It is of course a desire fueled by vanity. Surely, we can say that Ivan Ilyich was a man driven by the libido ostentandi, one of the symptoms of living in the existential vacuum. The other symptoms include _________, __________, ________, and __________.
Lexicon
1. empathy, being able to imagine and feel the suffering of others without condescening to them or pitying them in a way that insults their humanity.
The other characters cannot fathom Ivan's suffering. In spite of hiring a lot of experts, no one can grasp Ivan's illness and there is an implicit accusation that Ivan is being "difficult" as if his deathly illness were born from some immoral and impolite part of him.
Also the illness remains ambiguous and thus can be called an existential illness, one that transcends the physical and is in truth a spiritual disease in addition to being a physical affliction.
2. Contempt: Because no one wants to face death and because Ivan has become a conduit for death, everyone shuns him as a curse. Ivan becomes a plague to his family and community. Thus in his miserable deathly illness when he needs human compassion the most, the human race turns on him and he faces his sickness in insufferable solitude.
3. Cruel irony of the libido ostentandi: All the people that Ivan tried to impress, all the people whose admiration he desired above all else, turn out to be miserable, delusional, unworthy creatures and thus Ivan realizes he has pissed his life away on nonsense. His whole life has been a complete waste. This is the real source of his pain, even more than his terminal disease.
To pour salt into the wound, we see at the end of Part V as he lie on his bed that he and his wife's mutual hatred is more raw and chilling and ever. Their mutual hatred is bare to the bone. "He hated her from the bottom of his soul."
Contrast this with Viktor Frankl's love for his wife who becomes a spirit of solace, "accompanying" him in the concentration camps, giving him comfort and transcendence.
To pour yet even more salt into his wounds, he sees everyone waiting for him to die so that he will no longer be an inconvenience to them. See opening of Part VII.
4. We all have an "it" in our life, an obsession that consumes our thoughts no matter how much we distract ourselves. In Ivan's case, the "it" is his terminal illness if not death itself. For some of us it can be:
The Great Rejection
The Great Loss of Money
The Great Betrayal
The Missed Pot of Gold or The Missed Opportunity
Revenge
The Great Resolve (we try over and over to be good but we become our worst version of ourselves in spite of our earnest intentions)
(as an aside, it's been said that all fiction is about obsession)
One. What stages of accepting death do we see in the opening of Part VI? "I cannot die because my emotions are more significant than others, more deep." Therefore, Ivan is a narcissist. "No one of my unique and special grandeur and greatness could ever die."
Two. How is Ivan being stripped to a bare naked existence, as Frankl puts it, in Parts VI and VII?
For one, he is stripped of his status, all the things he did to build an image that would win the admiration of others.
For two, he sees that his life, especially his marriage, is a farce, a sham, and a lie. In other words, Ivan is stripped of his illusions about who is and what his life has become.
Three. How is Gerasim a Man of Meaning torn from the pages of Viktor Frankl’s book? He embraces compassion for another with a good spirit.
Compare this to comedian Louis CK who says he is evil for his selfish desire to own an Infiniti. Every day he drives an Infiniti he is responsible for hundreds of deaths of those starving. Why? Because he could sell his Infiniti, replace it with a cheap car and give the excess money to the poor. This is a familiar argument posited by Peter Singer in a New York Times article.
Four. Contrast Gerasim’s behavior and attitude toward Ivan with everyone else in the novella. Gerasim embraces the hard work of giving Ivan comfort with joy while everyone else looks at Ivan as a curse.
Five. What deception tortures Ivan in Part VI? Explain. Everyone believes, in a condition of willed denial, that Ivan is not deathly ill. He just needs to rest and in a while he will get better. This is a selfish deception so no one has to confront death. Their denial of his death justifies their self-indulgent lifestyle, luxuriating in delicious dishes, having wanton conversation, etc. This vision of selfishness sours Ivan but I wonder if deep down he knows he has would do the same if he were in their shoes.
Six. Why is there shame surrounding Ivan’s death when there should be courage and dignity? See Part VII. The shame lies in Ivan's longing for pity from people who are not even worthy of giving him pity.
In other words, Ivan becomes a misanthrope, a hater of the human race, and his hatred extends toward himself.
Seven. What bitterness awaits Ivan in Part IX? Even the Child Inside Him, the little boy with fond memories, has died. And then to make matters worse, he asks himself for what purpose did he live and he has no purpose other than to feed his vanity.
Eight. How does Part IX suggest we need a life of meaning to prepare ourselves for the times in life we are helpless? Contrast, Ivan's helpless state to the people Frankl profiles who are near death yet have found peace and dignity.
Some Students Are Writing Mixed Sentence Structure: (They are combining subordinating conjunction with coordinating conjunction (FANBOYS) or conjunctive adverbs.
While man must find meaning, but he lives in the existential vacuum.
Although we all must suffer, however we can use suffering to find meaning.
Although we want to avoid suffering, but it is precisely suffering that forces us to fulfull our life purpose.
Also students are using "although" incorrectly by placing a comma after it when "although" begins a dependent clause.
Although, Sherry drives a Camry, she wants a BMW.
Although, reading Man's Search for Meaning proved difficult, the book changed my life.
Pronoun Errors: Don't Change Your Pronouns
Here are some pronouns we use when writing essays:
one: One usually must wait for one's intellect to match one's spirit.
you (usually discouraged by professors): You must not run away from the fox and into the mouth of the lion. You must in other words embrace the smaller challenges to avoid catastrophe.
he (frowned upon in colleges): A person uninformed will often panic when he is faced with a difficult decision.
she (more acceptable in colleges) A person uninformed will often panic when she is faced with a difficult decision.
they (acceptable): When people join fanatical ideologies, they are often vulnerable to brainwashing and exploitation. They would be well advised to shun such extreme and fanatical groups.
We (acceptablity level varies; check with your professor): When we are confronted with the existential vacuum, we must ask ourselves, what is the antidote or the cure for such a vexing situation?
Incorrect pronoun changes
When a person stuffs himself with pizza they are overcome with upset stomach making you want to run to the bathroom. We should be moderate in our eating. That way you will not be embarrassed in social situations by a raging stomach that can afflict all of us. One must remember this principle if you are to be successful in life.
Ivan Ilyich lived the "proper" life, which was his downfall.
Ivan Ilyich lived a horrible, lonely life.
Ivan Ilyich had a crappy marriage.
Ivan Ilyich's life had no meaning.
Ivan Ilyich didn't devote enough time to fixing his marriage. They should have gone into counseling.
Ivan Ilyich is a vain, pompous ass who deserved what he got.
Ivan got rich but could never get over his loneliness.
Ivan Ilyich is my hero for sticking to his guns.
Ivan Ilyich was a good man who was betrayed by an ungrateful family.
McMahon is unfair in his judgment of Ivan Ilyich who was simply a good man who got back-stabbed by a sick, superficial society.
Better Thesis
McMahon's interpretation of the novella fails in many ways, including ____________, ___________, ____________, and __________________.
Ivan Ilyich embodies the principle that "the ordinary life is the most terrible life at all." This becomes clear when we examine the ordinary and its dangerous consequences in the context of Viktor Frankl's existential vacuum. The consequences of Ivan Ilyich's refusal to embrace meaning and instead to live inside the existential vacuum are evidenced in the story in many ways including ___________________, ___________________, ____________________, _____________, and ____________________.
McMahon's Thesis
Without a life of meaning as described by Viktor Frankl, Ivan Ilyich foresakes his Higher Self and instead coddles his Infant Demon, a soul doomed to the existential vacuum evidenced by blind ambition, a toxic, hate-fueled marriage, virulent materialism (philistinism), narcissistic self-pity, and a complete surrender to the Assumed Consensus.
Symptoms of Ivan Ilyich's Existential Vacuum
1. Narcissism: all energies and attention directed toward the self so that external reality does not register. Such extreme self-centeredness, as evident in Ivan, is a form of insanity and is also called solipsism.
People become narcissistic because their lives lack meaning and in their boredom they turn inward, fretting about themselves. Self-centeredness is the natural obsession of a life without meaning.
2. Bitterness: inflated expectations of self-glory are never met so that the narcissist feels bitter, that he never got his due even though Ivan lives a life of status and privilege. The problem is that his status and privilege fail him and make him feel disappointed, bitter, and remorseful.
3. Ennui, the boredom from becoming numb on the "hedonic treadmill." Also without meaning, the spirit sucuumbs to ennui, spiritual boredom.
4. philistine, Ivan has no interest in culture, the arts, or fashion except as a show to others, but without authentic passion he can only define himself by the things he buys for himself and as such he is a philistine.
5. Paranoia, the inflated self-importance of a narcissist like Ivan compels him to create scenarios in which fictitious enemies are plotting against him, trying to destroy him, and trying to overtake his empire. In truth, Ivan is his own worst enemy and he is being devoured by the existential vacuum.
One. What evidences that Ivan has declined in Part III to a petty man inclined to self-pity and an ugly sense of entitlement? Consider his missed job promotion and his increased financial “needs.” And consider his need to “punish those who don’t appreciate him.”
Two. Why does Ivan suffer from ennui during a summer leave from work? What demons must he confront without the bustle of his job?
In truth, Ivan's job is relief from the hell of his marriage. More than anything, his marriage is killing him both physically and spiritually. His marriage is the cornerstone of his phone life, a life wasted on mutual disrespect.
Three. How do Ivan’s misguided activities in Part III suggest he is reacting to the existential vacuum? Is he really “completely happy” or is the narrator being ironic, really meaning, “temporarily assuaged”?
Every time Ivan becomes bored or has a fight with his wife, he puts a band-aid on his crisis by buying a new toy, erecting a new household item, or getting a job promotion, but like a child bored with a toy, he soon grows sullen and begins to crave a new band-aid to feebly cover his deeper problem, which is his life has no meaning.
Thus the "death" of Ivan Ilyich is really about the death that results from the existential vacuum. The physical death is almost an afterthought.
Four. How does consumerism buoy Ivan’s marriage and give it a patina of loveliness and harmony? The same answer as above.
Five. What evidences soulless conformity in Ivan’s house? They have to buy things that will impress party guests.
Six. What suggests Ivan is always living just beyond his means? He is like a drug addict who needs to feed his libido ostentandi (drive to be ostentatious) with all his resources so that he is under constant financial burden.
Seven. How does Ivan’s professional conduct in Part III reveal him to be an abject hypocrite completely absent of empathy and a thoroughly wretched human being? He only behaves decently toward his underlings in front of others but when no one is watching he exacts cruelty upon his employees and thus reveals his true sadistic self, a barren man hungry for power to compensate for the existential vacuum.
