The purpose of a writing class is to develop a meaningful thesis, direct or implied, that will generate a compelling essay. Most importantly, a meaningful thesis will have a strong emotional connection between you and the material. In fact, if you don’t have a “fire in your belly” to write the paper, your essay will be nothing more than a limp document, a perfunctory exercise in futility. A successful thesis will also be intellectually challenging and afford a complexity worthy of college-level writing. Thirdly, the successful thesis will be demonstrable, which means it can be supported by examples and illustrations in a recognizable organizational design.
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Write 1,000-word essay in which you develop an extended definition of the term narcissism using at least 3 stories. You must have a Works Cited page with no fewer than 3 sources, the stories, my blog, and a source of your choice. about how Wolff’s stories give us a penetrating look at narcissism. Use no fewer than 3 stories from the book.
What Is an Extended Definition?
It contains 3 elements, a single-sentence definition with the term, the class, and the distinguishing characteristics.
The distinguishing characteristics are the mapping components that outline the body paragraphs of your essay.
Examples
Water is a liquid recognized by H2O.
A sycophant is a person who relies on false flattery, spying, groveling, and other types of manipulation to curry favor with a higher-up.
Processed food is a food product that is packaged in boxes, cans, or bags and contains additives, artificial flavors, and other chemical ingredients.
Real food is a whole food from nature that is unaltered, unprocessed, unpackaged, and untouched by the hands of industry.
Nostalgia is a sentiment distinguished by a pain or ache for home, a hunger for "the good old days," and is triggered by smells, music, visions, and other cues.
Ennui is a form of fatigue characterized by dissatisfaction, self-loathing, meaninglessness, and boredom.
The cognoscenti is an exclusive inside group of self-described hipsters who consider themselves more cool, more informed, and more intelligent than the "stupid, toothy peasants who slog across Planet Earth."
When we look at an extended definition, we often attribute distinguishing characteristics by looking at causes and effects.
Example: Defining Narcissism in Brian Gold from "The Chain"
Brian Gold feels humiliated, small, and helpless. He sees power by an act of revenge.
Humiliation feeds the ego's need for grandiosity, a form of narcissism.
Example of Intro and Thesis
I was six years old and trying to tell myself that everything was okay as I walked with some kids to KR Smith Elementary in San Jose, CA. But the smell of rotten tuna wafting from my Captain Kangaroo lunch box was so strong the three boys accompanying me were asking me what the hell that horrible smell was, so we stopped in a field and to appease their curiosity I opened the lunch box and the tuna sandwich, rotten and slimy, mixed with the mayonnaise, had escaped its plastic baggie to create dark ink streaks and odious chunks along the insides of the tin box. The rancid tuna had coated my apple, my orange, and whatever else Mother had put inside for me that day.
One of the kids asked me if I was going to eat this and I shrugged. I assumed I had no choice. It was my lunch after all. So I closed the lunch box and we continued our way to school and then I put my lunch box alongside everyone else’s in the designated coat closet.
During class, Mrs. Corey sniffed along with the other students and crinkling her forehead complained about a rotten fish smell. Other students were squeezing their noses and making mock gagging noises. It was clear Mrs. Corey could not teach until the matter of the rancid fish smell had been solved. The boys I had walked to school with pointed at my offending lunch box upon which Mrs. Corey walked cautiously toward it, as if approaching a landmine, slowly opened the box and stared at its contents as if witnessing an abomination from the bowels of hell. Then looking at me, she said, “Did your mom pack this?”
I nodded and Mrs. Corey winced in a way that castigated my parents, my extended family, and my ancient ancestors and delivered terrified pity on me.
She then closed the lunch box, gave it to the teacher aid to place outside, and announced to the class that my food was unfit for eating and that she needed volunteers to take one thing out of their lunch and give it to me so that I would have something to eat during lunch time.
During the lunch break, I was too mortified to have an appetite and I remained on my blanket while avoiding the odd stares from my classmates. It was my first lesson on how generosity, no matter how well-intentioned, becomes a burden when tinged with pity because the recipient of the charity feels belittled, humiliated and smaller as a human being than the giver. Charity is too often a bargain in which the recipient loses his dignity and feels humiliated in so many intangible ways that accepting the charity becomes impossible.
Sadly, though, Brian Gold, overcome by humiliation, accepts "charity" in Tobias Wolff's masterful story "The Chain" and in doing so he strikes a Faustian Bargain (deal with the devil) that sends him down a rabbit hole of destructive narcissism evidenced by ______________, _____________, ______________, and ____________________.
Two. Narcissism Fuels Spite in “The Chain” 131
One. Spite: The impulse for revenge. More specifically, spite is an obsessive appetite for harming and injuring someone as a form of self-gratification and the misguided pursuit of justice. The narcissist often feels victimized by others or he feels envious of other people being more happy than he is. In both cases, he reacts with spite.
Two. Self-Destructive Spite: “Bite your nose to spite your face” captures the Faustian Bargain of revenge in which the avenger suffers self-mutilation as he seeks misguided “justice.”
Three. What are Brian Gold’s psychological weaknesses that fuel his spite?
1. Self-pity causes resentment, which seeks relief through lashing out at one’s perceived enemy. Gold pities his low station in life. He believes a more grandiose existence, one rich in bling and opulence, will make him happy when in fact what he really needs is integrity and dignity. See page 136.
2. Lacking in self-esteem and self-worth, Brian Gold needs an enemy(a scapegoat) to elevate his self-regard and to appear heroic toward others. See page 132 in which Brian Gold is obsessed with boasting of his heroism to others. See page 137 where he fears people perceive him as being weak and passive for being a Jew. He appears to have an inferiority complex.
