Homework #8:
Read Julia Belluz’s “We’re barely using the best tool we have to fight obesity” and in a 3-paragraph essay analyze the causes of Bulluz’s optimism about bariatric surgery.
More Sources on Bariatric Surgery
Personal Stories in New York Times
Prewriting Thoughts from McMahon
We will find that bariatric surgery in various forms, with the exception of the lapband, is largely effective, but that it comes with a price: malnutrition such as vitamin and mineral deficiencies; ulcers, acid reflux, gastrointestinal bleeding, hernias, stomach pain, bowel obstruction, and vomiting. We will find that this surgery has benefits: 30% loss of weight, changes in hormones like insulin, changes in Set Point, reduced diabetes 2, possibility for romance, higher self-confidence.
It would appear that to submit oneself to such an extreme surgery one's life would have to be extreme in obesity, health risks, and general depressive misery.
In other words, there is a larger point here: When our lives become extreme in misery, we are more compelled to take on extreme measures even when those measures present us with risk, pain, and harmful side effects. We can conclude that for some of us life exists only on a Misery Scale, and we must make a choice between Misery 10 and Misery 6.2 or some such subjective calculation.
If we feel the less misery of bariatric surgery is significantly less than the misery of our current obesity, we choose the surgery.
We also have to throw one more factor in the mix: The medical community doesn't tell us all the risks that ensue with their procedures because they are not as regulated as we believe. We can see evidence to this claim by the documentary on Netflix, The Bleeding Edge.
10-8 Homework #7: Read Leslie Morgan Steiner’s “Who Becomes a Surrogate?” and analyze the tensions between paying parents and paid surrogate in a 3-paragraph essay. We will also read part of “Is a Surrogate a Mother?” by Michelle Goldberg and look for updates on the horrible case of Melissa Cook.
Essay #3 Options Due 10-22-18
You need minimum of 3 sources for your MLA Works Cited page.
Option One. In the context of “Prudence Or Cruelty?” by Nicholas Kristoff, develop an argument that defends, refutes, or complicates Kristoff’s claim that food stamps are an essential good for the vulnerable population.
Option Two. In the contest of Leslie Morgan Steiner’s “Who Becomes a Surrogate?”, defend, support, or complicate the assertion that surrogate motherhood is a moral abomination or at the very least too tied up with legal complications to make it a viable and moral service.
Option Three. In the context of Julia Belluz’s “We’re barely using the best tool we have to fight obesity,” develop a thesis that argues for or against the effectiveness and safety of bariatric surgery.
Option Four. Read Linda Tirado’s famous blog post “This Is Why Poor People’s Bad Decisions Make Perfect Sense” and Derek Thompson’s “Your Brain on Poverty” and develop a thesis that defends, refutes, or complicates the assertion that Tirado and Thompson’s essays are guilty of painting the poor as helpless victims and as a result doing a disservice to the poor.
"Is a Surrogate a Mother?" by Michelle Goldberg
The Hill chronicles the heart-breaking case of Melissa Cook.
One. What is a typical surrogate mom situation?
A woman hits about 40 because she's worked during that time, she has a lot of financial resources, and she realizes she's too old to bear a child, so she seeks a younger, less financially endowed woman.
The dynamic of power is someone with money buying someone's body and that body belongs to a someone of modest financial means.
An aside: Just like the documentary we saw on temporary work, whenever we're short on financial resources we find ourselves vulnerable to sacrificing our bodies to survive.
I'd rather be a surrogate mother than work in a chicken farm.
The total cost is $80,000, and this includes psychological evaluations. However, in India, the total cost is $10,000.
Causes to be Alarmed About Surrogacy:
One. high-risk multiple pregnancies
Two. Tech is getting more advanced resulting in scenarios for which we have no legal precedent.
Three. Lack of screening parents
Four. Class disparity
Five. Lack of regulation and oversight
Netflix
Follow This: "Whose Embryos?"
