Sunken Place Lesson #1 for Fall 2023

 

A college professor who saw my 10-minute YouTube video rant about teaching college writing in the age of ChatGPT, and he let me know that he is writing a book about this subject. For one, he said there are dozens of alternative A.I. word processors that are giving ChatGPT a run for its money. For two, these word processors write about 70% as effectively as a literate human, which “is good enough for most people doing most tasks.” A high school principal will spend 5 minutes having ChatGPT write a memo rather than write one herself for two hours. A district manager of a Banana Republic will spend 5 minutes having ChatGPT write a job training manual rather than write one herself for 10 hours. A college administrator will spend 2 hours having ChatGPT write a grant proposal rather than spend 60 hours. My conclusion is that the college writing instructor is in a state of transition. ChatGPT and its ilk produce expositions that hinge on the quality of the prompt or inquiry. Therefore, college writing instructors will in the next decade train students how to ask these A.I. platforms the right questions, how to compose useful writing tasks, and how to create professional documents. I would also speculate that the thousands of prompts we put in these A.I. platforms will be analyzed and ranked, and we will be assigned a ranking on a hierarchy, which will be a factor in hiring people applying for jobs in the managerial class, including academic occupations. 

 

Defining the Sunken Place

The Assignment:

In a 1,200-word essay with 5 sources, write an extended definition of the Sunken Place. For your definition, draw from  Jordan Peele's movie Get Out, The Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, Childish Gambino's video "This Is America," and the Max documentary 38 at the Garden.

Recommended Outline:

Paragraph 1: Summarize the major points in "The Philosophy of Get Out--Wisecrack Edition."

Paragraph 2: Develop an extended definition of the Sunken Place. Here are some examples:

The Sunken Place is a state of terror in which the individual must process _________________, ___________________, ____________________, _____________________, and ________________________.

The Sunken Place is a condition of paralysis caused by __________________________, _______________________, _________________________, _________________________, and _____________________________. 

The Sunken Place is a condition of oppression caused by ___________________, ________________________, _______________________, and _____________________________, and it is overcome, Frederick Douglass shows us, through ____________________________, ______________________, and ________________________________. 

Paragraphs 3-7 would fill in the blanks above. 

Paragraph 8, your conclusion, is a powerful restatement of your thesis. 

Works Cited with 5 sources in MLA format. 

***

Building Block #1 for Essay 4 (Due November 27)

Worth 25 points

Write paragraph 1 by summarizing the major points in the YouTube video:“The Philosophy of Get Out--Wisecrack Edition.”

 

***

Building Block Assignment #2 Due December 9

Worth 25 points

For your thesis, write an extended definition of the Sunken Place that breaks it down into its distinguishing characteristics. Here are some examples:

• The Sunken Place is a state of terror in which the individual must process _________________, ___________________, ____________________, _____________________, and ________________________.
• The Sunken Place is a condition of paralysis caused by __________________________, _______________________, _________________________, _________________________, and _____________________________. 
• The Sunken Place is a condition of oppression caused by ___________________, ________________________, _______________________, and _____________________________, and it is overcome, Frederick Douglass shows us, through ____________________________, ______________________, and ________________________________. 

McMahon’s Breakdown of The Sunken Place

In a previous module, I broke down some of the key ingredients of The Sunken Place. Here is a review:

One, it is a state of hypnosis in which we lose our sense of free will and self-agency as we feel we are succumbing to overwhelming forces that strip us of all control and dignity. 

Two, this hypnosis comes from a force that bullies and gaslights us, persuades us that there is no hope for a better life, that the “best thing to do” is to surrender to make the process of losing our freedom as painless as possible. 

Three, The Sunken Place suppresses our scream for help. As observed in Ross A. Lincoln’s “‘Get Out’ Director Jordan Peele Explains ‘The Sunken Place,’” Peele discussed The Sunken Place on Twitter as a state of hopelessness and despair: “We’re all marginalized. No matter how hard we scream, the system silences us.” The Sunken Place is to be marginalized by systemic racism and injustice and to have one’s cries ignored and silenced over and over until one is despondent. 

