Chapter 7: Thailand: Happiness Is Not Thinking
1. The “sexpat” is not happy. He’s a farang, a foreigner with a lot of money, who is disheveled. “As long as his wallet is in reasonably good shape, the rest of him can fall to pieces.” He’s looked at as pathetic, mush, unhappy.
Why? Because his hedonism has pushed him into a condition of moral dissolution.
Moral dissolution is the condition of breaking down or disintegrating spiritually, intellectually, and physically until one becomes like a zombie.
Moral dissolution is the final outcome of any addict.
Moral dissolution can be simply understood and the general emptiness, numbing, and mindlessness one suffers after "going to the well" too many times.
The danger of moral dissolution is that the afflicted doesn't know she suffers from it.
Sometimes it takes a miraculous epiphany for one to see the condition of moral dissolution in oneself. I know a cocaine addict from the 1980s who experienced such an epiphany.
2. Thais are happy and one of their beliefs is that too much thinking will make you unhappy: “Thinking is like running. Just because your legs are moving doesn’t mean you’re getting anywhere. You might even be running into a headwind. You might even be running backward.”
Thinking, or over-thinking, can be like an onward interior mental loop of futility, like a dog chasing his tail.
In other words, not all thinking is alike. Smart thinking is efficient and efficacious. Stupid thinking is compulsive, habitual, addictive.
With smart thinking, you get in and get out.
With dumb thinking, you linger in the chamber of your depression and malaise until you can't find your way out. "Help, Mr. Wizard, I'm lost!"
3. Thais do not read self-help books, go to therapy, or talk endlessly about their problems. Their wisdom lets them know that this type of naval-gazing makes your problems worse. You go backward.
The Thais know this truth about self-help books: If one worked, we'd all read it and be happy.
Too much self-help these days is not self-help at all, but exercises in narcissism resulting in the self-help patient becoming a prisoner of his own self-centered hell. The Thais are wise enough to avoid this condition.
4. Another saying against thinking: “Happy people have no reason to think; they live rather than question living.”
5. Conclusion: Thinking about happiness makes us less happy. So reading Weiner’s book, which makes you think about happiness, must be depressing.
6. Weiner learns this in Thailand: There are only 3 ways to increase our happiness: You can increase the amount of good feelings; you can decrease the amount of bad feelings; or you can change the subject. Take a tormented relationship, for example.
Thais don’t trust words. To change the subject, they say, “Mai pen lai.” It means “never mind” or “pay not attention.”
Wise guys in mafia films say, “Forget about it.” In America, we have a saying, “Water under the bridge” and “Let sleeping dogs lie (stay asleep).” Here are some tormenting questions: How come Person X doesn’t like me after all I did for her? Why is there suffering in the world? How can I enjoy this chocolate cake if just one baby is starving in Ethiopia? How can I focus on my homework when there is the possibility that the sun will explode and destroy our universe as we know it? How can I look forward to going to Heaven when so many people are doomed to spend eternity in Hell?
7. Thais believe in keeping a “cool heart,” keeping bad feelings inside, but Weiner points out that Thailand has a very high incidence of wives castrating their cheating husbands. Perhaps Thai women are afflicted with insane jealousy, the kind that brings out the knife.
8. Unlike Americans, Thais are free from the egotism that makes everything so serious. When they trip and fall, it’s funny to everyone, not a huge embarrassment. You can call your fat friend, “hippo,” and it’s cool. Not so in America.
9. The Thais hold a higher value of sanuk—happiness—over money and ego. Unlike Americans, Thais don't wake up every morning and kiss up to the giant God of Ambition.
10. Thais are solaced that if things don’t work out well in this life, they might be better in the next one.
Causes of Happiness in Iceland, Bhutan, and Thailand
One. Cooperation and social reciprocity
Two. Empathy ("we're all in this together" mentality)
Three. Wisdom to understand self-interested altruism
Four. Humor, being able to laugh at the human condition
Five. Moral code of integrity and social reciprocity
Six. In Thailand, the moral code is too diminish inflated self-regard through humor and discouraging self-centered over-thinking.
A Mixed Book Review
NYTimes Book Review of The Geography of Bliss
Toulmin Model of an Argumentative Essay
Purdue Owl Overview of Toulmin Model
Sample Essay with Rebuttal and Counterargument: "Good Guy with a Gun Myth"
How to Set Up a Counterargument in Your Rebuttal Section (The Templates)
Some of my critics will dismiss my claim that . . . but they are in error when we look closely at . . .