As we read in "Who Becomes a Surrogate?":
In the United States, statistics show that surrogates fall into the average household income category of under $60,000. About 15 to 20 percent are military wives. Some are single women. Those who are married have husbands who support paid surrogacy; surrogacy is obviously not something you can hide, or withstand with a spouse who is not on board emotionally. They have health insurance. They get paid well—the surrogacy fee paid directly to surrogate mothers who work for CSP runs from $20,000 to $30,000 per pregnancy, tax-free. Experienced surrogates often command higher fees; as in any position, experience counts. Of the women who serve as surrogates for CSP, roughly 35 percent repeat the experience; in the U.S. there is no limit to the number of times a surrogate can carry for-profit babies.
Two. What are the typical steps at attempting pregnancy?
First, the husband and wife have a doctor implant their embryo in a surrogate's womb.
If step one doesn't work, step two is combining the husband's sperm with a surrogate's egg (a donor egg) and implanting into another surrogate's womb.
In the case of Dr. Patel, she increases the chances of success by implanting "about five embryos at at time, aborting fetuses if they numbered more than two."
Three. What common abuses exist in the surrogate market?
See "Surrogate Motherhood: A Violation of Human Rights"
See "Commercial Surrogacy Is a Rigged Market in Wombs for Rent"
See "Reject Commercial Surrogacy As Another Form of Human Trafficking"
See this essay about surrogacy and child abuse.
See this essay about allegations of an unfit father.
Four. What are some ways people might defend surrogacy?
Surrogacy provides a moral solution if safeguards are met. However, one may counter-argue that the legal safeguards are too vulnerable to be upheld.
Surrogacy is evil, but in poor countries it can be the lesser of two evils where families otherwise would make no income. Some may counter-argue that the monetary benefits are short-term and are cancelled by the long-term harm done to the surrogate mother who is often forced into surrogacy by her father.
Surrogacy is sometimes done by a loving family member, a sister, a cousin, for two examples, and the final result is joy for all concerned. Some may counter-argue that these cases are the exception, not the rule, and we shouldn't make policies based on rare occurrences.
Five. What are some unanticipated complications from surrogacy?
We read in Michelle Goldberg's essay "Is a Surrogate a Mother?":
Cook and C.M. are still strangers to each other, but they are locked in a legal battle over both the future of the children she’s going to bear and the institution of surrogacy itself. Because she’s come under pressure to abort one of the fetuses, Cook’s case has garnered some conservative media attention. This story, however, is about much more than the abortion wars. It illustrates some of the thorniest issues plaguing the fertility industry: the creation of high-risk multiple pregnancies, the lack of screening of intended parents, the financial vulnerability of surrogates, and the almost complete lack of regulation around surrogacy in many states.
Even when it’s not corrupt, the industry often tests the limits of bioethics. Steinberg, the doctor who performed Cook’s embryo transfer, was last in the news for marketing embryo screening for hair, eye, and skin color. “This is cosmetic medicine,” he told the Wall Street Journal. “Others are frightened by the criticism but we have no problems with it.” He was a pioneer in the use of IVF for sex selection, and his clinic draws clients from countries around the world where the practice is banned.
“We don’t have good oversight of the whole fertility industry,” says Marcy Darnovsky, executive director of the Center for Genetics and Society in Berkeley, California, and a longtime women’s health advocate. “It’s very underregulated, and we need to be taking that really seriously. California is a surrogacy-friendly state and thinks that it’s doing surrogacy the right way. But there have been enough problems in California that clearly something is not right.”
To Cassidy, a devout Catholic who once studied for the priesthood, surrogacy flouts natural law. Some of his argument on Cook’s behalf is grounded in a romantic defense of motherhood that is unlikely to sway those who don't share his social conservatism. “The cherished role of a mother and her relationship with her child, at every moment of life, has intrinsic worth and beauty; that relationship, its unselfish nature and its role in the survival of the race is the touchstone and core of all civilized society,” he writes in the lawsuit. “Its denigration is the denigration of the human race.” Surrogacy, Cassidy writes, reduces a woman to a “breeding animal” rather than a “whole person who bonds, loves, has emotions or a deep sense of moral, ethical, and emotional commitment to the children she carries and bears.”
One needn’t venerate traditional motherhood, however, to be troubled by Cook’s situation. There are also fundamental feminist issues at stake. Coerced abortion is as much a violation of reproductive autonomy as coerced pregnancy. And whether or not one believes that surrogacy should be legal, Cook’s predicament shows how few protections there are for surrogate mothers when their agreements go bad.