Four, The Sunken Place triggers a fight-flight response. Triggered by terror, people get a spike in adrenaline, rapid heart rate, dilation of pupils, shaking and trembling, and paralysis. We see this fight-flight response at the end of Childish Gambino’s“This Is America”video. 

Five, The Sunken Place is to be humiliated and abused yet to be told that you’re the one who’s crazy because the perpetrator of your humiliation is innocent. As Jake Skubish writes in his article “Get Out, Ta-Nehisi Coates, and the stories we tell ourselves,” the movie Get Out is about narratives that exalt whiteness and marginalize black people. Whites are part of a grand narrative that “weaponizes the lie of white innocence.” Blacks, on the other hand, are not part of the narrative. Pushed aside, they’re pawns and spectators, told to watch the white narrative obediently from their Sunken Place. 

***

The Sunken Place Defined:

One of the most central themes of the movie Get Out is the Sunken Place, so we have to ask ourselves what it is, and why is it relevant to our lives?

We see the main character Chris Washington sitting in a chair and getting hypnotized by Missy Armitage. He sinks below the chair and falls down a rabbit hole of paralysis and despair. In this state, he feels guilty for not calling 911 when his mother didn’t return home and she ended up dying in a hit-and-run car accident. 

In the Sunken Place, we see that Chris suffers from the following 5 characteristics:

1. He has no control of his body as he is in a state of abject fear and paralysis. But this paralysis is not just fear; it’s passivity and not asserting self-agency. Chris the photographer is a surrogate for Jordan Peele. He cannot allow the managerial class to silence his voice and his story. He needs to be part of the story. 
2. His control has been surrendered to Missy Armitage. She is one of the leaders of the Order of Coagula, a white cult that steals black bodies so they can achieve immortality. She wants to steal Chris Washington’s body. The Order of Coagula is a metaphor for Jim Crow society when black people only existed as servants. 
3. He is overwhelmed by the guilt and trauma of a very specific event in his past. 
4. His helplessness rendered him a Non-Playable Character, also known as an NPC. An NPC is a derogatory term for someone who has no original thoughts; they merely repeat scripted slogans and expressions. They are brainwashed sheep who have no mind of their own. 
5. Chris’ Sunken Place is further defined by an emotional dilemma the Armitage family puts him in: When they creep him out with their patronizing behavior and he objects to it, his girlfriend Rose gaslights him or candy-coats the creepy behavior to shut up her boyfriend. If Chris objects and speaks out, he fears he will be perceived as “the angry black man.” If Chris doesn’t speak out, he fears he is betraying his intelligence and his survival instincts. Either way, he loses, and this dilemma puts Chris in the Sunken Place. 
6. The sixth and final component of the Sunken Place is to not have a voice, a point of view, or even a history that represents your identity, your strength, and your individual worth. The gardener Walter and the housekeeper Georgina, whose bodies have been stolen by Rose’s grandparents, have been rendered silent Non-Playable Characters. 

The movie’s main character Chris Washington will never become a Non-Playable Character. He not only fights back and successfully overcomes his captors who try to steal his body in the Coagula operation, but he is a photographer.

Showing Chris with his camera is a huge metaphor for a man who resists becoming a Non-Playable Character because the movie Get Out is Chris Washington’s movie. It’s told from his point of view.

And to be clear, Chris Washington is the voice of Jordan Peele. Jordan Peele is the man behind the camera telling his story and his point of view. He is not going to let the Dean Armitages of the world gaslight and silence him. 

There are other applications of the Sunken Place than the movie Get Out. Jordan Peele says everyone has their own Sunken Place when their real voice is silenced by forces they can no longer control. 

For example, the fallen social media sensation The Liver King continues to be a car crash and somewhat of an embarrassment as he shamelessly continues his fraud when he doesn’t need the money; he just needs the attention. It’s like he’s imprisoned by his social media persona, which has no moral or emotional guardrails. He appears to be out of control, a puppet being mastered by his social media persona. He’s in his own Sunken Place. 

I would argue that we go to college to find a job that makes us money combined with making us feel valuable, but it is also a place where we find our own voice to fight the Sunken Place. In college, we learn how to establish moral, ethical, and emotional guardrails so we don’t end up like the Liver King. 

