Breakthrough Writer

1A Agenda 7-10-17: "The Great White Way" and the Film Get Out!

Essay #3 Options Due July 17

Option One. Refute, support, or complicate Asma’s assertion that green guilt is not only a relative to religious guilt but speaks to our drive to sacrifice self-indulgence for the drive of altruistic self-preservation and social reciprocity. See Elizabeth Anderson’s online essay “If God Is Dead, Is Everything Permitted?”

Option Two. Develop a thesis that supports, refutes, or complicates the assertion Debra J. Dickerson, who wrote the “The Great White Way,” would find Michael Eric Dyson's essay "Understanding Black Patriotism" a complement to Dickerson's ideas about race, power, and hierarchy.

Option Three. Support, refute, or complicate Debra J. Dickerson's argument that race in America is more of a social fantasy than a reflection of objective reality. 

Option Four. Show how the Jordan Peele movie Get Out builds on Debra J. Dickerson's argument that race in America is a cruel invention designed to create a hierarchy of power, one that can be seen in all its horror in post-Obama America. For sources, see NYT review , The Guardian review, and the Variety review. 

Lexicon for Understanding Themes in Get Out: 

Point 1: Appropriation: White people stealing from black culture: language, music, dance, style, art, etc. 

Point 2: Fetishize or fetishization: White people wishfully thinking that black people are a super physical race in order that white people can justify their exploitation of black people evidenced by slavery, Jim Crow, and what Michelle Alexander and others call the New Jim Crow.  

Point 3: Condescension or patronization: White liberals who think they are "enlightened" when in fact they treat black people the way a smug adult addresses a child. 

Point 4: Whiteness as a mythical religion or the apotheosis (highest point of development) of self and American white people's religion of entitlement. 

Point 5: Whiteness Love Affair with American Origin Myth of Innocence: The idea that whiteness, as a state of being offering Disneyland-like innocence, purity and entitlement, created the greatest country on Earth based on honor and virtue as a smokescreen from the evil, greed, and avarice that created slavery, racism, and Jim Crow. 

Point 6: This romanticization of whiteness can be seen in the 5 remaining states (as of writing) that still wave the Confederate Flag over government buildings, erect statues of racist Confederate generals, name streets after racist Confederate generals, and conduct Confederate Army re-enactments in which people dress up in Confederate uniforms and re-live the days when Whiteness as Religion ruled the country without being contested by effete academic intellectuals and other unpatriotic Americans. 

Option Five. Develop a thesis that analyzes the human inclination for staying within the tribe of sameness as explained in David Brooks’ “People Like Us” (very popular with students). 

Option Six. Support, refute, or complicate Nicholas Kristof’s assertion that slashing food stamps is morally indefensible.

Option Seven. Addressing at least one essay we've covered in class (“The Wages of Sin” and “Eat Cake, Subtract Self-Esteem), support, refute, or complicate the argument that overeating, anorexia, and other eating disorders are not the result of a disease but are habits of individual circumstance and economics.

Option Eight. Support, refute, or complicate the argument that feminist-political explanations for anorexia, as evident in Caroline Knapp's essay, are a ruse that hide the disease's real causes. 

Option Nine. In the context of “Our Baby, Her Womb,” support, defend, or complicate the argument that surrogate motherhood is a moral abomination.

Option Ten. In the context of “Unspeakable Conversations,” defend, refute, or complicate Peter Singer’s position that there are moral grounds for infanticide or “mercy killings.” 

“The Great White Way” by Debra J. Dickerson  

One. In the first paragraph, Dickerson writes that the president will struggle to explain what race is to space aliens. She suggests that no one knows what race is, yet it is the “central drama” of America.  

Why is race, which is such a vague and confusing term, our nation’s obsession?  

No one knows what race is because the whole notion of race is fake.

In fact, the whole the notion of race in America is the first "fake news."

People are freaking out today about all the fake news going around, but African-Americans have been the victims of fake news since America's beginnings when lies were told about the identity, history, and purpose of black Americans. 

3 Groups of Americans and Only One Can Identify Fake News for What It Really Is

Hobbits: who wish to stay uninformed and ignorant. They conform to whatever "norms" and practices there are. Their goal in life is to not rock the boat.

Hooligans: Believe and spread fake news and try to shape policy based on fake news. The white supremacists  were the first to spread the fake news of race in order to justify their ownership of slaves. 

Vulcans: rational, educated people who develop informed opinions, consider opponents' views, and see world events in the context of history. Sadly, Vulcans are becoming a smaller part of the population.

Back in the days of slavery, the voices of Vulcans were eclipsed by the voices of Hooligans, a group of white supremacists who delivered the first fake news. 

Two Types of White Supremacists

There are two types of white supremacists, the psychotics, the ones who really believe in it; they are 7 on the Evil Scale because they're dumb enough to believe in this fake news. 

Then there are sociopathic white supremacists who invented the fake news of race all the while knowing that the news was fake. They invented race because it was a money-making opportunity. Their motive was purely money-driven whereas the white psychotics' fake news belief was religious and ideology-driven. The sociopaths, who were willing to exact cruelty on black people knowing full well that race was complete BS, score a 10 on the Evil Scale. 

If there is a hell with lower and lower compartments, then the white sociopathic racists will go in the worst chamber. 

Why Race is Fake News: No Science

There is no scientific or biological view of race. There is however a social construction of race based on arbitrary forces so that the definition of race is always changing. 

We read in Dickerson's essay: When white Americans wanted to exploit Italians, Italians were "black"; when white Americans needed Italians' votes to fuel their agendas, they granted Italians "white" status. Race is a canard subject to change in the service of the kleptocracy, a rule of governance that steals from its people. 

This history of white America is a history of kleptocracy against black Americans. This painful truth is underscored in the magisterial essay "The Case for Reparations" by Ta-Nehisi Coates in which Coates covers every thing you can imagine that has been stolen from black America: identity, body, mind, soul, art, property, to name some. 

Motive for Inventing Race: Kleptocracy

What remains is that race has always been defined in service of the kleptocracy, in which the powerful, who define their power based on racial identity, steal from the exploited, also based on racial identity.

Race is defined in the service of power.  

Because people of color have traditionally been excluded from the American Dream and there is a history of genocide, slavery, and Jim Crow (segregation and racism), human rights violations that were rooted in the idea of race. 

The violations were so egregious and heinous that the only way white people could rationalize these acts and appease their conscience was to construct a devilish idea of racial entitlements for whites and racial exploitation for blacks. 

Conclusion: Race is "fake news." 

To reiterate, African-Americans were the first victims of "fake news."

The Origin of Fake News: White Supremacy: 

White Supremacy is a false religion designed to justify and rationalize the evils of slavery and Jim Crow. The results of White Supremacy are exploitation of black people and a mass psychosis of those white people who drank the White Supremacy Kool-Aid. 

Genocide, slavery, and Jim Crow were justified by white people who, intoxicated by the doctrine of White Supremacy, felt entitled to treat others in the horrid manner of racism and all its resulting evils.  

Today's Kleptocracy:

In our contemporary society, we enslave migrant workers in tents up and down the agricultural worksites of California and elsewhere.  

In the United States, we imprison black and brown men for the same crimes as whites at a ratio of 10:1 even as the prison system has become a multi-billion-dollar industry that has created millions of jobs.  

We have strict laws for drug offenses, but not alcohol in light of this fact: 80% of all drunk driving arrests happen to white men. In a white-ruled kleptocracy, this makes sense. 

Ideas of Race Today

So race, even in its vague definition, is still a hot-button issue and points to a crisis of injustice and moral bankruptcy.  

Race is not a physical reality, but it is an obsession because it's part of White Supremacy's obsession with the IDEA of race, and as Debra Dickerson shows in her essay, the IDEA of race is a psychosis of never-ending, arbitrary racial definitions that keep changing to conform to the needs of those in power. 

Two. What does Dickerson mean when she writes that “race is an arbitrary system for establishing hierarchy and privilege”?  

Ultimate Hypocrisy of White Europeans Who Came to America

The creators of White Supremacy, who escaped the tyranny of European kings knew the value of freedom. They talked about freedom. They preached about freedom. They sang songs about freedom. They wrote poems about freedom.

My God, those white Europeans loved their freedom.

But put on your brakes, ladies and gentleman. They didn't like freedom as much as they claimed apparently because they sure didn't give a damn about freedom for black people.

Or put it this way: They loved money more than freedom and they only valued freedom for themselves, not others. 

White Envy 

White profiteering sociopaths who were envious of the profits slave traders were making in Britain, Spain, Portugal, and elsewhere, wanted a piece of the action.

How Could The White Sociopaths Play the White Christian Farmers?

The white sociopaths whose only religion was money knew the white Christian peasants and farmers were too religious and too caught up in the command "Love thy neighbor as thyself" to embrace slavery, so the white sociopath conmen insidiously put White Supremacy, the belief that God and Jesus are white and that the world was made for white people, into the white peasants' Bibles and soon enough the peasants and farmers drank enough of this White Supremacy or "evil Kool-Aid," as I'm fond of calling it, and they were on board with the white conmen.

White Inventors of Race Were Conmen and Sociopaths

Here's an important point: The white conmen were too clever to be fooled by race. They knew that race doesn't exist, that race is a canard and they used race as a canard to fool the white peasants.

The white peasants actually believed in the Kool-Aid the conmen gave them.

Hell Revisited

The psychotic peasants would still go to Hell because there's no excuse for their "complicit ignorance," as I like to call it, but they're not as diabolical as the white sociopaths who invented White Supremacy for their own profit.

Review of White Supremacy

White Supremacy is an evil religion, a hybrid of Christianity and white superiority narratives, which states whites were put on Earth lord over everyone else in any manner they saw fit.  

The false religion was the first fake news.

 

In the United States, there was no such thing as "race" until slavery came along.

Before the fake news of White Supremacy, people in America did not have a consciousness of race or skin color. Race and skin color were inventions, or if you will, an elaborate fiction or fairy tale designed to justify genocide, slavery, and Jim Crow.  

White farmers and slave owners drank the Kool-Aid and saw themselves as “good Christians” even as they exacted cruelty upon people of color. They were able to use White Supremacy (“I’m just doing what the good Lord ordained me to do.”) to assuage their conscience and perform heinous acts, which constituted the most depraved human rights violations. 

Three. What attitudes did white Americans feel toward European immigrants from Ireland to Greece? 

They were looked upon as subhumans that would takeover America as “mongrel hordes” unless the white Americans started breeding more. 

There was a racial hierarchy with Anglo Europeans at the top, Italians, Slavs, Greeks, and Irish at the middle, and brown and black people relegated to the bottom. 

Hostility was so bad against non-Anglo Europeans that 11 Italians were lynched in Louisiana in 1891. 

The Anglo whites wanted to assimilate the southern Europeans into more jobs and get their votes, so they “promoted Southern Europeans to whiteness,” whiteness being equivalent to the gold card of freedom, respect, and privilege. 

This privilege gave “fascist-leaning Italians” full respect while patriotic Japanese were put into internment camps. 

One of the horrid things about southern Italians becoming full white Americans was in sharing white Americans’ hate and disdain for people of color. For example, we read that Italian Americans took delight in beating up black people. 

This was their sick rite of passage into “being fully white.” 

Four. How was FDR’s New Deal and Truman’s Fair Deal a sort of affirmative action for whites only? 

The states could decide who got the New Deal money and it always went to poor whites, never to blacks. White liberals in the north allowed southern states to do with the New Deal as they liked, state by state. There was no federal enforcement so that all people benefited. 

During the Depression, relief only went to poor whites. Poor blacks received nothing. 

Blacks were not eligible for Social Security until the 1950s. 

These injustices, which happened 70 years ago, give weight to the argument for affirmative action, Dickerson argues. 

We did have affirmative action for the poor, Dickerson reminds us, but 70 years ago, it was only the white poor who received it.

Fake News and the movie Get Out.  

Chris, the black protagonist, attends a white family's party and he is subject to a hailstorm of fake news about his identity, origins, and purpose.

Sample Thesis and Outline Comparing "The Great White Way" to the Jordan Peele movie Get Out. 

Jordan Peele's movie Get Out cogently helps us understand Debra J. Dickerson's connection in "The Great White Way" between race as a fantasy and white privilege as a kleptocracy. Through the lens of Peele's film, this connection is evidenced in four major ways including __________________, _________________, ________________, and _____________________. 

