Sentence Fragments Part II
There are 6 fragment types.
Fragment 1: Dependent Clause
If you don’t try driving both family sedans during the same day under similar driving conditions. You will not be able to make an informed decision.
I become discouraged. Whenever I contemplate the various approaches to teaching writing to students who are intimidated by complicated grammar principles.
I take deep breaths and think of my power yoga workout. As I drive to school wondering how I’ll avoid my propensity for road rage.
Whenever I read over the comma splice error corrections my draconian English instructor marks with bright red ink on my typed essays and feel the sting of embarrassment, discouragement, and chagrin. I wonder if I need to make an appointment with a grammar tutor.
Since I am prone to whining and finding misery even in the happiest of circumstances. I believe I should write an essay about our need to resist complaining and our need to face suffering with dignity and courage.
As Roland Beavers jockeyed for position next to Costco's giant front doors a minute before opening and mad-dogged the potential competition for getting into the store first. He realized he needed to go to the bathroom.
Whenever I make dan dan noodles with hot chili oil, mushrooms, and sesame paste. I make sure to add a dash of Chinese cinnamon and Sichuan peppercorns.
Fragment 2: Participle phrase
Engaged to the lovely Clara. Jim felt an inner peace he had never known before.
Concerned that he’ll get cancer if he’s too close to the TV. Bernie watches his television from his back yard with a pair of binoculars.
Bernie watches TV in the back yard. Unconcerned about the skin cancer he may get from too much sun exposure.
Corrected
Unconcerned about the skin cancer he may get from too much sun exposure, Bernie watches TV in the back yard.
Fragment 3: Infinitive phrase
Feeling the incipient stages of a heart attack, Bernie felt his chest ache in the expensive restaurant while sitting across from Clara. To explain why he was breaking up with her less than a week before their planned wedding.
Corrected
Feeling the incipient stages of a heart attack, Bernie felt his chest ache in the expensive restaurant while sitting across from Clara and preparing to explain why he was breaking up with her less than a week before their planned wedding.
Larson bought Clara a new Mercedes. To show her the depth of his love for her.
Corrected
To show the depth of love he had for Clara, Larson bought her a new Mercedes.
Clara talked to her brother Manny and then her older sister Jane. To understand men better.
Corrected
To understand men better, Clara talked to her brother Manny and then her older sister Jane.
Fragment 4: Afterthought
My favorite food in the whole world is pizza. Especially pesto sausage sprinkled with Tajin seasoning.
Corrected
My favorite food in the whole world is pizza, especially pesto sausage sprinkled with Tajin seasoning.
Clara is so sick of dating charming albeit unstable men. Like the previous three men she dated.
Corrected
Clara is so sick of dating charming albeit unstable men like the previous three men she dated.
I’m taking steps to lose weight and re-gain my precious self-esteem. Such as resuming with my power yoga workouts, avoiding television, and sticking to my Paleo diet.
Corrected
I’m taking steps to lose weight and re-gain my precious self-esteem such as resuming with my power yoga workouts, avoiding television, and sticking to my Paleo diet.
Essays will be marked down for having MLA format violations. Including faulty pagination, paragraph indentions, line spacing, and Works Cited hanging indent.
Corrected
Essays will be marked down for having MLA format violations, including faulty pagination, paragraph indentions, line spacing, and Works Cited hanging indent.
Larson vowed he would never marry. Except for the rare case that the prospective wife was Salma Hayek’s doppelgänger.
Corrected
Larson vowed he would never marry except for the rare case that the prospective wife was Salma Hayek’s doppelgänger.
Fragment 5: Lonely Verb (verb phrase without a subject)
After dinner at Shakey’s Pizza, Larson wondered if Clara was Salma Hayek’s doppelgänger. And if he should let Clara take the leftover pizza home to show her how much he cared about her.
Corrected
After dinner at Shakey’s Pizza, Larson wondered if Clara was Salma Hayek’s doppelgänger and if he should let Clara take the leftover pizza home to show her how much he cared about her.
Clara told Larson that if he ever mentioned the words “Salma Hayek” and “doppelgänger” again, she would shun him. And tell all her girlfriends what a creepy little homunculus he was.
Corrected
Clara told Larson that if he ever mentioned the words “Salma Hayek” and “doppelgänger” again, she would shun him and tell all her girlfriends what a creepy little homunculus he was.
