Sample Theses That Refute and Defend Gustavo Arellano’s Argument
Refutation
Gustavo Arellano is a prestigious, beloved Los Angeles culture writer. Unfortunately, his argument that attempts to ease the collective white conscience to steal Mexican food is a sad, unconvincing affair. His argument is crippled with egregious moral, legal, and logical fallacies. He knows all too well that American history is rife with white people exploiting Mexicans’ hard work and ingenuity. To defend whites because “everyone steals” is a childish remark that fails basic moral teachings, specifically the infantile notion that two wrongs make a right. Second, if Arellano wants us to take him seriously, he must give us a more narrow definition of cultural appropriation. There is no moral equivalence between a Salvadorean husband respectfully learning the finer points of making Jahuacatas from his wife who hails from Michoacan and the white El Torito manager who hires a Mexican worker, steals the worker’s recipes over a period of two months, and then unceremoniously fires the worker. A third most regrettable error on Arellano’s part is how he conveniently ignores the atrocious fact that the majority of white stealing of Mexican food is done in the cynical service of making money by white-washing and in effect destroying delicious food to make it palatable for philistines, tourists, and other types of phony people who fancy deluding themselves into “going out and getting some ethnic food.” The bad scenarios described above are more than just bad; they are abominations of the tastebuds and the soul, and for Arellano to omit these abominations from his argument is a form of intellectual dishonesty for which I cannot forgive.
Defense
I feel bad for the above writer who has morally excoriated Gustavo Arellano for his supposed moral failings. This writer’s spiritual purity and moral self-righteousness have blinded him from the gustatory pleasures that result from Arellano’s “free-stealing” philosophy. By “free-stealing,” I refer to a degree of healthy chaos that exists in the food industry. Recipes are flying from one town to another; variations are infinite based on quirks, available food, cross-cultural pollination, and a synthesis of cooking techniques from the many cultures that inevitably converge in great cosmopolitan cities such as Los Angeles. Moreover, the relevance of Mexican cooking makes it the most popular, fastest-growing cuisine in the world. Contrary to the above passage which attempts to put a big stink on Gustavo Arellano and which would have us believe that Mexican food is pure, sacrosanct, and unchanging, real Mexican food is constantly evolving through ruthless stealing, borrowing, mutations, and respectful homages to its sacred origins. Thank God, Gustavo Arellano acknowledges the vibrancy of Mexican cooking and its complicated, sometimes morally questionable origins, for finally, a food writer has exposed the truth about the wonders of Mexican food. The above writer, on the other hand, gets a medal for moral self-righteousness but loses points for being a boring, propaganda writer for the Cult of Authenticity.
Refutation
Gustavo Arellano is gung-ho about white people stealing from Mexicans for three reasons. One, since Mexicans steal, everyone else should be able to. Two, stealing Mexican food is great for popularizing Mexican food throughout the world. Three, dishing up substandard debased Mexican food is a great “gateway drug” to getting people hooked on real Mexican food. All three of his reasons are so ludicrous and asinine as to strain credulity. For one, that Mexicans interacted with other cultures, some who colonized them, and created amazing food is not morally equivalent to privileged classes of people today stealing Mexican food and exploiting Mexican workers. For two, while it’s true that stealing Mexican recipes popularizes Mexican food, this popularization for at least 99% of the time is a disrespectful corruption of true Mexican cooking. So Mexican food has been watered-down to suit the tastes of tacky tourists. Am I supposed to celebrate that fact? I think not. Finally, Arellano would have us applaud the serving of crappy food as the “gateway drug” to real Mexican food. Arellano’s reasoning is based on the optimistic and fallacious assumption that the tasteless hordes will get one taste of abysmal phony Mexican food and want to pivot to something more authentic when in fact the evidence proves otherwise. Look at the popularity of Taco Bell, El Torito, and other shambolic soul-crushing food chains and you’ll see that the masses are quite content with eating phony soulless Mexican food and have complete disregard for the real thing. One last thing I must mention is that Arellano's argument is hypocritical and disingenuous. What do I mean? You won't see Arellano eating and praising Mexican food from white establishments or food chains. He himself goes to hole-in-the-walls owned by Mexicans and other ethnic people and finds his favorite foods from these delicious remote places. These are the places he celebrates in his columns. In other words, Arellano can't even put his money where his mouth is. So while I will read Gustavo Arellano’s cultural criticism, I will index his defense of white people stealing Mexican food in my Rejection and Nonsense File.