3. He resents that people, including himself, question his masculinity and he seeks revenge to impress people like Tom Rourke so that they will give him “Man Points.” See page 135 in which Tom goads Brian into admitting he liked the taste of blood because, we can infer, real men like blood. No real man sits back and lets a dog attack his daughter. A real man gets revenge. In other words, Brian Gold's motivations are to appease his ego rather than do what is best.
4. He feels alone in his anger, feels that his anger is not understood (certainly Brian Gold’s wife doesn’t understand it) and he seeks those who will help him coddle his anger because in part this newfound anger empowers him. Angry husbands do one thing and one thing only: They cause their wives to go into withdrawal mode. If you're angry when it's appropriate, fine, but when you're always angry, you become boring and annoying. You're no longer a husband; you're a whiner. A woman will either tune you out or leave you. See page 133.
5. The aggrieved oversimplifies a single event and allows that one event to be a repository for all the anger and frustration in his life so that in seeking to avenge one injustice when in reality he has consolidated all his anger from many areas of his life and focused on one thing. This is the case of Brian Gold.
6. He has an injured ego, which seeks to restore itself by dominating its perceived enemy. Dealing with an injured ego is extremely difficult because these people become inconsolable, perceiving help or good advice as a form of patronization or manipulation. The person with the injured ego is usually paranoid.
7. Brian Gold has a sense of violated honor, which results in the aggrieved lashing out as misguided attempt at restoring his honor. In an attempt to restore his honor, he resorts to the cheap propaganda of the Taliban, calling the disc jockey a “Child of Satan” to justify his vandalism. See page 144.
8. He possesses self-righteous indignation, which gives the aggrieved an unlimited license to exact justice against his perceived enemy.
9. He is stricken by envy, which causes self-pity and resentment and turns the aggrieved into a “hater” who seeks consolation by degrading and humiliating those he sees enjoy an unfair advantage in life over him. See page 138 where Gold ponders the wealth the owners of the dog enjoy.
10. He has too much alone-time, which allows the aggrieved to dwell and obsess over his perceived grievance, nurturing it and giving it life until it grows beyond his wildest dreams. The craziest people in the world spend too much time alone.
Four. What does the story tell us about the unintended consequences of spite?
1. The aggrieved “bites his nose to spite his face,” meaning that in the process of injuring his enemy he suffers an even greater injury.
2. The aggrieved is so intoxicated by his own self-righteous indignation that he is blind to the self-destruction that results from his spite.
3. The aggrieved often forms alliances with unsavory, even satanic individuals like Tom Rourke, who promise to help carry out his acts of revenge. Once the pact is made with the likes of Rourke, Gold now owes a debt to him and here we arrive at the Faustian Bargain. See pages 140 and 142.
4. Once the aggrieved tastes revenge, he develops an addiction to it so that revenge becomes his only form of “pleasure.”
5. Once the aggrieved begins his act of revenge, he sets into motion a chain of events that grow beyond his control resulting in destruction that is disproportionate to the original infraction.
6. Fixation, stagnation; also called arrested development or emotional retardation.
7. Perdition, a form of shame and punishment that lasts a very long, long time. See page 148.
Five. Defining Narcissism with a single-sentence definition.
You begin your extended definition with a single-sentence definition.
A single-sentence definition has 3 components.
1. term
2. class
3. distinguishing characteristics
Narcissism is a mental disease recognized by extreme self-centeredness, disregard for others, pathological lying, spite, and delusions of grandiosity.
Definition of narcissism by Geoffrey Miller, author of Spent: Narcissism "combines an intense need for admiration by others with a lack of empathy for others."
Six. Sample Essay Structure for Essay #1
In a page, profile a narcissist you know, someone who is afflicted with self-pity, neediness, vanity, resentment, and the kind of insecurity that makes he or she resort to embellishing his or her life with a grand facade, a mask of bling and braggadocio that cannot conceal an emptiness, a self-loathing, and a lack of real meaningful connection to self, others and life. Use concrete details, snippets of dialogue, and a salient anecdote to bring to life this sorry narcissist, who for better or worse, is your friend, relative, family member, or acquaintance.
In your second page, build a bridge between your profile and your analysis of the Tobias Wolff stories. Your bridge, or transition, might start like this: "Likewise, the stories inThe Night in Question feature characters who highlight the same narcissistic qualities as my friend. These qualities show that narcissism is a disease evidenced by _________________________, _____________________________, ________________________, and _____________________________.
Your body paragraphs will expound on the mapping components (indicated by the blanks above)
Writing an Extended Definition
You need to begin with a single-sentence definition, which contains the term, narcissism; the class (mental disease? affliction? spiritual malaise?); and distinguishing characteristics, which may contain the following:
1. self-centeredness that becomes so extreme it's no longer called self-centeredness; it's called solipsism; withdrawing into your own head to the point of being insane.
2. self-pity
3. spite born from envying other people's happiness, real or imagined. In modern America we call these people "haters."
4. low self-esteem accompanied by intense self-loathing.
5. Self-loathing creates the need for a fantasy self, an imagined Grand Self. We call this delusions of grandiosity.
6. A sense of entitlement. "The world owes me."
7. He sees himself as the embattled victim resulting in paranoia. "The world is out to get me."
8. An obsessive need for vindication. "Everyone thinks I'm a loser, but I'll show them." In reality, no one thinks about him one way or the other. No one cares.
