Lesson for “Bullet in the Brain” and “Mortals”

Looking at the Link Between Self-Pity and Narcissism

Self-pity is a claw trap that never lets go of us by making us focus on our past, our sense of victimization, our sense of inflated self, and by making us lose our sense of proportion so that we go crazy or to use a more objective term lose the right perspective. Also it should be emphasized that because self-pity tends to be chronic (after all, to keep with our metaphor, it's a claw trap that doesn't let go) the mental disease becomes infected and gangrenous, the adjective form of the noun gangrene. These words apply to physical decay and rot but in the psychological sense with the effects of self-pity, we are of course talking about the rot and decay of the mind and soul. 

Self-Pity Is Self-Inflicted

 Perhaps the most compelling characteristic of self-pity is that we become blind to the fact that however real our grievances, our real injury is self-inflicted, an act of self-betrayal, but we are too narcissistic to take accountability for this fact. We'd rather continue to blame phantom enemies than confront the role of our own self in the process of our demise and moral dissolution.

Once we get inside self-pity's jaws, it's usually a slow death that awaits us. Many of the stories in Tobias Wolff's collection illustrate this principle, including "The Other Miller," "Mortals," and "The Chain."

Self-pity makes us focus on our past

Specifically self-pity is directed at past grievances and a sense of injustice that makes us feel like helpless victims. We don't understand that our only hope is focusing on a future full of meaning. 

Self-pity makes us lose proportion

Our obsession blinds us from reasonable solutions to our problem. 

Self-pity is rooted in inflated entitlement and expectations

No matter what needs our met, we keep raising the bar so that we are always disappointed and bitter.

What Are Some of the Cures for Self-Pity? (Easier Said Than Done)

Helping others; do the right thing and the feelings come later.

Find a hobby or passion that takes focus off self.

Find a purpose that connects you to an ideal and the world, rather than focusing on self. 

Review Definition of Narcissism and Thesis

Wiley, Brian Gold, Givens, and Miller all suffer from narcissism evidenced by ________________, ___________________, ____________________, ___________________, and __________________.

Self-pity

The insatiable hunger for admiration

Pathological lying; telling stories, narratives, fictions (knowing that others love stories more than the truth because stories are more juicy, more dramatic) that become "real" and then this begins insanity

Solipsism(related to projection)

Projection, you never understand others because you project your thoughts on everyone else

Writing an Introduction and Thesis for an Essay About the Link Between Self-Pity and the characters in Tobias Wolff's Short Stories

Introduction would require a personal example: Let's take the example of a wealthy doctor whose wife left him for another doctor. . . 

My thesis would go like this: It would take entire book to cover the role of narcissism in Tobias Wolff's short story collection The Night in Question, so I will narrow my focus on one of narcissism's most potent, malignant characteristics: self-pity. As we study the demise of Brian Gold, Miller, and Givens, we will see that self-pity is a bear claw trap that kills us in many unforgiving ways, which include self-pity's power to draw obsessive focus on our past, to redefine our identity as a helpless victim, to marinate in debilitating bitterness, and to wallow in self-regard to the point of losing all proportion. 

Evaluate Following Student Thesis Statements That Pertain to Narcissism Essay Assignment

Narcissism is one of the great plagues of the human race.

Narcissism should be a crime punishable by law.

The narcissists in Tobias Wolff's short story collection are selfish, immature, and full of self-pity.

The narcissists in TW's collection are selfish, immature, and self-pitying.

We're all narcissists to some degree; therefore, writing about narcissism, or trying to identify it, is an act of futility and a waste of time.

In class our teacher McMahon said a Stage 10 Narcissist is someone without self-awareness and therefore the worst type of narcissist of all. Our fearless teacher McMahon is in serious error, for in fact a close examination will reveal that it is the very self-aware calculated narcissist, the Great Manipulator, who is the worst narcissist of all. This becomes evident when we see that the Manipulating Narcissist is a sociopath, an exploiter, and a cunning, unmerciful foe and trickster to all his victims.

 
Wiley and Gold are pathetic characters whose self-pity parallels each other in several ways. These ways include ___________, _______________, ______________, and __________________.