While Cook has continued to receive the monthly payments she is owed for her surrogacy, Walmsley argues that his client would be within his rights to stop them. “It’s becoming ever more difficult for him to literally pay her when she’s sitting here suing him,” Walmsley says. “He might be a bigger man than me, because if somebody were suing me and trying to take away my kids, I would have a difficult time sending them money.”
It’s also unclear who is going to pay Cook’s medical bills. Her insurance carrier, it turns out, does not cover surrogate pregnancies as it does other pregnancies, so she must reimburse the insurance company for half of her expenses, up to the total compensation she’s receiving as a surrogate. (Cassidy maintains that Cook didn’t understand this when she signed the contract.) Walmsley says his client is covering the reimbursements, but Cassidy insists he has not. According to the lawsuit, the insurance company, seeking to recoup its payments, has issued a lien against Cook’s surrogacy fees.
Cook’s doctor recently instructed her to stop working and avoid stress. She’s developed gestational diabetes and, according to Cassidy, may be put on bed rest. She is currently living on disability insurance. “Melissa Cook is now facing a high risk pregnancy which makes the compensation under the contract illusory,” says the lawsuit. “In fact, there is a chance that she will be uncompensated.”
For both sides, however, the heart of the conflict is about custody, not money. With Cook entering her third trimester, the question of abortion has become moot. Barring a stillbirth, there will be three babies. (Cook will reach 32 weeks in March, which is considered full term for triplets.) Now the dispute is about what happens to them. According to Walmsley, C.M. now intends to raise all of them, and it’s immaterial that he was worried about how he’d cope. “Let’s be real here,” Walmsley told me. “Am I prepared to raise triplets? Probably not. Are you?” That doesn’t mean, he says, that C.M. would separate them. “He wants to have his three children and go experience life,” Walmsley says. “That’s his goal, that’s his desire, and unfortunately it’s become a nightmare.”
Cassidy says Cook sympathizes with C.M., but she doesn’t feel she can turn over the children to him. She wants custody of one of them—the one that C.M. wanted her to abort, referred to as Baby C in the complaint. And she’s seeking a hearing to determine the best interests of the other two, whether that means living with their father or with her.
See the case of Melissa Cook. And see additional info from same source.
See OC Register.
Sample Thesis
A close examination of the surrogate motherhood industry reveals it to be a moral abomination evidenced by _______________, ________________, _______________, and ___________________.
Thesis That Defends Surrogacy
With the right regulations, surrogate motherhood can be a viable alternative for couples who depend on this method as way of becoming parents. We're not going to stop the business, so we should regulate it. We shouldn't deprive couples of free choice. In the free market, the transaction can be mutually beneficial.
Thesis That Condemns Surrogacy
Aspiring parents tempted by the promises of surrogacy, do not be deceived. Technology is not a Fairy God Mother who grants us our procreation wishes. Money is not a ticket to gratify our prenatal dreams. Neither technology nor money can cure the moral and legal woes that make surrogate motherhood a deal with the devil worthy of abolishment. That surrogacy must be abolished is evident when we examine _______________, __________________, ___________________, and __________________.
Another Thesis That Condemns Surrogacy
While I want to be fair and acknowledge that there are some instances of healthy surrogate births, the overwhelming evidence shows huge opportunities for abuse for all parties involved. My research shows that children of surrogates suffer from high degrees of depression, surrogate mothers want the child and create a legal nightmare for the family, surrogate mothers and their children alike are treated like commodities, many surrogate children, deemed undesirable, are abandoned, and worst of all, situations bringing up about child slavery have been reported.
According to Andrea A. Lunsford in The St. Martin’s Handbook, Eight Edition, there are 20 writing errors that merit “The Top 20.”
One. Wrong word: Confusing one word for another.
Here's a list of wrong word usage.
A full-bodied red wine compliments the Pasta Pomodoro.
Compliment is a to say something nice about someone. "You look nice in that pumpkin polo shirt. Very nice pumpkin accents."