Some readers will 0bject to my argument that . . . However, their disagreement is misguided when we consider that . . .
Some opponents will be hostile to my claim that . . . However, their hostility is unfounded when we examine . . .
While Author X is guilty of several weaknesses as described by her opponents, her agument holds up to close examination in the areas of _________________, ______________, _____________, and ______________.
Even though author X shows weakness in her argument, such as __________ and ____________, she is nevertheless convincing because . . .
While author X makes many compelling points, her overall argument collapses under the weight of __________, ___________, ___________, and ______________.
Unhappiness in Moldova
1. Envy: To resent others for having a better situation than yours. The unhappy cannot bear the sight of the happy. I only suffer from half-envy. I wish I could be like some people, but I don't hate them.
2. The human condition is one of contrast: Hot means nothing without cold. Mozart is enhanced by Barry Manilow. Happy places are more interesting because of unhappy ones. The darkest part of the planet is Moldova. It is the least happy nation on the planet.
3. The body language is sour and bitter and this in turn makes people feel sour and bitter.
4. Natasha says “We have no money for life.” That is her reason, but Weiner doesn’t buy it because he’s visited other countries who in poverty don’t hold that attitude.
5. The male citizens are skinny; the male cops are fat and thuggish, a bad sign.
6. They’ve been beaten down into learned helplessness (see other lectures on this topic) The Moldovans say, “This is Moldova.” Or “What can I do?”
7. Moldovans compare themselves to the richer countries, not the poorer ones. So of course the glass is half empty.
8. The service industry is rude and this is a self-fulfilling prophecy of misery because you're turning off tourists, among other people.
9. There is no trust of anything, including their own people, and this results in nihilism.
10. The people are neither Russian nor Moldovan. They exist in a nether world of no identity or culture. “How can you feel good about yourself if you don’t know who you are?”
11. Their new “freedom” means nothing without jobs. They cannot afford to eat at McDonald’s.
12. Corruption and nepotism are rampant.
13. Men don’t care about their appearance because they’re outnumbered by the woman who wear raccoon makeup.
14. They are consumed by selfishness: “No este problema mea.” They can’t even recognize selfish altruism, which encourages reciprocity.
15. The Moldovans are fueled by schadenfreude; “They derive more pleasure from their neighbor’s failure than their own success.”
16. Scapegoat everything on “Perestroika.” When you scapegoat other source for your problems, your proclaiming your helplessness.
17. Envy accumulates like toxic waste.
18. There is no queuing, a sure sign of nihilism, anomie, and chaos.
19. They trust nothing: doctors under thirty-five, their own friends.
20. The once cheery American Peace Corps workers are becoming gloomy and depressed.
21. No one wants to be in Moldova, including Moldovans.
22. Helping professions score the highest in happiness surveys.
23. The Moldovans have thrown politeness and civility out the window. They say, “Give me that.” No please. In contrast, Japan emphasizes politeness. A common expression: “Gomen nasai.” I’m sorry.
24. Freedom has been reduced to a small number of people who have enough money to consume the growing selection of goods.
25. Moldovans haven’t used the golden rule of positive psychology: hedonic adaptation: No matter how severe our misfortune, we adapt. But this adaptation cannot occur in the absence of culture, living in a shadow of moral rot. They have never learned that social reciprocity results in happiness more than bitter selfishness, a condition they cling to with all their defiant strength. Moldova is a “fabricated nation.” It really does not exist.
26. Weiner concludes with “lessons gleaned from Moldova’s unhappiness”:
27. Lesson One: “Not my problem” is a mental illness, a condition of no empathy.
28. Lesson Two: Poverty is too often used as an excuse for unhappiness. Their reaction to poverty is worse than the poverty.
29. Lesson Three: A culture that belittles the value of trust and friendship and rewards mean-spiritedness and deceit cannot be happy.
Why Is Britain Distrustful of Happiness
1. Reticence is part of the very fabric of the British culture. Reticence is part of being proper, respectful, self-contained. It’s part of a deeply-entrenched ethos or moral code.
2. Happiness is looked at as a disease, a volatile illness that can result in the loss of control.
3. Britain is a repressed nation. Showing emotion is considered uncouth and embarrassing.
4. Britain values stoicism, which is a sign of strength. Happiness is looked upon as juvenile giddiness (silly, infantile, confectionary) and therefore is a weakness in character.
5. Brits are more comfortable being grumpy, churlish and surly than they are being happy. For a Brit, ironically enough, grumpiness is happiness. See page 246.