Wiley and Gold have similar narcissistic traits. These traits include . . .

Wiley and Gold are ruined creatures mired in a similar, noxious brand of narcissism which includes . . .

Self-pity, emotional retardation, low self-esteem, and obsessive vindication comprise the narcissistic glue that sticks Wiley and Gold together.

Theme for "Bullet in the Brain": The story’s theme is the danger of a particular type of narcissism: intellectual pride.

Anders is book smart but not savvy. His intellectual pride blinds him from being street smart (you have skills in dealing with humans and real life conflicts in an improvisational manner.

 

Two. Signs That Anders Is Not Street Smart

 

1. He doesn’t know how to make allies among his enemies. 200
2. His sarcasm doesn’t hit the right note because it’s too strident. 200, 201
3. He can’t turn off his supercilious sarcasm when the situation warrants it. 201
4. He doesn’t know when to talk and when to shut up. 202
5. He has allowed his critic persona to take over his entire personality and this has given him delusions of omnipotence resulting in his death. 203
6. His flashbacks punctuated by “he didn’t remember” all the meaningful moments of his life show a man who grew increasingly lonely.

 

Study Questions and Sample Thesis Statements for “Mortals” by Tobias Wolff

 

1. What psychological profile of the narrator can we glean from the story’s first 3 pages? He is a sad sack, infected with the wound of self-pity. The symptoms of self-pity are intertia and learned helplessness. See page 5.
2. What “sin” is the narrator guilty of? He has given up his freedom and free will in favor of the ego massage that results from self-pity. 
3. What is the connection between the narrator’s boss discovering his employee’s negligence and the narrator’s discovery that his father had died on page 6? Death is like “getting caught”; it creates a nervous laughter, a coping mechanism to treat our vulnerabilities and shortcomings as a joke.
4. How does the story divide the world into two groups on page 8? Those with a consciousness of death and those who don’t have such a consciousness.
5. What is the story’s major theme? See page 8. We cannot judge our lives fully without seeing our lives in the context of death. Remember Viktor Frankl's Death Bed Test.
   
6. What does the story say about having a healthy relationship with our own mortality? We must not live in denial of death. Rather, death should help us focus on what is meaningful and important and discard the rest. Self-pity is a way of killing time when we deny death.
   
7. What evidence is there that the narrator is disaffected and disconnected from the human race? He disregards humanity, a way of deflecting his self-contempt. See page 9.
8. At the top of page 10, the narrator says to Givens: “Somebody’s imagining you dead. Thinking about it. The wish is father to the deed.” Givens has a death wish, but in that wish is the implicit desire to be reborn. How are these words true?
9. Clearly, the narrator suspects Givens to be the culprit of the fraud. But his contempt for Givens goes further. Explain. He sees himself in Givens perhaps.
   
10. Find 3 similarities between the narrator and Givens. See page 10 and 11. Vain, overcome by self-pity, overcome by a sense of personal failure.
    
11. What does the dialogue at the bottom of page 10 and the top of page 11 say about American notions of success and failure? Either/Or fallacy. Think of Iceland where failure is not that big a deal.
    
12.  Givens’ act of affirming his “loyalty” reveals what about him? Self-doubt.
13. On page 12, the narrator says he admires Givens for having experienced a “resurrection.” Is this true? What is the story saying about the manner in which we “resurrect” ourselves? We impose narratives, real or otherwise, that give our lives a narrative arc, a shape, a structure, a meaning, that defies the chaos, emptiness, and failure that afflicts us. We all wish to write our own flattering obituary in other words. Our capacity for self-delusion is infinite.
14. Is Givens’ confession the truth or simply uttered out of coercion?

 

Sample Thesis Statements That Suffer from Being Too Obvious or General:

 

“Mortals” is a story about death.

 

“Mortals” explores a man’s obsession with death.

 

Improved Thesis Statements:

 

“Mortals” is not a story about death or mortality; rather, it is a story about two failed lives, the narrator’s and Givens’, who, despising each other for their similarities, are both mired in narcissistic self-pity and vain self-delusion alternated by grandiose bouts of self-pity.