Sample Introduction, Transition, and Thesis
Over twenty years ago, I was teaching a composition course on extended definition and the students had to define passive-aggressive behavior: exacting hostility against another person in an underhanded way. There was this beautiful student who wrote her essay about how she hated her father but rather than confront him directly she got the most disgusting boyfriend she could find: ugly, slothful, incontinent, gluttonous, gelatinous. He had dandruff, caked dirt under his fingernails, BO, and of course he didn’t work. This malignant narcissist would luxiriate at her house several hours a day sitting in her father’s favorite chair while watching TV and gorging on chips, dip, and the like. He was full of belches and flatulence and was generally unpleasant. In other words he was the perfect foil, a way for the daughter to rub her father's face in her putrid spite.
Fortunately for her, she realized in writing her essay (it appears my essay assignment saved her life in a way) that she was hurting herself far more than she was hurting her father and this recognition gave her the motivation to break-up with the malodorous, flatulent bum.
I still talk about this girl's essay to my composition students to this day and ask the question: What happened to the smelly ne’er-do-well? If he has half a brain, he has to understand that having this beautiful woman as his girlfriend for so many months was against all odds, an aberration, a freak of nature, a violation of the Laws of Reproduction. No way an ugly, smelly wastrel gets to be the boyfriend of a pulchritudinous goddess.
Sometimes I find myself wondering if the guy killed himself. Surely, he had to know after enjoying paradise he had nowhere to go but down.
My students laugh and think I’m being glib when I say this, but I’m dead serious. Aren’t we all instilled in our DNA with the dream to improve our lot but when that dream is over, when we know we got lucky and cheated the system and that we’ll never taste paradise again, where’s our motive to get out of bed in the morning?
I can only imagine this narcissist wallowing in self-pity now that his taste of Paradise is gone forever. Similar displays of narcissistic self-pity are evident in Tobias Wolff's masterful short story collection The Night in Question in which the characters render us a most penetrating definition of narcissism. We see that narcissism is an acute mental affliction distinguished by _____________________, ______________________, _______________, ___________________, and ______________________________.
Seven. In-class exercise: Write down the name (use a fake name if you want but make-up a name that captures the personality of your subject) of a narcissist you know and make a list of 5 things that evidence his or her narcissism.
One. The Foundation of any Writing Class: Thesis
Qualities of Successful Thesis:
1. One sentence that establishes a demonstrable argument or purpose.
2. Demonstrable means two things: writer has authentic emotional connection to material so he or she doesn’t run out of gas at the midway point. Secondly, it means writer can support the thesis with mapping statements.
Sample: The popularity of SUVs reveals an evil streak in American consumers. First, SUV makers market their vehicles toward people who wish to dominate and bully on the road; second, SUV drivers feel entitled to cheap gas to quench their driving habits, at the expense of American dependency on oil from hostile countries; third, SUV drivers often recklessly multi-task as they live inside their little cockpit fantasy. Lipstick, DVD, Carl’s Jr. gluttony, cell phone, etc. SUV drivers don’t care that their vehicles decapitate car drivers.
3. A good thesis defies the obvious, the self-evident or The So-What Factor:
Samples:
Tom Cruise and Terrell Owens are jerks.
Couples will improve their intimacy if they invest more time in communicating with one another.
Narcisissm is a bad way to live your life because you're so selfish all the time.
If you become a narcissist, no one will like you anymore.
What is a good thesis?
A good thesis often answers a compelling question.
Why does no one care about Barry Bonds, even as he closes in on Hank Aaron’s record?
In the wake of Hurricane Katrina, how did the US government leave so many people to die in a country that is the richest and freest in the world?
Why do women continue to outnumber men in college enrollment? Patience, fortitude, humility, pride, long-term vision. What is it?
Sample Thesis Statements
Taking your date to a restaurant on Valentine’s Day is an exercise in foolishness and futility because _______________________, ____________________________, _____________________________, and ________________________________.
The popularity of American Idol is rooted in our unquenchable appetite for seeing others mocked and humiliated. This appetite stems from our ____________________________, _________________________, _______________________, and ____________________________.
There is a certain type of SUV driver who embodies the most malignant characteristics of American narcissism. These characteristics include ___________________________, __________________________, _____________________________, and ______________________________.
Contrasting thesis: The SUV driver and the Mini Cooper Driver give us a picture of two very different types of Americans, the low-brow troglodyte vs. the high-brow hipster. The trog can be distinguished by his penchant for ________________________, ______________________, and _______________________ while the hipster’s calling card is his _________________________, ____________________________, and _______________________________.
Writing Assignment
Write a 6-page research paper in which you develop a thesis about the mental disease narcissism by writing an extended definition of the term. Use no fewer than 3 stories from the book.
Part One. Review the Narcissistic Traits of Brian Gold (from “The Chain” by Tobias Wolff)
Brian Gold is too focused on himself to the point that his intense self-focus results in isolating himself from others. He feels separate from others, which reinforces his self-focus, a vicious cycle.
Brian Gold chews on the gristle fat wad of self-pity, an indulgence that massages his narcissistic pleasure centers and elevates his status as an innocent victim, perhaps even a martyr. As a victim, he believes the world “owes him” to make-up for his unjust suffering.
As a cipher with no depth or core to his personality, he is like a reed in the wind, susceptible to the influences of outside forces and he compulsively conforms to whatever demands he believes will help bolster his image. For example, when Tom calls Brian’s masculinity into question, Brian is so insecure he will resort to a drastic measure to give credibility to his manliness.
Brian Gold is so narcissistic that he makes everything about himself. He can’t even look in his daughter’s eyes without being reminded of himself as a failure.
Brian Gold embodies self-pity, which we said in class is having the genius to always find a way to hate your life. There is a disparity between one's life circumstances, which could be very good, and one's bad attitude.
