Sample Introduction and Thesis
When a man who has just driven his Porsche enters a room, everyone looks at him because the chemistry of the room has just changed. This is because a man who owns a Porsche is a changed man in every conceivable way. His mind and body have altered on a hormonal and cellular level. Therefore, when such a man enters a room, the chemistry in the room is radically different. This is what we mean when we talk about the confidence of money. We must acknowledge that having lots of money changes us from a biological standpoint. People can smell the rich person’s power without even knowing the person is rich. Instinctively, we all know this and because a part of us wants us to be worshipped for our power, we crave lots of money. The danger, though, is that the change that has happened to us on a cellular level is subject to being eradicated. In the event that the man in the Porsche loses his fortune and must get rid of his prized sports car, he finds his biology changes: His hormones deflate to clinical depression levels and he becomes a shell of his former self without any core character to withstand the blow of his poverty. He is even more miserable than he was before he gained his fortune. The emptiness and shame he faces is so extreme that he loses his will to live and can only long with bitter regret for that former self that enjoyed being fawned over because he had accrued such opulent things, which like that former self, have now vanished. Happiness eludes such a man because his misguided attempt for happiness was based on the worship of power, not morality. Such an unhappy state of affairs informs the misery of the people of Qatar and Moldova as chronicled in Eric Weiner’s The Geography of Bliss, which shows there is an inextricable link between morality and happiness evidenced by _______________, _____________, ________________, and ____________________.
Argumentative Thesis Statement
Topic
The link between morality and happiness is the focus of our writing assignment.
It is imperative, we learn through The Geography of Bliss, that we embrace strong moral cultural norms to facilitate happiness evidenced by _______________, _______________, ________________, and ___________________.
As The Geography of Bliss teaches us, however implicitly, it is imperative that we embrace strong moral cultural norms to create happiness evidenced by _________________, __________________, ________________, and ____________________.
McMahon’s dogma that there is a link between happiness and morality collapses under the weight of logical fallacies, flimsy evidence, and inaccurate, twisted interpretations of Weiner’s book.
Since I do not believe in morality, I reject McMahon’s notion that there is an essential link between morality and happiness. In fact, the very notion of morality or its lack thereof in Weiner’s book is a sham evidenced by _____________, ___________, ___________, and ________________.
Immorality is not the happiness killer in The Geography of Bliss, as McMahon would have us believe. Rather, the happiness killers in Weiner’s book consist of _______________, _________________, ____________, and ___________________.
Morality is not the Mother of happiness, as McMahon is so earnest to argue. Rather, a close study of Weiner’s book reveals that morality is irrelevant in the creation of happiness. The kind of bliss McMahon wishes we would all possess is not caused by morality but by ________________, ______________, ______________, and __________________.
The kind of conventional morality McMahon encourages us to embrace is not for an intellectual like myself. Conventional morality is for the herd, the masses, the peasants, and the sheep. I am no sheep. I am an artist and a philosopher. Following McMahon’s moralistic prescription for happiness will only cause me misery because my conforming to society’s conventional notions of morality will strip me of my individuality, force me to cohort with the bovine masses, pressure me to aspire to mediocrity, and push me into a life of convention that will destroy my spirit and soul.
How to Set Up a Counterargument in Your Rebuttal Section (The Templates)
Some of my critics will dismiss my claim that . . . but they are in error when we look closely at . . .
Some readers will 0bject to my argument that . . . However, their disagreement is misguided when we consider that . . .
Some opponents will be hostile to my claim that . . . However, their hostility is unfounded when we examine . . .
While Author X is guilty of several weaknesses as described by her opponents, her agument holds up to close examination in the areas of _________________, ______________, _____________, and ______________.
Even though author X shows weakness in her argument, such as __________ and ____________, she is nevertheless convincing because . . .
While author X makes many compelling points, her overall argument collapses under the weight of __________, ___________, ___________, and ______________.
Common objections to the claim that there is a link between happiness and morality
The empirical evidence shows that money, not morality, is the key to happiness.
Morality is too often a euphemism for herd conformity, which results in brain-dead Groupthink and self-erasure.
Related to conformity, we see that cultures that are homogeneous enjoy happiness, not because of their morality, but because of their sameness.
McMahon is fond of using the term morality when he should be using the true source of happiness: common sense. "You don't need morals. Common sense tells you to behave in a decent manner toward others whether you're moral or not."
Thesis Review
Developing Your Thesis
A thesis statement is one sentence that articulates the central idea of your essay.
A thesis statement is one sentence that tells readers your position or argument.
A thesis statement often outlines your essay’s body paragraphs with mapping components.
A thesis statement is born out of your assigned topic.
A thesis statement can never be merely a statement of your topic. Rather, it must be the point you are making about your topic.
This is a link to a thesis statement checklist.