 

The “resurrection” mentioned in the story is no resurrection at all; rather, it speaks to Givens’ desire to write his own obituary, for doing so enables him to fulfill the ultimate narcissistic fantasy: to gloss over his shortcomings, to exaggerate his strengths, and to impose an artificial narrative shape to his shapeless, meaningless existence.

 

Givens’ alleged “resurrection” is no resurrection at all. Rather, it is a chimera that enables him to gloss over his shortcomings, to exaggerate his strengths, and to impose an artificial narrative shape to his shapeless, meaningless existence.

 

The narrator is convinced that Givens called in his own obituary but in fact we have no definitive proof that Givens committed such a fraud. What is evident, however, is that the narrator is projecting his own failures onto Givens. These failures include a man who knows in his gut that he is squandering his existence on laziness, self-pity, and vain self-delusion and rather than face his shortcomings he would rather divert his energy to hating Givens.

 

Types of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)

 

Narcissists are either "Cerebral" (derive their narcissistic supply from their intelligence or academic achievements) - or "Somatic" (derive their narcissistic supply from their physique, exercise, physical or sexual prowess and romantic or physical "conquests").

 

Narcissists are "Classic", "Compensatory", or "Inverted". The classic narcissist is self-confident, the compensatory narcissist covers up in his haughty behavior for a deep-seated deficit in self-esteem, and the inverted type is a co-dependent who caters to the emotional needs of a classic narcissist.

 

Other typologies have been suggested (for instance, the phallic vs. non-phallic narcissist).

 

Prevalence and Age and Gender Features

 

According to the DSM IV-TR, between 2% and 16% of the population in clinical settings (between 0.5-1% of the general population) are diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

 

A slight majority of narcissists (50-75%, according to the DSM-IV-TR) are men. Narcissistic traits are common among adolescents, but few go on to develop the full-fledge disorder. The disorder becomes more acute as the narcissist grows older and is exacerbated by the onset of aging and the physical, mental, and occupational restrictions.

 

Robert Milman suggested that under constant public scrutiny and exposure, a transient and reactive form of the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) can develop. He labelled it "Acquired Situational Narcissism".

 

Studies have not demonstrated any ethnic, social, cultural, economic, genetic, or professional predilection to NPD.

 

Characteristics and Traits

 

A person diagnosed with the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) feels grandiose and self-important. He tends to exaggerates his accomplishments, talents, skills, contacts, and personality traits to the point of lying.

 

He also demands to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements.

 

Narcissists are obsessed with fantasies of unlimited success, fame, fearsome power or omnipotence, unequalled brilliance (the cerebral narcissist), bodily beauty or sexual performance (the somatic narcissist), or ideal, everlasting, all-conquering love or passion.

 

They are firmly convinced that he or she is unique and, being special, can only be understood by, should only be treated by, or associate with, other special or unique, or high-status people (or institutions).

 

The narcissist requires excessive admiration, adulation, attention and affirmation - or, failing that, wishes to be feared and to be notorious. Such feedback is known as narcissistic supply and the narcissist uses it to regulate his labile sense of self-worth.

 

The narcissist feels entitled. He demands automatic and full compliance with his unreasonable expectations for special and favorable priority treatment. A a result, he is often "interpersonally exploitative", i.e., uses others to achieve his or her own ends;

 

Narcissists lack empathy. They are unable or unwilling to identify with, acknowledge, or accept the feelings, needs, preferences, priorities, and choices of others.

 

They are constantly envious of others and seek to hurt or destroy the objects of their resulting frustration. They suffer from persecutory (paranoid) delusions because they believe that others feel the same about them - seething with envy and resentment - and are likely to act on these negative sentiments.

 

The narcissist is arrogant and haughty. He feels superior, omnipotent, omniscient, invincible, immune, "above the law", and omnipresent (magical thinking). Rages when frustrated, contradicted, or confronted by people he considers inferior to him and unworthy.