6. Happiness is synonymous with air-headed superficial stupidity. “Only dumb people are happy.”
7. Happiness suggests emotional ups and downs. This is threatening to Brits who “don’t want to bother anyone.” See page 247.
8. Trying to be happy, reading self-help books, is looked upon as being a trashy American and is a sign of weakness. See page 248.
9. Brits reject Thomas Jefferson’s individual pursuit of happiness and replace that quest with utilitarianism, the practical guide to wellbeing: The pursuit of the greatest happiness for the greatest number. This is also called “felicific calculus.” Happiness is only okay if it’s pursued as a math problem or a science.
10. We learn that for Brits and Eric Weiner that for some people grumpiness and sadness is a form of happiness.
Part Two. Why Are Self-Help Books and the Positive Psychology Movement Fraudulent, Bogus, and Harmful?
1. Happiness is a red herring. A red herring is a distraction from the real issue. (red herring link on Internet). If happiness is not the real issue, what is? Growth, human development, maturity, individuation. See Erich Fromm’s The Art of Loving and Escape from Freedom. : It would seem that the amount of destructiveness to be found in individuals is proportionate to the amount to which expansiveness of life is curtailed. By this we do not refer to individual frustrations of this or that instinctive desire but to the thwarting of the whole life, the blockage of spontaneity of the growth and expression of man's sensuous, emotional, and intellectual capacities. Life has an inner dynamism of its own; it tends to grow, to be expressed, to be lived. It seems that if this tendency is thwarted the energy directed toward life undergoes a process of decomposition and changes into energies directed toward destruction. In other words: the drive for life and the drive for destruction are not mutually independent factors but are in a reversed interdependence. The more the drive toward life is thwarted, the stronger is the drive toward destruction; the more life is realized, the less is the strength of destructiveness. Destructiveness is the outcome of unlived life. Those individual and social conditions that make for suppression of life produce the passion for destruction that forms, so to speak, the reservoir from which the particular hostile tendencies--either against others or against oneself--are nourished.
2. Psychology is about using your shrink as a crutch to keep his pay checks going.
3. There is no empirical evidence that therapy, life coaches, motivational speakers, and their ilk do anything to help people getter better or to become happy, yet Americans spend billions of dollars on the therapy, self-help, and self-actualization movements every year. A digression: Americans spend billions on supplements that are proven NOT to help them.
4. Therapy encourages self-centeredness, narcissism, victimization, and discourages personal responsibility. The self-help culture has created a nation of malcontents, whiners, victims, narcissists, swindlers, mountebanks, gluttons, road-ragers, Kool-Aid drinkers, and neer-do-wells.
Part Three. America Ranks Low on the Happiness Index. Why?
1. America is one of the wealthiest countries in the world but ranks low on happiness index. (23rd). Why? Some say we suffer from the “paradox of choice.” The more choices, the more we become anxious about making the “wrong choice." Also more choices results in inflated expectations.
2. Abundance leads to restlessness. Again, think of the hedonic treadmill.
3. While Americans have enjoyed more abundance in general, they also work longer hours and have longer commute times, which result in unhappiness.
4. “The More Factor” is in many ways a curse. As we read in McMahon’s blog the Breakthrough Writer, the hunger for more generates a delusional fallacy, what McMahon calls “Either/Or.”
5. The hunger for More is in many ways instinctual. But as Tim Kasser observes in “Mixed Messages,” these instincts can go haywire, become inflated and actually work against us.
6. According to Laurence Shames’ essay “The More Factor,” Americans are misguided by the “presumption that America would keep on booming—if not forever, then at least longer than it made sense to worry about.” But for all of our innovation and economic greatness, Laurence Shames laments that our materialistic excess has retarded our moral growth. As he writes. He opines that “Americans have been somewhat backward in adopting values, hopes, ambitions that have to do with things other than more.”
7. America encourages Darwinian competition, which results in isolation and paranoia. Our appetites for Darwinian competition are evidenced in the onslaught of “reality” TV shows like Survivor.
8. Darwinian competition has created a nation where pleasure has been reduced to schadenfreude, taking pleasure in other people’s failures.
9. The American Dream is living apart from the rest in a gated community, insulated with satellite TV, wireless Internet, techno-gadgets that keep us “connected” in the most unreal way. America is a good place to be lonely. People are not as lonely in other countries. Weiner points out that Latino cultures bring their family unity from other countries to America and that they rank higher than other Americans on the happiness index.