Eight. Based on Ivan’s reading and consumer habits in Part III, how can we definitively say that he is a dreaded philistine? He only buys things to impress others, not himself. He has no appreciation for things other than as trophies.
Nine. How are Ivan’s home entertainments indicative of the Chanel No. 5 Moment? The Chanel No. 5 Moment (those moments we bathe in the glory of thinking we are the center of attention and admiration) feeds delusions of grandeur but it is also ethereal or short-lived and must be constantly recreated.
Like most people, Ivan's life is about enduring the excruciating intervals between one Chanel No. 5 Moment and the next. All the while, Ivan is dying inside.
Ten. What evidence in Part IV suggests neither Ivan nor his wife have ever matured or found meaning? At one point, they fight over the costs of party expenses to the point that they almost kill each other and get a divorce. Are the party costs the real issue? No, the real issue is that they live in a loveless marriage and they know deep down that they are wasting their lives on a fake marriage. As such, they lack self-respect and respect for each other.
Eleven. Why is Ivan’s wife torn by feelings of wanting Ivan to die and not wanting him to die?
Twelve. What is the response of Ivan’s wife and daughter to his worsening illness? See Part IV near the end.
Thirteen. How, so to speak, does Ivan see the vultures circling at the end of Part IV?
Fourteen. What evidence is there that Ivan is becoming more and more ostracized for his fatal illness? End of Part IV and Part V.
Fifteen. Ivan feels he is going insane in Part V. Explain. People live with their illusions about death while Ivan has lost his. The disparity between his worldview and theirs is surreal. Imagine, if you will, having a dream that you're on a school playground and everyone is having fun and laughing at which time you see a ferocious dinosaur, a Tyrannosaurus Rex, approaching from a distant field. You scream to warn the others but they ignore you and continue playing. That's how Ivan feels.
In the beginning of Part II we read that "Ivan Illych's life had been most simple and most ordinary and therefore most terrible." Develop a thesis with 4 or 5 mapping components that explain this opening line in the context of Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning. Successful, A-level essays will include additional examples from personal experience.
The same assignment worded differently:
Ivan is obsessed with a "proper" and "correct" life and those things that were "proper" and "correct" failed him. Explain by developing a thesis with 4 or 5 mapping components.
Failed Thesis Statements That Address the Essay Topic
Too general or broad
Too obvious
Thesis doesn't lend itself to mapping components or body paragraph topic sentences
Better example of a thesis that addresses the topic:
Story Questions
1. How does provisional self-interest raise its ugly head in the opening scene? Death is not a time to contemplate the loss of life, the meaning of life, or the service we might assert to the loved ones of the dead. Rather, death is nothing more than a possible job promotion. One less person exists between us and our goal. The death of others should be celebrated.
The second thing death means is this: "Oh, crap, I've got to go to a funeral. What a pain in the ass, man."
2. What is the role of schadenfreude in the opening scene? The failure, demise, and even death of others means my possible success. And relief. "It is he who is dead and not I."
3. How in effect is death rude in the opening scene evidenced by the resentment in the men’s inner thoughts? Ivan made a mess of things. What's amazing in the opening scene is that Ivan's colleagues act as if Ivan's illness and eventual death was part of "an act," an exercise of self-attention, impudence (offensively bold, immodest behavior). "But what really was the matter with him?" "The doctors couldn't say." In other words, they question the authenticity of his illness. Somehow, Ivan's troubles were the result of a moral flaw that inconvenienced others.
4. Describe Peter’s fearful reaction to the corpse and connect that reaction with something Franz Kafka wrote: “The fear of death is the fear of an unfulfilled life.” Also, Peter is a coward who doesn't want to face the reality that death usually doesn't come instantly. Rather we suffer a long time before it arrives. Secondly, we die alone. We have to be at peace with ourselves and people in the hell of the existential vacuum are never content to be alone. They live in abject fear.
5. How does Gerasim’s acceptance of death in Part I complement Viktor Frankl’s idea that death completes life? "It's God's will. We shall all come to it someday." He accepts death as part of life. Like Frankl writes, death complements and fulfills life.
6. How are Peter and Gerasim counterparts to one another? Peter is a coward who lives a life of self-interest and as such is not worthy of suffering. Gerasim is committed to service toward others.
7. How does the opening of Part II complement Viktor Frankl’s main message about choosing meaning? "Ivan Ilych's life had been most simple and most ordinary and therefore most terrible." As Frankl writes, the ordinary life, one of self-interest and the existential vacuum, is a form of hell.
8. In Part II, how is Ivan painted as a man who follows the morality of conformity? What is such a morality? What are its limitations?
9. How does Ivan conform to Pascal’s life of diversion and appearances?
10. How does Ivan couch his infidelity within social acceptance in Part II? How does his handling of the matter paint him as being full of B.S.?
11. With Ivan’s pursuit of power and comfort, how do you define “worldliness”? Playing the sycophant game; be a sycophant and someday have your own sycophants.
12. How is Ivan’s life a heartless life, one that’s all calculation and no heart?
13. Why does Ivan’s wife abruptly become a petulant malcontent and how is this a stereotype of the wife in marriage? In fact, Ivan too is a petulant malcontent. They hate each other because they use each others as commodities for achieving their vanity.
14. Why does Ivan try to create an existence outside of his family life and how does this support the contention made at the beginning of Part II?
15. How and why does Ivan’s marriage become a bottomless cesspool of arguments and incriminations? In other words, his marriage has become a hell from which he cannot escape except from work and adultery. Apparently, Tolstoy saw this as the common condition.
16. How does Ivan’s sense of power compensate for his impotent home life?
17. Is it possible that the stress in his marriage killed him? Broke down his immune system? Explain.
Essay 4: In a 6-page research paper, analyze the life of Ivan Ilyich in the context of Man’s Search for Meaning
Sample Thesis
Ivan Ilyich suffers from the existential vacuum as described by VK evidenced by _______________, _______________, ___________________, and ___________________.
Introduction: Describe the existential vacuum.
Ivan Ilyich is dead because he doesn't own his life.
What does it mean to live a correct and proper life, the kind that Ivan lived?
1. It means to "play the game."
What does it mean to "play the game"?
Ivan Played the Game and Took Orders from the Assumed Consensus
Playing the game means the following:
1. Conforming to the established ideals of what is assumed to be the most desirable life as dictated by the assumed consensus, the conventions that we learn to believe are the "thing to do."
Examples
Getting married, having children, buying a new car every 3 years, buying a house, taking your children to gymnastics class, etc. This becomes a vicious cycle: The more you conform and get positive feedback, the more you want to conform, so that you become something that isn't necessarily you. You often lose yourself.
Non-thinking people obey the assumed consensus, which upon close inspection DOES NOT EXIST.
"Why are you in this line for the movie?"
"Because they said that's where the line is."
No one knows who they is, but everyone assumes there is a they. THERE IS NO THEY.
But cultural pressures to be thin, or to wear a certain fashion label or to drive a certain car are driven by the INVISIBLE THEY, the assumed consensus.
The assumed consensus is often wrong. When we bow down to the consensus, we're guilty of groupthink, sacificing our critical thinking skills to obey those in power or the majority.
All trends and false beliefs come from the Assumed Consensus, which often goes unquestioned in the form of Groupthink.
We often laugh at jokes that aren't funny because we assume we're supposed to laugh at them.
Music, fashion, TV shows, film, even our college major are often determined by the Assumed Consensus.
There was an ugly time in American history when the Assumed Consensus, the majority, gave moral justification to slavery, which was a convention supported by the Assumed Consensus of its time.
Other Examples:
4-winged butterfly,
low-fat diet, vegetarian and vegan diet,
taking vitamins,
DDT,
Nuke drills,
airport security scanners vs. being pat down
2. Another part of living the "correct" life is living a life devoted to impressing the Assumed Consensus. We call this impulse vanity and it results in spiritual death, thus the title The Death of Ivan Ilyich.
3. Wearing a mask of politeness and decorum in order to establish alliances to propel your ambition. The Assumed Consensus admires this mask and ambition.
4. Maintaining your reputation in the community.
Most people do not own their lives because they live in accordance with the Assumed Consensus, AKA, in its most deragatory word construction, AssCon.
Ivan Ilyich's spiritual death resulted from basing his entire life on AssCon, the Assumed Consensus. He was conned and he made an ass of himself. Over 90 percent of the human race are beholden to AssCon and have no Third Eye to question it.
Personal Example
I recently made an ass of myself for conforming to the Assumed Consensus. I bought a refrigerator with the ice-making function that I didn't need. Now I have a noisy fridge and when you include the plumbing costs for a new water line I overspent by $900.
The Assumed Consensus Kills You by a Thousand Small Cuts
You need an ice fridge
You need a smart phone, unlimited texting, movies, wireless Interent, etc.
gym membership (often not used)
You need a Kindle Fire
You need a iPad
You need a new car every 3 or 4 years
You need cable with all the premium channels
You need to buy all your family and friends presents during the holidays
You need all those Internet subscriptions and one-day sales
Before you know it, you're a slave to financial debt over things you don't need because you slowly became beholden to the "rules" of the Assumed Consensus
A Failed Life (Ivan's)
Living a proper and correct life, that is playing the game and conforming to the dictates of the Assumed Consensus, and taking the game too seriously so that the game becomes your ENTIRE LIFE.
A Successful Life Means Owning Yourself
Owning yourself: This means you play the game (because to a certain degree you know you have to) but you know the game is a joke. Therefore, you don't base your identity on playing the game.
The wise man plays the game and knows it's a game. In contrast, the fool plays the game lets the game take over his whole life, resulting in a life of vanity, narcissism, egotism, solipsism, and loneliness.
The fool is blind to his vanity, his vain motivations, which make him compulsive. He is the opposite of self-possessed.
Types of People Who Own Themselves
Misfits, the persectuted, outcasts, people who were bullied in high school.
They never enjoyed approval from the assumed consensus so they had to create themselves and in essence own themselves.
Lexicon
1. "proper" or "correct" life: The facade we build based on others' expectations of success and happiness that always cuts a wedge between our inner life and our outer life. The more we commit to the "proper" life, the greater our self-betrayal and eventual self-destruction.
2. Provisional self-interest: selfishness based on a futile attempt to compensate for a failed inner life by committing with all our desperation to the "proper" life.