Complement is to complete or match well with something. "This full-bodied red wine complements the spaghetti."
The BMW salesman excepted my counteroffer of 55K for the sports sedan.
The word should be accepted.
Kryptonite effects Superman in such a way that he loses his powers.
Effect is a noun. Affect is a verb, so it should be the following:
Kryptonite affects Superman in a such a way that he loses his powers.
Confusing their and there
There superpowers were compromised by the Gamma rays.
We need to use the possessive plural pronoun their.
Two. Missing comma after an introductory phrase or clause
Terrified of slimy foods, Robert hid behind the restaurant’s dumpster.
In spite of my aversion to rollercoasters, I attended the carnival with my family.
Three. Incomplete documentation
Noted dietician and nutritionist Mike Manderlin observes that, “Dieting is a mental illness.”
It should read:
Noted dietician and nutritionist Mike Manderlin observes that, “Dieting is a mental illness” (277).
Four. Vague Pronoun Reference
Focusing on the pecs during your Monday-Wednesday-Friday workouts is a way of giving you more time to work on your quads and glutes and specializing on the way they’re used in different exercises.
Before Jennifer screamed at Brittany, she came to the conclusion that she was justified in stealing her boyfriend.
Five. Spelling (including homonyms, words that have same spelling but different meanings)
No one came forward to bare witness to the crime.
No one came forward to bear witness to the crime.
Every where we went, we saw fast food restaurants.
Everywhere we went, we saw fast food restaurants.
Love is a disease. It’s sickness derives from its power to intoxicate and create capricious, short-term infatuation.
Its sickness derives from its power to intoxicate and create capricious, short-term infatuation.
Six. Mechanical error with a quotation
In his best-selling book Love Is a Virus from Outer Space, noted psychologist Michael M. Manderlin asserts that, “Falling in love is a form of madness for which there is no cure”.
In his best selling book Love Is a Virus from Outer Space, noted psychologist Michael M. Manderlin asserts that, “Falling in love is a form of madness for which there is no cure.”
In his best selling book Love Is a Virus from Outer Space, noted psychologist Michael M. Manderlin asserts that, “Falling in love is a form of madness for which there is no cure” (18).
“It forever stuns me that people make life decisions based on something as fickle and capricious as love”, Michael Manderlin writes (22).
“It forever stuns me that people make life decisions based on something as fickle and capricious as love,” Michael Manderlin writes (22).
Seven. Unnecessary comma
I need to workout when at home, and while taking vacations.
You do however use a comma if the comma is between two independent clauses:
I need to workout at home, and when I go on vacations, I bring my yoga mat to hotels.
I need to workout every day, because I’m addicted to the exercise-induced dopamine.
You do however use a comma after a dependent clause beginning with because:
Because I’m addicted to exercise-induced dopamine, I need to workout everyday.
Peaches, that are green, taste hideous.
The above is an example of an independent clause with a essential information or restrictive information. Not all peaches taste hideous, only green ones. The meaning of the entire sentence needs the dependent clause so there are no commas.
However, if the clause is additional information, the clause is called nonessential or nonrestrictive, and we do use commas:
Peaches, which are on sale at Whole Foods, are my favorite fruit.
Eight. Unnecessary or missing capitalization
Some Traditional Chinese Medicines containing Ephedraremain legal.
We only use capital letters for proper nouns, proper adjectives, first words of sentences, important words in titles, along with certain words indicating directions and family relationships.
Nine. Missing word
The site foreman discriminated women and promoted men with less experience.
The site foreman discriminated against women and promoted men with less experience.
Chris’ behavior becomes bizarre that his family asks for help.
Chris’ behavior becomes so bizarre that his family asks for help.
Ten. Faulty sentence structure
The information which high school athletes are presented with mainly includes information on what credits needed to graduate and thinking about the college which athletes are trying to play for, and apply.
A sentence that starts out with one kind of structure and then changes to another kind can confuse readers. Make sure that each sentence contains a subject and a verb, that subjects and predicates make sense together, and that comparisons have clear meanings. When you join elements (such as subjects or verb phrases) with a coordinating conjunction, make sure that the elements have parallel structures.
The reason I prefer yoga at home to the gym is because I prefer privacy.