Part Two. Miller’s Narcissism Is Rooted in the Incorrigible Wish to Remain a Child Dependent on His Mother
When you’re a child, your mother loves you unconditionally and takes care of all your needs. However, there comes a time when you must grow up and break the tie from your mother. You must venture into a world that doesn’t love you unconditionally, a world that will not meet your needs. This is called adulthood. The narcissist refuses to grow up. He never achieves what Erich Fromm calls "individuation."
The narcissist, such as Miller, cannot have healthy relationships. He can only have sick symbiotic relationships, a diseased mutual interdependence that results in more and more dependence. The result is that both parties in this symbiotic relationship become emotionally crippled.
The narcissist is selfish and does not want his “host” or “hostess” to break free from the symbiotic relationship and achieve emotional health. For example, when Miller’s mother wants to start a life with a healthy distance between her and her son and remarry, Miller feels jealous and betrayed. He’d rather be his mother’s “little boy” forever and ever as the symbiotic relationship turns into emotional gangrene and eventually spiritual death.
Part Three. A Review of Your Essay Structure
In your first page, you will profile a narcissist you know, featuring this person with concrete details and a revealing anecdote that reveals the most malignant narcissistic impulses of your subject.
Then you will have a transition such as “Likewise” or “Similarly . . .”
Similarly, in Tobias Wolff’s The Night in Question, the characters are prisoners of their own narcissism, doomed to the private hell of their intractable self-centeredness. Wolff’s emotionally crippled characters show us the most salient elements of narcissism, which include ________________________, _________________________, ____________________________, ____________________________, and _____________________________________.
Sample A Introduction, Transition, and Thesis with Mapping Components
If I Have to Show Everyone How Good I Am, How Good Am I?
This morning I was jogging in ankle-high sand at Redondo Beach when I saw daggers and shards of broken glass, the remnants of a broken bottle of Jarritos pineapple soda, sticking out of the sand.
Part of me didn’t want to lose my momentum of my one-hour run while another part of me didn’t want anyone stepping on these glass daggers. In the distance I saw a lifeguard setting up his umbrella and I ran fifty yards and told him what I had seen. Then rather than let him clean the glass, I returned to broken bottle, gingerly picked up the daggers and shards, luckily stuck together by the sticky Jarritos label, and deposited them in a nearby trashcan.
The lifeguard followed me with a shovel and dustpan to finish the job while thanking me effusively. It was like I needed the lifeguard to know I was doing a good deed to be motivated to do it. After we exchanged niceties, I continued with my run.
Suddenly, I was Superman, running past people and feeling like I had saved them from grave havoc and destruction. About a mile away from the broken Jarritos bottle, I saw a father watching his two daughters playing by the shore and I had this impulse to stop, explain my good deed and warn him of more possible mayhem. He would be so impressed with my rare virtue and nobility that he would say, “You are my hero and you have saved me and my daughters from a trip to the emergency room. I need to make you my Best Friend Forever, and, if you would agree to it, to be my children’s godparent. Also, I'll need to photograph you so that I can erect a shrine in my livingroom in your honor.”
Before I opened my mouth and made an ass of myself, I had second thoughts, which made me skeptical of my grandiosity.
Jerry Seinfeld talks about this ability some of us have to detach ourselves from what we are doing and to analyze our actions impassively, as if from a great distance. Seinfeld calls this quality The Third Eye. Psychologists use a different term for The Third Eye. They call this same feature metacognition.
Whatever it’s called, The Third Eye or metacognition, I was fortunate that mine kicked in and rather than boast to the father about my heroic virtue, a voice in my head said, “That broken bottle was over a mile away, you moron. Shut your mouth and keep running. You’re no hero. You’re a self-righteous do-gooder needy for the approval of others.”
Thank you, Third Eye, for putting me in my place.
But what about those poor souls who lack the Third Eye? What becomes of them? Alas, it appears their fate is not a pretty one. It appears that such souls, as Tobias Wolff’s collection The Night in Question shows, are doomed to languish in the stagnation of a narcissistic existence. Narcissism, the inability to stand back and dispassionately judge oneself, results in several unresolved conflicts, which include __________________, ___________________, ___________________, _____________________, and _______________________________.
Another Introduction Example in Which You Write About the Narcissistic Impulse to See the World As a Place That Conforms to Your Unrealistic Desires and Expectations
When I was seven living in San Jose, California, my father took me to the grand opening of a Taco Bell (fake Mexican food that I instantly loved) and I noticed the teenagers working behind the counter had unsightly spots on their faces. I asked my father what those ugly things on the teenagers’ faces were.
He answered, “Those are pimples, son.”
“Why do they have them?” I asked.
“According to Aristotle,” my father answered, “God gives teenagers pimples to teach them humility.”
It was apparent from my father’s answer that teenagers had a youthful arrogance about them that had to be kept in check by a God eager to afflict the arrogant with cosmetic imperfections.
I didn’t think about what my father said until seven years later. I was a high school freshman and I noticed that a lot of gangly, nerdy girls from junior high had blossomed over the summer and debuted high school looking like beauty queens. The summer had rendered them goddesses.
But sadly for me, over the summer I became ugly as I was cursed with acne. Not just ordinary acne either. Typically, pimples show up in random places all over the face. But not me. My pimples had a scary pattern that suggested the work of a vengeful God. My pimples created this perfect outline of a Fu Manchu mustache, which of course didn’t go unnoticed by my classmates. Many of them were fond of calling me Fu Manchu as my ugly face became a source of undying pleasure for them.
Pitying me, my grandfather paid me to go to a dermatologist. Antibiotics quickly cleared up my acne and the curse of the Fu Manchu had vanished.
It was then that I realized pimples are not a God issue. They are a medicine issue. Without science, we are too often inclined to use God to explain a world where petulant teenagers are put in their place by an admonishing deity. In other words, my father was projecting his own narcissistic desire to humble the arrogant by imagining a God who would do his bidding.