Paragraphs 1 and 2: Explain the connection between race as a fantasy and how this racial fantasy fuels white privilege and its aim to conduct a kleptocracy in which black Americans are its victims. (Two 150-word paragraphs for 300 words) 

Paragraph 3: Argue that Get Out builds on Debra Dickerson's idea as it pertains to the racist fantasy of the black male, in which the black male is perceived as "superior physical specimen" on one hand and servile dolt on the other, the subtle racist jabs or condescending microaggressions that reinforce this racist notion of the black male, the self-destruction that afflicts blacks who try to assimilate in white society, even liberal white society, the denial of racism that whites enjoy boasting about in a post-Obama America, and how white America's racist ideas lay the groundwork for justifying the kleptocracy of black America: the systematic state-sponsored stealing of every ounce of body, mind, and soul from black culture. (150 words for 450 subtotal)

Paragraphs 4-8 (five paragraphs at 150 words each would give us 750 words for a subtotal of 1,200 words)

Conclusion: Show the broader ramifications for a movie about the kleptocracy and its relevance in a post-Obama America (200 word paragraph for 1,400 total). 

You can consult the following movie reviews for your Works Cited:

NYT review , The Guardian review, and the Variety review. For an even more in-depth essay about the kleptocracy against black America, you might consult Ta-Nehisi Coates' essay "The Case for Reparations." 

“Understanding Black Patriotism” by Michael Eric Dyson

 One. What is the difference between black patriotism and “lapel-pin nationalism”? 

The history of black people is the history of struggle, to fight against slavery, Jim Crow, unfair incarceration laws, unequal income distribution, to name some, and this struggle for a better country through the struggle is far more in-depth and arduous than people spewing easy slogans and clichés. 

The history of black America is to fight the fake news and replace it with real news because the truth shall set you free. 

If one is angry toward one’s country, its lies and morally wrong practices, then one has hope for change. True abandonment of one’s country is not expressed anger or outrage but apathy, and the percentage of people of all colors who stay at home on election days speaks to apathy. 

In contrast, there is “My country, right or wrong,” which is a dogmatic credo of the ignorant peasant who subscribes, not to patriotism, but to jingoism, the act of cheerleading or being a fanboy for one’s country without doing the research or hard work concerning the relevant issues. 

A jingoist is a Kool-Aid drinker or fanboy who blindly embraces all things that pertain to one’s country. 

A true patriot, according to Dyson, is a critical thinker who wants an accurate diagnosis of America's ills in order to make a better America. 

Two. What examples does Dyson provide regarding hypocrisy of patriotism? 

Dyson points at the five deferments of Dick Cheney, hawkish on terrorism, who may have been hawkish when he was calling the shots, but when it came to him fighting he stayed home from the war five times. He really used those deferments but was eager to make others fight his war. 

In contrast, African American critic of American racism Jeremiah Wright surrendered his student deferment and volunteered to join the Marines. 

 

 

Subordination and Coordination (Complex and Compound Sentences)

Complex Sentence

A complex sentence has two clauses. One clause is dependent or subordinate; the other clause is independent, that is to say, the independent clause is the complete sentence.

Examples:

While I was tanning in Hermosa Beach, I noticed the clouds were playing hide and seek.

Because I have a tendency to eat entire pizzas, inhaling them within seconds, I must avoid that fattening food.

Whenever I’m driving my car and I see people texting while driving, I stop my car on the side of the road.

I have to workout every day because I am addicted to exercise-induced dopamine.

I feel overcome with a combination of romantic melancholy and giddy excitement whenever there is a thunderstorm.

We use subordination to show cause and effect. To create subordinate clauses, we must use a subordinate conjunction:

The essential ingredient in a complex sentence is the subordinate conjunction:

after although as because before even if even though if in order that

once provided that rather than since so that than that though unless

until when whenever where whereas wherever whether while why

 

I workout too much.  I have tenderness in my elbow.

Because I workout too much, I suffer tenderness in my elbow.

My elbow hurts. I’m working out.

Even though my elbow hurts, I’m working out.

We use coordination to show equal rank of ideas. To combine sentences with coordination we use FANBOYS (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so)

The calculus class has been cancelled. We will have to do something else.

The calculus class has been cancelled, so we will have to do something else.

I want more pecan pie. They only have apple pie.

I want more pecan pie, but they only have apple pie.

Using FANBOYS creates compound sentences

Angelo loves to buy a new radio every week, but his wife doesn’t like it.

You have high cholesterol, so you have to take statins.

I am tempted to eat all the rocky road ice cream, yet I will force myself to nibble on carrots and celery.

I want to go to the Middle Eastern restaurant today, and I want to see a movie afterwards.

I really like the comfort of elastic-waist pants, but wearing them makes me feel like an old man.

Both subordination and coordination combine sentences into smoother, clearer sentences.

The following four sentences are made smoother and clearer with the help of subordination:

McMahon felt gluttonous. He inhaled five pizzas. He felt his waist press against his denim waistband in a cruel, unforgiving fashion. He felt an acute ache in his stomach.

Because McMahon felt gluttonous, he inhaled five pizzas upon which he felt his waist press against his denim waistband resulting in an acute stomachache.

Another Example

Joe ate too much heavily salted popcorn. The saltiness made him thirsty. He consumed several gallons of water before bedtime. He was up going to the bathroom all night. He got a bad night’s sleep. He performed terribly during his job interview. 

Due to his foolish consumption of salted popcorn, Joe was so thirsty he drank several gallons of water before bedtime, which caused him to go to the bathroom all night, interfering with his night’s sleep and causing him to do terribly on his job interview.

Another Example

Bob dropped his peanut butter sandwich in the tiger’s enclosure. He leaned over the fence to reach for his sandwich. He fell over the fence. A tiger approached Bob. The zookeeper ran between the stupid zoo customer and the wild beast. The zookeeper tore his rotator cuff.

After Bob dropped his peanut butter sandwich in the tiger’s enclosure, he leaned over the fence to recover his sandwich and fell into the enclosure during which time he was approached by a hungry tiger, forcing the nearby zookeeper to run between Bob and wild beast. During the struggle, the zookeeper tore his rotator cuff. 

Don’t Do Subordination Overkill

After Bob dropped his peanut butter sandwich in the tiger’s enclosure, he leaned over the fence to recover his sandwich and fell into the enclosure during which time he was approached by a hungry tiger forcing the nearby zookeeper to run between Bob and the wild beast in such a manner that the zookeeper tore his rotator cuff, which resulted in a prolonged disability leave and the loss of his job, a crisis that compelled the zookeeper to file a lawsuit against Bob for financial damages.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Summer 2017 Blue Book Exam #2

Develop a thesis that supports or refutes the notion that smartphones and social media stunt college students' maturity and their college success. Incorporate the ideas of Sherry Turkle and Cal Newport into your supporting paragraphs. 

After your thesis, write 4 supporting paragraphs and a fifth very short paragraph, your conclusion, which will restate your thesis with emotional punch. 

You don't need an introduction. 

1A Agenda 5-31-17: Top Twenty Grammar Errors, In-Text Citations Review, and Peer Edit

Blue Book Exam for Week 16

Develop a thesis that explains the unremitting conflict that torments bell hooks as rendered in her essay, "Learning in the Shadow of Race and Class." Write a thesis followed by 4 paragraphs. No introduction or conclusion needed. Please skip lines in your Blue Book. 

Top Twenty Writing Errors 

According to Andrea A. Lunsford in The St. Martin’s Handbook, Eight Edition, there are 20 writing errors that merit “The Top 20.” 

One. Wrong word: Confusing one word for another.

Here's a list of wrong word usage.  

A full-bodied red wine compliments the Pasta Pomodoro. 

Compliment is a to say something nice about someone. "You look nice in that pumpkin polo shirt. Very nice pumpkin accents."

Complement is to complete or match well with something. "This full-bodied red wine complements the spaghetti." 

The BMW salesman excepted my counteroffer of 55K for the sports sedan. 

The word should be accepted. 

Kryptonite effects Superman in such a way that he loses his powers. 

Effect is a noun. Affect is a verb, so it should be the following: 

Kryptonite affects Superman in a such a way that he loses his powers. 

Confusing their and there

There superpowers were compromised by the Gamma rays. 

We need to use the possessive plural pronoun their. 

Two. Missing comma after an introductory phrase or clause

 

Terrified of slimy foods Robert hid behind the restaurant’s dumpster. 

In spite of my aversion to rollercoasters I attended the carnival with my family. 

Three. Incomplete documentation 

Noted dietician and nutritionist Mike Manderlin observes that “Dieting is a mental illness.” 

It should read: 

Noted dietician and nutritionist Mike Manderlin observes that “Dieting is a mental illness” (277). 

Four. Vague Pronoun Reference 

Focusing on the pecs during your Monday-Wednesday-Friday workouts is a way of giving you more time to work on your quads and glutes and specializing on the way they’re used in different exercises. 

Before Jennifer screamed at Brittany, she came to the conclusion that she was justified in stealing her boyfriend. 

Five. Spelling (including homonyms, words that have same spelling but different meanings or same sound but different meanings) 

No one came forward to bare witness to the crime. 

No one came forward to bear witness to the crime. 

 

Love is a disease. It’s sickness derives from its power to intoxicate and create capricious, short-term infatuation. 

Its sickness derives from its power to intoxicate and create capricious, short-term infatuation. 

Six. Mechanical error with a quotation 

Incorrect

In his best-selling book Love Is a Virus from Outer Space, noted psychologist Michael M. Manderlin asserts that “Falling in love is a form of madness for which there is no cure”. 

Correct

In his best selling book Love Is a Virus from Outer Space, noted psychologist Michael M. Manderlin asserts that “Falling in love is a form of madness for which there is no cure.” 

Incorrect

In his best selling book Love Is a Virus from Outer Space, noted psychologist Michael M. Manderlin asserts that “Falling in love is a form of madness for which there is no cure.” (18) 

Correct

In his best selling book Love Is a Virus from Outer Space, noted psychologist Michael M. Manderlin asserts that “Falling in love is a form of madness for which there is no cure” (18). 

Incorrect

“It forever stuns me that people make life decisions based on something as fickle and capricious as love”, Michael Manderlin writes (22). 

Correct

“It forever stuns me that people make life decisions based on something as fickle and capricious as love,” Michael Manderlin writes (22). 

Seven. Unnecessary comma 

I need to workout when at home, and while taking vacations. 

You do however use a comma if the comma is between two independent clauses: 

I need to workout at home, and when I go on vacations, I bring my yoga mat to hotels. 

I need to workout every day, because I’m addicted to the exercise-induced dopamine. 

You do however use a comma after a dependent clause beginning with because: 

Because I’m addicted to exercise-induced dopamine, I need to workout everyday. 

Peaches, that are green, taste hideous. 

The above is an example of an independent clause with a essential information or restrictive information. Not all peaches taste hideous, only green ones. The meaning of the entire sentence needs the dependent clause so there are no commas. 

However, if the clause is additional information, the clause is called nonessential or nonrestrictive, and we do use commas: 

Peaches, which are on sale at Whole Foods, are my favorite fruit. 

Mr. Manderlin, who is fond of shopping at the farmer's market on the weekends, had to stay in bed all day nursing a virulent abscess. 

Eight. Unnecessary or missing capitalization 

Some Traditional Chinese Medicines containing Ephedraremain are legal.

We only use capital letters for proper nouns, proper adjectives, first words of sentences, important words in titles, along with certain words indicating directions and family relationships. 

Nine. Missing word 

Incorrect

The site foreman discriminated women and promoted men with less experience. 

Correct

The site foreman discriminated against women and promoted men with less experience. 

Incorrect

Chris’ behavior becomes bizarre that his family asks for help. 

Correct

Chris’ behavior becomes so bizarre that his family asks for help. 

Ten. Faulty sentence structure 

The information which high school athletes are presented with mainly includes information on what credits needed to graduate and thinking about the college which athletes are trying to play for, and apply. 

A sentence that starts out with one kind of structure and then changes to another kind can confuse readers. Make sure that each sentence contains a subject and a verb, that subjects and predicates make sense together, and that comparisons have clear meanings. When you join elements (such as subjects or verb phrases) with a coordinating conjunction, make sure that the elements have parallel structures. 

Incorrect

The reason I prefer yoga at home to the gym is because I prefer privacy. 

Correct

I prefer yoga at home to the gym because I enjoy more privacy at home than in a studio. 

Incorrect

In conclusion, it is essential that drug laws be strictly enforced in today’s society to stop criminals in their tracks and put them behind bars not just criminals but every day people who suffer from really bad addictions and who break the law in order to do their bad behavior so that we can live in a safer better society to protect the children and for all people who need to walk the streets without these kind of worries because without these kinds of strict laws our country would be in chaos and our country’s children will be the innocent victims.