So who’s the greatest example in American history of someone who overcame the Sunken Place? It has to be Frederick Douglass. The institution of slavery tried to silence his voice by making it illegal for him to read or write. But he resisted the system, he learned how to read and write, and he escaped the slave masters to become a free man during which time he became a writer and abolitionist. He presented his life story in his autobiographical narrative and is in my opinion the greatest American in our country’s history. 

Don’t tell him getting an education and learning how to read and write at a high level isn’t important. He found his voice, he overcame the Sunken Place, and he fought tooth and nail for human rights, and he became one of the greatest Americans in our country’s history. 

***

 

The Sunken Place in "This Is America"

One. Apathy and learned helplessness over gun violence

Two. Reckless disregard for human life

Three. Dancing and entertainment as a distraction from the Sunken Place

Four. A black church choir is supposed to uplift humanity, but here the choir is a caricature, overly happy and exaggerated because they're being used in a commercial form: Their appropriation leads to the Sunken Place. The Gambino character shoots them down.

Five. Dancing devolves into chaos: Feeling out of control is a symptom of being in the Sunken Place. 

Six. Young people are beholden to their cell phones: "The celly is a tool" of distraction and inertia, symptoms of the Sunken Place.

Seven. There are references to lynchings, a form of social control and putting an entire community into the Sunken Place. 

Eight. At the end, Gambino has a fight-flight response is a look of terror and a feeling of being frustrated: Not being able to express anger without being stereotyped and demeaned by others.

Sample Thesis Statements:

The Childish Gambino video "This Is America" helps us better understand Jordan Peele's notion of the Sunken Place in his masterpiece Get Out in the way that the video ________________, _____________________, ______________________, and __________________________.  

 

Jordan Peele's Get Out and Childish Gambino's "This Is America" present a devastating look at the Sunken Place, which consists of ______________, ______________, _________________, and _______________________. 

 

Simplified Essay Options

 

Option A

 

Address the claim that Sunken Place in Jordan Peele's movie Get Out is analogous to the dystopian despair rendered in Childish Gambino's video "This Is America."

 

Option B

 

Address the claim that the Sunken Place in Jordan Peele's movie Get Out is analogous to the states of despair expressed in Frederick Douglass' memoir The Narrative of Frederick Douglass, the Life of a Slave. 

 

 

ChatGPT Outline of Option A

The Sunken Place in Jordan Peele's "Get Out" and Childish Gambino's "This Is America" music video both serve as powerful metaphors that explore issues of race, oppression, and the marginalization of African Americans in contemporary society. While they are distinct works in different mediums (film and music), they share thematic similarities that reflect the black experience in America.

The Sunken Place in "Get Out":

1. Metaphor for Marginalization:

   • In "Get Out," the Sunken Place is a representation of the marginalization and oppression of African Americans. When the protagonist, Chris, is hypnotized by the Armitage family, he finds himself in the Sunken Place—a dark void where he is powerless, voiceless, and disconnected from reality.
   • This metaphorically reflects the historical and ongoing struggles faced by black individuals who feel silenced, disempowered, and marginalized in a society marked by systemic racism.

2. Loss of Agency:

   • The Sunken Place symbolizes the loss of agency and control. Despite being physically present, Chris is trapped in a mental state where he cannot influence or alter his circumstances.
   • This mirrors the broader issue of African Americans facing limitations in their ability to effect change within societal structures, as systemic barriers often restrict their agency.

"This Is America" Music Video:

1. Visual Symbolism:

   • Childish Gambino's "This Is America" uses vivid and symbolic imagery to convey its message. The chaotic and often surreal scenes in the video represent the tumultuous relationship between African Americans and American society.
   • The sudden violence and juxtaposition of joyful dancing with disturbing events mirror the duality of the black experience—celebration amidst systemic issues and violence.

2. Dystopian Despair:

   • The video captures a sense of dystopian despair, highlighting the harsh realities faced by black individuals. The chaotic scenes and rapid shifts in tone underscore the unpredictability and challenges of navigating a society marked by racial tension.
   • The juxtaposition of upbeat music and grim visuals serves as a commentary on how entertainment and distraction can coexist with social issues, often masking the underlying problems.