This narcissistic impulse, to see the world as a place that conforms to our desires, wreaks havoc and self-destruction in the characters who inhabit Tobias Wolff's short story collection The Night in Question. In addition to their delusion that the world will conform to their narcissistic ways, these characters are saddled with the classic narcissistic qualities, which include _______________, _____________, ______________, _____________, and ________________.
In-Class Activity
Write about a time your Third Eye saved you from behaving like a narcissist and transition your account to a thesis about the narcissists in Tobias Wolff's short story collection.
Or if you don't have such a story to tell, write about someone who is deluded into thinking that the world conforms to his or her unrealistic desires and unrealistic expectations.
He confuses obnoxiousness with charm. This is classic narcissistic behavior: There is a huge gap between inflated phony, self-esteem and the real self. Upon further analysis, we can say that the narcissist like Wiley uses grandiosity to hide his self-loathing. Thus the narcissist tends to fluctuate between self-aggrandizement and self-hatred. 38
Wiley believes people like him (because he's so smart and charming) and will stand up for him. He has allies, a team of supporters, or so he believes. In reality, he stands on his own. In fact, he lives in a prison of self and living in this prison creates anxiety and when we're anxious about being alone we create a fantasy world in which we're grand, popular, and loved; otherwise, life would be unbearable. The truth hurts too much. 39
He believes other people injure, unjustly, his dignity when in fact it is he who injures his own dignity. As with most of us, he is his greatest enemy. Most of us sabotage our plans. We have some demon inside us that stops us from being happy. Identifying this demon and learning how to live with it and therefore minimize its impact is one of the greatest accomplishments we can ever do. I doubt we can ever kill the demon. We can only keep it in check. This is why people seek religion, philosophy, and therapy: To find ways to stave off the Anti-Self. 40
He believes if Kathleen “knows the truth” about him, she’ll like him when in fact the contrary is true. The truth about Wiley is that he is an emotionally stunted adolescent, a narcissist, a prisoner of his own self, a fantasist, a lonely sad sack who feeds off his ludicrous dreams, lies, and fantasies. 40
He believes he’s disciplined when he is a lazy BEE-ESSER. Rather than have a lesson plan for his students, for example, he likes to tell stories in which he is the hero. 41
He believes he has “bad luck” with women. In truth, "bad luck" is a fantasy. Most bad things happen because of our character: Lazy, pathological liars usually don't have "good luck." 41
Wiley believes he’s rational in an irrational world that unjustly persecutes him when in fact the reverse is true. He is, in other words, a genius surrounded by a confederacy of dunces, as he sees it. Therefore, he is the lonely genius, a victim of a world that cannot appreciate him. 42
Wiley believes telling lies can improve his image. 44, 45
He believes his book smarts gives him a wisdom and moral standing that makes him superior to others. But book smarts, without a blossoming soul, is worthless.
He believes the end justifies the means. If telling lies furthers a "truth," then lies are justifable. 53
He believes that his blind persistence is a virtue. 55
He believes his own BS is his ticket to paradise when in fact it is his key to hell. People who believe in their own BS fail to listen to others; as a result these people are slaves to solipsism, a life trapped inside their own mind. 56
Part Two. Wiley Suffers From Solipsism
My mind is the only reality or I am the only reality
Self-centeredness to the point of insanity
Complete absence of empathy
Complete inability to imagine how others perceive you.
Form of emotional retardation
Part Three. Faustian Bargain: Wiley suppresses his real self and becomes addicted to his own Inner BE-ESSER. In addition to being a pathological liar, he is addicted to his own BS.
The story is about the dangers of being a B.S. Artist or a BE-ESSER
BE-ESSERS are often too intoxicated by their own BS and fail to see that others are not as impressed with it as they are. In other words, they suffer from an inflated self-esteem that has no correspondence to reality, what we call a narcissist. Wiley ends up getting his butt kicked because he is too clueless that he has created an escalated hostile situation.
BE-ESSERS often feel that they’re “superior BS” ability gives them license to do anything so that they have no boundaries.
BE-ESSERS can’t stop BSing even when the situation demands it.
BE-ESSERS tend to dig themselves into a deeper and deeper hole as they continue BSing.
BE-ESSERS are more concerned with image than substance. They cannot tolerate people having the “wrong impression” of them. That’s why Wiley goes out of his way to prove to Kathleen that he is a good person, which backfires.
BE-ESSERS create a fictional persona that is so addicting they don’t know how to be real anymore and live the rest of their lives as compulsive liars.
BE-ESSERS can’t achieve intimacy because their whole life is a performance act.
BE-ESSERS are good at drumming up feelings of self-righteousness even when they are grossly wrong. In other words, they end up believing their own BS. See page 46 bottom.
BE-ESSERS spend so much time puffing themselves up that they have too much pride to admit when they’re wrong.
BE-ESSERS rationalize their lies by justifying the means with the end. See page 47.
See the book On Bullshit by Harry G. Frankfurt in which he says that bullshit is worse than lying, that bullshit is defined by pretentiousness, misrepresentation and all the insidious things we use to puff ourselves up such as false modesty, sycophantism, omission of certain facts, slight exaggeration, etc. Write these characteristics on the board.
Sample A Introduction, Transition, and Thesis
Show how a narcissist must be punished to be awakened from his narcissistic ways. Then transition this narcissist's punishment to Wiley's, followed by your thesis.
Recently, my gardner Francisco told me that one of his customers, John, espied his neighbor walking his dog to dump crap on his lawn. For six months this victim of having his front lawn being used as a dog dumping ground saved the dog crap in a huge plastic garden bag. When the bag was stuffed, John walked to the culprit's front lawn and dumped 3 months' of accrued crap on the lawn.