The above is impossible to correct because even edited nothing is being said. Faulty sentence structure can only be edited if there is substance or real content. The above is saying nothing. 

11. Missing Comma with a Nonrestrictive Element 

Marina who was the president of the club was the first to speak. 

The clause who was the president of the club does not affect the basic meaning of the sentence: Marina was the first to speak. 

A nonrestrictive element gives information not essential to the basic meaning of the sentence. Use commas to set off a nonrestrictive element. 

12. Unnecessary Shift in Verb Tense 

Priya was watching the great blue heron. Then she slips and falls into the swamp. 

Verbs that shift from one tense to another with no clear reason can confuse readers. 

13. Missing Comma in a Compound Sentence

 

Incorrect

Meredith waited for Samir and her sister grew impatient. 

Correct

Meredith waited for Samir, and her sister grew impatient. 

Without the comma, a reader may think at first that Meredith waited for both Samir and her sister. 

A compound sentence consists of two or more parts that could each stand alone as a sentence. When the parts are joined by a coordinating conjunction, use a comma before the conjunction to indicate a pause between the two thoughts. 

14. Unnecessary or Missing Apostrophe (including its/it's) 

Overambitious parents can be very harmful to a childs well-being. 

The car is lying on it's side in the ditch. Its a white 2004 Passat. 

To make a noun possessive, add either an apostrophe and an s (Ed's book) or an apostrophe alone (the boys' gym). Do not use an apostrophe in the possessive pronouns ours, yours, and hers. Useits to mean belong to it; use it's only when you mean it is or it has. 

15. Fused (run-on) sentence 

Klee's paintings seem simple, they are very sophisticated. 

She doubted the value of medication she decided to try it once. 

A fused sentence (also called a run-on) joins clauses that could each stand alone as a sentence with no punctuation or words to link them. Fused sentences must be either divided into separate sentences or joined by adding words or punctuation. 

16. Comma Splice 

I was strongly attracted to her, she was beautiful and funny. 

We hated the meat loaf, the cafeteria served it every Friday. 

A comma splice occurs when only a comma separates clauses that could each stand alone as a sentence. To correct a comma splice, you can insert a semicolon or period, connect the clauses with a word such as and or because, or restructure the sentence. 

17. Lack of pronoun/antecedent agreement 

Every student must provide their own uniform. 

Pronouns must agree with their antecedents in gender (male or female) and in number (singular or plural). Many indefinite pronouns, such as everyone and each, are always singular. When a singular antecedent can refer to a man or woman, either rewrite the sentence to make the antecedent plural or to eliminate the pronoun, or use his or her, he or she, and so on. When antecedents are joined by or or nor, the pronoun must agree with the closer antecedent. A collection noun such as team can be either singular or plural, depending on whether the members are seen as a group or individuals. 

18. Poorly Integrated Quotation 

A 1970s study of what makes food appetizing "Once it became apparent that the steak was actually blue and the fries were green, some people became ill" (Schlosser 565).

Corrected

In a 1970s study about what makes food appetizing, we read, "Once it became apparent that the steak was actually blue and the fries were green, some people became ill" (Schlosser 565).  

Incorrect

"Dumpster diving has serious drawbacks as a way of life" (Eighner 383). Finding edible food is especially tricky.

Corrected

"Dumpster diving has serious drawbacks as a way of life," we read in Eighner's book (383). One of the drawbacks is that finding food can be especially difficult.  

Quotations should fit smoothly into the surrounding sentence structure. They should be linked clearly to the writing around them (usually with a signal phrase) rather than dropped abruptly into the writing. 

19. Missing or Unnecessary Hyphen 

This paper looks at fictional and real life examples. 

A compound adjective modifying a noun that follows it requires a hyphen. 

Corrected

This paper looks at fictional and real-life examples. 

Incorrect (using hyphen for a verb)

The buyers want to fix-up the house and resell it. 

A two-word verb should not be hyphenated. A compound adjective that appears before a noun needs a hyphen. However, be careful not to hyphenate two-word verbs or word groups that serve as subject complements. 

Corrected

The buyers want to fix up the house and resell it. 

20. Sentence Fragment 

No subject 

Marie Antoinette spent huge sums of money on herself and her favorites. And helped to bring on the French Revolution. 

No complete verb 

The aluminum boat sitting on its trailer. 

Beginning with a subordinating word 

We returned to the drugstore. Where we waited for our buddies. 

A sentence fragment is part of a sentence that is written as if it were a complete sentence. Reading your draft out loud, backwards, sentence by sentence, will help you spot sentence fragments.

 

 

 

 

 

Updated for 12-13-16: Top 20 Grammar Errors

Top Twenty Writing Errors 

According to Andrea A. Lunsford in The St. Martin’s Handbook, Eight Edition, there are 20 writing errors that merit “The Top 20.” 

One. Wrong word: Confusing one word for another.

Here's a list of wrong word usage.  

A full-bodied red wine compliments the Pasta Pomodoro. 

Compliment is a to say something nice about someone. "You look nice in that pumpkin polo shirt. Very nice pumpkin accents."

Complement is to complete or match well with something. "This full-bodied red wine complements the spaghetti." 

The BMW salesman excepted my counteroffer of 55K for the sports sedan. 

The word should be accepted. 

Kryptonite effects Superman in such a way that he loses his powers. 

Effect is a noun. Affect is a verb, so it should be the following: 

Kryptonite affects Superman in a such a way that he loses his powers. 

Confusing their and there

There superpowers were compromised by the Gamma rays. 

We need to use the possessive plural pronoun their. 

Two. Missing comma after an introductory phrase or clause

 

Terrified of slimy foods, Robert hid behind the restaurant’s dumpster. 

In spite of my aversion to rollercoasters, I attended the carnival with my family. 

Three. Incomplete documentation 

Noted dietician and nutritionist Mike Manderlin observes that, “Dieting is a mental illness.” 

It should read: 

Noted dietician and nutritionist Mike Manderlin observes that, “Dieting is a mental illness” (277). 

Four. Vague Pronoun Reference 

Focusing on the pecs during your Monday-Wednesday-Friday workouts is a way of giving you more time to work on your quads and glutes and specializing on the way they’re used in different exercises. 

Before Jennifer screamed at Brittany, she came to the conclusion that she was justified in stealing her boyfriend. 

Five. Spelling (including homonyms, words that have same spelling but different meanings) 

No one came forward to bare witness to the crime. 

No one came forward to bear witness to the crime. 

Every where we went, we saw fast food restaurants. 

Everywhere we went, we saw fast food restaurants. 

Love is a disease. It’s sickness derives from its power to intoxicate and create capricious, short-term infatuation. 

Its sickness derives from its power to intoxicate and create capricious, short-term infatuation. 

Six. Mechanical error with a quotation 

In his best-selling book Love Is a Virus from Outer Space, noted psychologist Michael M. Manderlin asserts that, “Falling in love is a form of madness for which there is no cure”. 

In his best selling book Love Is a Virus from Outer Space, noted psychologist Michael M. Manderlin asserts that, “Falling in love is a form of madness for which there is no cure.” 

In his best selling book Love Is a Virus from Outer Space, noted psychologist Michael M. Manderlin asserts that, “Falling in love is a form of madness for which there is no cure” (18). 

“It forever stuns me that people make life decisions based on something as fickle and capricious as love”, Michael Manderlin writes (22). 

“It forever stuns me that people make life decisions based on something as fickle and capricious as love,” Michael Manderlin writes (22). 

Seven. Unnecessary comma 

I need to workout when at home, and while taking vacations. 

You do however use a comma if the comma is between two independent clauses: 

I need to workout at home, and when I go on vacations, I bring my yoga mat to hotels. 

I need to workout every day, because I’m addicted to the exercise-induced dopamine. 

You do however use a comma after a dependent clause beginning with because: 

Because I’m addicted to exercise-induced dopamine, I need to workout everyday. 

Peaches, that are green, taste hideous. 

The above is an example of an independent clause with a essential information or restrictive information. Not all peaches taste hideous, only green ones. The meaning of the entire sentence needs the dependent clause so there are no commas. 

However, if the clause is additional information, the clause is called nonessential or nonrestrictive, and we do use commas: 

Peaches, which are on sale at Whole Foods, are my favorite fruit. 

Eight. Unnecessary or missing capitalization 

Some Traditional Chinese Medicines containing Ephedraremain legal.

We only use capital letters for proper nouns, proper adjectives, first words of sentences, important words in titles, along with certain words indicating directions and family relationships. 

Nine. Missing word 

The site foreman discriminated women and promoted men with less experience. 

The site foreman discriminated against women and promoted men with less experience. 

Chris’ behavior becomes bizarre that his family asks for help. 

Chris’ behavior becomes so bizarre that his family asks for help. 

Ten. Faulty sentence structure 

The information which high school athletes are presented with mainly includes information on what credits needed to graduate and thinking about the college which athletes are trying to play for, and apply. 

A sentence that starts out with one kind of structure and then changes to another kind can confuse readers. Make sure that each sentence contains a subject and a verb, that subjects and predicates make sense together, and that comparisons have clear meanings. When you join elements (such as subjects or verb phrases) with a coordinating conjunction, make sure that the elements have parallel structures. 

The reason I prefer yoga at home to the gym is because I prefer privacy. 

I prefer yoga at home to the gym because of privacy. 

11. Missing Comma with a Nonrestrictive Element 

Marina who was the president of the club was the first to speak. 

The clause who was the president of the club does not affect the basic meaning of the sentence: Marina was the first to speak. 

A nonrestrictive element gives information not essential to the basic meaning of the sentence. Use commas to set off a nonrestrictive element. 

12. Unnecessary Shift in Verb Tense 

Priya was watching the great blue heron. Then she slips and falls into the swamp. 

Verbs that shift from one tense to another with no clear reason can confuse readers. 

13. Missing Comma in a Compound Sentence

 

Meredith waited for Samir and her sister grew impatient. 

Without the comma, a reader may think at first that Meredith waited for both Samir and her sister. 

A compound sentence consists of two or more parts that could each stand alone as a sentence. When the parts are joined by a coordinating conjunction, use a comma before the conjunction to indicate a pause between the two thoughts. 

14. Unnecessary or Missing Apostrophe (including its/it's) 

Overambitious parents can be very harmful to a childs well-being. 

The car is lying on it's side in the ditch. Its a white 2004 Passat.

 

To make a noun possessive, add either an apostrophe and an s (Ed's book) or an apostrophe alone (the boys' gym). Do not use an apostrophe in the possessive pronouns ours, yours, and hers. Useits to mean belong to it; use it's only when you mean it is or it has. 

15. Fused (run-on) sentence 

Klee's paintings seem simple, they are very sophisticated. 

She doubted the value of medication she decided to try it once. 

A fused sentence (also called a run-on) joins clauses that could each stand alone as a sentence with no punctuation or words to link them. Fused sentences must be either divided into separate sentences or joined by adding words or punctuation. 

16. Comma Splice 

I was strongly attracted to her, she was beautiful and funny. 

We hated the meat loaf, the cafeteria served it every Friday. 

A comma splice occurs when only a comma separates clauses that could each stand alone as a sentence. To correct a comma splice, you can insert a semicolon or period, connect the clauses with a word such as and or because, or restructure the sentence. 

17. Lack of pronoun/antecedent agreement 

Every student must provide their own uniform. 

Pronouns must agree with their antecedents in gender (male or female) and in number (singular or plural). Many indefinite pronouns, such as everyone and each, are always singular. When a singular antecedent can refer to a man or woman, either rewrite the sentence to make the antecedent plural or to eliminate the pronoun, or use his or her, he or she, and so on. When antecedents are joined by or or nor, the pronoun must agree with the closer antecedent. A collection noun such as team can be either singular or plural, depending on whether the members are seen as a group or individuals. 

18. Poorly Integrated Quotation 

A 1970s study of what makes food appetizing "Once it became apparent that the steak was actually blue and the fries were green, some people became ill" (Schlosser 565).

Corrected

In a 1970s study about what makes food appetizing, we read, "Once it became apparent that the steak was actually blue and the fries were green, some people became ill" (Schlosser 565).  

"Dumpster diving has serious drawbacks as a way of life" (Eighner 383). Finding edible food is especially tricky.

Corrected

"Dumpster diving has serious drawbacks as a way of life," we read in Eighner's book (383). One of the drawbacks is that finding food can be especially difficult.  