Are Social Justice Warriors Overdoing Their Mission to Defend Authenticity?
As we have studied, there are many motivations for cultural appropriation. There are respectful homages, disrespectful rip-offs, and everything in-between. Some cases aren’t so clear cut. Take, for example, the case of two white ladies who went to Mexico to learn how to make street food, returned to Portland, were accused of being thieves, and were forced to shut down.
Their rise and fall is described in the article “Kooks Serves Pop-Up Breakfast Burritos with Handmade Tortillas Out of a Food Cart on Cesar Chavez.”
We find that Kali Wilgus and Liz “LC” Connelly left Portland for Puerto Nuevo, fell in love with the handmade tortillas, “peeked” at the methods used when the locals wouldn’t unload their secrets, returned to Portland and experimented with what knowledge they had, and they served breakfast burritos partly inspired by Puerto Nuevo and party inspired by the “SoCal burrito.”
In many ways, their synthesis of ingredients and methods make them poster children for Gustavo Arellano. They were innovating and, yes, stealing in Arellano’s “Darwinian” sense, and were making some of the most “decadent” mouth-watering breakfast burritos in Portland, compelling people to stand in long lines.
But if you’ll notice, the article has an “Update: Koos has closed” caption on it.
What happened?
According to Caroline Moreno who wrote “Portland Burrito Cart Closes After Owners Are Accused of Cultural Appropriation,” the publicity surrounding Kali Wilgus and Liz “LC” Connelly grew and grew until enough people were offended by the fact that Wilgus and Connelly admitted to stealing the tortilla recipe and methods.
Many objected to the fact that Wilgus and Connelly didn’t show any remorse or desire to compensate the Mexican women whose recipes the two Anglo women stole before returning to Portland to strike it rich.
The narrative rubbed a lot of people the wrong way. As you can imagine in the age of social media where cancel culture is rampant, social justice warriors went on the rampage and forced the closure of Kooks.
While a moral principle was enforced, the Mexican women are not a penny richer, the people of Portland are being deprived of what were the best burritos available, and fewer Americans can now taste a part of authentic Mexican delicacy. Is all this worth it to enforce a moral principle? There is probably no clear right or wrong answer. I’ll let you decide. But based on what we’ve read from Gustavo Arellano, we can infer that he defends Wilgus and Connelly.
But don’t take my word for it. Here is Gustavo Arellano reiterating many of the ideas we’ve covered as he discusses the closure of Kooks on the KCRW Good Food podcast.
Arellano observes that Portland’s social justice warriors went overboard and that a lot of their extreme behavior is more of a response to the political climate than the women’s behavior. Further, Arellano agrees with Good Food host Evan Kleinman that there is an “authenticity fallacy” that makes a lot of white people reduce Mexican food to a narrow, fallacious definition of authenticity.
Attitude Counts
In Gustavo Arellano’s article “The Problem Isn’t Rick Bayless Cooking Mexican Food--It’s That He’s a Thin-Skinned Diva,” Arellano defends Rick Bayless for cooking Mexican food, but he excoriates Bayless for painting himself as a White Messiah who is America’s Mexican food champion. It is Bayless’ arrogance and condescension that piques Arellano, not Bayless’ cultural appropriation.
Race and Privilege
The controversy surrounding Rick Bayless and the aforementioned Portland women who made breakfast burritos of the now closed Kooks has steered the debate about authentic Mexican food to the subjects of race and privilege.
Tim Carman weighs in with his article “Should White Chefs Sell Burritos?” We read that racial shaming in Portland is a powerful political and economical tool and that social justice warriors have even made a list of white Portland restaurants owners whose businesses should be avoided and a list of similar restaurants of people of color who should be visited instead.
As Carman writes: “Someone in the City of Roses has even created a Google doc, listing the white-owned restaurants that have appropriated cuisines outside their own culture. For each entry, the document suggests alternative restaurants owned by people of color.”