I prefer yoga at home to the gym because of privacy.
11. Missing Comma with a Nonrestrictive Element
Marina who was the president of the club was the first to speak.
The clause who was the president of the club does not affect the basic meaning of the sentence: Marina was the first to speak.
A nonrestrictive element gives information not essential to the basic meaning of the sentence. Use commas to set off a nonrestrictive element.
12. Unnecessary Shift in Verb Tense
Priya was watching the great blue heron. Then she slips and falls into the swamp.
Verbs that shift from one tense to another with no clear reason can confuse readers.
13. Missing Comma in a Compound Sentence
Meredith waited for Samir and her sister grew impatient.
Without the comma, a reader may think at first that Meredith waited for both Samir and her sister.
A compound sentence consists of two or more parts that could each stand alone as a sentence. When the parts are joined by a coordinating conjunction, use a comma before the conjunction to indicate a pause between the two thoughts.
14. Unnecessary or Missing Apostrophe (including its/it's)
Overambitious parents can be very harmful to a childs well-being.
The car is lying on it's side in the ditch. Its a white 2004 Passat.
To make a noun possessive, add either an apostrophe and an s (Ed's book) or an apostrophe alone (the boys' gym). Do not use an apostrophe in the possessive pronouns ours, yours, and hers. Useits to mean belong to it; use it's only when you mean it is or it has.
15. Fused (run-on) sentence
Klee's paintings seem simple, they are very sophisticated.
She doubted the value of medication she decided to try it once.
A fused sentence (also called a run-on) joins clauses that could each stand alone as a sentence with no punctuation or words to link them. Fused sentences must be either divided into separate sentences or joined by adding words or punctuation.
16. Comma Splice
I was strongly attracted to her, she was beautiful and funny.
We hated the meat loaf, the cafeteria served it every Friday.
A comma splice occurs when only a comma separates clauses that could each stand alone as a sentence. To correct a comma splice, you can insert a semicolon or period, connect the clauses with a word such as and or because, or restructure the sentence.
17. Lack of pronoun/antecedent agreement
Every student must provide their own uniform.
Pronouns must agree with their antecedents in gender (male or female) and in number (singular or plural). Many indefinite pronouns, such as everyone and each, are always singular. When a singular antecedent can refer to a man or woman, either rewrite the sentence to make the antecedent plural or to eliminate the pronoun, or use his or her, he or she, and so on. When antecedents are joined by or or nor, the pronoun must agree with the closer antecedent. A collection noun such as team can be either singular or plural, depending on whether the members are seen as a group or individuals.
18. Poorly Integrated Quotation
A 1970s study of what makes food appetizing "Once it became apparent that the steak was actually blue and the fries were green, some people became ill" (Schlosser 565).
Corrected
In a 1970s study about what makes food appetizing, we read, "Once it became apparent that the steak was actually blue and the fries were green, some people became ill" (Schlosser 565).
"Dumpster diving has serious drawbacks as a way of life" (Eighner 383). Finding edible food is especially tricky.
Corrected
"Dumpster diving has serious drawbacks as a way of life," we read in Eighner's book (383). One of the drawbacks is that finding food can be especially difficult.
Quotations should fit smoothly into the surrounding sentence structure. They should be linked clearly to the writing around them (usually with a signal phrase) rather than dropped abruptly into the writing.
19. Missing or Unnecessary Hyphen
This paper looks at fictional and real life examples.
A compound adjective modifying a noun that follows it requires a hyphen.
The buyers want to fix-up the house and resell it.
A two-word verb should not be hyphenated. A compound adjective that appears before a noun needs a hyphen. However, be careful not to hyphenate two-word verbs or word groups that serve as subject complements.
20. Sentence Fragment
No subject
Marie Antoinette spent huge sums of money on herself and her favorites. And helped to bring on the French Revolution.
No complete verb
The aluminum boat sitting on its trailer.
Beginning with a subordinating word
We returned to the drugstore. Where we waited for our buddies.
A sentence fragment is part of a sentence that is written as if it were a complete sentence. Reading your draft out loud, backwards, sentence by sentence, will help you spot sentence fragments.
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