3. schadenfreude: The disgusting and perverse pleasure we experience when we see others fail or suffer humilation, rejection, or some other setback. Schadenfreude attests to our Darwinian hard-wiring, which compels us to see others as competitition suitable to be destroyed as we dominate Planet Earth.
4. Immortal Hypnosis Disorder: The majority of the world sleep-walks under the cloud of IHD, a denial of death so engrained that we don't even know we're in denial.
The Assumed Consensus reinforces this denial. "It's impolite to bring up death, our mortality."
We commit our entire lives to reinforcing this denial and become hostile and fearful when anyone compromises our condition of IHD. Even a person getting cancer is threatening our IHD and as a result we resent the sick and the dying.
5. Sycophantic decorum as dictated by the Assumed Consensus: The kind of BS and butt-kissing that becomes so common that we take it for granted as the way we have to be in order to ascend the social and professional ladder. In turn, if we should reach a high position, we expect our underlings to kiss our butts with the same commitment we used when we were butt-kissers.
6. Petulant malcontent: A whiner who sees the world as owing him pleasure while this parasitic whiner does not have any plans on giving back ANYTHING to the world from which he expects everything.
7. Intractable Marital Hostility Immune Disorder: When the husband and wife learn over time to hate each other and only relate to each other as enemies causing so much constant stress that they slowly kill each other by breaking down the other's immune system. This is why Ivan Ilych came down with cancer and died. His marriage was a hell that compromised his immune system.
8. Existential Vacuum: We are born to crave meaning as our ultimate goal. When we lack meaning, we experience the existential vacuum: We become anxious, desperate, and too often compelled to fill the void with misguided obsessions, goals, chimeras, mirages, distractions, and false panaceas.
These misguided passions can be broken down into 4 overlapping categories.
One: hedonism, the pursuit of pleasure as the highest good. Hedonism always fails us because we acclimate to pleasure so that more and more of the stimulus is required to activate our pleasure sensors. When we become more and more sensitized and numb to pleasure stimulus, we experience the "hedonic treadmill."
Two. Darwinian Dominance, the pursuit of power as the highest good.
Three. Libido Ostentandi, the preoccupation with creating a facade that makes others convinced we are happy and good and successful so that we can, by watching others' admire us, fool ourselves into believing we are happy and good and successful.
Four. Reckless nihilism, the pursuit of addiction-induced oblivion and mindlessness to take away the agony from languishing through a life without meaning.
9. Frankl's Ultimatum: Either live a life of service to others and be worthy of your suffering or live a futile, lonely existence in which you are committed to the feeble pursuit of satisfying your pleasures, your appetites, and your vanity.
10. Short Version of Frankl's Ultimatum: Either be worthy of your suffering by committing yourself to a purposeful life of service to others or act as if life is about consuming your selfish pleasures.
11. Ache, the adult realization that you are not Number One in the universe and the understanding that your desires will always outstrip your capacity to satisfy them. Recognizing Ache is the first step to becoming an adult and developing a viable orientation to the world, an orientation based on meaning.
12. Mutual Marital Commodification: Ivan Ilyich and his wife Praskovya Fedorovna hate each other because the foundation of the marriage is based on MMC: Deep down they know they don't love each other as human beings. Rather, they use each other as commodities. Thus the very foundation of their marriage is based on mutual disrespect.
And what are they using each other for as commodities? Trophies essentially or to refer to an earlier lexicon term, they use each other to achieve the libido ostentandi.
McMahon's Thesis
What is really Ivan's "death"? It is spiritual in nature and results from his slavish devotion to conforming to the Assumed Consensus evidenced by ____________, ___________, ____________, and ______________.
Ivan Ilyich never owned his life, as McMahon likes to say, which translates into a life without meaning, a life doomed to languish in the existential vacuum, evidenced by ____________, ________________, ______________, and ________________.
In a 5-page essay, contrast helplessness and its resulting recurring cycle of futility with the Third Eye and its resulting effective action in at least 2 of the stories. Use personal interviews to give further depth to your contrast of helplessness and the Third Eye. Your sixth page, your Works Cited page, should have my blog, the book, and your personal interview.
Suggested Structure
Paragraph 1: Define learned helplessness and Third Eye
Paragraph 2: Give examples of both from your own experience, personal interview, movie, book, story, etc.
Paragraph 3: Transition to a thesis about learned helplessness and Third Eye as they pertain to Ha Jin's stories.
Paragraphs 4-6: Body paragraphs devoted to learned helplessness (block form)
Paragraphs 7-9: Body paragraphs devoted to Third Eye
All Thesis Statements Should be Constructed as a Debatable Claim or Argumentative Thesis
America's "War on Drugs" is a phony war that strengthens the military and prison industry while stripping Americans of basic freedoms.
These claims go under four different categories:
One. Claims about solutions or policies: The claim argues for a certain solution or policy change:
America's War on Drugs should be abolished and replaced with drug rehab.
Two. Claims of cause and effect: These claims argue that a person, thing, policy or event caused another event or thing to occur.
Social media has turned our generation into a bunch of narcissistic solipsists with limited attention spans, an inflated sense of self-importance, and a shrinking degree of empathy.
Three. Claims of value: These claims argue how important something is on the Importance Scale and determine its proportion to other things.
Global warming poses a far greater threat to our safety than does terrorism.
Four. Claims of definition. These claims argue that we must re-define a common and inaccurate assumption.
In America the notion of "self-esteem," so commonly taught in schools, is in reality a cult of narcissism. While real self-esteem teaches self-confidence, discipline, and accountability, the fake American brand of self-esteem is about celebrating the low expectations of mediocrity, and this results in narcissism, vanity, and sloth.
Your essay is a claim of cause and effect or extended definition as they pertain to learned helplessness and metacognition.
Causes of Learned Helplessness
Cause One: Your interior thoughts create a self-fulfulling prophecy loop:
You believe a negative outcome will happen; the negative outcome occurs and you now are convinced of your "prophetic powers."
"She's going to leave me." A guy calls his girlfriend every ten minutes and asks, "Are you leaving me?" What does the girlfriend do sooner than later? She leaves him of course. So now the ex-boyfriend tells himself, "I knew it!"
"I'm not attractive enough. No one will ever love me."
"I'm going to fail."
"I'm too damn scared to do this properly."
"Tonight at the Senior Prom I'm sure I'll have a horrible time and make an ass of myself."
Eighty percent of the characters in Ha Jin's stories are trapped in this loop.
How do you free yourself from the self-fulfilling prophecy loop?
You need metacognition or the Third Eye; otherwise, you won't even know you're trapped in the loop.
You need successful experiences to contradict the "failures" that live inside your head.
Cause Two: Narcissistic Self-Pity
The grief and self-pity you feel over your perceived learned helplessness convince you that your suffering is deeper than everyone else's and this belief that you are a Special Victim of Intense Suffering makes you feel, in a perverse way, superior to everyone else. Therefore, your learned helplessness is a form of egotism and narcissism.
Again, you need the Third Eye to see how narcissistic you've become.
Cause Three: Beholden to the Lie That Manipulation Is an Easier Life
Recall the nurse at Little Company of Mary who told me the "loser nurses" exert more energy manipulating others and convincing others that they are helpless so that the good nurses will do their work for them. We learn from this anecdote that it's easier for us to do our job than it is to manipulate others into doing our responsibilities.
Cause Four: Mindless Habits
Brian Wansink studies obesity and found that people who are in the habit of mindlessly eating in front of the TV and computer screen are more susceptible to gaining weight than to those who don't.
In other words, learned helplessness reinforces itself through repitition. The more we behave in a helpless fashion, the more helpless we become.
"The House Behind a Weeping Cherry" (195)
1. How are the main characters prisoners living inside a prison? 197; also the juxtaposition of the garment shop with brothel. See 212. They come to America for freedom, but find themselves slaves to debtors, blood-suckers, predators. They are indeed prisoners seeking heaven in their American hell. These short stories were written in the 1990s when China's economy wasn't the powerhouse it is today.
Part of their personal hell isn't merely economic however. It's also their own complacency with set routine (of course owing the Mafia is part of it too).
2. How does the story deal with appearances and reality? Think glamorous exotica and meretricious malaise. See 198, 201 America is an alluring chimera, a prostitute, if you will, attracting people from all over the world, who come here only to be enslaved. In both stories, America is a sort of character, a Trickster, that takes the other characters up and down the different emotions of promise and crushing disappointment.
3. What is Wanping’s rite of passage on page 208? He expels one of the unruly clients out of the house and establishes his power, authority, and loyalty. A rite of passage is a way of initiating into a group, a way of proving one's worthiness of the group, a way of proving one's fidelity, loyalty, and strength for the sake of the group.
4. What does Wanping realize about his life on page 209 when he catches the flu? He needs what? Also see 210. He needs warmth, love, affection, companionship. He's been living in total darkness and an arctic freeze. A taste of tenderness awakens him from his blindness. He can't go back.
5. Defend or refute the choice at the end of the story. It seems like the first step in fighting the enemy and the enemy within, learned helplessness.
“A Good Fall” (221)
1. Compare the theme of imprisonment in “A Good Fall” with “The House Behind a Weeping Cherry.” Two characters who suffer from learned helplessness. And in both cases identify the Third Eye that frees them. For Ganchin, the fall brings him to his Third Eye. So does his girlfriend.
2. How is the story a re-telling of David and Goliath?
3. What details paint Master Zong as the quintessential hypocrite? 222
4. Why do you think Master Zong feels compelled to fire Ganchin?
5. What evidence is there that Cindy has affection for Ganchin and that he is too naïve and blind to be aware of such enticing affection? Yes, he is aware that she is fond of him but does he know HOW fond she is of him?
6. How is Ganchin’s identity as a monk a hurdle for him in the story? In other words, how does his being a monk create internal conflict? (Is the hacking cough a metaphor of Ganchin dying to his old self?) Being a monk has become for him about self-denial and self-limits; also it has been a source of a martyr complex, which makes him an intractable or perpetual victim.
7. How is the theme of learned helplessness common throughout this story and other stories in the collection? 225, 231 Time and time again, Ganchin convinces himself that he is helpless and believing he is, he becomes in fact helpless, like Huong and her co-workers in a previous story. Learned helplessness is a form of blindness.
8. Ganchin says he’s been pushed to the edge of a cliff on page 229. How does this pertain to the story’s title? What does the title mean? He needs to let go of his old self, his old life and fall, die to his old self and become someone new in America.