Quotations should fit smoothly into the surrounding sentence structure. They should be linked clearly to the writing around them (usually with a signal phrase) rather than dropped abruptly into the writing. 

19. Missing or Unnecessary Hyphen 

This paper looks at fictional and real life examples. 

A compound adjective modifying a noun that follows it requires a hyphen. 

The buyers want to fix-up the house and resell it. 

A two-word verb should not be hyphenated. A compound adjective that appears before a noun needs a hyphen. However, be careful not to hyphenate two-word verbs or word groups that serve as subject complements. 

20. Sentence Fragment 

No subject 

Marie Antoinette spent huge sums of money on herself and her favorites. And helped to bring on the French Revolution. 

No complete verb 

The aluminum boat sitting on its trailer. 

Beginning with a subordinating word 

We returned to the drugstore. Where we waited for our buddies. 

A sentence fragment is part of a sentence that is written as if it were a complete sentence. Reading your draft out loud, backwards, sentence by sentence, will help you spot sentence fragments.

 

 

Blue Book Exam for 9-27-2016

Based on your reading of Francine Prose's essay "The Wages of Sin" (181), write a thesis supported by 4 paragraphs in which you argue that overeating is the result of a sin, a disease model, or some other cause. 

August 30th English 1A Introduction: Syllabus, Motivations, Critical Thinking, Success Strategies

You must register on turnitin.com.

Your class code ID is the following: 13054139

Your password is the following: elegant

 

Course Outline for McMahon’s Fall 2016 English 1A with Essay Assignments

Office H121P; Phone Extension: 5673

Office Hours: Monday and Wednesday: 12:30-1 and 3:30-4:15 and Tuesday and Thursday: 2:30-3:45

Email: [email protected]   

Course Catalog Description:  

This course is designed to strengthen the students’ ability to read with understanding and discernment, to discuss assigned readings intelligently, and to write clearly. Emphasis will be on writing essays in which each paragraph relates to a controlling idea, has an introduction and a conclusion, and contains primary and secondary support. College-level reading material will be assigned to provide the stimulus for class discussion and writing assignments, including a required research paper.  

Course Objectives:  

One. Recognize and revise sentence-level grammar and usage errors.

Two. Read and apply critical-thinking skills to numerous published articles and to college-level, book-length works for the purpose of writing and discussion.

Three. Apply appropriate strategies in the writing process including prewriting, composing, revising, and editing techniques.

Four. Compose multi-paragraph, thesis-driven essays with logical and appropriate supporting ideas, and with unity and coherence.

Five. Demonstrate ability to locate and utilize a variety of academic databases, peer-reviewed journals, and scholarly websites.

Six. Utilize MLA guidelines to format essays, cite sources in the texts of essays, and compile Works Cited lists. 

Student Learning Outcomes: 

Upon completion of this course, students will: 

1. Complete a research-based essay that has been written out of class and undergone revision. It should demonstrate the student’s ability to thoughtfully support a single thesis using analysis and synthesis. 
2. Integrate multiple sources, including a book-length work and a variety of academic databases, peer-reviewed journals, and scholarly websites. Citations must be in MLA format and include a Works Cited page. 
3. Demonstrate logical paragraph composition and sentence structure. The essay should have correct grammar, spelling, and word use.

Students with Disabilities:  

It is the policy of the El Camino Community College District to encourage full inclusion of people with disabilities in all programs and services.  Students with disabilities who believe they may need accommodations in this class should contact the campus Special Resource Center (310) 660-3295, as soon as possible.  This will ensure that students are able to fully participate.     

Academic Honesty and Plagiarism:  

El Camino College places a high value on the integrity of its student scholars.  When an instructor determines that there is evidence of dishonesty in any academic work (including, but not limited to cheating, plagiarism, or theft of exam materials), disciplinary action appropriate to the misconduct as defined in BP 5500 may be taken.  A failing grade on an assignment in which academic dishonesty has occurred and suspension from class are among the disciplinary actions for academic dishonesty (AP 5520).  Students with any questions about the Academic Honesty or discipline policies are encouraged to speak with their instructor in advance. 

Attendance Policy: Students are expected to attend their classes regularly. Students who miss the first class meeting or who are not in regular attendance during the add period for the class may be dropped by the instructor. Students whose absences from a class exceed 10% of the scheduled class meeting times may be dropped by the instructor. However, students are responsible for dropping a class within the deadlines published in the class schedule. Students who stop attending but do not drop may receive a failing grade.  

Student Resources:

• Reading Success Center (East Library Basement E-36)
  Software and tutors are available for vocabulary development & reading comprehension.  
• Library Media Technology Center - LMTC (East Library Basement)
  Computers are available for free use. Bring your student ID # & flash drive.  There’s a charge for printing.  
• Writing Center (H122)
  Computers are available for free use. Free tutoring is available for writing assignments, grammar, and vocabulary.  Bring your student ID & flash drive to save work.  Printing is NOT available.  
• Learning Resource Center - LRC (West Wing of the Library, 2^nd floor)
  The LRC Tutorial Program offers free drop-in tutoring.  For the tutoring schedule, go to www.elcamino.edu/library/lrc/tutoring .The LRC also offers individualized computer adaptive programs to help build your reading comprehension skills.    
• Student Health Center (Next to the Pool)
  The Health Center offers free medical and psychological services as well as free workshops on topics like “test anxiety.” Low cost medical testing is also available. 
• Special Resource Center – SRC (Southwest Wing of Student Services Building)

The SRC provides free disability services, including interpreters, testing accommodations, counseling, and adaptive computer technology. 

Books You Need to Buy for This Class

Book One: Acting Out Culture, 3rd edition, edited by James S. Miller

Book Two: It’s Beginning to Hurt by James Lasdun

Book Three: Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

Book Four: Rules for Writers, 8^th edition by Diana Hacker

Other Materials You Need: 2 large size blue books for in-class exams 

Total Words Written in Semester: 8,000; Total Points: 820

One. First four 1,400-word essays are 100 points each.

Two. Final 1,400-word essay is 200 points.

Three. The final essay, Number 5, is 200 points and needs a completed typed draft for peer edit due the class before the final draft is due. This completed draft is worth 20 points.

Four. In-Class Reading Exams are 500 words for 100 points each.

Total Points: 820

Essay Options

 

Essay 1: 1,400 words typed and 3 sources: Hard copy and turnitin upload due September 8

Curtis Silver’s “The Quagmire of Social Media Friendships” (444) alleges certain pathologies result from social media. These pathologies include an empathy deficit, narcissism, shortened attention span, online shaming, and even altered brain development. In an argumentative essay, support, refute, or complicate the assertion from Sherry Turkle’s “The Flight from Conversation” (online essay) that social media is harmful for our social, cultural and intellectual development.

Essay 2 Options: 1,400 words typed and 3 sources: Hard copy and turnitin upload due September 29

Refute, support, or complicate Asma’s assertion that green guilt is not only a relative to religious guilt but speaks to our drive to sacrifice self-indulgence for the drive of altruistic self-preservation and social reciprocity. See Elizabeth Anderson’s online essay “If God Is Dead, Is Everything Permitted?”

Develop a thesis that supports, refutes, or complicates the assertion Debra J. Dickerson, who wrote the “The Great White Way,” would find Michael Eric Dyson's essay "Understanding Black Patriotism" a complement to Dickerson's ideas about race, power, and hierarchy.

Support, refute, or complicate Debra J. Dickerson's argument that race in America is more of a social fantasy than a reflection of objective reality. 

Develop a thesis that analyzes the human inclination for staying within the tribe of sameness as explained in David Brooks’ “People Like Us.”

Support, refute, or complicate Nicholas Kristof’s assertion that slashing food stamps is morally indefensible.

Addressing at least two essays we've covered in class, support, refute, or complicate the argument that overeating, anorexia, and other eating disorders are not the result of a disease but are habits of individual circumstance and economics.

Essay 3 for 1,400 words typed options and 3 sources: Due October 20

 

Support, refute, or complicate the argument that “Against School” and “Preparing Minds for Markets” persuasively evidence that American education is more about protecting private business interests, maintaining class bias, and asserting mass control than it is about promoting real empowerment such as critical thinking, independence, and freedom. 

Develop an analytical thesis that compares the themes of learned helplessness and the vicious downward spiral of poverty as they are evident in “The Consequences: Undoing Sanity” and “How the Poor Are Made to Pay for Their Poverty.” Is this downward spiral convincing or an “excuse for the poverty that poor people choose”? Explain.

Support, refute, or complicate Alfie Kohn’s assertion from “Degrading to De-grading” that grading is an inferior education tool that all conscientious teachers should abandon.

Support, refute, or complicate the inferred lesson from bell hooks’ essay, “Learning in the Shadow of Race and Class” that upward mobility requires a betrayal of one’s economic class and even family.

In the context of “Unspeakable Conversations,” defend, refute, or complicate Peter Singer’s position that there are moral grounds for infanticide or “mercy killings.” 

In the context of “Our Baby, Her Womb,” support, defend, or complicate the argument that surrogate motherhood is a moral abomination.

In the context of Kristina Rizga’s “Everything You’ve Heard About Failing Schools Is Wrong,” support, refute, or complicate the assertion that standardized testing is a money-making canard sodden with incompetence, moral bankruptcy, and the very accountability it claims to exact upon teachers and students.

In the context of John Taylor Gatto’s “Against School,” support, refute, or complicate the argument that that American education is more about protecting private business interests, maintaining class bias, and asserting mass control than it is about promoting real empowerment such as critical thinking, independence, and freedom. 

Essay 4 for 1,400 words typed based on James Lasdun’s It’s Beginning to Hurt is due November 10:

 

Comparing at least 3 stories from Lasdun’s collection, develop an analytical thesis that shows how Joseph Epstein’s online essay “The Perpetual Adolescent” supports the assertion that Lasdun’s characters self-destruct under the weight of their adolescent fixation. 

Essay 5: Final Argumentative, 1,400-Word Research Paper Is 200 points and 5 sources and is Due December 14: 

Option One

In a 1,400-word essay, defend, support, or refute the argument that Man’s Search for Meaning gives us a cogent, appropriate and insightful analysis for evaluating Nikolai’s moral dissolution in the Chekhov short story “Gooseberries.”

Second Alternative Option:

In a 1,400-word essay, defend, support, or complicate the argument that the determinism evident in the 1999 Alexander Payne film Election is a compelling refutation of Frankl's notion that we are free to find meaning as a cure for our despair and self-destruction. Recommended Research Link for Alternative Option: http://sensesofcinema.com/2012/feature-articles/chance-and-choice-biology-and-theology-in-alexander-paynes-election/

Third Alternative Option

In a 1,400-word essay, defend, support, or complicate the argument that even though Frankl’s philosophy is informed by his religious faith, one need not be religious to embrace Frankl’s precepts and principles. You can concede that Frankl’s book is “religious” but not in the narrow sense of the word. Rather, it is universally religious. On the other hand, some will argue that the theistic religion that informs Frankl’s philosophy is too narrow to accommodate secular and atheist thinkers. Take a position and explain. You may want to consult Elizabeth Anderson’s “If God Is Dead, Is Everything Permitted?”

Fourth Alternative Option

In a 1,400-word essay, defend, support, or complicate the argument that Groundhog Day character Phil Connors’ spiritual malaise and eventual spiritual transformation can be analyzed through the lens of the principles in Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning.

Fifth Option:

Defend, refute, or complicate the argument that Man’s Search for Meaning is the greatest anti-self-help self-help book ever written.

Consider these distinguishing qualities of traditional self-help books:

1. They deny suffering as the central feature of human existence
2. They play into reader’s narcissistic fantasy of being special and at the center of the universe.
3. They promise easy solutions based on gimmicks intended to look like “insights.”
4. They promise easy solutions using common sense dressed up in jargon and pretentious language.
5. They tend to condescend to the reader, treating him like a child. There is an infantile, dumbed-down quality to them.
6. They make false promises about happiness and self-fulfillment.
7. They make being a selfish self-centered lout acceptable and “noble.”
8. They place selfish self-interest and self-indulgence over responsibility to oneself and others.

Your guidelines for your Final Research Paper are as follows: 

This research paper should present a thesis that is specific, manageable, provable, and contestable—in other words, the thesis should offer a clear position, stand, or opinion that will be proven with research.   

You should analyze and prove your thesis using examples and quotes from a variety of sources.   

You need to research and cite from at least five sources.  You must use at least 3 different types of sources.     