Too Rich to be Happy in Qatar
1. Weiner’s big question upon visiting Qatar, the richest per capita country in the world: What happens to your soul when you indulge in excess, craven luxury? You hit the hedonic treadmill; your pleasure sensors acclimate to stimulation so you need greater and greater stimulation until you short-circuit. See page 100. You might see the film A Simple Plan.
2. Can all their wealth lead to the good life and happiness and Weiner, relying Betrand Russell, defines it on page 110 as connecting with something larger than yourself? The answer is no because self-indulgence disconnects you from the outside. Self-indulgence results in solipsism, which is the opposite of connected happiness. Self-indulgence kills empathy, which kills connection to human race.
3. Qataris are the nouveau riche and as such they possess arrogance and insecurity. When we become suddenly rich, we become a parvenu, a person who is insecure with his new role. He never feels he measures up, so he over-compensates. See page 102.
4. Wealth makes us unhappy because we instinctively use wealth to isolate and insulate ourselves from the outside world whom we see as vultures eager to steal our treasures. Happiness is fear and loathing of the human race; it is connection with others. Wealthy people tend to be unconnected. See page 114. I’m reminded of Citizen Kane.
5. Qataris have no taxation or representation so they feel disconnected from their own society. See pages 118 and 119.
6. Weiner equates Qataris’ sudden wealth to winning the lottery. Winning the lottery historically is connected with unhappiness and ruin. See pages 122-125: We adapt to pleasure so that we have to spike the pleasure and then we have adapt to pleasure so that we have to spike the pleasure again. It’s like a cycle of addiction with nihilism, emptiness, and ruin being our final destination. I see this with my love of cars. We call this the “hedonic treadmill.”
7. We learn on pages 126 and 127 that there’s a gap between our rational intellect and our brain’s hard-wiring or “software.” Sadly, we’re programmed to chase after chimeras (BMWs, wealth, etc.) that don’t make us happy and we can’t even learn from our disappointment but continue to chase chimeras anyway. We are sadly at war with ourselves. We are at war with our Darwin Gene and our Empathy Gene. We need both but too much of one over the other results in ruin.
8. Some of us are addicted to sadness as it is suggest to Eric Weiner on page 127.
9. Qataris rely on foreign labor so they feel disconnected from their country. They are dependent on cheap foreign labor and are in a way helpless. Rich but helpless. No rules, no laws, no taxes, no work. Just unhappiness. A life with no boundaries always leads to despair and self-destruction. Ironically, a life with no boundaries is many Americans' definition of freedom. This is a perverted definition. Real freedom is based on boundaries. As a 13-year-old kid, I learned the joy of having a clean room, a condition that didn't materialize until my father issued threats toward me. Life became easier and full of well-being.
10. We know nothing. We think we’ll be happy from achievements and wealth (Hindu word is maya, which means illusion) and we feel pained by setbacks (Hindu word is mushkala, which means illusory loss). See page 139.
Part Two. What We Learn from Qatar: Excessive Wealth Makes Even Decent, Well-Intentioned People Become Unhappy
1. When we become wealthy, we understandably become distrustful of others who may feel tempted to take advantage of us, to use us for their gain. As a result, we close our circle and we become more and more disconnected from the world. Think of the film Citizen Kane.
2. This disconnectedness from the world and constant protectiveness makes us feel embattled, which in turn creates a permanent mask of skepticism. Without checks and balances, this skepticism of others’ motives can easily turn to paranoia, an obvious condition of unhappiness.
3. When we’re filthy rich, people no longer relate to us as people. They relate to us as sycophants. Other people’s compulsion to lavish us with praise and be generally obsequious gives us a false sense of grandiosity. We begin to believe we’re as great as people treat us resulting in an obnoxious, undeserved sense of entitlement. When we're surrounded by sycophants, we live in a bubble of our own unchallenged illusions and as a result we will go crazy.
4. When we’re filthy rich, it’s tempting to use our money and power to clean up our messes. We become more reckless in our behavior since we know our money can take care of our errant ways. Think of the recklessness and misery of Bill Murray playing Phil Connors in the classic film Groundhog Day. Or we can take a page from the news and look at Justin Bieber.
5. When we’re filthy rich, we’re compelled by normal human nature to experience “the best” and what we find is that our brains adapt to pleasure and excitement requiring more and more stimulation. The researchers calls this constant adaptation the “hedonic treadmill.” We constantly have to spike our pleasure before we adapt to it and then spike it forever and ever in a an endless cycle with us always losing the pleasure game, resulting in disappointment and frustration. And yes, unhappiness.
6. Like it or not, wealth is a drug both for the wealthy person and others who are intoxicated by the wealthy person’s aura of living on a superior, elevated plane. People who are infatuated by the This mutual wealthy and kiss their butt are called sycophants or toadies. Intoxication between the wealthy person and his or her admirers creates a sick symbiotic relationship based on fantasy, greed, and envy, components for miserable relationships.