9. How is Ganchin’s robe a metaphor on page 234?
10. What is the public’s reaction to Ganchin’s suicide?
11. What lesson is Ganchin slowly learning at the story’s end?
Review Learned Helplessness
In "The Beauty"
It is evidenced by Dan's frustration over his perpetual lack of connection with his wife, Dan's irrational, psychotic jealousy, and Dan's confusion over the disparity between his wife's beauty and his daughter's lack of beauty (he says she's ugly).
It is evidenced by the inability to accept reality, however harsh; premonition of bad events in the future, which become fulfilled from negative attitude resulting in reinforced paranoia; and an incapacity to strive for a better life due to the mindless habits of repeated failure.
We've been talking about the existence of freedom (brought about by The Third Eye) or its absence in the form of mental imprisonment (determinism) in the stories by Ha Jin and how our essay must address this conflict.
One threat to free will is a mental condition called learned helplessness.
Learned Helplessness in "A Good Fall"
Learned helplessness is a disease in which you close your heart and mind to your strong self and settle for your weak self resulting in shame, which reinforces your identity with your weak self, resulting in more shame, and so on.
You exercise your strong and weak selves like muscles getting them stronger and stronger depending on which one you exercise more.
When you do your homework or any discipline you have your strong voice telling you to focus and your weak voice telling you to take a break, a nap, an internet check on your social media, etc.
Learned helplessness is a vicious cycle. The more you become helpless, the more you become ashamed; the more you become ashamed, the more you feel helpless and so on and so on.
Here's another definition of learned helplessness:
Learned helplessness is the paralysis that results when you convince yourself that you are helpless to overcome a predicament when in fact, objectively speaking, you have the means to solve your problem. For example, the baby elephant grows up chained to a pole and its owner eventually removes the chain but the elephant, as an adult, never leaves the pole because he’s convinced that he’s chained to it.
Once we sink into learned helplessness, can we change?
You can't change unless you recognize you're in a vicious cycle and feel motivated to change.
You can't feel motivated to change unless you feel genuine shame, the kind that comes from you, not from others, and have a vision of a stronger self to aspire to.
There are two kinds of shame, Real Shame and BS Shame.
There is genuine self-induced shame, which leads to positive change.
Example: A man stops eating the leftovers for lunch because his children who are napping need to eat some. If he eats all the food, he will feel ashamed, so he stops.
But what about the husband who stops, not because of his own shame, but the shame of getting caught by his wife?
We can call this type of shame BS shame, the kind in which you're ashamed you "got caught." You're more interested in your image than your "content."
Kids will behave nicely at other families' homes but be brats at their own home, for example.
A husband will be nice and mature around his wife when other couples are around but be a fussy bully child in their absence.
He's ashamed to be seen as a jerk to others but not himself.
Real shame for our lives as helpless victims is the only way to change. I don't know if this change is the result of a choice or not.
Can we choose to experience real shame? What about the people who gorge at HomeTown Buffet?
We have to feel ashamed of our helpless state and motivated to change, but I don't know how we reach that point.
Examples of Failed and Successful Thesis Statements
A Failed Thesis That Is Too General Or Obvious: Examples:
The characters in Ha Jin's short story collection suffer from blindness and therefore they are not free.
The characters need to see reality for what it truly is.
The characters in Ha Jin's stories are usually well-intentioned but desparate for change.
Better, More Specific Thesis Statements:
The intersection of Chinese traditional culture and American post-modern culture afflict the characters with a tension between American freedom and Chinese restraint evidenced by _______________, ____________, ________________, and ________________.
No matter how "free" America may be, learned helplessness impedes the characters of Ha Jin's short story collection from ever being free until they can _____________, _____________, ______________, and _____________.
Ha Jin's stories masterfully render the dangers of learned helplessness, which include ________, _________, _________, __________, and __________.
Review Theme As It Pertains to Your Essay
For your essay you must develop a thesis, perhaps an argument, about the topic of freedom as it pertains to Ha Jin's stories.
McMahon argues, in part, that freedom is an illusion. We are in fact motivated by things we cannot control such as fear, vanity, disgust, hunger for social status, the desire to be superior to others, greed, avoiding family shame and rejection, desire to please others, desire to conform to culture and/or family.
Now if you don't have the above motivations, what happens to you? You become lazy. You have no motivation.
McMahon has a problem. His list of motivations is only only bad motivations. Did McMahon have an agenda? Yes, McMahon was being dishonest. He was hiding good motivations in order to support an argument and to persuade you to "his side."
In reality, however, McMahon was tricking you, showing you how easily you can be manipulated and deceived.
What does McMahon really believe? Ninety-nine percent of us have no freedom. We are indeed driven by the above stated motivations.
However, if you look at history's heroes like Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, what you'll find is that success, meaning, courage, nobility, heroism can be found without being slaves to our lower passions. A few people are free and they always want to free the rest of us. However, the overwhelming majority of us, including most of the characters in Ha Jin's short story collection, are not free. They are slaves to irrational fear, desire, and incurable delusions evidenced by ________________, _________________, _______________, ________________, and __________________. In contrast, the Third Eye is evident in the stories ___________evidenced by __________, _____________, and _____________.
Very few people enjoy freedom in Ha Jin's stories. With one or two exceptions, they suffer from the prison of learned helplessness evidenced by ___________, ______________, _______________, and _______________. Only the stories _______show the hope of freedom evidenced by _________, _____________, and ________________.
Sample 2-Part Thesis Template for Essay Assignment
The darkest stories in Ha Jin's collection render characters crippled by learned helplessness evidenced by ___________, ___________, _____________, and _________________. In contrast, those characters who experience freedom possess The Third Eye evidenced by ___________, ____________, ______________, ______________, and _________________.
The darkest stories in Ha Jin's collection, including ____________, ________________, and ________________ render characters imprisoned by learned helplessness evidenced by _________________, _______________, and _________________. In contrast, the more optimistic stories, including ______________and _____________, show characters who enjoy signficant freedom as a result of The Third Eye evidenced by ____________, ______________, and _________________
See Literary Devices in Pop Culture
Causes of learned helplessness (Review)
One. Denial of being in a condition of learned helplessness. Does Wanping have to work as a lowly garment slave without any love in his life? Or is this a choice he makes? He says his job is like a prostitute's because he is "selling himself."
Two. Playing the life of a victim until you sincerely believe you are a victim. I had a student whose fiance left her 3 days before the wedding and she was pregnant. She never dated again. She was "protecting" herself but in reality she destroyed herself, killing an important part of who she was.
Three. We prefer the devil we know more than the devil we don't know (change). Wanping is not ignorant about his horrible job but he is ignorant when it comes to looking at better alternatives. So is Ganchin.
We can call Number 3 "The Adam 12 Effect": We prefer the pain of helplessness to the terror and suffering of change.
Four. We become dependent on people helping us because we're so helpless: We learn to enjoy the self-pity of believing that we're helpless more than the enjoyment that results from growing stronger. Here's the irony that we'll repeat later: We have to work hard for people to pity us and take care of us MORE THAN DOING THE WORK OURSELVES AND MORE THAN BEING RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR OWN LIVES. I received this wisdom from a student, a male nurse, who described some dead weight nurses he worked with.
Five. We love the attention of being helpless. Learned helplessness is the identity of the helpless victim. This identity is a form of self-pity, egotism and in worst cases narcissism because you expect everyone to stop and focus their attention on your needs, your helplessness, your victimhood, which you use as a banner of glory and entitlement.
Six. Self-Reinforcement Or Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
You have inculcated (taught through endless repitition) yourself with the belief of your helplessness so that your condition becomes true, but this truth isn't the result of the real world; rather, it's the result of your interior world: what's inside your head.
Seven. Solipsism
When you live only inside your head without being connected to the real world you suffer from a mental disease called solipsism.
A skinny anorexic who thinks she's fat suffers from solipsism.
An obnoxious, arrogant charlatan who thinks he's a gift to the world suffers from solipsism.
An able person who doesn't look for work or try to excel in life suffers from solipsism.
Eight. Vindication
How does this happen? A sense of helplessness or futility becomes your identity.
Second, because failure is your identity, you compulsively invest enormous amounts of time and energy in your identity of futility and failure and you reach a point in which you NEED your life to be a failure.
Why? Because then you're proven right. To be proven right is to enjoy something called vindication.
And vindication feeds the ego.
Of course, this whole cycle of invested failure and vindication exists inside your head.
Nine. Learned Helplessness Is Addictive Because It's All About You
It promises victimization, which makes you think others will make decisions for you and perform your hard work.
The irony is that to play the role of helpless victim, you have to constantly manufacture so much BS you actually do MORE work than if you would not be a victim and simply be your responsible self.
To play the victim is to live a selfish existence, which means you live as if your life is yours and yours alone. This is a lie and a delusion.
The comedian Louis C.K. says in one of his TV episodes in which he is trying to talk a friend out of committing suicide: "Your life isn't yours. It's bigger than that. It belongs to your friend, your family, the community, to the world."
Ten. Getting Lost Inside Your Head
Your interior thoughts are full of fiction, fantasy, exaggeration, delusion on such a grand scheme that living inside your head is like getting lost in a mansion with many rooms and eventually falling down a spiral staircase from which there is no bottom. We call this madness.
To get out of your head, you need something that Jerry Seinfeld calls "The Third Eye," the ability to detach from yourself and watch with a certain objectivity your thoughts and actions.
Psychologists call The Third Eye something else: metacognition. Another way of defining this: You think about thinking.
This is a technique discussed at some length in a best-selling book The Power of Now (I've read it; its teachings seem to be derived from Eastern religions).
Examples of "living inside your head" without the Third Eye to stop you:
You obsess over a girl whom you're angry at because she's "ignoring" you or she's "cheating" on you when in reality this woman doesn't even know you. Your "relationship" with her is all in your head.
You obsess with worry over a speech you have to give in a college class and while obsessing you become paralyzed with breathless terror so that you almost die of a heart attack just before you go onto the stage. This near death reinforces your fear of public speaking.
You teach yourself, like Ganchin, that your fate is suffering, to be poor and to be exploited by your employees because you don't know anything else.
Symptoms of Learned Helplessness
A lack of belonging and feeling marginalized to the point of feeling like a “misfit.”
A habit of repeated failure that reinforces your feelings of impotence.
A defeatist, pessimistic attitude that creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. "No one is going to go out with me to the Senior Ball. No one is going to like me. You watch."
Defining yourself as a victim and making yourself dependent on others.
An unconscious determination to fail because you’re afraid of success, which will force you to grow up and assume adult responsibilities.
A determination to see yourself as a tragic figure who has no control of what happens to you.
A fearfulness of life that compels you to hide in the psychological womb of self-pity.