Fragment 6: Appositive (group of words that rename the noun)
As much as Larson loved Clara, he would not let her drive his BMW. The Ultimate Driving Machine.
Corrected
As much as Larson loved Clara, he would not let her drive his BMW, the Ultimate Driving Machine.
Clara decided she would warn her girlfriends about Larson. A creepy, unctuous, sycophantic homunculus.
Corrected
Clara decided she would warn her girlfriends about Larson, a creepy, unctuous, sycophantic homunculus.
Find Fragments in the Following Paragraph
When Clara woke up that clement morning, nothing could prepare her for her date with Larson Mountebank. A man she only knew through a friend. Larson was an attorney from the Santa Monica area. Though he claimed he was from Chicago. His claim to fame was winning big auto collision cases for clients with alleged back injuries. Including clients with other injuries as well. Larson had made lots of money. Relying on false claims for the bulk of his income. But Clara decided to give Larson a chance. Not knowing how sleazy he really was. For example, his two-faced manner. Including his tendency to exaggerate about the amount of money he made.
Five. Essay Option for Social Media and Its Alleged Pathologies
Addressing Sherry Turkle, Curtis Silver (444), Keith O'Brien (464) and other writers covered in class, support, refute, or complicate the argument that social media is the cause of major social pathologies. Specifically, does Sherry Turkle exaggerate the link between social media and social pathology, or is her analysis insightful and convincing? Explain in an argumentative essay.
A Closer, More Detailed Look at the Writing Assignment
The essays in Chapter 6 address the alleged pathologies resulting from social media. These pathologies include an empathy deficit, narcissism, shortened attention span, online shaming, and even altered brain development.
In an argumentative essay, support, refute, or complicate the assertion that social media is harmful for our social, cultural and intellectual development. You will need 3 sources for your Works Cited page.
Possible Refutation Source:
The New Yorker Essay About How Kids Don't Read Takes the "Get Off My Lawn Genre" to New Depths by Katy Waldman
Your guidelines for your Final Research Paper are as follows:
This research paper should present a thesis that is specific, manageable, provable, and contestable—in other words, the thesis should offer a clear position, stand, or opinion that will be proven with research.
You should analyze and prove your thesis using examples and quotes from a variety of sources.
You need to research and cite from at least five sources. You must use at least 3 different types of sources.
At least one source must be from an ECC library database.
At least one source must be a book, anthology or textbook.
At least one source must be from a credible website, appropriate for academic use.
The paper should not over-rely on one main source for most of the information. Rather, it should use multiple sources and synthesize the information found in them.
This paper will be approximately 4-5 pages in length, not including the Works Cited page, which is also required. The Works Cited page does NOT count towards length requirement.
You must use MLA format for the document, in-text citations, and Works Cited page.
You must integrate quotations and paraphrases using signal phrases and analysis or commentary.
You must sustain your argument, use transitions effectively, and use correct grammar, spelling, and punctuation.
Your paper must be logically organized and focused.
The Atlantic article, "Is Facebook Making Us Lonely?" could be a research link.
Another worthy research link is The New Yorker article "How Facebook Makes Us Unhappy."
Sample Thesis in Support of Turkle
We ignore Turkle's warning about the way technology is degrading our humanity at our own peril. The evidence supports Turkle's contention that technology, especially social media, is bringing us down "dark places we don't want to go," evidenced by our inability to be alone, our addiction to false connection, and our acclimation to anti-social behavior.
Sample Thesis That Refutes Turkle
While Turkle makes some cogent points about the dangers of social media, her technology diatribe collapses under the weight of evidence that shows other forces, not social media, are dehumanizing us and making us lonely. These forces include Sturgeon's Law, economic collapse, and suburban sprawl.
Sample Thesis That Defends Turkle
While I concede that Sturgeon's Law, economic collapse, and suburban sprawl contribute to the loneliness and social pathology evident in our digital age, these factors do not diminish in any way Turkle's examination of the manner in which technology and social media interact to degrade our humanity in many ways including _____________, ______________, __________________, and _____________________.
Thesis That Defends Turkle
While there are many forces that are resulting in loneliness, Turkle has her finger on the pulse of one of the most virulent causes of self-imposed isolation: social media, which attacks our humanity by making us prefer control over intimacy, making us fear being alone, making us lose our empathy, and making us atrophy our conversation skills.