At least one source must be from an ECC library database.    

At least one source must be a book, anthology or textbook.    

At least one source must be from a credible website, appropriate for academic use.  

The paper should not over-rely on one main source for most of the information. Rather, it should use multiple sources and synthesize the information found in them. 

This paper will be approximately 5-7 pages in length, not including the Works Cited page, which is also required.  This means at least 5 full pages of text.  The Works Cited page does NOT count towards length requirement.     

You must use MLA format for the document, in-text citations, and Works Cited page.   

You must integrate quotations and paraphrases using signal phrases and analysis or commentary.  

You must sustain your argument, use transitions effectively, and use correct grammar, spelling, and punctuation. 

Your paper must be logically organized and focused.   

 

Late papers reduced a full grade. No late papers accepted a week past due date.  If you turn in paper more than a week late, you not earn more than a D plus.

Peer Edit

You must do a peer edit. You must show up to class on peer edit day with a completed typed draft for 20 points.

You Can’t “Ride” the Class

If you’re “riding” the class, that is missing more than 10% of classes and not keeping up with assignments, you can’t fulfill the Student Learning Outcomes, and you will be dropped.

You Must Use turnitin to submit essay and bring hard copy on due date

Each essay must be submitted to www.turnitin.com where it will be checked for illegal copying/plagiarism. I cannot give credit for an essay that is not submitted to this site by the deadline.   

The process is very simple; if you need help, detailed instructions are available at http://turnitin.com/en_us/training/student-training/student-quickstart-guide   

You will need two pieces of information to use the site: 

Class ID and Enrollment Password, which I will give you first week of class

Classroom Decorum: No smart phones can be used in class. If you’re on your smart phone and I see you, you get a warning the first time. Second time, you must leave the class and lose 25 points. Third time, you must leave the class and lose 50 points.  The above also applies to talking and doing homework from other classes. 

Tardies:

It’s reasonable to be late a couple of times a semester, but some students consistently show up late to class, and this distraction compromises the learning environment significantly. Therefore, starting on the fourth tardy, 50 points must be deducted from total grade and another 25 points must be deducted for every tardy after that.

Reading and Writing Schedule

8-30 Introduction of class policies and first essay

9-1 “Quagmire of Social Media Friendships” 444-448 and online “The Flight from Conversation”; MLA format and signal phrases

9-6 “Empathy Deficit” 464-469; 13-year-olds and social media video

9-8 Essay 1 Due; “Green Guilt” 25-30; paragraphs and PEEL method, MLA in-text citations, comma splices

9-13 “The Great White Way” 68-70; “Understanding Black Patriotism” 52-55; types of thesis; pronoun errors

9-15 “People Like Us” 62-67; Top 20 Writing Errors

9-20 “Prudence or Cruelty?” 172-175; Methods of Introductions and Conclusions

9-22 “Wages of Sin” and “Add Cake, Subtract Self-Esteem” 181-202

9-27 In-Class Reading Exam 1

9-29 Essay 2 Due; “From Degrading to De-Grading” 238-249

10-4 “Learning in the Shadow of Race and Class” 287-295

10-6 “Unspeakable Conversations” 96-112

10-11 “Our Baby, Her Womb” 418-430

10-13 “Everything You’ve Heard About Failing Schools Is Wrong” 252-270; “Against School” 271-279

10-18 “Against School” 271-279

10-20 Essay 3 Due; read “The Perpetual Adolescent” in class

10-25 “An Anxious Man” 3-23 and “The Incalculable Life Gesture” 24-63

10-27 “The Natural Order”

11-1 “The Half Sister” and “Lime Pickle”

11-3 “Peter Kahn’s Third Wife”

11-8 In-Class Reading Exam 2

11-10 Essay 4 Due; Introduce Chekhov’s “Gooseberries” theme and assignment

11-15 Man’s Search for Meaning Lesson 1

11-17 Man’s Search for Meaning Lesson 2

11-22 Man’s Search for Meaning Lesson 3

11-24 Holiday

12-1 Man’s Search for Meaning Lesson 4

12-6 Man’s Search for Meaning Lesson 5

12-8 Man’s Search for Meaning Lesson 6

12-13 Peer Edit

12-15 Final Essay is due

 

Peer Edit for Typed Essay (First Draft)

 

First Page

 

1. Do you have a salient, distinctive title that is relevant to your topic and thesis?
2. Do you have your name, instructor’s name, the course, and date (in that order) at the top left?

 

Format

 

1. Are you using 12-point font with Times New Roman?
2. Are your lines double-spaced?
3. Is your font color black?
4. Do you make sure there are no extra spaces between paragraphs (some students erroneously use 4 spaces between paragraphs)
5. Do you use 1-inch margins?
6. Do you use block format for quotes of 4 or more lines in which you indent another inch from the left margin?

Introduction

1. Does your introduction have a compelling hook using an anecdote, a troubling current event, a startling statistic, etc.?
2. Do you avoid pat phrases or clichés? For example, “In today’s society . . .” or “In today’s modern world . . .” or “Since the Dawn of Man . . .”

Thesis

1. Do you have a thesis that articulates your main purpose in clear, specific language?
2. Is your thesis sophisticated in that it makes an assertion that goes beyond the obvious and self-evident?
3. Is your thesis debatable?
4. Do you address your opponents with a concession clause? (While opponents of my proposal to raise the minimum wage to $22 an hour make some compelling points, their argument collapses when we consider _____________, _______________, __________________, and ________________. )
5. Does your thesis have explicit or implicit mapping components that outline the body paragraphs of your essay?

 

Questions from Your Reader (write on a separate page so you’ll have more room to write)

One. What’s most compelling about the essay so far?

Two. What is most needed for improvement so far?

Three. Something I would like the writer to explain more is . . .

Four. One last comment would be . . .

Five. What is the writer’s thesis?

Six. On a scale of 1-10, how compelling is the thesis and what could make it more compelling?

Seven. On a scale of 1-10, how effective is the title? Could it be improved? How?

Eight. Does the writer have well developed paragraphs with clear topic sentences?

Nine. Does the writer use a diversity of paragraph transitions?

Ten. Does the writer use diverse and appropriate signal phrases?

Half of English 1A Students Drop. Why?

1. Students come to class with severe grammar deficits as I did when I was a college freshman. 
2. Students don't keep up with the work and in effect "ride" the class.
3. Students get distracted by personal drama. 
4. Students are in the habit of procrastination, which compromises their work quality. 
5. Students are in the trap of learned helplessness, which convinces them they can't perform to their true abilities. 
6. Students work too many hours and get burned out.
7. Students get sick and fall behind. 
8. Students panic, and their anxiety sabotages their ability to think clearly.  
9. Students don't learn the research writing process, piece by piece, or brick by brick. Rather, they try to build a house in one day, go into a panic, and their house never gets built. 
10. Students are in the habit of making excuses for not getting their work done. They also have a complicated narrative to excuse their failure to make due dates and do the kind of work they need to do. 
11. The students are asleep and don't realize, in their slumber, how competitive and brutal the workforce is, and their school work reflects that lack of awareness. 

Five Things I Look for in a College Student

I don't care where you're from or what schools you attended or what level of grammar you have or what your major is or if you have a "life plan."

Here's what I do care about:

One. Do you have grit or do you retreat into learned helplessness? I was a combination of both, so it's not an either/or answer. 

Two. Are you boring or are you interesting? 

Three. Do you pay attention to details? 

Four. Do you make my life easy by showing up on time and turning in assignments by the due date, or do you always have a long, convoluted "story" for not showing up and getting the assignments turned in and thereby become a source of intractable tribulation? 

Five. Are you being authentic in your dealings with me, or are you putting up a facade? 

Motivations for Going to College

You go to college for one or all of the following 3 reasons:

1. micro level: You have a very specific goal: You go to college because you want to make money with your major.

From this micro-level point of view, college, whether you like it or not, is a "necessary evil" to be undertaken because of fear of poverty, family pressure, or self-inflicted shame that compels one to go to college in order to acquire what one perceives as a desired job and social status. 

2. mid-level macro: Your attitude toward college is not as hostile as the purely micro-level student. You realize that required classes out of your major, such as English 1A, help you improve  your writing and research skills, which help you succeed in many of your college classes. In other words, writing, and math for that matter, are part of the foundation of your education. 

As someone who believes in building a foundation for your education to help you with your major, you are a mid-level macro student.

You may be a business or economics major, for example, and realize that writing and communication skills make you more competitive in the fields of business and finance. 

3. max-level macro: You don't merely want an education to increase your wealth, status and career prospects.

You go to college to help yourself undergo a radical transformation from a child, an obedient, mindless consumer, to a critically thinking adult.

You see English 1A as part of your quest to acquire literacy, which results in the transformation into a critical thinker.

In other words, English 1A develops critical thinking skills and becoming a critical thinker is an essential part of leaving the mindless child stage, that of the obedient consumer, to becoming an adult.  

I would argue that it's in your interest to be a critical thinker, but many people, including very intelligent people, refuse to be critical thinkers because they prefer to live mindlessly, having judged, incorrectly in my view, that a mindless life is easier than a critically-minded one. 

12 Things You Can Do to Increase Your Success in English 1A

We read that in the latest study by the Institute for Higher Education, Leadership & Policy at Cal State Sacramento that only 30% of California community college students are transferring or getting their degrees. We have a real challenge in the community college if 70% are falling by the wayside. 

There are several reasons for so many students being at risk for failing. Here's one:

At a recent meeting our Dean told us that 85% of the student body come to our college with severe grammar deficits.

Imagine the intimidation a new college student feels with severe grammar deficits and knowing that 70% of students will not transfer or get a degree.

It's like showing up to a jiu-jitsu tournament against blue belts and you know you only have a white belt. 

From what I’ve observed in the classroom, here are 12 things you can do to improve your chances of succeeding in freshman composition.

One. Shut off your cell phone.

Being distracted on your smartphone sends a horrible impression to the instructor and the other students. It's hostile, passive-aggressive behavior.

Nothing signals disrespect to the instructor and other students who show an unhealthy dependence on their phones.

I promise you college instructors notice students who are on their cell phones and appreciate students who are not.

The cell phone prevents you from being in the habit of focusing on one thing. Scattered attention and multitasking kill composition success.

Two. You need to not be ashamed for showing up to class without grammar skills. We all have to begin somewhere.

Your white belt isn’t just your skill level. It’s your maturity level. I went to college at 17. I was in remedial math and English. It doesn't mean I was dumb. It means I was under-prepared and immature. 

Three. You Need to Reinforce Classroom Instruction

When I studied jiu-jitsu with Jener Gracie 13 years ago, I noticed something. The once a week lesson was worthless unless I showed up several days a week to spar with other students. You have to reinforce the lesson with repetition.

Having a lesson from your instructor is not an end; it’s a beginning.

You can reinforce your instructors’ writing lessons by looking up the same exercises in other books, the Internet, and YouTube videos.

I’ve had students tell me I didn’t understand the math instructor’s calculus lesson, so I studied it on YouTube and now I get it.

Four. You Need to Feed Off Your Strength

When you go to the gym and lose fat and gain muscle, you feel more motivated to return to the gym. It becomes self-feeding.

When you study martial arts and climb the ladder and experience more confidence, you are more motivated to continue.

You have to experience the same sense of self-improvement in college to stay motivated.

Because my students struggle with grammar at an excessive level, they get very discouraged. Often, their grammar gets worse, not better, further into the semester.

I have to remind them that they are improving in certain areas: Writing signal phrases, finding credible research, organizing their essays, following a sound argument structure.

Grammar remains the Achilles heel, but I have to show their strengths with their weaknesses.

Five. You Learn Not to Let Your Weaknesses Overwhelm You

There are grammar books with 5,000 rules. If you try to play catch-up, you’ll be overwhelmed and quit. Find out 3-5 grammar and punctuation mistakes you’re consistently making and attack those 5 mistakes.

Your goal for the semester should be to eradicate those mistakes.

90 percent of my composition students make 3 mistakes over and over: sentence fragments, comma splices, and noun-pronoun agreement errors.

If you’re a white belt in jiu-jitsu, you can’t expect to learn all the moves in 16 weeks. You learn the basics: Passing the guard, escaping a headlock, making an arm lock, performing a rear choke hold.

Likewise, in grammar learn the 5 things you’re consistently having trouble with.

Six. You Need to Re-Condition Your Response to Failures and Setbacks

In Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl teaches us that setbacks, conflict, loss, and suffering are inevitable.

Our overreactions or inappropriate actions to conflict become our enemy. In other words, we are own worst enemy.