Common Themes:

1. Loss of Identity:

   • Both the Sunken Place and "This Is America" touch on the theme of loss of identity. In the Sunken Place, Chris loses control and agency, while in "This Is America," the constant shifts in tone and the chaotic environment suggest a struggle to maintain a coherent identity in the face of societal pressures.

2. Symbolism and Commentary:

   • Both works rely heavily on symbolism to convey a deeper message about the African American experience. Whether it's the Sunken Place as a metaphorical representation or the symbolic imagery in "This Is America," they invite viewers to engage in critical reflection on systemic issues.

In summary, the Sunken Place and "This Is America" both provide poignant commentary on the challenges faced by African Americans in navigating a society marked by systemic racism. They use metaphor and symbolism to shed light on issues of marginalization, loss of agency, and the struggle for identity in the face of adversity.

 

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Same prompt with Google Bard:

Address the claim that the Sunken Place in Jordan Peele's movie Get Out is analogous to the dystopian scenes in Childish Gambino's video "This Is America."

The Sunken Place and the dystopian scenes in Childish Gambino's video "This Is America" both employ powerful imagery to address the pervasiveness of racial violence and the dehumanization of Black people in America.

The Sunken Place

In Jordan Peele's horror film Get Out, the Sunken Place is a metaphorical depiction of the psychological and physical trauma inflicted upon Black people throughout history. It's a state of paralysis and isolation, where Black individuals are trapped and silenced, their voices and agency stripped away. The Sunken Place represents the insidious nature of racism, its ability to infiltrate the minds of Black people and render them powerless.

Sunken Place scene in the movie Get Out

Dystopian Scenes in "This Is America"

Childish Gambino's music video "This Is America" similarly utilizes jarring and disturbing imagery to confront the realities of racial violence in America. The video opens with Gambino joyfully dancing and smiling, juxtaposed with scenes of police brutality and gun violence. This juxtaposition highlights the duality of Black existence in America, where moments of joy and celebration are constantly overshadowed by the threat of violence and oppression.

Dystopian scenes in the music video This Is America

Analogies between the Sunken Place and Dystopian Scenes in "This Is America"

Both the Sunken Place and the dystopian scenes in "This Is America" serve as powerful metaphors for the dehumanization of Black people in America. They depict Black individuals as objects to be controlled and manipulated, their bodies and minds subjected to violence and trauma.

• Paralysis and Isolation: Both the Sunken Place and the dystopian scenes in "This Is America" emphasize the paralyzing effects of racism. The Sunken Place traps Black individuals in a state of mental and physical immobility, while the dystopian scenes in "This Is America" portray Black people as passive bystanders, their voices and actions silenced.

• Dehumanization and Violence: Both the Sunken Place and the dystopian scenes in "This Is America" strip Black individuals of their humanity. The Sunken Place reduces Black people to mere shells, their consciousness trapped in a void, while the dystopian scenes in "This Is America" depict Black bodies as targets of violence, their lives treated as expendable.

Conclusion

The Sunken Place and the dystopian scenes in Childish Gambino's video "This Is America" both serve as stark reminders of the ongoing struggle for racial justice in America. They challenge viewers to confront the uncomfortable realities of racism and its enduring impact on Black lives. By employing powerful imagery and symbolism, these works force us to acknowledge the pervasiveness of racial violence and the need for systemic change.

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Show how the Sunken Place in Jordan Peele's movie Get Out is analogous to the states of despair expressed in Frederick Douglass' memoir.

 

 

ChatGPT Outline of Option B

The Sunken Place in Jordan Peele's "Get Out" and the states of despair expressed in Frederick Douglass' memoir share common themes of oppression, dehumanization, and the struggle for agency. Although they belong to different mediums and historical contexts, these narratives offer insightful parallels in understanding the African American experience.

The Sunken Place in "Get Out":

1. Metaphor for Dehumanization:

   • The Sunken Place in "Get Out" serves as a metaphor for the dehumanization of African Americans. When characters are trapped in the Sunken Place, they are reduced to a state of passive observation, stripped of their agency, and unable to communicate or influence their surroundings.
   • This mirrors the dehumanizing experiences faced by African Americans throughout history, particularly during times of slavery and systemic racism, where they were often treated as property rather than as fully autonomous individuals.