You're a contradiction: Stupid enough to be weak but smart enough to manipulate others to bail you out every time.
Even when you know the right steps and can do something on your own, you wear out people so that they carry your weight up the mountain. They decide it’s easy to carry you on their shoulders than it is to help you because you resist being helped.
You procrastinate long enough so that you always need an excuse or an extension, reinforcing your self-image as a flake, a slouch, and lazy bum.
You create drama and crises out of nothing and enjoy watching other people put your fires out.
Major Causes of Learned Helplessness
One. Self-Reinforcement
You have inculcated (taught through endless repitition) yourself with the belief of your helplessness so that your condition becomes true, but this truth isn't the result of the real world; rather, it's the result of your interior world: what's inside your head.
Two. Solipsism
When you live only inside your head without being connected to the real world you suffer from a mental disease called solipsism.
A skinny anorexic who thinks she's fat suffers from solipsism.
An obnoxious, arrogant charlatan who thinks he's a gift to the world suffers from solipsism.
An able person who doesn't look for work or try to excel in life suffers from solipsism.
Three. Helplessness, futility, a sense of failure all become addictive.
How does this happen? A sense of helplessness or futility becomes your identity.
Second, because failure is your identity, you compulsively invest enormous amounts of time and energy in your identity of futility and failure and you reach a point in which you NEED your life to be a failure.
Why? Because then you're proven right. To be proven right is to enjoy something called vindication.
And vindication feeds the ego.
Of course, this whole cycle of invested failure and vindication exists inside your head.
Four. Learned Helplessness Is Seductive
It promises victimization, which makes you think others will make decisions for you and perform your hard work.
The irony is that to play the role of helpless victim, you have to constantly manufacture so much BS you actually do MORE work than if you would not be a victim and simply be your responsible self.
To play the victim is to live a selfish existence, which means you live as if your life is yours and yours alone. This is a lie and a delusion.
The comedian Louis C.K. says in one of his TV episodes in which he is trying to talk a friend out of committing suicide: "Your life isn't yours. It's bigger than that. It belongs to your friend, your family, the community, to the world."
Five. Getting Lost Inside Your Head
Your interior thoughts are full of fiction, fantasy, exaggeration, delusion on such a grand scheme that living inside your head is like getting lost in a mansion with many rooms and eventually falling down a spiral staircase from which there is no bottom. We call this madness.
To get out of your head, you need something that Jerry Seinfeld calls "The Third Eye," the ability to detach from yourself and watch with a certain objectivity your thoughts and actions.
Psychologists call The Third Eye something else: metacognition. Another way of defining this: You think about thinking.
This is a technique discussed at some length in a best-selling book The Power of Now (I've read it; its teachings seem to be derived from Eastern religions).
Examples of "living inside your head" without the Third Eye to stop you:
You obsess over a girl whom you're angry at because she's "ignoring" you or she's "cheating" on you when in reality this woman doesn't even know you. Your "relationship" with her is all in your head.
You obsess with worry over a speech you have to give in a college class and while obsessing you become paralyzed with breathless terror so that you almost die of a heart attack just before you go onto the stage. This near death reinforces your fear of public speaking.
You teach yourself, like Ganchin, that your fate is suffering, to be poor and to be exploited by your employees because you don't know anything else.
Your interior thoughts create a self-fulfilling prophecy loop:
You believe a negative outcome will happen; the negative outcome occurs and you now are convinced of your "prophetic powers."
"She's going to leave me."
"I'm not attractive enough. No one will ever love me."
"I'm going to fail."
"I'm too damn scared to do this properly."
"Tonight at the Senior Prom I'm sure I'll have a horrible time and make an ass of myself."
How do you free yourself from the self-fulfilling prophecy loop?
You need the Third Eye; otherwise, you won't even know you're trapped in the loop.
You need successful experiences to contradict the "failures" that live inside your head.
The second cause of learned helplessness:
The grief and self-pity you feel over your perceived learned helplessness convince you that your suffering is deeper than everyone else's and this belief that you are a Special Victim of Intense Suffering makes you feel, in a perverse way, superior to everyone else. Therefore, your learned helplessness is a form of egotism and narcissism.
Again, you need the Third Eye to see how narcissistic you've become.
McMahon Grammar Lesson: Comma Rules (based in part by Diana Hacker’s Rules for Writers)
Commas are designed to help writers avoid confusing sentences and to clarify the logic of their sentences.
If you cook Jeff will clean the dishes. (Will you cook Jeff?)
While we were eating a rattlesnake approached us. (Were we eating a rattlesnake?)
Comma Rule 1: Use a comma before a coordinating conjunction (FANBOYS) joining two independent clauses.
Rattlesnakes are high in protein, but I’d rather eat a peanut butter sandwich.
Rattlesnakes are dangerous, and the desert species are even more so.
We are a proud people, for our ancestors passed down these famous delicacies over a period of five thousand years.
The exception to rule 1 is when the two independent clauses are short:
The plane took off and we were on our way.
Comma Rule 2: Use a comma after an introductory clause or phrase.
When Jeff Henderson was in prison, he developed an appetite for reading.
In the nearby room, the TV is blaring full blast.
Tanning in the hot Hermosa Beach sun for over two hours, I realized I had better call it a day.
The exception is when the short adverb clause or phrase is short and doesn’t create the possibility of a misreading:
In no time we were at 2,800 feet.
Comma Rule 3: Use a comma between all items in a series.
Jeff Henderson found redemption through hard work, self-reinvention, and social altruism.
Finding his passion, mastering his craft, and giving back to the community were all part of Jeff Henderson’s self-reinvention.
Comma Rule 4: Use a comma between coordinate adjectives not joined with “and.” Do not use a comma between cumulative adjectives.
The adjectives below are called coordinate because they modify the noun separately:
Jeff Henderson is a passionate, articulate, wise speaker.
The adjectives above are coordinate because they can be joined with “and.” Jeff Henderson is passionate and articulate and wise.
Adjectives that do not modify the noun separately are cumulative.
Three large gray shapes moved slowly toward us.
Chocolate fudge peanut butter swirl coconut cake is divine.
Comma Rule 5: Use commas to set off nonrestrictive (nonessential) elements.
Restrictive or essential information doesn’t have a comma:
For school the students need notebooks that are college-ruled.
Jeff’s cat that just had kittens became very aggressive.
Nonrestrictive:
For school the students need college-ruled notebooks, which are on sale at the bookstore.
Jeff Henderson’s mansion, which is located in Las Vegas, has a state-of-the-art kitchen.
My youngest sister, who plays left wing on the soccer team, now lives at The Sands, a beach house near Los Angeles.
Comma Rule 6: Use commas to set off transitional and parenthetical expressions, absolute phrases, and elements expressing contrast. (For the most part, we’re referring to conjunctive adverbs such as however, as a matter of fact, in contrast, in other words, etc.)
As a matter of fact, Jeff Henderson found life after prison even more difficult than life in prison.
Jeff Henderson struggled in prison. However, his life after prison proved even more excruciating.
Life after prison for Henderson was a constant grind; kitchen sabotage from hateful co-workers, for example, was commonplace.
Jeff Henderson, as far as we know, climbed the restaurant ladder without the help of special connections.
Jeff Henderson served 500 dishes a night, give or take a dozen.
Jeff Henderson appearing outside his restaurant for the first time in a week, we were able to get a good photograph of him.
After climbing the restaurant ladder, Jeff Henderson sought spiritual, not material, success.
Comma Rule 7: Use commas to set off nouns of direct address, the words yes and no, and mild interjections.
“Mom, please pass me the potato chips.”
“Will you please pass the potato chips, Mom?”
Yes, Jeff Henderson was a man who needed to give back to his community to feel fulfilled.
Jeff Henderson’s book was a compelling read, wasn’t it?
Well, I for one read Henderson’s book over a period of two days.
Comma Rule 8: Use commas with expressions such as he said and other signal phrases to set off direct quotations.
Naturalist Arthur Cleveland Brent remarked, “In part the peregrine declined unnoticed because it is not adorable.”
“Convictions are more dangerous foes of truth than lies,” wrote Friedrich Nietzsche.
Comma Rule 9: Use commas with dates, addresses, titles, and numbers.
On August 14, 2014, the second summer session will have come to an end.
However, we have an exception to the date rule if the date is inverted or if only the month and year are given.
The second summer session ends on 14 August 2014.
August 2014 is the first month of the Fall Semester.
John Lennon was born in Liverpool, England, in 1940.
Please send the package to Greg Tarvin at 708 Spring Street, Washington, IL 61571.
Sandra Belinsky, MD, has been appointed to the board.
3,500 100,000, 5,000,000
Comma Rule 10: Use a comma to prevent confusion.
To err is human; to forgive, divine. (Writer omitted verb is)
All of the crises Jeff Henderson feared might happen, happened.
Students who can, stand up and do a hundred jumping jacks before we do our comma rule lecture.
Find comma rules in these passages:
It was already ninety minutes past his normal lunchtime when Merrickel T. Pettibone reached for the party tray featuring a dazzling display of assorted “stoneground” crackers and dips made of pesto, spinach, olives, chives, and cream cheese. He had almost decided on a cracker when he recoiled because he thought, perhaps mistakenly, that the caterer, a fortyish woman in khaki safari shorts, yellow spaghetti-strap tank top, and a mannish face half covered with dark straight bangs had slapped his hand. Loud enough so the other partygoers inside the kitchen could hear her scolding, she told Merrickel that the appetizers would not be served for another two hours because she was still in “prep mode” and he needed to leave her work space.
He was chastened by the caterer’s admonishment on the one hand, but on the other he was irate that the birthday party, which started at one P.M., wasn’t serving appetizers until three. The time disparity struck him as perplexing and trying to wrap his brain around this gap only served to make him hungrier, and suddenly he was annoyed with his wife Aubrey for telling him to skip lunch so he could save his appetite for the party.
Apologizing to the caterer for his impropriety, he then navigated his stout physique (his doctor told him to lose thirty pounds) with the surprising nimbleness of a ballerina through a crowd of people, first in the living room and then in the backyard, and noticed with some resentment that most of the visitors were contentedly drinking beverages, some alcoholic, in the absence of any food. The thought of drinking on an empty stomach made him lightheaded and nauseous.
He found Aubrey in the back patio deck talking to her twenty-two-year-old cousin Madison, a nanny from San Francisco, about childrearing, a subject he, the father of twin four-year-olds, found tedious. He said, “The appetizers are under lock and key for another ninety minutes so I have taken it upon myself to go to a nearby store and purchase some snacks.”