7. It is human nature when we are rich to hire others to do everything for us. Over time we become helpless cripples dependent on our “help.” This, alas, is yet another cause of our unhappiness.
8. As human beings, we have a rational brain that knows wealth is dangerous and most often results in unhappiness but we also are hard-wired to pursue wealth no matter what our rational brain tells us. Understanding this conflict in ourselves and seeing our rational intellect being helpless to curb our irrational appetites, again, is another cause of our unhappiness.
Wealth kills empathy as we read in this NYTimes opinion piece.
"How Do We Increase Empathy" cites the same study.
Example
Topic
Standardized testing is part of the No Child Left Behind program.
Argumentative Thesis Statement
Standardized testing is a profit-driven sham that we need to replace with more reliable measures of student learning outcomes.
Standardized testing is a money-grabbing sham that we need to replace with more reliable measures of student learning outcomes because the evidence shows that _______________, ___________________, ________________, and _________________.
Topic
In high numbers, upper class educated Anglos are not vaccinating their children from measles and other diseases.
Cause and Effect Thesis Statement
Many upper class educated Anglos are not vaccinating their children because their pride, paranoia, and pseudo-science have intoxicated them into embracing all the myths de jour of the anti-vaccine movement.
Argumentative Thesis Statement
There should be harsh penalties incurred against parents who don’t vaccinate their children because ________________, ________________, _______________, and _______________________.
Topic
Unlike other first-world countries, the United States spends close to 18 percent of its GDP on healthcare while other countries spend closer to 10 percent.
Unhappiness in Moldova
1. Envy: To resent others for having a better situation than yours. The unhappy cannot bear the sight of the happy. I only suffer from half-envy. I wish I could be like some people, but I don't hate them.
2. The human condition is one of contrast: Hot means nothing without cold. Mozart is enhanced by Barry Manilow. Happy places are more interesting because of unhappy ones. The darkest part of the planet is Moldova. It is the least happy nation on the planet.
3. The body language is sour and bitter and this in turn makes people feel sour and bitter.
4. Natasha says “We have no money for life.” That is her reason, but Weiner doesn’t buy it because he’s visited other countries who in poverty don’t hold that attitude.
5. The male citizens are skinny; the male cops are fat and thuggish, a bad sign.
6. They’ve been beaten down into learned helplessness (see other lectures on this topic) The Moldovans say, “This is Moldova.” Or “What can I do?”
7. Moldovans compare themselves to the richer countries, not the poorer ones. So of course the glass is half empty.
8. The service industry is rude and this is a self-fulfilling prophecy of misery because you're turning off tourists, among other people.
9. There is no trust of anything, including their own people, and this results in nihilism.
10. The people are neither Russian nor Moldovan. They exist in a nether world of no identity or culture. “How can you feel good about yourself if you don’t know who you are?”
11. Their new “freedom” means nothing without jobs. They cannot afford to eat at McDonald’s.
12. Corruption and nepotism are rampant.
13. Men don’t care about their appearance because they’re outnumbered by the woman who wear raccoon makeup.
14. They are consumed by selfishness: “No este problema mea.” They can’t even recognize selfish altruism, which encourages reciprocity.
15. The Moldovans are fueled by schadenfreude; “They derive more pleasure from their neighbor’s failure than their own success.”
16. Scapegoat everything on “Perestroika.” When you scapegoat other source for your problems, your proclaiming your helplessness.
17. Envy accumulates like toxic waste.
18. There is no queuing, a sure sign of nihilism, anomie, and chaos.
19. They trust nothing: doctors under thirty-five, their own friends.
20. The once cheery American Peace Corps workers are becoming gloomy and depressed.
21. No one wants to be in Moldova, including Moldovans.
22. Helping professions score the highest in happiness surveys.
23. The Moldovans have thrown politeness and civility out the window. They say, “Give me that.” No please. In contrast, Japan emphasizes politeness. A common expression: “Gomen nasai.” I’m sorry.
24. Freedom has been reduced to a small number of people who have enough money to consume the growing selection of goods.
25. Moldovans haven’t used the golden rule of positive psychology: hedonic adaptation: No matter how severe our misfortune, we adapt. But this adaptation cannot occur in the absence of culture, living in a shadow of moral rot. They have never learned that social reciprocity results in happiness more than bitter selfishness, a condition they cling to with all their defiant strength. Moldova is a “fabricated nation.” It really does not exist.
26. Weiner concludes with “lessons gleaned from Moldova’s unhappiness”:
27. Lesson One: “Not my problem” is a mental illness, a condition of no empathy.
28. Lesson Two: Poverty is too often used as an excuse for unhappiness. Their reaction to poverty is worse than the poverty.
29. Lesson Three: A culture that belittles the value of trust and friendship and rewards mean-spiritedness and deceit cannot be happy.
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