Since then, the guilty party does not even walk his dog in front of his neighbor's house. Not only does he live in fear of his neighbor, he suffers the ignominy of knowing his disgusting, insidious violation of neighborly etiquette has been exposed.
After Francisco shared this story with me, I felt bathed in warmth. My wife noticed a glow in my demeanor and said I looked "different," before asking me why I was so happy.
"Because," I answered, "a filthy narcissist has been put in his place and perhaps now he'll think again before leaving dog crap on someone's lawn."
Another man who leaves his crap everywhere he goes is that pathetic narcissist Wiley from Tobias Wolff's masterful short story collection The Night in Question. Wiley and other characters from the story collection are quintessential narcissists evidenced by _____________________, _____________________, ______________________, _______________, and __________________________.
Inflated self-esteem altnernated with self-loathing
Pathological Lying
BS-ing
Solipsism
Self-pity
Spite
Class Activity
Write about a narcisssit who "spreads his crap" around, metaphorically speaking, and transition this example to Wiley.
Who said revenge--even the mere story of revenge and its vicarious effects--is not a holy gift from the gods? Francisco's story is indeed delicious, a morsel sweeter than any pumpkin pie I will eat tomorrow.
Looking at the Link Between Self-Pity and Narcissism
Self-pity is a claw trap that never lets go of us by making us focus on our past, our sense of victimization, our sense of inflated self, and by making us lose our sense of proportion so that we go crazy or to use a more objective term lose the right perspective. Also it should be emphasized that because self-pity tends to be chronic (after all, to keep with our metaphor, it's a claw trap that doesn't let go) the mental disease becomes infected and gangrenous, the adjective form of the noun gangrene. These words apply to physical decay and rot but in the psychological sense with the effects of self-pity, we are of course talking about the rot and decay of the mind and soul.
Self-Pity Is Self-Inflicted
Perhaps the most compelling characteristic of self-pity is that we become blind to the fact that however real our grievances, our real injury is self-inflicted, an act of self-betrayal, but we are too narcissistic to take accountability for this fact. We'd rather continue to blame phantom enemies than confront the role of our own self in the process of our demise and moral dissolution.
Once we get inside self-pity's jaws, it's usually a slow death that awaits us. Many of the stories in Tobias Wolff's collection illustrate this principle, including "The Other Miller," "Mortals," and "The Chain."
Self-pity makes us focus on our past
Specifically self-pity is directed at past grievances and a sense of injustice that makes us feel like helpless victims. We don't understand that our only hope is focusing on a future full of meaning.
Self-pity makes us lose proportion
Our obsession blinds us from reasonable solutions to our problem.
Self-pity is rooted in inflated entitlement and expectations
No matter what needs our met, we keep raising the bar so that we are always disappointed and bitter.
What Are Some of the Cures for Self-Pity? (Easier Said Than Done)
Helping others; do the right thing and the feelings come later.
Find a hobby or passion that takes focus off self.
Find a purpose that connects you to an ideal and the world, rather than focusing on self.
Review Definition of Narcissism and Thesis
Wiley, Brian Gold, Givens, and Miller all suffer from narcissism evidenced by ________________, ___________________, ____________________, ___________________, and __________________.
Self-pity
The insatiable hunger for admiration
Pathological lying; telling stories, narratives, fictions (knowing that others love stories more than the truth because stories are more juicy, more dramatic) that become "real" and then this begins insanity
Solipsism(related to projection)
Projection, you never understand others because you project your thoughts on everyone else
Writing an Introduction and Thesis for an Essay About the Link Between Self-Pity and the characters in Tobias Wolff's Short Stories
Introduction would require a personal example: Let's take the example of a wealthy doctor whose wife left him for another doctor. . .
My thesis would go like this: It would take entire book to cover the role of narcissism in Tobias Wolff's short story collection The Night in Question, so I will narrow my focus on one of narcissism's most potent, malignant characteristics: self-pity. As we study the demise of Brian Gold, Miller, and Givens, we will see that self-pity is a bear claw trap that kills us in many unforgiving ways, which include self-pity's power to draw obsessive focus on our past, to redefine our identity as a helpless victim, to marinate in debilitating bitterness, and to wallow in self-regard to the point of losing all proportion.
Evaluate Following Student Thesis Statements That Pertain to Narcissism Essay Assignment
Narcissism is one of the great plagues of the human race.
Narcissism should be a crime punishable by law.
The narcissists in Tobias Wolff's short story collection are selfish, immature, and full of self-pity.
The narcissists in TW's collection are selfish, immature, and self-pitying.
We're all narcissists to some degree; therefore, writing about narcissism, or trying to identify it, is an act of futility and a waste of time.
In class our teacher McMahon said a Stage 10 Narcissist is someone without self-awareness and therefore the worst type of narcissist of all. Our fearless teacher McMahon is in serious error, for in fact a close examination will reveal that it is the very self-aware calculated narcissist, the Great Manipulator, who is the worst narcissist of all. This becomes evident when we see that the Manipulating Narcissist is a sociopath, an exploiter, and a cunning, unmerciful foe and trickster to all his victims.
Wiley and Gold are pathetic characters whose self-pity parallels each other in several ways. These ways include ___________, _______________, ______________, and __________________.
Wiley and Gold have similar narcissistic traits. These traits include . . .
Wiley and Gold are ruined creatures mired in a similar, noxious brand of narcissism which includes . . .
Self-pity, emotional retardation, low self-esteem, and obsessive vindication comprise the narcissistic glue that sticks Wiley and Gold together.