His wife and cousin had long ago taught themselves to tune out Merrickel’s frequent interruptions, so they continued their conversation as if he weren’t there at all. He inferred their indifference was a green light for him to exit the premises and buy something to sustain him till the appetizers were served. Before leaving, he observed his two daughters Diana and Rigley playing on a jungle gym with their older cousins, evidencing they were in good hands, and he was now fully satisfied he could briefly disappear from the birthday party and buy some snacks without suffering his wife’s castigation.
He drove to the nearby Bazaar Club, one of those giant warehouse markets where an annual membership gives you “club privileges” to load an SUV full of provisions, clothes, and appliances that you can hoard inside your suburban cave as if hunkering down for the Apocalypse. He went on the hunt for some multigrain chips and hummus. At the aisle where there were freshly bagged whole coffee beans stacked to the ceiling like towering, magical bean stalks, a gaunt man with an old-fashioned, shiny, black mustachio, a red three-piece velveteen suit, and a cheap oversized fake gold watch was giving out free samples of spicy multigrain chips, “all organic with quinoa, brown rice, pumpkin seeds, chia seeds, lentils, and amaranth.” A heavy woman with damp hair and a shapeless dress observing the “healthy” chips with a doubtful expression asked the salesman, “What the hell is amaranth?” upon which the mustachioed man was gleeful to explain that it is a “healthy, high-protein ancient grain once enjoyed by the pre-Columbian Aztecs until it was almost wiped out by the Spanish conquistadors.”
Merrickel espied the chips with a force of lust that almost made him blush and he took a sample plastic cup that held exactly three tannish red chips before biting into one and hearing the satisfying crackle. The strong kick of chili, curry, and cumin exhilarated him in a manner that caused his nose to twitch like a rabbit’s. Observing the beaming expression of the mustachioed man, Merrickel grabbed five bags of the multigrain chips and three nearby tubs of hummus before paying with the other embattled customers jockeying for position at the registers.
When he returned to the party, he placed the tubs of hummus and bags of chips on one of the backyard’s picnic tables and the partygoers descended on the food with the aggression of vultures on a carcass. There was much talk about the chips’ tastiness and everyone asked the hostess, Aunt Barbara, where she had bought the chips. She looked hopelessly at Merrickel who announced to everyone that the chips were not “official party fare” but that he had bought them, without her consent, at Bazaar Club.
After he explained the history of amaranth and the other organic ingredients that made the chips so healthy and savory, the caterer popped out of the rear house entry and scowled at him. Convinced that the dozens of people munching on the chips he purchased were vindication of his good taste, he felt emboldened and he scowled back at the caterer as if to say, “Take that, you little shit.”
Looking at him as if he were a predatory carnivore who had just eviscerated her innards, her bottom lip trembled and her eyes filled with tears before she ran back into the house.
Everyone at the party was now silent. Merrickel looked down at the empty multigrain chip bags and tubs of hummus. He feebly tried to break the tension by announcing that the snacks had proven to be a “great hit” because they were all gone, but his words were like a padded fist slamming against a solid steel wall with a pathetic thunk and the dark cloud he had brought to the party grew only heavier.
Seconds later, the party host Aunt Barbara came out and walked close to Merrickel, putting her face close to his. Barbara had short-cropped silver hair and thin lips. She was a proud woman, a former FBI agent who spent her last ten years working as a security supervisor at a pricey department store before retiring with top honors. She looked at Merrickel sorrowfully and said, “Do you know anything about the life you just ruined?”
That’s rather dramatic, Merrickel thought, but then Barbara explained the caterer Becky. Forty-year-old single mother. Six months ago her abusive husband left her for a younger woman. Her three teenage kids needed dental work their mother couldn’t afford. She was recently laid off at the ports where she struggled with part-time work as a longshoreman. “This job gave her pride and dignity,” Barbara said. “And you took that away from her.”
“I just bought some chips.”
“But we have plenty of food here.”
“Which wasn’t to be served for another two hours after we got to the party. I was feeling faint for God’s sake.”
“Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? You could learn to space two hour intervals between your feedings, Merrickel.”
“I hadn’t eaten since breakfast.”
Hearing the conversation, Merrickel’s wife Aubrey said, “That’s bullshit, Merrickel. You had almonds and blueberries with your second cup of coffee after breakfast. And that’s only what I saw you eat. God knows what else you shoved down your throat while I was giving the girls a bath.”
In fact while his wife was bathing the twins, he had snuck a little snack of two hard-boiled eggs doused with Tabasco sauce followed by an oversized red apple sporting an unsightly bruise. But he remained silent on that matter.
“Merrickel’s eating habits aren’t the issue here,” Barbara said. Turning to him, she continued, “You called Becky a little shit.”
He had never called her that. He had thought it. Or did he indeed say it? He could no longer be sure and his doubts deflated any chances of standing up to the party’s silver-haired matriarch. It was at this point that Merrickel’s wife stepped in. She offered to take over the catering because Becky was, thanks to Merrickel, too demoralized to show her face any more. Aubrey turned to Merrickel and said, “And you’ll watch the kids for the rest of the party.” She knew her husband well enough that having to watch the kids for two full hours was a punishment, a prison sentence of managing what Merrickel called “The Traveling Fusstropolis.” And she added, “When we get home, you’re going to have a time-out.”
He spent his time-outs in the garage where he’d read books, listen to sports talk on the radio, do a kettlebell workout. But this time-out had been announced at a party. It amounted to public humiliation. He found himself too angry and too forlorn this time to do anything. He closed the garage door, turned on the industrial fan full blast and curled up on the floor.
When I assign a B to an essay, I’m assessing that’s it’s a solid, competent essay. It has a clear organizational design and a clear thesis. It’s well supported. It’s documented appropriately.
So why isn’t it assigned an A?
A paper assigned a B, and not A, is determined to be
Let us look at the competent B essay:
It’s not exceptional in that it doesn’t raise the reader’s consciousness with new insights.
It doesn’t sparkle with language and precise and varied word choice.
It doesn’t sparkle with varied sentence structure providing powerful rhythm that serves as a rhetorical device giving “music” to the essay’s meaning.
It doesn’t nudge the reader to see the theme in a fresh, original way.
It doesn’t have memorable moments in its illustrations, analogies, and examples.
Literary Present Tense
Make sure to use the literary present tense when you write essays about literature, short stories, novels, etc.
Make sure to use a variety of signal phrases to introduce quotations and paraphrases.
Grammar Check: Find the 21 Errors in the Following Paragraph
In Ha Jin’s “A Good Fall” is a novel of short stories featuring character’s lives that can be describe as tormented, excruciating, myopic, and, at times lugubrious. Take, for example, A Composer and His Parakeets; which renders a man so emasculated by his manipulative wannabe actress girlfriend that his only intimacy is with a needy bird. Which begs the question: Our the characters in Ha Jin’s story collection two cartoonish to be taken seriously? Although, at times they do descent to maudlin buffoonery and foolishness, but there psychological complexity as they clash with the excesses of American life helps lift “A Good Fall” beyond easy satire, in fact, I will venture to say that Ha Jin’s collection is a masterpiece, it is an exquisite, nuanced picture of Chinese immigrants wrestling with a myriad of America’s most malevolent forces, these include slave labor, prostitution, exploitation of naïve Chinese immigrants, and the cultural constraints that make good people sell themselves short, indeed, for all the humor of these stories; there is an underlying sadness and melancholy that pervade each one.
Essay 2: A Good Fall by Ha Jin, 150 points
In a 5-page essay, contrast helplessness and its resulting recurring cycle of futility with the Third Eye and its resulting effective action in at least 2 of the stories. Use personal interviews to give further depth to your contrast of helplessness and the Third Eye. Your sixth page, your Works Cited page, should have my blog, the book, and your personal interview.
Suggested Structure
Paragraph 1: Define learned helplessness and Third Eye
Paragraph 2: Give examples of both from your own experience, personal interview, movie, book, story, etc.
Paragraph 3: Transition to a thesis about learned helplessness and Third Eye as they pertain to Ha Jin's stories.
Paragraphs 4-6: Body paragraphs devoted to learned helplessness (block form)
Paragraphs 7-9: Body paragraphs devoted to Third Eye
Paragraph 10: Conclusion
Defining Learned Helplessness
Learned helplessness happens to all of us when we become frustrated over and over to the point that we feel we no longer have control over our destiny. We can see this with unemployment in which the unemployed go into a deep depression and in many cases become unemployable.
Ten Characteristics of Learned Helplessness When It Becomes a Pathology (Mental Illness)
One. It's a role we play or a mask we wear that can become disconnected to reality.
Two. Learned helplessness reinforces itself through repitition. The more we behave in a helpless fashion, the more helpless we become.
Three. It is a repeated habit and as such it is mindless, which means it's a very difficult habit to break unless we have the Third Eye.
Four. Learned helplessness can be an expression of narcissism, self-pity, and self-victimization; these emotions can be addicting.
Five. Learned helplessness requires the abnegation of responsibility.
Six. Learned helplessness is a self-fulfulling prophecy.
Seven. Learned helplessness is a self-betrayal in which the energy we manufacture to "be helpless" is greater than doing our responsibilities.
Eight. Learned helplessness causes death bed regret.
Nine. It causes a wasted life, a life squandered on nonsense.
Ten. It makes us a burden to others.
“Choice” (49)
I should say as a preface that while this is not my favorite story, I think it is the BEST story. There is a difference between favorite (the way life should be as in "A Good Fall," my favorite story and the way life really is, "Choice.")
1. Why does the narrator Dave Hong hate his father? 50 His father belittles any aspiration that doesn't entail money and power.
2. Explain the different meanings of the story’s title. David's choices, and Eileen's, and her daughter's.
3. Explain Dave’s sense of dislocation and lack of belonging on page 54. He lives alone, not sure of his choices, wondering if he's doomed to a life of loneliness and destitution.
4. Explain the significance of Old Feng on page 59. He represents Eileen's joyless duties at work, catering to the paranoid needs of an obscure writer. She is someone perhaps too busy to deal with the drama of a young boyfriend who has fun the affections of her daughter.
5. What evidence is there that Sami feels Dave and Eileen’s relationship betrays her recently deceased father? 63 Sami sulks and becomes passive-aggressive when she sees evidence of intimacy between Eileen and Dave. Perhaps the mother fears, having lost her husband, that a relationship with Dave could cause her to lose her daughter.
6. What evidence is there that Sami wants Dave to replace her father, but not replace him in the sense of being Eileen’s husband? Or perhaps did Sami have a romantic crush on him? 66, 69, 71 Sami stole his shirt. She calls them "shameless animals." Sami doesn't want to lose a father figure again. She tells Dave that he'll dump her mom.