As you struggle in a martial arts class, the sensei is not your enemy. You are at war with yourself.

In college, you become your number one impediment to progress.

When my daughters have tantrums, if I overreact with rage, their tantrums last longer. I simply compound the craziness. If I stay calm and composed, I can minimize their tantrums.

I’ve learned over the years to control my response to their tantrums, not because I’m mature, but because I’m selfish. It’s in my self-interest for them to get over their tantrum as soon as possible.

Seven. Get Rid of Energy Vampires from Your Life

The sensei wants his students to focus, which means excluding distractions or what I like to call Energy Vampires.

The one thing that impresses me when my girls are in the dojo is the silence. A lot of their exercises are done with mindful silence. That’s why there are no cell phones allowed, even in the lobby.

Go home and make a list o Energy Vampires:

Reading consumer reviews all day on the Internet. You could spend a whole day reading Amazon and other reviews of digital cameras. You could burn a day on the Internet easily.

Answering texts.

Answering social media messages.

You could burn a whole day texting and gossiping with friends.

Hanging out with associates from high school who are content with being 16 years

old for the rest of their lives.

Speaking of friends, some people you associate with from high school may not be on your college track. They may not be as mature as you. They may be in the Life Is a Big Party phase of their lives.

Most likely they’re Energy Vampires. You need to cut your ties from them. It may be cruel, but it’s the only way for you to survive.

The more Energy Vampires you identity and get rid from your life, the more you’ll be able to focus on the getting more knowledge, getting more independent, and getting more advanced in your climb up the educational ladder.

Eight. Learn That You Can’t Improve Your Skills Without Changing the Whole Person

In martial arts, the skills improve along with the person’s maturity. One doesn’t happen without the other. This is one reason martial arts are so popular with parents.

Often, your maturity will result in your losing some of your friends who didn’t mature. You may feel guilty for abandoning them, but you shouldn’t. They’ve made their choice.

One of my students wrote about this: A friend dropped out of college to work 3 jobs so he could make his BMW payments. He drove the BMW to the front of El Camino on Crenshaw and was screaming at his friends to look at his new car. My student said he and his friends had to rush to their English class and the BMW owner was all alone in the parking lot with no one to admire his new set of wheels.

Nine. You’re Not Alone in the Dark Woods. We start at the bottom.

We’re in this together. We work as a community. We’re interdependent on one another. We ask question. We’re fighting for the same end. We want you to have a higher belt so you can go to the next level. Your teacher is not your enemy or antagonist. Your teacher is your sensei who wants you to have the required skills to get a higher belt.

Being alone is tough as a student. I had a student from Korea. He was once popular, but when he came to America with his limited English language skills, he found himself isolated and fed his emotional neediness by eating at Jack in the Box every day. Within a year, he gained 100 pounds. 

Try not to be a Lone Ranger in your educational quest. 

Ten. You Have to Show Up On Time Every Time: This speaks to accountability, respect, and dedication.

If you don’t show up or if you show up late, the sensei doesn’t want you there. There’s a long line of students who want to show up on time every time. The sensei doesn’t have time to waste.

I can tell you after 30 years of teaching there’s a huge difference in student performance between those who show up on time every day and those who don’t. Just the show of respect alone is huge. But this respect translates into higher performance, listening skills, and turning in assignments on time as well.

It would be nice if the community college were this Giant Martial Arts Studio. That’s not going to happen, but you can approach it like one and you’ll be all the stronger for it.

Eleven. If You’re Afraid of Taking a Writing Class, Embrace the Fear.

Fear can be a motivator. When I was 24 and working as a part-time English instructor, my high school buddies praised me, but I told them to quiet down. I was scared. I didn’t show great discipline. Fear compelled me to do what I had to do. I didn’t see any options other than finishing college.

I have a lot of fearful, anxious students who come up to me and say, “McMahon, I’m terrified. I don’t think I can do this.”

Usually these students do rather well.

It’s the calm students who sleep walk through class who fail.

Who would you rather be, the fearful student who does well, or the calm, zenned-out student who fails?

I dropped some classes. I received a letter warning me that if I didn’t improve my scholastic performance, I would be put on academic probation.

The letter did two things: Scared the hell out of me. The fear was an invaluable motivator.

The letter did a second thing to me: It injured my pride. My failings as a student had resulted in a day of reckoning. I was accountable for improving my performance or I’d suffer the humiliation of being suspended from college.

White belts like myself are going to suffer fear and humiliation. It’s part of the growing up process.

Twelve. Finish Your Essays Early and Read Them Aloud in Front of a Mirror Or Proofread Them.

I’ve taken surveys of my students. I will ask them who proofread their essay, and about 10 percent will raise their hand. The other 90 percent procrastinate, wait till the last minute, to rush an essay, and they wonder why they’re not improving.

Einstein said insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

What Is a Critical Thinker and How Does English 1A Contribute to Becoming One?

9 Components of Critical Thinking

(First 7 components are modified from B.K. Scheffer and M.G. Rubenfeld, authors of Critical Thinking Tactics for Nurses)

One. Analyzing: 

You break something into its parts.  

Often the parts are the reasons behind something.

The reasons for ongoing inflating real estate prices in Southern California are the following:

shortage of real estate meets ever growing population

historically cheap interest rates

infusion of Chinese wealth as many Chinese look to prime American real estate as the best place they can invest their money

Not only do we use analysis for examining causes, we use analysis to break down something into its distinguishing characteristics.

In college writing classes, you use analysis--breaking things into their parts--for cause and effect and extended definition essays. 

Critical Thinking Means Knowing Your Terms Through Extended Definition

Example of Extended Definition: 

Mindless consumerism can be broken down into the following distinguishing characteristics: 

The mindless consumer embraces “cool” fads and trends because lacking an identity of his own he wishes to glom onto a prefabricated identity provided by consumer culture.

His Apple computer makes him the hipster far superior to his neighbor who owns a PC and is therefore a lowly "peasant."

The mindless consumer believes acquiring material goods will result in popularity and belonging with the desirable clique or “tribe.” 

The mindless consumer confuses brand-identity with self-identity. 

The mindless consumer uses consumerism as a substitute for real emotional needs such as love, creativity, self-validation, belonging, and wisdom, to name a few. 

Because consumer acquisitions are always a failed attempt to meet real emotional needs, the mindless consumer constantly suffers from being in a state of wanting more and more.

In the above example, we broke down the distinguishing characteristics of a mindless consumer. 

Two. Applying Standards 

You judge according to rules or criteria. You use this type of critical thinking in an argumentative and classification essay. 

Examples of Applying Standards

You are a jiu-jitsu master and you must know when a student has elevated to a black belt. If you award a black belt to a student who has failed to meet the criteria and send that student to a black belt tournament, the student will be crushed in the competition. You could be responsible for that student's death. 

In a similar example, you are a community college English instructor and you award an A to a freshman student who has failed to meet the criteria for passing the class. That student goes to USC and gets crushed in all his writing classes. The above examples show that we must apply a criteria to our judgments.

In a consumer example, you may be able to afford a Hummer, a vehicle that appeals to you, but it fails to meet the criteria for your needs: Good gas mileage, small enough to park in urban spaces, low service and maintenance costs, etc. A mindless consumer "just buys it" because "it's fun" whereas a critical consumer applies a criteria to his or her purchases. 

Three. Discriminating 

You recognize differences and similarities resulting in a ranking system. 

Examples 

You are writing a research paper about the American health care system and through your research you discover that the United States spends twice its GDP on health care as other developed nations; however, the United States is ranked LAST in health care quality. You further discover that in other developed countries no one dies from treatable disease; however, in the United States every year over 25,000 Americans die from treatable disease.

By examining the United States’ health care system in the context of other developed countries, you are in a better position to judge America’s health care system as an abysmal failure. 

In your history class, you study Christopher Columbus “discovering” America and you learn that there are different levels of historical narratives. 

There is the mythical, propagandistic narrative that paints Columbus as a hero who “discovered” America. 

There is the real narrative that paints Columbus for what he really was, a barbaric sociopath who slaughtered, enslaved and tortured indigenous people as he pillaged their country. 

In other words, in college you learn there are different ways of interpreting history according to one’s political and philosophical worldview and objective. 

Four. Information Seeking 

You learn to ask the right questions when presented with a problem.

Example 

Why is the United States prison system growing in a time of decreasing crime?

Why has the incarceration rate quadrupled in the last 3 decades during a crime lull?

Then in response to these questions we see that the prison industry makes billions of dollars in annual revenue, has stock options, and employs over 2 million people. There is a business interest, that is to say money interest, in making prisons flourish. 

Why do poor people of color get sentenced to prison 10 times greater than whites for the same crimes?

Because it is argued that the prison business system preys on the poor and people historically denied privilege and justice. 

We don't start making these inferences until we begin with learning to ask important questions. 

Five. Logical Reasoning 

You draw inferences or conclusions from evidence. 

You call someone that you are romantically attracted to and after 3 calls they still haven’t called you back. You infer that you are OUT and should stop calling unless you want to be perceived as a stalker. Why? Because no reciprocity means no relationship. You are making an intelligent inference. 

Every time you go to a family event, you overeat and hate yourself afterward, not because the food was great but because you were bored. You make the following logical inference: You’re an emotional eater.

Every time you have a girlfriend, your college GPA goes down. After five girlfriends and observing a correlation with a sinking GPA and being in a relationship, you conclude that you might be better served waiting until after graduating college to pursue romance. That would be a wise inference. 

In a similar example as above, every time you hang out with your non-college-attending buddies, you score low on a college test; every time you don’t hang out with them, you get As on your tests: You infer that it’s time to break those ties. That would be a wise inference. 

If you're the same guy who can't be in a relationship AND you can't hang out with your high school buddies, you may infer that your college years may require a certain level of solitude. That, too, my friend, would be a wise inference. 

In a college argumentative essay, you have to write about the United States health care system. Through your research you discover that the United States spends twice its GDP on health care as other developed nations; however, the United States is ranked LAST in health care quality.

You infer or conclude that the American health care insurance companies are getting all the money while denying Americans necessary service. Your conclusion would be correct.

Six. Predicting 

You take current information and project how this information will shape the future.

Example 

It’s been claimed by some sociologists that America is ten years behind Japan in social trends. Today in Japan a large percentage of young people, addicted to virtual realities on the Internet, have lost interest in romance and relationships and are called “herbivores.” Ten years from now we may see a similar phenomenon in America. We already see evidence of this with fewer and fewer young Americans getting married and having children, largely for economic reasons. 

Seven. Transferring Knowledge 

You apply knowledge from one field to another. 

Example 

Cesar Milan, known as “The Dog Whisperer,” shows dog owners how to be “calm and assertive” in order to bring calm and discipline to their dogs. You can apply Milan’s methods to childrearing and become a “Child Whisperer.” 

Eight. Metacognition (The Third Eye) 

You develop the habit of distancing yourself from your heated emotional states and learn to observe and manage your irrational, compulsive, and self-destructive behavior. 

Example 

A husband and wife are in an escalating argument, and the husband’s Third Eye, his metacognition, rises to the ceiling and looks down at him and his wife, and the husband anticipates that angry words are about to be exchanged, words that can never be erased, words that will leave permanent damage to the relationship, words that actually might kill the relationship. In that moment, the husband clutches his stomach and screams, “Oh my God! My stomach!” He rushes to the bathroom, locks the door, and cools off for 2 hours. He just saved the relationship.

Nine. Putting Things into Historical Context

You have a deeper understanding of current events because you can see those events in the context of history.

Examples

Are Civil War reenactments (which tend to glorify Confederacy soldiers) innocent fun giving honor to American history or are they a disgraceful mythologizing of white supremacy?

If you study history, you will learn that the Confederacy was an ideology based on an evil religion called White Supremacy, which aggrandized one race in order to justify cruelty and exploitation of another race. 

Seen in this historical context, Confederacy Army glorification achieved through war re-enactments is an abomination. 

Critical Thinking Vs. Mindless Consumerism

I had a student who took a scholarship to UNLV and left her boyfriend because by staying local and marrying him she saw a life of mindless consumerism.

Mindless consumers have no critical thinking skills. They don't use analysis, logic, or metacognition. They are portrayed in the following  John Verdant essay "The Ables Vs. The Binges."

Becoming a Critical Thinker Is Painful Because It Often Entails a Break from the People in Your Past (those who don't go on the critical thinking journey)

To become a critical thinker often alienates us from people that we grew up with during our "pre-critical thinking days."