 

Clinical Features of the Narcissistic Personality Disorder

 

The onset of pathological narcissism is in infancy, childhood and early adolescence. It is commonly attributed to childhood abuse and trauma inflicted by parents, authority figures, or even peers. There are indications that heredity may be involved as well.

 

Pathological narcissism is a defense mechanism intended to deflect hurt and trauma from the victim's "True Self" into a "False Self" which is omnipotent, invulnerable, and omniscient. The narcissist uses the False Self to regulate his or her labile sense of self-worth by extracting from his environment narcissistic supply (any form of attention, both positive and negative).

 

Narcissistic supply is outside attention - usually positive (adulation, affirmation, fame, celebrity) - used by the narcissist to regulate his labile sense of self-worth.

 

There is a whole range of narcissistic reactions, styles, and personalities – from the mild, reactive and transient to the permanent personality disorder.

 

Patients with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) feel injured, humiliated and empty when criticized. They often react with disdain (devaluation), rage, and defiance to any slight, real or imagined. To avoid such situations, some patients with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) socially withdraw and feign false modesty and humility to mask their underlying grandiosity. Dysthymic and depressive disorders are common reactions to isolation and feelings of shame and inadequacy.

 

The interpersonal relationships of patients with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are typically impaired due to their lack of empathy, disregard for others, exploitativeness, sense of entitlement, and constant need for attention (narcissistic supply).

 

Though often ambitious and capable, inability to tolerate setbacks, disagreement, and criticism make it difficult for patients with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) to work in a team or to maintain long-term professional achievements. The narcissist's fantastic grandiosity, frequently coupled with a hypomanic mood, is typically incommensurate with his or her real accomplishments (the "grandiosity gap").

 

Patients with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are either "cerebral" (derive their Narcissistic Supply from their intelligence or academic achievements) or "somatic" (derive their Narcissistic Supply from their physique, exercise, physical or sexual prowess and romantic or physical "conquests").

 

Patients with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are either "classic" (meet five of the nine diagnostic criteria included in the DSM), or they are "compensatory" (their narcissism compensates for deep-set feelings of inferiority and lack of self-worth).

 

Some narcissists are covert, or inverted narcissists. As codependents, they derive their narcissistic supply from their relationships with classic narcissists.

 

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is often diagnosed with other mental health disorders ("co-morbidity"), such as mood disorders, eating disorders, and substance-related disorders. Patients with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are frequently abusive and prone to impulsive and reckless behaviours ("dual diagnosis").

 

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is commonly diagnosed with other personality disorders, such as the Histrionic, Borderline, Paranoid, and Antisocial Personality Disorders.

 

The personal style of those suffering from the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) should be distinguished from the personal styles of patients with other Cluster B Personality Disorders. The narcissist is grandiose, the histrionic coquettish, the antisocial (psychopath) callous, and the borderline needy.

 

As opposed to patients with the Borderline Personality Disorder, the self-image of the narcissist is stable, he or she are less impulsive and less self-defeating or self-destructive and less concerned with abandonment issues (not as clinging).

 

Contrary to the histrionic patient, the narcissist is achievements-orientated and proud of his or her possessions and accomplishments. Narcissists also rarely display their emotions as histrionics do and they hold the sensitivities and needs of others in contempt.

 

According to the DSM-IV-TR, both narcissists and psychopaths are "tough-minded, glib, superficial, exploitative, and unempathic". But narcissists are less impulsive, less aggressive, and less deceitful. Psychopaths rarely seek narcissistic supply. As opposed to psychopaths, few narcissists are criminals.

 

Patients suffering from the range of obsessive-compulsive disorders are committed to perfection and believe that only they are capable of attaining it. But, as opposed to narcissists, they are self-critical and far more aware of their own deficiencies, flaws, and shortcomings.

 

The Night in Question by Tobias Wolff: The Fallacies of the Narcissistic Mind

Write 1,000-word essay in which you develop an extended definition of the term narcissism using at least 3 stories. You must have a Works Cited page with no fewer than 2 sources, the stories, my blog, and a source of your choice.  about how Wolff’s stories give us a penetrating look at narcissism.  Use no fewer than 3 stories from the book.