7. On page 74, what suggests that Sami and her mother are trying to abate their complicated feelings (way too complicated) for Dave and want to vanquish him in order to save their relationship? How does this situation pertain to the story’s title? (competition for the same man? Guilt over that and their recently deceased father/husband? Both protective of each other’s feelings?)
8. Is “Choice” about choosing the lesser of two evils? Give a personal example. The mother will be "less happy" without her boyfriend but in this case happiness is not the issue. Preserving her relationship with her daughter is the issue. Maturity is being able to take "happiness" out of the equation when you have to. Maturity is knowing when to say "happiness is not relevant."
Perhaps the story's theme is that there is no such thing as "the right choice," which is a myth. All choices are messy, complicated thorny beasts sodden with the hideous and the horrible.
9. What fears does Eileen have?
She fears that she and Sami are competing for Dave, which will obviously compromise her relationship with her daughter.
She fears dating Dave disgraces her husband even though he is dead.
She fears that if Dave dumps her, she and her daughter will have to experience the devastating loss of a husband and father figure all over again.
Argumentative Thesis Examples for "Choice" As a Response to Previous Quiz
Some argue that Eileen should not reject Dave, that she is a prisoner of fear, hiding in an emotional prison affording too much protection. But in fact, Eileen made the right choice by rejecting Dave because, in spite of his friendly, helpful personality traits, he presents too much risk to both Eileen and her daughter. His first risk is that he is not anchored to anything. He is a lonely man without a sense of belonging and in this lonely state he is needy. Needy people make bad, compulsive decisions. It is likely that, as Sami predicted, he will eventually tire of his caretaker role, reject Eileen, and waste her time. The second risk he poses is that while he is a helpful presence in Eileen's househould, she has not gone through the grieving process enough to form a stable bond of intimacy with Dave. Finally, Dave is too young to know that he wants to settle down with an older woman who cannot bear him a child. He is fooling both himself, and Eileen, if he thinks otherwise. Taken in its totality, Eileen made the wise and prudent choice by suppressing her passions and expelling Dave from her life. Eileen's discipline shows conclusively that she is not a slave to irrational passions and that in fact she is free.
A Thesis That Counters the Above One
Whoever wrote that Dave presents Eileen a high risk is in grievious error. For one, Dave has been nothing but sincere in his intentions throughout the story. He has no tricks up his sleeve, no skullduggery whatsoever. Second, the idea that all men must be biological fathers is a gross generalization that has no bearing in scientific data or research. Finally, this notion that the possible breakup between Dave and Eileen would be a trauma tantamount to the mother and daughter re-experiencing the father's death all over again is utterly absurd. All of us face the risk of loss in a relationship. All of us are vulnerable. Eileen, and her daughter, are no different than the rest of us.
McMahon's Sample Introduction Transitioning to a Thesis About Free Will and Metacognition
Mario Alzone and I were teenagers when one hot summer night we ignored the No Trespassing sign, climbed over the gate of the swanky Tanglewood Apartments, and took a dip in the luxury swimming pool. Floating in the water was this oversized fluorescent orange bra. Alzone picked it up, studied the extra large cups lasciviously and then announced that he had forgotten to buy his sister a birthday present. I told him he was an idiot and laughed, assuming he wasn't serious.
But a few days later I attended his sister's birthday party and Mario presented her with this lurid orange bra, unwrapped, and she didn't even look surprised, apparently desensitized to her brother's troglodyte behavior.
Alzone’s judgment had always been skewed. He once sped a mini bike, lost control, and crashed through a church wall. Two days later he discovered he had broken his leg.
His employment history was sketchy. He never went to college, so he’d get these non-skill jobs: margarine and ketchup factories, slaughterhouses, Toys R Us . . . the list seemed endless.
One day I went with him to the unemployment office and I was disgusted by the nicotine-coated building, the unfriendly, ghoulish, brain-dead functionaries working behind the cracked plastic partitions and I realized my days with Alzone were near the end.
Metacognition kicked in: More self-aware than before, I got serious about my college studies, got off the academic probation list, and started earning straight As.
Should I pat myself on the back for my college success? I don't think so. My success wasn't based on any "choice" I had made. Rather, my motivation to succeed was no choice at all; it was a compulsion based on vanity, the need for a job that I could boast about at cocktail parties, and disgust for a life dependent on unskilled jobs.
I've never been someone possessed by free will. Rather, I am driven by hardwired impulses to be disgusted by a life of deadends, thankless jobs, and lowly status. In other words, my biological and psychological makeup compel me to embrace those things that will lift me higher up the Darwinian food chain.
Likewise, most of the characters in Ha Jin's stories don't appear to be endowed with any free will. Rather, they are driven by unconscious impulses, which include insane jealousy, cultural obligation, guilt, and curdled love gone bad.
After each sentence, write C for complete or F for fragment sentence. If the sentence is a fragment, correct it so that it is a complete sentence.
One. While hovering over the complexity of a formidable math problem and wondering if he had time to solve the problem before his girlfriend called him to complain about the horrible birthday present he bought her.
Two. In spite of the boyfriend’s growing discontent for his girlfriend, a churlish woman prone to tantrums and grand bouts of petulance.
Three. My BMW 5 series, a serious entry into the luxury car market.
Four. Overcome with nausea from eating ten bowls of angel hair pasta slathered in pine nut garlic pesto.
Five. Winding quickly but safely up the treacherous Palos Verdes hills in the shrouded mist of a lazy June morning, I realized that my BMW gave me feelings of completeness and fulfillment.
Six. To attempt to grasp the profound ignorance of those who deny the compelling truths of science in favor of their pseudo-intellectual ideas about “dangerous” vaccines and the “myths” of global warming.
Seven. The girlfriend whom I lavished with exotic gifts from afar.
Eight. When my cravings for pesto pizza, babaganoush, and triple chocolate cake overcome me during my bouts of acute anxiety.
Nine. Inclined to stop watching sports in the face of my girlfriend’s insistence that I pay more attention to her, I am throwing away my TV.
Ten. At the dance club where I espy my girlfriend flirting with a stranger by the soda machine festooned with party balloons and tinsel.
Eleven. The BMW speeding ahead of me and winding into the misty hills.
Twelve. Before you convert to the religion of veganism in order to impress your vegan girlfriend.
Thirteen. Summoning all my strength to resist the giant chocolate fudge cake sweating on the plate before me.
McMahon Grammar Lesson: Mixed Structure
Mixed construction is when the sentence parts do not fit in terms of grammar or logic.
Once you establish a grammatical unit or pattern, you have to be consistent.
Example 1: The prepositional phrase followed by a verb
Faulty
For most people who suffer from learned helplessness double their risk of unemployment and living below the poverty line.
Corrected
For most people who suffer from learned helplessness, they find they will be twice as likely to face unemployment and poverty.
Faulty
In Ha Jin’s masterful short story collection renders the effects of learned helplessness.
Corrected
In Ha Jin’s masterful short story collection, we see the effects of learned helplessness.
Faulty
Depending on our method of travel and our destination determines how many suitcases we are allowed to pack.
Corrected
The number of suitcases we can pack is determined by our method of travel and our destination.
Mixed Structure 2: Using a verb after a dependent clause
Faulty
When Jeff Henderson is promoted to head chef without warning is very exciting.
Corrected
Being promoted to head chef without warning is very exciting for Jeff Henderson.
Mixed Structure 3: Mixing a subordinate conjunction with a coordinating conjunction
Faulty
Although Jeff Henderson is a man of great genius and intellect, but he misused his talents.
Corrected
Although Jeff Henderson is a man of great genius and intellect, he misused his talents.
Faulty
Even though Ellen heard French spoken all her life, yet she could not write it.
Corrected
Even though Ellen heard French spoken all her life, she could not write it.
Mixed Structure 4: The construction is so confusing you must throw it away and start all over.
Faulty
In the prison no-snitch code Jeff Henderson learns to recognize variations of the code rather than by its real application in which he learns to arrive at a more realistic view of the snitch code’s true nature.
Corrected
In prison Jeff Henderson discovered that the no-snitch code doesn’t really exist.
Faulty
Recurring bouts of depression among the avalanche survivors set a record for number patients admitted into mental hospitals.
Corrected
Recurring bouts of depression among avalanche survivors resulted in a large number of them being admitted into mental hospitals.
Mixed Structure 5: Faulty Predication: The subject and the predicate should make sense together.
Faulty
We decided that Jeff Henderson’s best interests would not be well served staying in prison.
Corrected
We decided that Jeff Henderson would not be well served staying in prison.
Faulty
Using a gas mask is a precaution now worn by firemen.
Corrected
Firemen wear gas masks as a precaution against smoke inhalation.
Faulty
Early diagnosis of prostrate cancer is often curable.
Corrected
Early diagnosis of prostrate cancer is essential for successful treatment.
Mixed Structure 6: Faulty Apposition: The appositive and the noun to which it refers should be logically equivalent.
Faulty
The gourmet chef, a very lucrative field, requires at least 10,000 hours of practice.
Corrected
Gourmet cooking, a very lucrative field, requires at least 10,000 hours of practice.
Mixed Structure 7: Incorrect use of the “is when,” “is where,” and “is because” construction
College instructors discourage “is when,” “is where,” and most commonly “is because” constructions because they violate logic.
Faulty
Bipolar disorder is when people suffer dangerous mood swings.
Corrected
Bipolar disorder is often recognized by dangerous mood swings.
Faulty
A torn rotator cuff is where you feel this intense pain in your shoulder that won’t go away.
Corrected
A torn rotator cuff causes chronic pain in your shoulder.
Faulty
The reason I write so many comma splices is because the complete sentences feel logically related to each other.
Corrected
I write so many comma splices because the complete sentences feel logically related to each other.
Faulty
The reason I ate the whole pizza is because my family was a half hour late from coming home to the park and I couldn’t wait any longer.
Corrected
I ate the entire pizza because I’m a glutton.
In-class exercise: Write a sample of the seven mixed structure types and show a corrected version of it:
One. Verb after a prepositional phrase
Two. Verb after a dependent clause
Three. Mixing a subordinating conjunction (Whenever, when, although, though, to name some) with a coordinate conjunction (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so)
Four. The sentence is so confusing you have to start over.
Five. Faulty predication
Six: Faulty apposition
Seven. Incorrect use of the “is when,” “is where,” and “is because” construction
"A Composer and His Parakeet"
1. Why do couples settle into a relationship based on lies?
You can say people are blind or they choose to blind because it's easier to be deluded on a certain level. Of course, it's really not easier.