2. Symbol of Systemic Oppression:

   • The Sunken Place represents the systemic oppression ingrained in the narrative. The Armitage family's ability to control and manipulate individuals to occupy this place reflects the broader structures of power that limit the agency and autonomy of African Americans.
   • This symbolism echoes historical and contemporary struggles against institutional racism and serves as a critique of the insidious ways in which systemic oppression operates.

Frederick Douglass' Memoir:

1. Narrative of Slavery's Dehumanization:

   • In Frederick Douglass' memoir, he vividly describes the dehumanizing effects of slavery. His narrative recounts the physical and psychological brutality inflicted upon enslaved individuals, emphasizing the stripping away of their humanity and agency.
   • Douglass' experiences parallel the Sunken Place, as he, too, describes a state of despair where individuals are reduced to objects and denied their fundamental humanity.

2. Struggle for Agency:

   • Douglass' memoir chronicles his journey from enslavement to freedom, highlighting his relentless pursuit of agency and self-determination. His escape from bondage and quest for education exemplify the resilience and agency of African Americans in the face of systemic oppression.
   • This resonates with the central theme of reclaiming agency seen in "Get Out," where characters resist the forces that seek to subjugate them and assert their autonomy.

Common Themes:

1. Dehumanization and Objectification:

   • Both the Sunken Place and Douglass' memoir explore the dehumanization and objectification of African Americans. Whether through hypnotic control in "Get Out" or the harsh realities of slavery in Douglass' narrative, both convey a sense of being reduced to a state of despair and powerlessness.

2. Struggle Against Oppression:

   • The narratives share a common thread of resistance against oppression. Whether through Chris' defiance in "Get Out" or Douglass' fight for freedom and education, both stories underscore the resilience and agency of African Americans in the face of systemic challenges.

In summary, the Sunken Place in "Get Out" and the states of despair expressed in Frederick Douglass' memoir both provide poignant reflections on the dehumanization, oppression, and the enduring struggle for agency within the African American experience. They serve as powerful narratives that invite audiences to reflect on historical and contemporary challenges faced by the community.

Same Prompt with Google Bard:

In Jordan Peele's horror film Get Out, the Sunken Place is a metaphorical representation of the psychological and physical trauma inflicted upon Black people throughout history. It's a state of paralysis and isolation, where Black individuals are trapped and silenced, their voices and agency stripped away. The Sunken Place represents the insidious nature of racism, its ability to infiltrate the minds of Black people and render them powerless.

Sunken Place scene in the movie Get Out

Frederick Douglass's memoir, Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, an American Slave, is a harrowing account of his experiences as a slave in the American South. Douglass describes the physical and psychological brutality of slavery, the dehumanizing treatment of Black people, and the constant threat of violence. He also writes about the resilience of the human spirit, the hope for freedom, and the importance of fighting for justice.

Frederick Douglass

The Sunken Place and Douglass's memoir share some striking similarities. Both depict states of despair and hopelessness, where Black individuals are trapped in a system that denies them their humanity. Both also highlight the power of racism to silence and dehumanize Black people.

• Paralysis and Isolation: Both the Sunken Place and Douglass's memoir emphasize the paralyzing effects of oppression. The Sunken Place traps Black individuals in a state of mental and physical immobility, while Douglass's memoir describes the physical and psychological constraints of slavery, where Black people were stripped of their freedom and autonomy.

• Loss of Agency: Both the Sunken Place and Douglass's memoir focus on the loss of agency experienced by Black individuals. In the Sunken Place, Black individuals are trapped in a state of paralysis, unable to control their own bodies or minds. Similarly, Douglass's memoir describes how Black individuals were denied basic human rights and treated as property, their lives and destinies controlled by others.

• Symbolism: The Sunken Place serves as a powerful metaphor for the psychological trauma inflicted upon Black people by racism. It represents the insidious nature of racism, its ability to infiltrate the minds of Black individuals and render them powerless. Douglass's memoir, in its entirety, stands as a stark reminder of the dehumanizing effects of slavery. His experiences represent the collective trauma of Black enslavement, the systematic denial of humanity and dignity.