Social Justice Warriors Impose Totalitarianism on the Food World
Both Tim Carman and Gustavo Arellano agree that this scrutiny of restaurants in which social justice warriors dictate what is authentic by matching a person’s race with the cuisine is extremist, limits the freedoms of what people do in the kitchen, including their culinary creativity, puts people in racial boxes, fails to recognize that there are fusion cuisines that defy categorization, and in general push a totalitarian mentality on the food world.
In other words, there is a totalitarian streak in the Cult of Authenticity movement. In an argumentative paper, this would be one of the grounds or reasons for defending Arellano’s claim that the Cult of Authenticity is bogus.
Throw a Wrench into the Argument
But there are arguments against Gustavo Arellano and Tim Carman. In a critical thinking class, we have to look at both sides. We have always to throw a wrench into the argument. Here is one:
In rejecting the social justice warriors’ rejection of cultural appropriation, are there abuses that cannot be ignored? Indeed, some abuses can be identified.
The “White-Washing” of Ethnic Cuisine
In the Katie Donovan article “Culinary Appropriation,” she contends that Rick Bayless and other prominent white chefs appoint themselves as translators of ethnic cuisine for a white consumer base in the interests of making money. By translating ethnic cuisine, these white chefs are appropriating the cuisine for their profits, misrepresenting the original foods and thereby diluting their authenticity, and egotistically claiming culinary greatness when the credit should be given to those who remain in obscurity. As Donovan writes:
“Bayless has had several transgressions against the Mexican culture through his response to critics. However, his description of ‘translating’ certain traditional Mexican ingredients for his Midwestern clients is borderline offensive. He is personally contributing to the white washing of the Mexican culinary culture in highlighting terms that would be more appealing to non-Mexican consumers. In order to market Mexican cuisine to a different audience, it seems as though Rick Bayless puts profits above respect for culture in his restaurants.”
“White-Washing” or “Innovation”?
Gustavo Arellano would agree with some of the above, especially the egotism of self-appointed Food Messiahs for ethnic cuisine. But Gustavo Arellano doesn’t think ethnic foods get “white washed” so much as innovated, and that this innovation keeps Mexican food relevant and dynamic whereas Italian and German food are stagnant and losing relevance in the American dining scene.
Language and Semantics
One of the most mind-boggling areas of argumentation is language or semantics: How we use language and the very words we choose to deliver our argument. If we use “white-washing” we will surely be more likely to be strongly opposed to cultural appropriation; if we use “innovation,” we will surely be more likely to defend, along with Gustavo Arellano, cultural appropriation.
Again, Not all Cultural Appropriation is the Same
A white chef “translating,” stealing, appropriating (or whatever word you want to use) from an ethnic community and profiteering from it is a very specific kind of cultural appropriation. But on a broader level, all food preparations borrow methods and ingredients from all over the world so that the evolution of food is built on a large degree of cultural appropriation. This point is made in the Matt Gross article “The Cultural Appropriation of Food.” Gross observes that pizza, ramen, Cajun-style Gumbo, and an endless list of foods come from trans-migration, innovation, improvisation, and, yes, cultural appropriation. That in fact is the history of food. As Gross writes:
“Ancient history: Cultural appropriation has given us the best food in the world. Pizza, for example, is unthinkable without tomatoes, which originated in the New World and so came to Italy as a result of Christopher Columbus’s voyages. Ramen did not become a big deal in Japan until the postwar American transitional authority brought tons and tons of wheat to the islands. Chili peppers, as this awesome story from Vincent Bevins at The Awl beautifully explained, originate in Latin America, so whenever a Thai curry or Sichuan hotpot sets your mouth aflame, you have the Spanish and especially the Portuguese to thank for bringing that fruit around the world. Oranges probably came from Southeast Asia. Wheat from southeastern Turkey. Apples from Kazakhstan. Last week, some Facebook friends and I determined that Cajun-style gumbo may be the most international food in the world, all of its essential ingredients having originated in farflung corners of the world.”
Your Nuanced View of Cultural Appropriation & Culinary Authenticity Will Influence Your Argument
As you consider the many definitions of cultural appropriation and culinary authenticity, you must also consider that the more complex and nuanced your definitions of these terms are the more sophisticated and impressive your essay will be.
Introduction
We have been looking at Gustavo Arellano’s claim that when it comes to Mexican food the Cult of Authenticity is a bad thing rife with fallacies and misconceptions. Let us, again, take a look at Arellano’s arguments before we examine counterarguments that challenge Arellano’s claim.