When you go to college, there are people in your life who may accuse you of "becoming uppity."

Some students talk about "dying to their old life" the way a guy with kids quits playing poker with his buddies.

The pain of this growing apart from friends and family is expressed in bell hooks' essay "Learning in the Shadow of Class and Race."

We read that in the latest study by the Institute for Higher Education, Leadership & Policy at Cal State Sacramento that only 30% of California community college students are transferring or getting their degrees. We have a real challenge in the community college if 70% are falling by the wayside. 

There are several reasons for so many students being at risk for failing. Here's one:

At a recent meeting our Dean told us that 85% of the student body come to our college with severe grammar deficits.

Imagine the intimidation a new college student feels with severe grammar deficits and knowing that 70% of students will not transfer or get a degree.

It's like showing up to a jiu-jitsu tournament against blue belts and you know you only have a white belt. 

From what I’ve observed in the classroom, here are 12 things you can do to improve your chances of succeeding in freshman composition.

One. Shut off your cell phone.

Nothing signals disrespect to the instructor and other students who show an unhealthy dependence on their phones.

I promise you college instructors notice students who are on their cell phones and appreciate students who are not.

The cell phone prevents you from being in the habit of focusing on one thing. Scattered attention and multitasking kill composition success.

Two. You need to not be ashamed for showing up to class without grammar skills. We all have to begin somewhere.

Your white belt isn’t just your skill level. It’s your maturity level. I went to college at 17. I was in remedial math and English. I dropped some classes. I received a letter warning me that if I didn’t improve my scholastic performance, I would be put on academic probation.

The letter did two things: Scared the hell out of me. The fear was an invaluable motivator.

The letter did a second thing to me: It injured my pride. My failings as a student had resulted in a day of reckoning. I was accountable for improving my performance or I’d suffer the humiliation of being suspended from college.

White belts like myself are going to suffer fear and humiliation. It’s part of the growing up process.

Three. You Need to Reinforce Classroom Instruction

When I studied jiu-jitsu with Jener Gracie 13 years ago, I noticed something. The once a week lesson was worthless unless I showed up several days a week to spar with other students. You have to reinforce the lesson with repetition.

Having a lesson from your instructor is not an end; it’s a beginning.

You can reinforce your instructors’ writing lessons by looking up the same exercises in other books, the Internet, and YouTube videos.

I’ve had students tell me I didn’t understand the math instructor’s calculus lesson, so I studied it on YouTube and now I get it.

Four. You Need to Feed Off Your Strength

When you go to the gym and lose fat and gain muscle, you feel more motivated to return to the gym. It becomes self-feeding.

When you study martial arts and climb the ladder and experience more confidence, you are more motivated to continue.

You have to experience the same sense of self-improvement in college to stay motivated.

Because my students struggle with grammar at an excessive level, they get very discouraged. Often, their grammar gets worse, not better, further into the semester.

I have to remind them that they are improving in certain areas: Writing signal phrases, finding credible research, organizing their essays, following a sound argument structure.

Grammar remains the Achilles heel, but I have to show their strengths with their weaknesses.

Five. You Learn Not to Let Your Weaknesses Overwhelm You

There are grammar books with 5,000 rules. If you try to play catch-up, you’ll be overwhelmed and quit. Find out 3-5 grammar and punctuation mistakes you’re consistently making and attack those 5 mistakes.

Your goal for the semester should be to eradicate those mistakes.

90 percent of my composition students make 3 mistakes over and over: sentence fragments, comma splices, and noun-pronoun agreement errors.

If you’re a white belt in jiu-jitsu, you can’t expect to learn all the moves in 16 weeks. You learn the basics: Passing the guard, escaping a headlock, making an arm lock, performing a rear choke hold.

Likewise, in grammar learn the 5 things you’re consistently having trouble with.

Six. You Need to Re-Condition Your Response to Failures and Setbacks

In Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl teaches us that setbacks, conflict, loss, and suffering are inevitable.

Our overreactions or inappropriate actions to conflict become our enemy. In other words, we are own worst enemy.

As you struggle in a martial arts class, the sensei is not your enemy. You are at war with yourself.

In college, you become your number one impediment to progress.

When my daughters have tantrums, if I overreact with rage, their tantrums last longer. I simply compound the craziness. If I stay calm and composed, I can minimize their tantrums.

I’ve learned over the years to control my response to their tantrums, not because I’m mature, but because I’m selfish. It’s in my self-interest for them to get over their tantrum as soon as possible.

Seven. Get Rid of Energy Vampires from Your Life

The sensei wants his students to focus, which means excluding distractions or what I like to call Energy Vampires.

The one thing that impresses me when my girls are in the dojo is the silence. A lot of their exercises are done with mindful silence. That’s why there are no cell phones allowed, even in the lobby.

Go home and make a list o Energy Vampires:

Reading consumer reviews all day on the Internet. You could spend a whole day reading Amazon and other reviews of digital cameras. You could burn a day on the Internet easily.

Answering texts.

Answering social media messages.

You could burn a whole day texting and gossiping with friends.

Hanging out with associates from high school who are content with being 16 years

old for the rest of their lives.

Speaking of friends, some people you associate with from high school may not be on your college track. They may not be as mature as you. They may be in the Life Is a Big Party phase of their lives.

Most likely they’re Energy Vampires. You need to cut your ties from them. It may be cruel, but it’s the only way for you to survive.

The more Energy Vampires you identity and get rid from your life, the more you’ll be able to focus on the getting more knowledge, getting more independent, and getting more advanced in your climb up the educational ladder.

Eight. Learn That You Can’t Improve Your Skills Without Changing the Whole Person

In martial arts, the skills improve along with the person’s maturity. One doesn’t happen without the other. This is one reason martial arts are so popular with parents.

Often, your maturity will result in your losing some of your friends who didn’t mature. You may feel guilty for abandoning them, but you shouldn’t. They’ve made their choice.

One of my students wrote about this: A friend dropped out of college to work 3 jobs so he could make his BMW payments. He drove the BMW to the front of El Camino on Crenshaw and was screaming at his friends to look at his new car. My student said he and his friends had to rush to their English class and the BMW owner was all alone in the parking lot with no one to admire his new set of wheels.

Nine. You’re Not Alone in the Dark Woods. We start at the bottom.

We’re in this together. We work as a community. We’re interdependent on one another. We ask question. We’re fighting for the same end. We want you to have a higher belt so you can go to the next level. Your teacher is not your enemy or antagonist. Your teacher is your sensei who wants you to have the required skills to get a higher belt.

Ten. You Have to Show Up On Time Every Time: This speaks to accountability, respect, and dedication.

If you don’t show up or if you show up late, the sensei doesn’t want you there. There’s a long line of students who want to show up on time every time. The sensei doesn’t have time to waste.

I can tell you after 30 years of teaching there’s a huge difference in student performance between those who show up on time every day and those who don’t. Just the show of respect alone is huge. But this respect translates into higher performance, listening skills, and turning in assignments on time as well.

It would be nice if the community college were this Giant Martial Arts Studio. That’s not going to happen, but you can approach it like one and you’ll be all the stronger for it.

Eleven. If You’re Afraid of Taking a Writing Class, Embrace the Fear.

Fear can be a motivator. When I was 24 and working as a part-time English instructor, my high school buddies praised me, but I told them to quiet down. I was scared. I didn’t show great discipline. Fear compelled me to do what I had to do. I didn’t see any options other than finishing college.

I have a lot of fearful, anxious students who come up to me and say, “McMahon, I’m terrified. I don’t think I can do this.”

Usually these students do rather well.

It’s the calm students who sleep walk through class who fail.

Who would you rather be, the fearful student who does well, or the calm, zenned-out student who fails?

Twelve. Finish Your Essays Early and Read Them Aloud in Front of a Mirror.

I’ve taken surveys of my students. I will ask them who proofread their essay, and about 10 percent will raise their hand. The other 90 percent procrastinate, wait till the last minute, to rush an essay, and they wonder why they’re not improving. Einstein said insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

 

There Is Class Tonight

My jury duty is complete, so there is class tonight at 6 PM. Thank you.

 

 

Students Can Get Free Microsoft Office

Students can get free Microsoft Office. 

English 1A In-Class Essay for December 2, 2015

Develop a thesis that explains how "The Quagmire of Social Media Friendships" by Curtis Silver complements Sherry Turkle's "The Flight from Conversation."

Paul Fussell's Class Lesson One: Writing Options, Defining Social Class, Pages 1-33

 

  

 

Four Writing Options

One. In a 4-page typed essay, support or refute the argument that your matriculation through college, and the major you have chosen (or not), is inextricably entwined with the class status anxieties analyzed in Paul Fussell’s Class. In other words, argue for or against the idea that fear of falling short of America’s status system—a code system that is much more complicated than income level alone—is a significant driving force in your college studies. What evidence is there, or not, that you are beholden to class status codes? What evidence is there, or not, that you have rejected America’s class status script and have carved your own path, so that you love learning for its own sake? Are you an aspiring bourgeois consumer? Are you an “X person”? Explain. Successful essays will show a clear and accurate reading comprehension of Paul Fussell's Class by integrating the book's major principles into your essay. You must have a Works Cited page referring to Class, and two other sources.  

Alternative Option: 

Two. In a 4-page essay, defend, refute, or complicate Fussell’s assertion that class is not as mobile as the American Dream purports it to be; rather, social class is more fixed like a caste system. Successful essays will show a clear and accurate reading comprehension of Paul Fussell's Class by integrating the book's major principles into your essay. You must have a Works Cited page referring to Class, and two other sources. 

Alternative Option:

Three. Using bell hooks' essay "Learning in the Shadow of Race and Class" (Acting Out Culture, pages 287-295), develop a cause and effect analysis thesis that supports Fussell's contention that ascending the class ladder results in colossal psychological upheaval and speaks to the hyper-competition that defines the American Dream. 

Alternative Option:

Four. Develop an analytical thesis about the way class plays in the African American community or another ethnic group. How do race, culture, and history contribute to the unique attitudes minorities attach to the codes of social class? 

Introduction: Defining Class

When we talk about class, we're not really talking about earning power as a sign of upward class mobility. Earning power is part of class, but is actually only a small part of it. 

Another idea of class in America is the idea of mobility and ascent. When we climb the ladder, we use the term arriviste or upstart to describe someone who has gone from "rags to riches."

Part of the American Dream of upward class mobility is going to college and getting a bachelor's degree. Americans see college as a ticket to moving from a lower class to a higher class. We find, though, that less than 14% community college students transfer to college and get a bachelor's. Therefore, this American Dream is not as "easy pickings" as we'd often like to believe. The American Dream is hardly the low hanging fruit that's free for the taking like it was post World War II through the late 1970s for privileged white people. 

Getting to the Heart of Social Class: Perception and Identity

Aside from going up the economic ladder and defining class in sheer numbers, social class is more about identity and the way others perceive us in terms of our rank or status. 

So what we are really talking about is a particular type of American class status, the ranking system that exists uniquely in America. How people perceive us in the American ranking system, and how we perceive ourselves, defines our class. 

We are dependent on validation and often addicted to flattery, so we rely on status cues or status symbols to receive the validation and flattery we crave. 

Material possessions often point to this flattery. For example, a "Platinum" or "Limited" edition car makes us feel special, better, and privileged. And we want others to see this special designation on our car's nameplate. 

Social Class and the Shame Factor

Mythology feeds a lot of our ideas about social class. For example, the rich, according to mythology, are rich because of their superior character. They got rich because they were disciplined, hard-working, and willing to sacrifice.

Poor people are poor, the mythology goes, because of bad character such as laziness and bad choices.

In other words, we attribute virtue to the rich and exact shame on those who lack earning power. For example, some schools give "shame sandwiches" to students who are behind in their payments. 

To be judged as poor is equivalent to being consigned to the hell of ostracism, shame, and stigmatization. Poverty is not just a monetary state but a psychological state as well. 

Class Privilege, Whiteness, and the Uppity Factor

During times of slavery and Jim Crow, the United States was racially segregated. Therefore, for many years the idea of social class was based on "whiteness" or white privilege. Aspiring to "be white," that is molding oneself on stereotypes of "desirable white behaviors," for many decades was a sign of class. This thing we call whiteness has a certain pretentiousness, hauteur, grandiosity, superciliousness, privilege and entitlement in creating this aura of being "uppity" and "bourgie," a truncated version of the word bourgeoisie and pronounced boo-zhee. 

To be uppity and pretentious was to study the body language and linguistic codes of white privilege. 