Theme for "Bullet in the Brain": The story’s theme is the danger of a particular type of narcissism: intellectual pride.
Anders is book smart but not savvy. His intellectual pride blinds him from being street smart (you have skills in dealing with humans and real life conflicts in an improvisational manner.
Two. Signs That Anders Is Not Street Smart
He doesn’t know how to make allies among his enemies. 200
His sarcasm doesn’t hit the right note because it’s too strident. 200, 201
He can’t turn off his supercilious sarcasm when the situation warrants it. 201
He doesn’t know when to talk and when to shut up. 202
He has allowed his critic persona to take over his entire personality and this has given him delusions of omnipotence resulting in his death. 203
His flashbacks punctuated by “he didn’t remember” all the meaningful moments of his life show a man who grew increasingly lonely.
Study Questions and Sample Thesis Statements for “Mortals” by Tobias Wolff
What psychological profile of the narrator can we glean from the story’s first 3 pages? He is a sad sack, infected with the wound of self-pity. The symptoms of self-pity are intertia and learned helplessness. See page 5.
What “sin” is the narrator guilty of? He has given up his freedom and free will in favor of the ego massage that results from self-pity.
What is the connection between the narrator’s boss discovering his employee’s negligence and the narrator’s discovery that his father had died on page 6? Death is like “getting caught”; it creates a nervous laughter, a coping mechanism to treat our vulnerabilities and shortcomings as a joke.
How does the story divide the world into two groups on page 8? Those with a consciousness of death and those who don’t have such a consciousness.
What is the story’s major theme? See page 8. We cannot judge our lives fully without seeing our lives in the context of death. Remember Viktor Frankl's Death Bed Test.
What does the story say about having a healthy relationship with our own mortality? We must not live in denial of death. Rather, death should help us focus on what is meaningful and important and discard the rest. Self-pity is a way of killing time when we deny death.
What evidence is there that the narrator is disaffected and disconnected from the human race? He disregards humanity, a way of deflecting his self-contempt. See page 9.
At the top of page 10, the narrator says to Givens: “Somebody’s imagining you dead. Thinking about it. The wish is father to the deed.” Givens has a death wish, but in that wish is the implicit desire to be reborn. How are these words true?
Clearly, the narrator suspects Givens to be the culprit of the fraud. But his contempt for Givens goes further. Explain. He sees himself in Givens perhaps.
Find 3 similarities between the narrator and Givens. See page 10 and 11. Vain, overcome by self-pity, overcome by a sense of personal failure.
What does the dialogue at the bottom of page 10 and the top of page 11 say about American notions of success and failure? Either/Or fallacy. Think of Iceland where failure is not that big a deal.
Givens’ act of affirming his “loyalty” reveals what about him? Self-doubt.
On page 12, the narrator says he admires Givens for having experienced a “resurrection.” Is this true? What is the story saying about the manner in which we “resurrect” ourselves? We impose narratives, real or otherwise, that give our lives a narrative arc, a shape, a structure, a meaning, that defies the chaos, emptiness, and failure that afflicts us. We all wish to write our own flattering obituary in other words. Our capacity for self-delusion is infinite.
Is Givens’ confession the truth or simply uttered out of coercion?
Sample Thesis Statements That Suffer from Being Too Obvious or General:
“Mortals” is a story about death.
“Mortals” explores a man’s obsession with death.
Improved Thesis Statements:
“Mortals” is not a story about death or mortality; rather, it is a story about two failed lives, the narrator’s and Givens’, who, despising each other for their similarities, are both mired in narcissistic self-pity and vain self-delusion alternated by grandiose bouts of self-pity.
The “resurrection” mentioned in the story is no resurrection at all; rather, it speaks to Givens’ desire to write his own obituary, for doing so enables him to fulfill the ultimate narcissistic fantasy: to gloss over his shortcomings, to exaggerate his strengths, and to impose an artificial narrative shape to his shapeless, meaningless existence.
Givens’ alleged “resurrection” is no resurrection at all. Rather, it is a chimera that enables him to gloss over his shortcomings, to exaggerate his strengths, and to impose an artificial narrative shape to his shapeless, meaningless existence.
The narrator is convinced that Givens called in his own obituary but in fact we have no definitive proof that Givens committed such a fraud. What is evident, however, is that the narrator is projecting his own failures onto Givens. These failures include a man who knows in his gut that he is squandering his existence on laziness, self-pity, and vain self-delusion and rather than face his shortcomings he would rather divert his energy to hating Givens.
Narcissists are either "Cerebral" (derive their narcissistic supply from their intelligence or academic achievements) - or "Somatic" (derive their narcissistic supply from their physique, exercise, physical or sexual prowess and romantic or physical "conquests").
Narcissists are "Classic", "Compensatory", or "Inverted". The classic narcissist is self-confident, the compensatory narcissist covers up in his haughty behavior for a deep-seated deficit in self-esteem, and the inverted type is a co-dependent who caters to the emotional needs of a classic narcissist.
Other typologies have been suggested (for instance, the phallic vs. non-phallic narcissist).
Prevalence and Age and Gender Features
According to the DSM IV-TR, between 2% and 16% of the population in clinical settings (between 0.5-1% of the general population) are diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
A slight majority of narcissists (50-75%, according to the DSM-IV-TR) are men. Narcissistic traits are common among adolescents, but few go on to develop the full-fledge disorder. The disorder becomes more acute as the narcissist grows older and is exacerbated by the onset of aging and the physical, mental, and occupational restrictions.
Robert Milman suggested that under constant public scrutiny and exposure, a transient and reactive form of the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) can develop. He labelled it "Acquired Situational Narcissism".
Studies have not demonstrated any ethnic, social, cultural, economic, genetic, or professional predilection to NPD.