10. American consumerism is a religion that possessed most Americans and makes the shopping mall America’s Holy Temple. Of course, such worship traps consumers in the hedonic treadmill, leading to numbness and ennui.
Why Parallelism Is Important:
For making lists like mapping components in a thesis:
While I generally don’t support US troops going on fools’ errands in the Middle East, we must intervene there now to degrade the terrorist group ISIS because the group’s purpose is to wipeout Western civilization, the group is exacting humanitarian nightmares in the region, the group is using its power to recruit an unprecedented amount of new terrorists, and the need to help our Iraqi allies. (The last component should read “. . . the group is crushing our Iraqi allies.”
Faulty and Correct Versions of Parallel Structure
Margaret Benner's Parallel Structure Lesson
Parallelism
Parallelism’s importance is most apparent when looking at mapping components in a thesis. We want those components to be written in parallel form whether we’re referring to a list of phrases or clauses.
Faulty Parallelism Example
Marijuana should be legalized because it’s safer than alcohol and many pharmaceutical drugs, its medicinal properties; it’s a fool’s errand to wage a war against it, and keeping it illegal increases criminal activity.
Above we have a mix of clauses and phrases. We should correct it by changing all the mapping components to clauses.
Corrected
Marijuana should be legalized because it’s safer than alcohol and many pharmaceutical drugs; it has medicinal properties; it is too common to waste money in a feeble attempt to eradicate it, and in illegal form it results in too much criminal activity.
We use parallelism in all types of writing.
Faulty
The instructor sometimes indulges in bloviating, pontificating, and likes to self-aggrandize.
We see above two gerunds followed by an infinitive, which is a faulty mix.
Corrected
The instructor sometimes indulges in bloviating, pontificating, and self-aggrandizing.
Using parallelism after a colon
Faulty
Kettlebell exercises work on the major muscle groups: thighs, gluteus, back, and make the shoulder muscles bigger.
Corrected
Kettlebell exercises work on the major muscle groups: thighs, gluteus, back, and shoulders.
McMahon Grammar Exercise: Parallelism
Correct the faulty parallelism by rewriting the sentences below.
One. Parenting toddlers is difficult for many reasons, not the least of which is that toddlers contradict everything you ask them to do; they have giant mood swings, and all-night tantrums.
Two. You should avoid all-you-can-eat buffets: They encourage gluttony; they feature fatty, over-salted foods and high sugar content.
Three. I prefer kettlebell training at home than the gym because of the increased privacy, the absence of loud “gym” music, and I’m able to concentrate more.
Four. To write a successful research paper you must adhere to the exact MLA format, employ a variety of paragraph transitions, and writing an intellectually rigorous thesis.
Five. The difficulty of adhering to the MLA format is that the rules are frequently being updated, the sheer abundance of rules you have to follow, and to integrate your research into your essay.
Six. You should avoid watching “reality shows” on TV because they encourage a depraved form of voyeurism; they distract you from your own problems, and their brain-dumbing effects.
Seven. I’m still fat even though I’ve tried the low-carb diet, the Paleo diet, the Rock-in-the-Mouth diet, and fasting every other day.
Eight. To write a successful thesis, you must have a compelling topic, a sophisticated take on that topic, and developing a thesis that elevates the reader’s consciousness to a higher level.
Nine. Getting enough sleep, exercising daily, and the importance of a positive attitude are essential for academic success.
Ten. My children never react to my calm commands or when I beg them to do things.
Lesson on Finding and Evaluating Sources for Your Research Paper (adapted from Practical Argument, Second Edition)
When you use sources for a research paper, the sources supplement your ideas; however, it should be clear the sources do not take over the writing of your essay. Your voice, your knowledge, your deep thinking about the issue are all on center stage of your essay.
Some people say a research paper is 80 percent your words and another 20 percent of quotations, paraphrases, and summary from your research sources. That sounds about right.
Your college library has a Website, containing its online catalog, electronic databases, and reference works.
Evaluating Sources
You must assess six things to determine if a source is worthy of being used for your research paper.
The author’s objectivity or fairness (author is not biased)
The author’s credibility (peer reviewed, read by experts)
The source’s relevance
The source’s currency (source is up-to-date)
The source’s comprehensiveness (source has sufficient depth)
The author’s authority (author’s credentials and experience render him or her an expert in the field)
Warning Signs of a Poor Online Source
Site has advertising
Some company or other sponsors site
A political organization or special interest group sponsors the site.
The site has many links to other biased sites.
Summarizing Sources
“A summary restates the main idea of a passage in concise terms” (314).