To be uppity, a person of white privilege did not only disdain people of different ethnicities and races. The white uppity snob also scorned uneducated white people, who were deemed "peasants" or docile sheep or "trailer trash." 

Class Continues to Flourish Even in the Aftermath of Jim Crow 

Thankfully, there are huge swaths in America today where racism and Jim Crow are correctly deemed low class, ignorant and morally abominable. However, even in these forward thinking educated areas of America, class status not only persists but flourishes. 

Americans of all races are obsessed with the codes that make up social class, the hierarchy or ranking system by which we judge our fellow Americans. Knowingly or not, we use a set of codes to ascribe class rank on others and ourselves. 

The 6 Class Codes

The six major class codes that rank us in America's hierarchy system are the following:

One. Your zip code:

According to Fussell, the higher the concentration of bowling alleys in a zip code, the lower the class ranking. Another sign of low social ranking is a zip code in which daycare centers are ten feet away from "gentleman's clubs." 

Two. Your education rank: 

Your education is evidenced by not only your diploma but your body language, speech cadence and inflection, vocabulary, your sphere of travel, and your grasp of irony. 

Education is also evidenced by speaking many languages, being well traveled, and showing exceptional talent in the arts such as music, painting, and writing. 

Three. Your professional designation:

Terms such as blue-collar ascribe working or lower class. White-collar ascribes upper or middle class. One of the highest classes is the creative class, a term popularized by writer Richard Florida. Creating software and computer apps or being a professor at a prestigious university are examples of the creative class. Working in the arts, media, and design are other examples.   

Four. Your tastes in art, music, entertainment, fashion, transportation, and leisure: 

Class is more than earning power. It is revealed in our tastes. Are our tastes cultivated, current, and educated, and nuanced? Or are they tacky? Tacky is a word associated with low class. Other similar words to describe low class taste are crass, gauche, gaudy, uncouth, unctuous, vulgar, tawdry, and if you want to show off your education, you can use the Russian word poshlost, which means vulgar banality or something that is produced with huge effort to show off but is grotesque and without imagination or humanity. Some people have used the word poshlost to describe vulgar people who define themselves only by their material possessions. Such people are also called philistines.  

Five. Your use of language:

Your vocabulary, cadence, inflection, intonation, lilt, and accent (not necessarily dependent on going to college; you could be autodidactic) are all part of linguistic code you use that determines your social class. Casually using words like interstitial, hauteur, verisimilitude, sycophantic, and synecdoche evidences someone of an educated and therefore higher class. 

Six. Your grasp of irony:

Irony is the wry, sly, and sometimes sarcastic orientation of the educated cosmopolitan, the person who is a connoisseur of life's absurdities, contradictions, and ironic reversals. As a connoisseur of irony, the high-class cosmopolitan is not shocked by life's absurdities, but greets them with an expected sly grin.  

Connoisseurs of irony are also experts at subtle self-deprecation, which gives the implicit message that they are too intelligent to take vanity and self-aggrandizement seriously even though their constant self-deprecation can often be an earnest attempt at being morally superior to those who don't efface themselves with equal rigor. 

Conclusion

Where you live, what degree of education you have, what kind of job you have, how you dress, and entertain yourself, and how you speak all are part of the class code by which our fellow Americans judge and rank us according to the hierarchy system. 

Study Questions from Paul Fussell's Class

One. Why is the subject of economic-social class so sensitive for Americans? 

We too often lack other ways to define ourselves. Our social class, a mix of income and tastes (personal interests, hobbies, and consumer goods), defines us more than anything.

We define ourselves, consciously or unconsciously, by our money, job, trophies, and other consumer goods that cumulatively create our image of class to others in society. 

How others perceive our social class affects how validated or esteemed we are, or not. It is human nature to seek validation, and we find this through social class. 

Class Insecurity in a Hyper-Competitive America

In the 1980s, America, it is agreed by all economists, became hyper-competitive. Real wages fell, and both parents had to work, creating "latchkey kids." Money started siphoning to the 1% and today the problem is worse than ever. 

The idea of class is made worse in an age where the number-one issue perhaps in politics and cultural life is class warfare between the 1 Percent and the Rest of Us.

The sensitivity is further reinforced by the manner in which class status speaks to America's hyper-competitive nature. Already, preschoolers are trying to get an edge for kindergarten. Elementary school students are cramming for SATs. High school students are already volunteering for outstanding citizen projects to put on their resume. 

Many parents micromanage their every child's movement in time to insure maximum productivity toward the goal of competing in the Darwinian marketplace. 

Millennials and Hyper-Competition

Millennials may provide a turning point in this hyper-competition. Unable to buy a house or even pay off their student loans, they may be creating new ways to define themselves based on empathy and cooperation. From this point of view, Fussell's book may be in part outdated.  

With a shrinking middle class and a war—both explicit and implicit—on the poor, the idea of class has never been more volatile. 

Need for Human Belonging and Being a Member of the Club

Our class standing is also sensitive because Americans use class standing as a primary way of judging others and deciding to accept people into "their pack." 

Social Class and American Myth of Equality

And yet another problem of discussing class is that the very idea of class clashes with the American mythology that we are all equal in a democracy that gives everyone "an even playing field."  

Looking at stagnant wages, unaffordable housing, a shrinking middle class, the health care crisis, the education crisis in the inner cities, mass incarceration of the poor, the cost of higher education, and the shrinking of desirable jobs and we have a very sensitive issue on our hands when it comes to talking about class. 

Social Class and Materialism

A very unsophisticated and low-class way of perceiving class is by judging other people based on their material possessions.

Imagine how people judge us in our cars, which are like a reliable ranking system in class-obsessed America. Notice how Mercedes is the apotheosis (ultimate) in perceived success. Notice how Rolex means “you’ve made it to the top, baby.” 

Notice the humility required to drive a Corolla as one works in the pizza delivery service. 

Imagine the embarrassment some might feel pulling up to the valet at Cheesecake Factory in their Corolla while they notice all the other cars are of a Teutonic origin and smack of unapologetic opulence and luxury. 

The Fearful Middle Class

According to Fussell, the class most inclined to get anxious, "testy or irascible" in the presence of a social class discussion is the middle class or the bourgeois. They feel most vulnerable because they are in a class that is most fluid: They can move up or down. 

In contrast, the upper class, often fueled by old money, feels secure in their class status and the proletariat or working class “know they can do little to alter their class identity" because we can infer from Fussell that being low class often results in learned helplessness and a sense of futility.

The two class extremes are more fatalistic while the middle class feels they have a choice in the matter. 

Further, we read that proletariats or lower classes have contempt for class aspirations. As Fussell writes, “Thus the whole class matter is likely to seem like a joke to them—the upper classes fatuous in their empty aristocratic pretentiousness, the middles loathsome in their anxious gentility. "The hell with the rich and the suburbanites. I'm happy with my low-class station in life." 

Two. How do the different classes define class differently? 

Proletariats, the working class, define class by how much money you make. Sheer materialism is the basis of their class ranking system. They could care less about your vocabulary, manner of speech, education level, taste in clothes and music. It's all about the money. 

The middle class says class is a combination of money, education, job type, and manners. The middle class wants to be part of "polite society." 

The upper class says class is a matter of refined tastes, aesthetics, insouciant style, and adhering to the rich’s secret codes of conduct (which Fussell will elaborate on later). But for now let us be content to say a truly rich person would never refer to a limousine as a “limo” or even a limousine. Rather, he would say, “The car is here.” 

Three. What forces in the digital age bridge the gap between the classes and made some of Fussell's points outdated? 

Anyone can have an opinion posted on a blog.

Anyone can post videos on a YouTube channel.

Anyone can engage in self-promotion with the various social media vehicles.

Anyone can “go viral,” which has become a universal metric in judging our relevance.

People of various economic stratums have top-tier smartphones.

In the digital age, job outsourcing has become so great that politicians and media people rarely use the term “middle class” anymore. Now they speak about “average Americans,” suggesting class divisions have changed to Us and The 1%. 

Four. Why is social class as an implicit ranking force so prevalent in America? 

Fussell writes that in America “we lack a convenient system of inherited titles, ranks, and honors, and each generation has to define the hierarchies all over again.” 

How many hits and likes your social media platforms receive could be today’s defined hierarchy of relevance and social esteem. 

We create these hierarchical systems, Fussell points out, because it is in our human nature to seek the esteem and admiration of others. 

Further, Fussell observes that hell is being neglected or held in contempt. Being seen as irrelevant, not being validated, these are the punishments for being at the bottom of the ranking system. These are the hells to be avoided at all costs. 

In a society that sees itself as democratic, we disappear. And by disappearing, we long to reappear by finding distinction. 

Distinction is the tool for ascending the class hierarchy.

But a lot of attempts at distinction come across as misguided, needy, even desperate. 

Too many selfies, too many Facebook posts, too much self-promotion, and we look desperate to use others to fill up our empty vessels. 

Five. What is the dark side of social class in America? 

As we see those laughing and gloating above us in their higher classes, those of us looking upward from our lower position, are afflicted with the curse of envy, the rancor and resentment that comes from perceiving others as enjoying life more than we do. They’ve had more than their fair share, and we’ve been short-changed.  

Bitterness and rancor ensue. 

This bitterness is intensified when we’ve been told that the American Dream affords us social mobility when in fact social mobility is too often the exception and not the rule. 

We now know that economics is the number-one factor in determining one’s body weight. Skinny people are conspicuously rich. The obese are conspicuously lower on the economic rung. 

The visible divide reinforces class envy. 

Another conspicuous class divide is the legal system. People with money go to rehab for drug crimes while the poor go straight to federal prison, and now degraded to felon status, they lose their privileges as American citizens. 

America likes to paint the myth of democracy and a “Classless” America, but we very much indeed tied up in the divisions of economic and social class. 

Six. How does Fussell define “class”? 

Class is a status system based on money, social prestige, and political power. 

The class lines are “rigid” and suggest a caste system, Fussell argues. 

There are different ways Fussell would divide the classes: “rich and poor; employer and employed, landlord and tenant, bourgeois and proletariat.” 

There are gentlemen and there are cads, he writes. 

You are either couth or uncouth (uncivilized, uncultured). 

There are homeowners and renters. 

Fussell explores the possibility of 3 classes: upper, middle, lower. 

However, he resolves that there are in fact 9 in the United States of America:

 

1. Top out-of-sight
2. Upper
3. Upper middle
4. Middle
5. High proletarian
6. Mid-proletarian
7. Low proletarian
8. Destitute
9. Bottom out-of-sight

 

These nine address the social differences more than the economic ones. 

Seven. For Fussell, being rich is no guarantee of being high class. Explain. 

Fussell shows more than implicit contempt for the rich when they engage in the following: 

People engage in vulgar displays of self-aggrandizement through their accumulation of things. 

People with no self-awareness conform to all the clichés of “having made it.” 

People rub your nose into their conspicuous consumption. 

People define themselves solely by their material wealth and possessions. Such people are called philistines, a very disparaging term. 

People rely on their wealth to define their “greatness” while they allow themselves to become humorless, mediocre, and complacent. 

Because of their wealth, some people feel entitled to control and bully others who are “less” than they are. 

Such people in Fussell’s view (and I agree) are petty, vulgar, narcissistic, small-souled, low-class philistines. 

Eight. Why do we know so little of the top class, the out-of-sight rich? 

They are literally out-of-sight. They live in stealth. They don’t want to be seen since their privileges are best maintained without rousing the lower classes. 

Because we rarely see them, we are unaware of their codes, language, clothing, travel, and even spending habits. Yes, we can generalize that their spending habits are extravagant, but we don’t know how specifically extravagant they are. 

Nine. What do the super rich and the super poor have in common? 

Both exist in invisible mode. We don’t see them.

Both receive money without working. The rich get rich from stock dividends, interest, and inheritance. The poor get handouts.

Since neither extreme works for their money, they are both rather unemployable. 

Ten. What are the distinguishing characteristics of the middle class? 

They are inclined to pay each other compliments as a way of reinforcing middle-class standards, values, and aesthetics. 

They are the most insecure of all the classes because they constantly fear they may fail in their middle-class performance and go down the social class elevator. 

They are obsessed with manners, modesty, and etiquette so as to be perceived as “classy” and “good role models for the community.” For example, a domestic argument wouldn’t hit high decibels; in contrast, a working-class or proletarian argument can escalate into an ear-piercing maelstrom or ruckus.  

They are eager to conform to society’s scripts for what constitutes a “decent family” and “achieving the American Dream.”