Review of Gustavo Arellano’s Arguments Against the Cult of Authenticity
(Pro Tip: The following arguments would make an excellent body paragraph outline for Essay 4)
- In spite of some phony white chefs who wrongly anoint themselves as ambassadors of Mexican food, mainstreaming Mexican food is on balance a good because it exposes more people to the greatness of Mexican food and encourages cultural respect and cultural celebration of Mexican contributions.
- Much of the purity cult behind the notion of authenticity is from whites on the Left and Right who don’t understand Mexican food or the Mexican people.
- Letting social justice warriors dictate what is authentic can lead to food totalitarianism and absurdly narrow, reductionist definitions of authenticity.
- The lines are blurred between innovation, cross-cultural synergy, and cultural appropriation, which has occurred since the beginning of time and is an inevitable part of how food evolves into amazing dishes.
- It’s absurd to reject Tex-Mex or Cal-Mex food when we consider that these fusions are about embracing the greatness of Mexican cuisine and that no food is good or bad per se; rather, how a chef executes the dish determines whether it’s good or not. It’s all about execution. A bad taco could put you in a bad mood for a week. An exceptional taco could “change your life” and inject your brain’s amygdala with euphoric endorphins.
Counterarguments that challenge Gustavo Arellano’s claim that we should reject the Cult of Authenticity
- Plagiarism Argument: When we steal intellectual or creative property, there should be consequences. We call this type of stealing plagiarism. Students who commit plagiarism get into big trouble. Shouldn’t cooks who steal creatively and in effect commit culinary plagiarism be subject to some kind of penalties? Should not these chefs who engage in stealing or cultural appropriation at the very least be required to ascribe credit to their sources? Should not these chefs who commit acts of culinary plagiarism at least be required to give a portion of their profits to the areas they stole from?
- Moral Argument: Cultural appropriation, the kind where privileged people go to a small town in the United States, Mexico or Latin America and then steal recipes and cooking methods, offends our common sense of morality, fairness, honesty, and justice. When Gustavo Arellano says, “Everybody steals,” and that’s just the “Darwinian” way in the hyper-competitive restaurant industry, could we not accuse Arellano of using a “two rights make a wrong fallacy”? This fallacy is commonly referred to as argumentum ad populum or appeal to the majority fallacy. In other words, just because the majority engage in immoral behavior doesn't make that behavior right.
- Quality Control or “Wannabes” Argument: Sure, Gustavo Arellano points out all these great examples of cultural appropriation, but those examples don’t diminish the exponential growth of phony Mexican restaurants that serve the most crass, disgusting, abominable “Mexican food” imaginable. Violating the Cult of Authenticity comes with a steep price: A bunch of wannabes steal some recipes and think they know how to make Mexican food when in fact what they are serving is an insult to Mexican food and to Mexican culture.
- Grandmother argument: A student told me he had some very mediocre Molcajete at an expensive Mexican restaurant. He told me, “When I visit my grandmother in Guatemala, she makes me Molcajete that blows all the other ones away. I can’t get excited paying premium dollar for a bunch of sad food that goes under the name of ‘Mexican food.’” What this student is saying essentially is that the tradition, experience, and love his grandmother puts in her homemade Molcajete cannot be compared to the vastly inferior substitutes. Grandmother’s cooking, in other words, is an argument for authenticity.
Pro Writing Tip for Essay 4: Consider Legit Food Innovation Principle Vs. Flagrant Thievery Principle
Hello Everyone,
As I pore over Gustavo Arellano’s claim that the rigid orthodoxy of food authenticity should be shattered in favor of more flexible food guidelines, I am struck by something that I believe will help you with your argumentative essay.
I am struck by the fact that Arellano uses not one but two arguments to support his claim, and these arguments do not dovetail conveniently to support his claim. To the contrary, his two arguments are divergent: They split and move in opposite directions and as such these diverging arguments weaken his overall claim.
Legit Food Innovation Principle Vs. Flagrant Thievery Principle
What are these two arguments?
The first argument, the one I agree with, is what I’ll call the Legit Food Innovation Principle. This principle states that we have food traditions based on our family, culture, and region, and natural forces cause us to make innovations. For example, we move and in moving we make natural adaptations and innovations based on the original recipe. Or our love and respect of the tacos compels us to be “taco artists” who experiment and make variations to put a spin on old classic style recipes.