The Sunken Place and Douglass's memoir are both important works of art that challenge viewers and readers to confront the uncomfortable realities of racism. They offer powerful insights into the devastating impact of racial oppression and the enduring struggle for racial justice.

 

 

 

 

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Sentence Fragments 

Sentence fragments are incomplete thoughts presented as dependent clauses or phrases.

A dependent clause or a phrase is never a complete sentence.

Types of dependent clauses:

Whenever I drive up windy mountains,

Because I have craved pizza for 14 months,

Unless you add coffee to your chocolate cake recipe,

,which is currently enjoying a resurgence. 

 

Phrases

Enamored by the music of Tupac Shakur,

Craving pesto linguine with olive-oil based clam sauce, 

Flexing his muscles with a braggadocio never seen in modern times,

Lying under the bridge and eating garlic pepper pretzels with a dollop of cream cheese and a jug of chilled apple cider, 

To understand the notion of Universal Basic Income and all of its related factors for social change in this disruptive age, 

Running into crowded restaurants with garlic and whiskey fuming out of his sweaty pores while brandishing a golden scepter, 

 

Examples

I won't entertain your requests for more money and gifts. Until you show at least a modicum of responsibility at school and with your friends. 

I won't consider buying the new BMW sports coupe. Unless of course my uncle gives me that inheritance he keeps talking about whenever he gets a bit tipsy. 

I can't imagine ever going to Chuck E. Cheese. Which makes me feel like I'm emotionally arrested. 

I am considering the purchase of a new wardrobe. That is, if I'm picked for that job interview at Nordstrom. 

Human morals have vanished. To the point at which it was decided that market values would triumph. 

No subject 

Marie Antoinette spent huge sums of money on herself and her favorites. And helped to bring on the French Revolution.

No complete verb

The aluminum boat sitting on its trailer.

Beginning with a subordinating word

We returned to the drugstore. Where we waited for our buddies.

A sentence fragment is part of a sentence that is written as if it were a complete sentence. Reading your draft out loud, backwards, sentence by sentence, will help you spot sentence fragments.

Sentence Fragment Exercises  

After each sentence, write C for complete or F for fragment sentence. If the sentence is a fragment, correct it so that it is a complete sentence. 

One. While hovering over the complexity of a formidable math problem and wondering if he had time to solve the problem before his girlfriend called him to complain about the horrible birthday present he bought her. 

Two.  In spite of the boyfriend’s growing discontent for his girlfriend, a churlish woman prone to tantrums and grand bouts of petulance.

Three. My BMW 5 series, a serious entry into the luxury car market. 

Four. Overcome with nausea from eating ten bowls of angel hair pasta slathered in pine nut garlic pesto.  

Five. Winding quickly but safely up the treacherous Palos Verdes hills in the shrouded mist of a lazy June morning, I realized that my BMW gave me feelings of completeness and fulfillment.   

Six. To attempt to grasp the profound ignorance of those who deny the compelling truths of science in favor of their pseudo-intellectual ideas about “dangerous” vaccines and the “myths” of global warming. 

Seven. The girlfriend whom I lavished with exotic gifts from afar. 

Eight. When my cravings for pesto pizza, babaganoush, and triple chocolate cake overcome me during my bouts of acute anxiety. 

Nine. Inclined to stop watching sports in the face of my girlfriend’s insistence that I pay more attention to her, I am throwing away my TV. 

Ten. At the dance club where I espy my girlfriend flirting with a stranger by the soda machine festooned with party balloons and tinsel. 

Eleven. The BMW speeding ahead of me and winding into the misty hills. 

Twelve. Before you convert to the religion of veganism in order to impress your vegan girlfriend. 

Thirteen. Summoning all my strength to resist the giant chocolate fudge cake sweating on the plate before me. 

Identify the Fragments Below

Identify the Fragments Below

I drank the chalky Soylent meal-replacement drink. Expecting to feel full and satisfied. Only to find that I was still ravenously hungry afterward. Trying to sate my hunger pangs. I went to HomeTown Buffet. Where I ate several platters of braised oxtail and barbecued short ribs smothered in a honey vinegar sauce. Which reminded me of a sauce where I used to buy groceries from. When I was a kid.