Blindness is easier than dealing with real frustration. Often people "fall in love" to distract themselves from the fact that there is no love in their life, which makes their situation worse.
It could be argued that Fanlin and his girlfriend Supriya are both saddled down by some rather heavy delusions. What are they? Think of the musical score, The Blind Musician. Both are blind; therefore, they can never be free.
Or one can argue they are free to assert their will to be blind.
Or one can argue their blindness is not chosen; it's an unconcious impulse. I tend to agree with the first argument.
The crux of the matter:
Fanlin is blinded by his own neediness, which compels him to commit to a vain person who is not willing to offer him reciprocity. In spite of being in a relationship, Fanlin is lonely and bonds with a bird more than his own girlfriend.
Fanlin is afraid of the "A" word: alone, so he settles for a BS relationship.
Supriya is too vain to acknowledge that she is using Fanlin as her lackey or servant to groom her career.
They're both using each other in an unhealthy way.
In America, we would say that Supriya is shillyshallying or dillydallying or lollygagging until someone better comes along. She shows contempt for her boyfriend, which means she must have contempt for herself.
Perhaps I'm being pessimistic, but is Supriya really on the verge of a breakthrough in her acting career or is she, like most actors, doomed to a life of small bits here and there?
Perhaps her needy boyfriend is willing to massage her delusions and reinforce their symbiotic relationship so he doesn't have to confront "A."
2. The relationship between Fanlin and Bori casts light on Fanlin’s relationship with Supriya. Explain.
Story's Major Theme:
Life is what happens while you’re waiting for the grand moments that never come; closer to Bori; farther from Supriya. In other words, there is no real life with Supriya; it's just a dream, a life that will always come later. He's waiting for that life to come with Supriya, but it never will come. His real life is in the here and now and it's with Bori.
3. How is Supriya using Fanlin? She is blind to the fact that she uses her boyfriend, that she doesn't love him and therefore doesn't love herself, and that she has a zero acting career. See 12 and 13. She won't marry him and settle down. She's dilly-dallying until someone better comes along?
4. What evidence is there that Fanlin and the bird are bonding? (blister, travel companion, etc). Most importantly, see 23, the change in the second half of Fanlin’s music score, more depth, melancholy, beauty in the face of the death of his beloved bird.
Thesis Samples
Freedom is rare in Ha Jin's stories but when characters do become free, they do so because of the cultivation of the Third Eye which is evidenced by _______________, ______________, ________________, and __________________.
An acknowledgement of Einstein's Insanity Rule
Letting go of the ego
Letting go of selfishness
Letting go of fear
Deciding to no longer play the role of a helpless victim; in essence deciding to fight against the condition of learned helplessness.
Free Will and Determinism in Ha Jin's Stories
"The Beauty" : no free will; Dan is driven by jealousy. Dan becomes more and more odious and disgusting as the story progresses. He becomes a more intense version of his already lame self. He is what we call a centripetal character.
"Temporary Love": no free will; Lina is driven by a sense of guilt and duty; Panbin is overcome by curdled love that leads to bitterness and nihilism.
"A Composer and His Parakeets":
There is free will in a subtle way. Fanlin slowly lets go of his denial about Supriya's lack of love for him and undergoes the slow, arduous journey toward acceptance rendered in his melancholy musical composition.
Fanlin has grown as a person; thus we can say he is a centrifugal character.
"Choice": There is free will: Eileen cuts short her passionate affair with Dave because it's destroying her relationship with her daughter. Eileen ultimately asserts discipline and self-denial in the face of temptation for the sake of her daughter.
For your essay you must develop a thesis, perhaps an argument, about the topic of freedom as it pertains to Ha Jin's stories.
McMahon argues, in part, that freedom is an illusion. We are in fact motivated by things we cannot control such as fear, vanity, disgust, hunger for social status, the desire to be superior to others, greed, avoiding family shame and rejection, desire to please others, desire to conform to culture and/or family.
Now if you don't have the above motivations, what happens to you? You become lazy. You have no motivation.
McMahon has a problem. His list of motivations is only only bad motivations. Did McMahon have an agenda? Yes, McMahon was being dishonest. He was hiding good motivations in order to support an argument and to persuade you to "his side."
In reality, however, McMahon was tricking you, showing you how easily you can be manipulated and deceived.
What does McMahon really believe? Ninety-nine percent of us have no freedom. We are indeed driven by the above stated motivations.
However, if you look at history's heroes like Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, what you'll find is that success, meaning, courage, nobility, heroism can be found without being slaves to our lower passions. A few people are free and they always want to free the rest of us.
McMahon Grammar Exercise: Identifying Phrases, Independent Clauses, and Dependent Clauses
Identify the group of words in bold type as phrase, independent clause, or dependent clause.
One. Toward the monster’s palace, we see a white marble fountain jettisoning chocolate fudge all over the other giants.
Two. Before going to school, Gerard likes to make sure he’s packed his chocolate chip cookies and bagels.
Three. Because Jack’s love of eating pizza every night cannot be stopped, he finds his cardio workouts to be rather worthless.
Four. Maria finds the Lexus preferable to the BMW because of the Lexus’ lower repair costs.
Five. Greg does not drive at night because he suffers from poor nocturnal eyesight.
Six. Whenever Greg drives past HomeTown Buffet, he is overcome with depression and nausea.
Seven. People who eat at Cinnabon, according to Louis C.K., always look miserable over their poor life decisions.
Eight. After eating at Cinnabon and HomeTown Buffet, Gary has to eat a bottle of antacids.
Nine. Towards the end of the date, Gary decided to ask Maria if she’d care for another visit to HomeTown Buffet.
Ten. Whenever Maria is in the presence of a gluttonous gentleman, she withdraws into her shell.
Eleven. Greg watched Maria recoil into her shell while biting her nails.
Twelve. Greg watched Maria recoil into her private universe while she bit her nails.
Thirteen. Eating at all-you-can-eat buffets will expand the circumference of your waistline.
Fourteen. Larding your essay with grammatical errors will result in a low grade.
Fifteen. My favorite pastime is larding my essay with grammatical errors.
Sixteen. Larding my body with chocolate chunk peanut butter cookies followed by several gallons of milk, I wondered if I should skip dinner that evening.
Seventeen. After contemplating the benefits of going on a variation of the Paleo diet, I decided I was at peace being a fat man with a strong resemblance to the Pillsbury Dough Boy.
Eighteen. In the 1970s few people would consider eating bugs as their main source of protein although today world-wide food shortages have compelled a far greater percentage of the human race to entertain this unpleasant possibility.
Nineteen. Because of increased shortages in worldwide animal protein, more and more people are looking to crickets, grasshoppers, and grubs as possible complete protein amino acid alternatives.
Twenty. The percentage of people getting married in recent years has significantly declined as an economic malaise has deflated confidence in the viability of sustaining a long-term marriage.
Twenty-one. Before you decide to marry someone, consider two things: your temperament and your economic prospects.
Twenty-two. To understand the pitfalls of getting married prematurely is to embark on the road to greater wisdom.
Twenty-three. To know me is to love me.
Twenty-four. To languish in the malignant juices of self-pity after breaking up with your girlfriend is to fall down the rabbit hole of moral dissolution and narcissism.
Twenty-five. Having considered the inevitable disappointment of being rich, I decided not to rob a bank.
Twenty-six. Watching TV on a sticky vinyl sofa all day, I noticed I was developing bedsores.
Twenty-seven. While I watched TV for twenty consecutive hours, I began to wonder if life was passing me by.
Twenty-eight. Under the bridge where a swarm of mosquitos gathered, the giant belched.
In the context of Frankl’s book, write a 5-page essay explaining where you rank on the Meaning Scale, analyzing your strengths and weaknesses that determine your ranking. For example, are you worthy of your suffering in the way Frankl explains? Do you have a higher purpose or do you live a provisional existence? If you need a measurement for the Meaning Scale, you can use a ranking system between 0-10 or 0-100. Your essay must incorporate several principles from Frankl’s book and use concrete personal examples.
Your Works Cited Page should have 3 sources, the Frankl’s book, my blog, and another source of your choice (film, book, TV show, etc.)
Your outline might look like this:
In one page summarize the book’s major points.
Then write a thesis paragraph such as “My Meaning Scale is X evidenced by __________________, ____________________, _____________________, _______________________, and ____________________________.
Your body paragraphs will correspond to the above mapping components. Your conclusion will be a restatement of your thesis in shorter, more powerful form.
Essay Two: The Death of Ivan Ilych
In a 5-page research paper, analyze the life of Ivan Ilych in the context of Man’s Search for Meaning.
Your Works Cited page should have no fewer than 4 sources, Tolstoy’s story, Frankl’s book, my blog, and another source of your choice.
Essay Three Options (from The Story and Its Writer):
A. In a 5-page essay, compare the tribe’s influence on nihilism, the misguided desire for a provisional existence, and the soul’s forfeiture of meaning in “The Lottery” and “The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas.” Your Works Cited page should refer to the two stories, Frankl’s book, my blog, and one other source for a total of 5 sources.
B. In a 5-page essay, develop a thesis that analyzes the narrator’s struggle to find meaning in the story “Bartleby the Scrivener.” For your Works Cited page, use no fewer than 4 sources, the story, Frankl’s book, my blog, and another source.
C. In a 5-page essay, compare the demonic persona of nihilism and fatalism in the characters The Misfit from “A Good Man Is Hard to Find” and Arnold Friend in “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” For your Works Cited page, refer to the two stories, Frankl’s book, and my blog for 4 sources minimum.
Essay 4 Options (Also from The Story and Its Writer)
A. In a 5-page essay, compare the distorted time warp and its danger to the human soul in “The Swimmer” and “Babylon Revisited.” For your Works Cited page, refer to the two stories, Frankl’s book, and my blog for a minimum of 4 sources.
B. In a 5-page essay, argue in the context of Man’s Search for Meaning that Hulga from "Good Country People" and The Misfit from "A Good Man Is Hard to Find" are soulmates in nihilism, experiencing the existential vacuum. Your Works Cited page should refer to the stories, Frankl’s book, my blog, and another source of your choice for 4 minimum sources.
C. In a 5-page essay, analyze the problems of meaning “The Overcoat” and “The Lady with the Pet Dog” present us in the context of Man’s Search for Meaning. For your Works Cited page, refer to the 2 stories, Frankl’s book, my blog, for a total of 5 sources minimum.