A typical summary is one or two sentences.
A summary does not contain your opinions or analysis.
Paraphrasing Sources
A paraphrase, which is longer than a summary, contains more details and examples. Sometimes you need to be more specific than a summary to make sure your reader understands you.
A paraphrase does not include your opinions or analysis.
Quoting Sources
Quoting sources means you are quoting exactly what you are referring to in the text with no modifications, which might twist the author’s meaning.
You should avoid long quotations as much as possible.
Quote only when necessary. Rely on summary and paraphrase before resorting to direct quotes.
A good time to use a specific quote is when it’s an opposing point that you want to refute.
Using Signal Phrases or Identifying Tag to Introduce Summary, Paraphrase, and Quoted Material
According to Jeff McMahon, the grading rubric in English classes is used in such a way by instructors that soon there will be no such thing as an “easy” or “hard” professor. They’ll all be the same.
Jeff McMahon notes that the grading rubric in English classes is used in such a way by instructors that soon there will be no such thing as an “easy” or “hard” professor. They’ll all be the same.
The grading rubric in English classes is used in such a way by instructors, Jeff McMahon observes, that soon there will be no such thing as an “easy” or “hard” professor.
The grading rubric in English classes is used in such a way by instructors that soon there will be no such thing as an “easy” or “hard” professor, Jeff McMahon points out.
Grammar Review (what should have been covered in 1A)
McMahon Grammar Exercise: Identifying Phrases, Independent Clauses, and Dependent Clauses
Identify the group of words in bold type as phrase, independent clause, or dependent clause.
One. Toward the monster’s palace, we see a white marble fountain jettisoning chocolate fudge all over the other giants.
Two. Before going to school, Gerard likes to make sure he’s packed his chocolate chip cookies and bagels.
Three. Because Jack’s love of eating pizza every night cannot be stopped, he finds his cardio workouts to be rather worthless.
Four. Maria finds the Lexus preferable to the BMW because of the Lexus’ lower repair costs.
Five. Greg does not drive at night because he suffers from poor nocturnal eyesight.
Six. Whenever Greg drives past HomeTown Buffet, he is overcome with depression and nausea.
Seven. People who eat at Cinnabon, according to Louis C.K., always look miserable over their poor life decisions.
Eight. After eating at Cinnabon and HomeTown Buffet, Gary has to eat a bottle of antacids.
Nine. Towards the end of the date, Gary decided to ask Maria if she’d care for another visit to HomeTown Buffet.
Ten. Whenever Maria is in the presence of a gluttonous gentleman, she withdraws into her shell.
Eleven. Greg watched Maria recoil into her shell while biting her nails.
Twelve. Greg watched Maria recoil into her private universe while she bit her nails.
Thirteen. Eating at all-you-can-eat buffets will expand the circumference of your waistline.
Fourteen. Larding your essay with grammatical errors will result in a low grade.
Fifteen. My favorite pastime is larding my essay with grammatical errors.
Sixteen. Larding my body with chocolate chunk peanut butter cookies followed by several gallons of milk, I wondered if I should skip dinner that evening.
Seventeen. After contemplating the benefits of going on a variation of the Paleo diet, I decided I was at peace being a fat man with a strong resemblance to the Pillsbury Dough Boy.
Eighteen. In the 1970s few people would consider eating bugs as their main source of protein although today world-wide food shortages have compelled a far greater percentage of the human race to entertain this unpleasant possibility.
Nineteen. Because of increased shortages in worldwide animal protein, more and more people are looking to crickets, grasshoppers, and grubs as possible complete protein amino acid alternatives.
Twenty. The percentage of people getting married in recent years has significantly declined as an economic malaise has deflated confidence in the viability of sustaining a long-term marriage.
Twenty-one. Before you decide to marry someone, consider two things: your temperament and your economic prospects.
Twenty-two. To understand the pitfalls of getting married prematurely is to embark on the road to greater wisdom.
Twenty-three. To know me is to love me.
Twenty-four. To languish in the malignant juices of self-pity after breaking up with your girlfriend is to fall down the rabbit hole of moral dissolution and narcissism.
Twenty-five. Having considered the inevitable disappointment of being rich, I decided not to rob a bank.
Twenty-six. Watching TV on a sticky vinyl sofa all day, I noticed I was developing bedsores.
Twenty-seven. While I watched TV for twenty consecutive hours, I began to wonder if life was passing me by.
Twenty-eight. Under the bridge where a swarm of mosquitos gathered, the giant belched.
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