Feeling bloated after my HomeTown Buffet indulgence. I exited the restaurant. After which I hailed an Uber and asked the driver for a night club recommendation. So I could dance off all my calories. The driver recommended a place, Anxiety Wires. I had never heard of it. Though, it was crowded inside. I felt eager to dance and confident about “my swag.” Although, I was still feeling bloated. Wondering if my intestines were on the verge of exploding.

Sweating under the nightclub’s outdoor canopy. I smelled the cloying gasses of a nearby vape. A serpentine woman was holding the vape. A gold contraption emitting rose-water vapors into my direction. Contemplating my gluttony. I was suddenly feeling low confidence. Though I pushed myself to introduce myself to the vape-smoking stranger with the serpentine features. Her eyes locked on mine.

I decided to play it cool. Instead of overwhelming her with a loud, brash manner. Which she might interpret as neediness on my part.

Keeping a portable fan in my cargo pocket for emergencies. When I feel like I’m overheating. I took the fan out of my pocket, turned it on, and directed it toward the serpentine stranger. Making it so the vapors were blowing back in her face.

“Doesn’t smell so good, does it?” I said. With a sarcastic grin.

She cackled, then said, “Thank you for blowing the vapors in my face. Now I can both enjoy inhaling them and breathing them in. For double the pleasure. You are quite a find. Come home with me and I’ll introduce you to my mother Gertrude and her pitbull Jackson. I’m sure they’ll welcome you into our home. Considering what a well-fed handsome man you are.”

“Thank you for the compliment,” I said. “I would love to meet your mother Gertrude and your mother’s pitbull Jackson. Only one problem. My breath smells like a rotting dead dragon. Right after eating spicy ribs. Which reminds me? Do you have any breath mints?”

“I don’t believe in carrying breath mints. On account of the rose-water vape. That cleanses my palate. Making my breath rosy fresh.”

“Wow. Your constant good breath counteracts my intractable bad breath. Making us a match in heaven.”

“I agree. Totally. You really need to meet my mother. Because she’ll bless us and make our marriage official. Since we really need her blessing. Agreed?”

“Agreed.”

“Now let me smell your breath. So I can identify the hot sauce.”

“Why must you do that?”

“So I can use the same hot sauce on our wedding cake, silly. To celebrate the first night we met. Capisce?”

“Capisce.”

She approached me. Affording me a view of her long, tired face. Covered in scales. Reptilian. Evocative of something primitive. Something precious and indelible from my childhood lost long ago. I wanted to run from her, but I could not. Some mysterious force drew me to her, and we inched closer and closer toward one another. Succumbing to a power neither of us could fathom. 

Commas are designed to help writers avoid confusing sentences and to clarify the logic of their sentences.

If you cook Jeff will clean the dishes. (Will you cook Jeff?)

While we were eating a rattlesnake approached us. (Were we eating a rattlesnake?)

Comma Rule 1: Use a comma before a coordinating conjunction (FANBOYS) joining two independent clauses.

Rattlesnakes are high in protein, but I’d rather eat a peanut butter sandwich.

Rattlesnakes are dangerous, and the desert species are even more so.

We are a proud people, for our ancestors passed down these famous delicacies over a period of five thousand years.

The exception to rule 1 is when the two independent clauses are short:

The plane took off and we were on our way.

Comma Rule 2: Use a comma after an introductory clause or phrase.

When Jeff Henderson was in prison, he developed an appetite for reading.

In the nearby room, the TV is blaring full blast.

Tanning in the hot Hermosa Beach sun for over two hours, I realized I had better call it a day.

The exception is when the short adverb clause or phrase is short and doesn’t create the possibility of a misreading:

In no time we were at 2,800 feet.

Comma Rule 3: Use a comma between all items in a series.

 

Jeff Henderson found redemption through hard work, self-reinvention, and social altruism.

Finding his passion, mastering his craft, and giving back to the community were all part of Jeff Henderson’s self-reinvention.

Comma Rule 4: Use a comma between coordinate adjectives not joined with “and.” Do not use a comma between cumulative adjectives.

 

The adjectives below are called coordinate because they modify the noun separately:

Jeff Henderson is a passionate, articulate, wise speaker.