Characteristics and Traits
A person diagnosed with the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) feels grandiose and self-important. He tends to exaggerates his accomplishments, talents, skills, contacts, and personality traits to the point of lying.
He also demands to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements.
Narcissists are obsessed with fantasies of unlimited success, fame, fearsome power or omnipotence, unequalled brilliance (the cerebral narcissist), bodily beauty or sexual performance (the somatic narcissist), or ideal, everlasting, all-conquering love or passion.
They are firmly convinced that he or she is unique and, being special, can only be understood by, should only be treated by, or associate with, other special or unique, or high-status people (or institutions).
The narcissist requires excessive admiration, adulation, attention and affirmation - or, failing that, wishes to be feared and to be notorious. Such feedback is known as narcissistic supply and the narcissist uses it to regulate his labile sense of self-worth.
The narcissist feels entitled. He demands automatic and full compliance with his unreasonable expectations for special and favorable priority treatment. A a result, he is often "interpersonally exploitative", i.e., uses others to achieve his or her own ends;
Narcissists lack empathy. They are unable or unwilling to identify with, acknowledge, or accept the feelings, needs, preferences, priorities, and choices of others.
They are constantly envious of others and seek to hurt or destroy the objects of their resulting frustration. They suffer from persecutory (paranoid) delusions because they believe that others feel the same about them - seething with envy and resentment - and are likely to act on these negative sentiments.
The narcissist is arrogant and haughty. He feels superior, omnipotent, omniscient, invincible, immune, "above the law", and omnipresent (magical thinking). Rages when frustrated, contradicted, or confronted by people he considers inferior to him and unworthy.
Clinical Features of the Narcissistic Personality Disorder
The onset of pathological narcissism is in infancy, childhood and early adolescence. It is commonly attributed to childhood abuse and trauma inflicted by parents, authority figures, or even peers. There are indications that heredity may be involved as well.
Pathological narcissism is a defense mechanism intended to deflect hurt and trauma from the victim's "True Self" into a "False Self" which is omnipotent, invulnerable, and omniscient. The narcissist uses the False Self to regulate his or her labile sense of self-worth by extracting from his environment narcissistic supply (any form of attention, both positive and negative).
Narcissistic supply is outside attention - usually positive (adulation, affirmation, fame, celebrity) - used by the narcissist to regulate his labile sense of self-worth.
There is a whole range of narcissistic reactions, styles, and personalities – from the mild, reactive and transient to the permanent personality disorder.
Patients with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) feel injured, humiliated and empty when criticized. They often react with disdain (devaluation), rage, and defiance to any slight, real or imagined. To avoid such situations, some patients with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) socially withdraw and feign false modesty and humility to mask their underlying grandiosity. Dysthymic and depressive disorders are common reactions to isolation and feelings of shame and inadequacy.
The interpersonal relationships of patients with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are typically impaired due to their lack of empathy, disregard for others, exploitativeness, sense of entitlement, and constant need for attention (narcissistic supply).
Though often ambitious and capable, inability to tolerate setbacks, disagreement, and criticism make it difficult for patients with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) to work in a team or to maintain long-term professional achievements. The narcissist's fantastic grandiosity, frequently coupled with a hypomanic mood, is typically incommensurate with his or her real accomplishments (the "grandiosity gap").
Patients with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are either "cerebral" (derive their Narcissistic Supply from their intelligence or academic achievements) or "somatic" (derive their Narcissistic Supply from their physique, exercise, physical or sexual prowess and romantic or physical "conquests").
Patients with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are either "classic" (meet five of the nine diagnostic criteria included in the DSM), or they are "compensatory" (their narcissism compensates for deep-set feelings of inferiority and lack of self-worth).
Some narcissists are covert, or inverted narcissists. As codependents, they derive their narcissistic supply from their relationships with classic narcissists.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is often diagnosed with other mental health disorders ("co-morbidity"), such as mood disorders, eating disorders, and substance-related disorders. Patients with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are frequently abusive and prone to impulsive and reckless behaviours ("dual diagnosis").
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is commonly diagnosed with other personality disorders, such as the Histrionic, Borderline, Paranoid, and Antisocial Personality Disorders.
The personal style of those suffering from the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) should be distinguished from the personal styles of patients with other Cluster B Personality Disorders. The narcissist is grandiose, the histrionic coquettish, the antisocial (psychopath) callous, and the borderline needy.
As opposed to patients with the Borderline Personality Disorder, the self-image of the narcissist is stable, he or she are less impulsive and less self-defeating or self-destructive and less concerned with abandonment issues (not as clinging).
Contrary to the histrionic patient, the narcissist is achievements-orientated and proud of his or her possessions and accomplishments. Narcissists also rarely display their emotions as histrionics do and they hold the sensitivities and needs of others in contempt.
According to the DSM-IV-TR, both narcissists and psychopaths are "tough-minded, glib, superficial, exploitative, and unempathic". But narcissists are less impulsive, less aggressive, and less deceitful. Psychopaths rarely seek narcissistic supply. As opposed to psychopaths, few narcissists are criminals.
Patients suffering from the range of obsessive-compulsive disorders are committed to perfection and believe that only they are capable of attaining it. But, as opposed to narcissists, they are self-critical and far more aware of their own deficiencies, flaws, and shortcomings.
The Night in Question by Tobias Wolff: The Fallacies of the Narcissistic Mind
Write 1,000-word essay in which you develop an extended definition of the term narcissism using at least 3 stories. You must have a Works Cited page with no fewer than 2 sources, the stories, my blog, and a source of your choice. about how Wolff’s stories give us a penetrating look at narcissism. Use no fewer than 3 stories from the book.