Avoid the Thesis Summary Trap
You can fall into a trap of summarizing the author’s points when you are in agreement with the author.
Here’s an example of a Summary Trap Thesis:
While her argument is not without flaws, Sherry Turkle persuasively demonstrates that social media is resulting in superficial connections, loss of empathy, narcissism, and constant-attention anxiety.
By supporting the mapping components above, you’re simply summarizing Turkle’s essay and/or Ted Talk.
The solution is to emphasize a defense of the author by refuting her opponents.
Here's a defense of Turkle without a summary:
While Turkle could balance her social media critique by showing more of its benefits, her claim that social media is creating superficial connections, loss of empathy, and constant-attention anxiety stands up to those critics who argue that these pathologies are the result of Sturgeon's Law, economic downfall, and suburban isolation.
Here’s an example of a Refutation Thesis of Turkle's Opponents:
While her argument is not without flaws especially her failure to complicate her narrative with examples of people flourishing in their social media connections, Sherry Turkle’s warning about the human degradation resulting from the misuse of social media remains convincing in the face of her opponents’ objections, including the charge that we don’t have enough long-term data to support her claims; Turkle posits an over simplistic either/or fallacy with her conversation-connection paradigm; and Turkle’s social media critique is a thinly-veiled diatribe against Millennials.
Final Essay
The essays in Chapter 6 address the alleged pathologies resulting from social media. These pathologies include an empathy deficit, narcissism, shortened attention span, online shaming, and even altered brain development.
In an argumentative essay, support, refute, or complicate the assertion that social media is harmful for our social, cultural and intellectual development. Be sure to address at least two essays from Chapter 6. One of the essays can be used as a source. You will need at least 4 other sources for a total of 5 sources.
Here are some more thesis attempts:
Thesis 1
While I’ll concede that there are mindless consumers of social media who evidence the pathologies described by Sherry Turkle, her overall argument that society as a whole is replacing the full humanity of conversation for dehumanized connections is overstated when we consider that many of us are productively harnessing these technologies after an initial addiction phase, that many of us can embrace these technological connections without losing our conversational relationships (yes, we can chew gum and walk at the same time, Turkle), and that Sturgeon’s Law (90% of everything is crap) does not justify throwing away the “baby with the bathwater.”
Thesis 2
I am willing to concede that many of us can adapt to the gadgets that entice us into the world of social media. I will further concede that many of us can connect and converse simultaneously. However, let us not fool ourselves by minimizing the damage brought on by the juggernaut of social media. Let us instead take a close look at Turkle’s argument, that even mature, healthy-minded consumers of social media are being seduced into cheap connections that are degrading their empathy, friendships, self-reflection, solitude, and meaningful connections. Turkle’s argument holds up to the scrutiny of empirical evidence, rigorous research, sound logic, and keen psychological insight and encourages us to approach our gadgets with healthy moderation.
Thesis 3
The problem with addressing Turkle’s argument is that different age groups tend to react differently to social media. While most adults adapt to social media and eventually find a balance between superficial connections and deep conversation, youngsters and teenagers are the most vulnerable to the pathologies that result from social media addiction. Young people mired in social media are afflicted with the disease of fame, empathy loss, and mass shaming.
Thesis 4
We’ve always had mindless consumers, addicts, social degenerates, depressives, narcissists, dysfunctional solipsists, and the like. To use them as a reason to be weary of social media is a fallacy evident in Turkle’s argument, which is sodden with exaggeration, generational hostility toward Millennials, and oversimplifications.
Thesis 5
Through empirical research, cogent psychological insight, lucid logic, and compelling anecdotage, Turkle convincingly demonstrates that social media does not merely dehumanize society’s socially dysfunctional outliers but degrades even the best of us.
Thesis 6
Those who are quick to dismiss Turkle’s warning that we are becoming a culture of connectors, not real talkers, fail to grasp the underlying psychology that supports Turkle’s claim. The underlying psychology pertains to our default setting for the path of least resistance, our maladaptation for superficial online friendships, or what I call “low-hanging fruit,” and the economic and time demands that encourage us even further to be seduced by social media’s counterfeit, dehumanizing, time-saving friendships.