The adjectives above are coordinate because they can be joined with “and.” Jeff Henderson is passionate and articulate and wise.

Adjectives that do not modify the noun separately are cumulative.

Three large gray shapes moved slowly toward us.

Chocolate fudge peanut butter swirl coconut cake is divine.

Comma Rule 5: Use commas to set off nonrestrictive (nonessential) elements. 

Restrictive or essential information doesn’t have a comma:

For school the students need notebooks that are college-ruled.

Jeff’s cat that just had kittens became very aggressive.

Nonrestrictive:

For school the students need college-ruled notebooks, which are on sale at the bookstore.

Jeff Henderson’s mansion, which is located in Las Vegas, has a state-of-the-art kitchen.

My youngest sister, who plays left wing on the soccer team, now lives at The Sands, a beach house near Los Angeles.

 

Avoiding Comma Splices and Run-Ons 

Two complete sentences need to be joined with a period.

When we don’t use a period, we create a run-on sentence:

There are two run-ons in the following passage: 

Jim Crow 1.0 transformed the post-Civil South into a hellscape however let us not think Jim Crow died it transformed into Jim Crow 2.0.

Another run-on:

She doubted the value of medication she decided to try it once.  

A comma splice is different than a run-on. In this case, two sentences are incorrectly joined with a comma:

Klee's paintings seem simple, they are very sophisticated.

Love sneaks up on you, it shows up at your doorstep without warning.

I don’t drink diet soda for my caffeine intake, instead I drink coffee. 

I was strongly attracted to her, she was beautiful and funny.

We hated the meatloaf, the cafeteria served it every Friday.

When You Can Use a Comma Between Two Complete Sentences: FANBOYS

You can use a comma with FANBOYS (for, and, but, or, yet, so), but you can't with conjunctive adverbs (however, instead, to the contrary, in contrast, etc.)

I love ice cream, but I rarely eat it. 

I love ice cream. However, I rarely eat it. 

I don't work out at the gym, but I do use kettlebells at home.

I don't work out at the gym. Instead, I exercise with kettlebells in my garage. 

After each sentence put a “C” for Correct or a “CS” for Comma Splice. If the sentence is a comma splice, rewrite it so that it is correct. 

One. Bailey used to eat ten pizzas a day, now he eats a spinach salad for lunch and dinner. 

Two. Marco no longer runs on the treadmill, instead he opts for the less injury-causing elliptical trainer. 

Three. Running can cause shin splints, which can cause excruciating pain. 

Four. Running in the incorrect form can wreak havoc on the knees, slowing down can often correct the problem. 

Five. While we live in a society where 1,500-calorie cheeseburgers are on the rise, the reading of books, sad to say, is on the decline. 

Six. Facebook is a haven for narcissists, it encourages showing off with selfies and other mundane activities that are ways of showing how great and amazing our lives are, what a sham. 

Seven. We live in a society where more and more Americans are consuming 1,500-calorie cheeseburgers, however, those same Americans are reading fewer and fewer books. 

Eight. Love is a virus from outer space, it tends to become most contagious during April and May. 

Nine. The tarantula causes horror in many people, moreover there is a species of tarantula in Brazil, the wandering banana spider, that is the most venomous spider in the world. 

Ten. Even though spiders cause many people to recoil with horror, most species are harmless. 

Eleven. The high repair costs of European luxury vehicles repelled Amanda from buying such a car, instead she opted for a Japanese-made Lexus. 

Twelve. Amanda got a job at the Lexus dealership, now she’s trying to get me a job in the same office. 

Thirteen. While consuming several cinnamon buns, a twelve-egg cheese omelet, ten slices of French toast slathered in maple syrup, and a tray of Swedish loganberry crepes topped with a dollop of blueberry jam, I contemplated the very grave possibility that I might be eating my way to a heart attack. 

Fourteen. Even though I rank marijuana far less dangerous than most pharmaceutical drugs, alcohol, and other commonly used intoxicants, I find marijuana unappealing for a host of reasons, not the least of which is its potential for radically degrading brain cells, its enormous effect on stimulating the appetite, resulting in obesity, and its capacity for over-relaxing many people so that they lose significant motivation to achieve their primary goals, opting instead for a life of sloth and intractable indolence.

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