Thesis 7
It chafes me to see McMahon brainwash his students with the Sherry Turkle Kool-Aid, especially since my teacher is so egregiously misguided on this topic. For one, McMahon fails to see that while social media results in a certain amount of loneliness, depression, and narcissism, it's better than not having social media at all. Economic necessity and time limits push us into our social media as the communication of “last resort.” For another thing, McMahon, you or Sherry Turkle notwithstanding, the technology isn’t going to go away or to abate. To forego our gadgets would be to withdraw even deeper into the loneliness ecosphere and become social pariahs. The third thing that collapses your argument, McMahon, is that you fail to see that most of us since our infancy have been deprived of the interactive and linguistic skills to have the kind of conversations you and Turkle wish us to have. We are simply doing the best we can with the tools provided us. We are not, as Turkle is, privileged to enter some superior world of conversation. Finally, you need to face the fact that sometimes in life we take what we can get, even compromised, inferior versions of communication. If you and Turkle want to ride your little intellectual bromance and scold society for not living up to your conversational expectations, that’s on you. But I can tell you, most of us are contentedly acclimated to the social media gadgets we have and the limited communications that result from them. Don’t take away what little joys we have, and please mind your own business. Just a final reminder, McMahon: You promised not to give a bad grade to students who disagree with you, even someone who opposes you with the vehemence you see here. Here’s your chance for fairness, McMahon. Are you with me?
Thesis 8
The student who so vociferously objects to McMahon’s claim that social media results in social pathologies is profoundly misguided. To say that we should settle for compromised forms of social media connection is, contrary to McMahon’s high expectations for us, a form of self-debasement that makes McMahon cringe with sorrow and despair. Secondly, the student’s shrill and alarmist notion that fully realized conversation is a pastime reserved only for the privileged bourgeois is a fallacious argument disconnected from the empirical evidence that shows that since the beginning of time people of all economic stratums have been able to converse with detailed authenticity and meaningful connection. This acrimonious, unreasonable student is throwing a class-warfare canard at McMahon, and this student’s canard has hit the ground with a lame thud. Finally, McMahon’s argument is not, as the ill-advised student would have us believe, based on a “bromance” with Sherry Turkle; rather, McMahon wants his students to exercise moderation, prudence, and mindfulness in their social media activities so that they can cultivate the meaningful conversations they deserve.
"Stop Googling, Let's Talk" by Sherry Turkle
"The Touch-Screen Generation" by Hanna Rosin
One. What is dangerous about being able to access stimulation at the swipe of a finger?
The sense of entitlement, impatience, and delusional omnipotence (resulting in fussiness) could point to a transformation into a brat generation.
Another danger is parent laziness syndrome. "Give them the iPad. That'll shut 'em up."
What really speaks to the danger of screen time is that the very apps developers Rosin talks to limit their own children's screen time. Some allow for no screen time.
Two. What is the technological neurosis of our digital age?
We read, "By their pinched reactions, these parents illuminated for me the neurosis of our age: as technology becomes ubiquitous in our lives, American parents are becoming more, not less, wary of what it might be doing to their children."
Parents want their children to master technology. However, they don't want their children to be anti-social: "Otherwise, their child could end up one of those sad, pale creatures who can't make eye contact and has an avatar for a girlfriend."
Part of the fear lies in the unknown. The iPad is so new as of Rosin's essay (published in 2013) that there is not yet any research on its effects on a child's brain.
The new generation are "digital natives"; they grow up fluent in the language of computers, tablets and other devices.
The tablet is a "rattle on steroids," easy to use and quickly sucks the toddler into its world.
Parents are terrified by the transformation they see in their children: "the zombie effect." They go into a trance.
Three. What counterarguments would opponents offer to those who are opposed to iPads?
For one, "Every new medium has, within a short time of its introduction, been condemned as a threat to young people. Pulp novels . . . TV . . ."
For two, if your child has an addictive personality, he may glom onto anything, if not the iPad.
For three, there is evidence that the iPad is an effective educational tool.
For four, too many parents treat the iPad like "junk food," using it "for passing the time in a frivolous way . . ." and the children "will fully absorb that attitude, and the neurosis will be passed to the next generation to the next generation." In other words, the parents, not the iPad, are at fault.
For five, more and more research is showing that iPads are effective tools for helping autistic children.
In-Class
Write your thesis for Essay #3 and show me.
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