I’ll give you two examples.
First, let us say a woman from Chihuahua, Mexico, moves to El Paso, Texas. In Chihuahua, she made tacos with cotija cheese, but in El Paso she can mostly access cheddar cheese, so she goes with the cheddar. Let us say the peppers and other ingredients that grow in her El Paso backyard are different from the plants that grow in her Chihuahua backyard, so she uses the ingredients that are local to her.
These innovations and adaptations, Arellano claims, are legit and totally support his claim that we should challenge food authenticity, which would dictate that we must rigidly adhere to the original recipe.
Here is a second example. Head chef of Guerrilla Tacos in downtown Los Angeles is Pico Rivera native Wes Avila. Mr. Avila is also featured in Netflix’s The Taco Chronicles. Wes Avila celebrates the diversity of tacos, he celebrates the various regions of tacos, and in doing so he is what I’d call a Taco Story-Teller, a craftsman, and an artist who looks at the corn tortilla as a “blank slate” on which to make his artistic creations. His Guerrilla Tacos menu is a testament to this fact. I would consider his approach to tacos part of the Legit Innovation Argument.
However, we must now arrive at another one of Arellano’s arguments, one that I disagree with. I call this the Flagrant Thievery Principle. Regarding the stealing of recipes, Arellano says “everyone does it” and it’s a smart money-making technique in the cutthroat restaurant business.
Here I must depart with Arellano for several reasons.
First the argument that “everyone does it” is a logical fallacy and any critical thinking instructor worth his salt will tell you that two wrongs never make a right. If everyone is stealing computer equipment at your workplace, that doesn’t mean it’s right for you to do the same. Our integrity demands that we never succumb to the “everyone does it” fallacy.
My second disagreement with Arellano is that I find it morally bankrupt for privileged predatory philistines to go down to Mexico, sneak around, steal recipes, and then repackage those recipes for their own profit. Many of my students have pointed out that such behavior smacks of systemic racism and exploitation. I personally wouldn’t want that bad mojo over my restaurant or my conscience.
My third disagreement with the Flagrant Thievery Principle is that Taco Bell got rich stealing from Mitla Cafe, and so according to Arellano, it must be good Sorry, but getting rich is not a moral defense of anything. Making an abomination of real Mexican food and contributing to the depersonalization of food culture through fast-food service is not a moral defense of food theft. My wife told me that Taco Bell and Jack in the Box exist, not for quality food, but because people get stoned and get the munchies. While she may be making an oversimplification, she may be on to something. In any event, making cheap soulless food for profit is hardly a defense of food theft and cultural appropriation.
Conclusion
I agree with Arellano’s Legit Food Innovation Principle, but I vehemently reject his Flagrant Thievery Principle. The latter argument tailspins out of control, careens off the road, and splashes into the Pacific Ocean where it belongs.
I want to thank my students who visited me during my Zoom office hours and asked me thoughtful questions, which made me pore over Arellano’s claim with more granular rigor and intensity.
Gustavo Arellano Is 75% Right
Gustavo Arellano has made many compelling, insightful points in his essay “Let White People Appropriate Mexican Food,” but do I agree with him? I’d say he’s 75% right.
He’s right that stealing or appropriating food is a reality in the Darwinian restaurant industry where creating buzz and mouth-watering dishes is a cut-throat business. He’s right that stealing and innovating food makes Mexican food relevant, vibrant, current, and popular. He’s right that stealing Mexican food in a way promotes it and helps scale it to the point that it’s the fastest-growing food globally.
However, Arellano has two glaring weaknesses in his argument. For one, he conveniently doesn’t address the sad fact that stealing food too often ruins the food. American bland tastebuds want bland foods, so too often restaurateurs cater to those bland tastebuds by Americanizing Mexican, Thai, Indian, Chinese, Korean, and other foods so that in America we get inferior, insipid versions of the original. Arellano’s argument would have been more credible had he addressed this issue.
Another weakness in Arellano’s argument is his avoidance of white rebranding of ethnic food. Take the Netflix series High on the Hog, for example, which teaches us that during slavery and the African Diaspora many African dishes were carried to America and then rebranded “Southern Cuisine,” which is a euphemism for white cuisine. Such rebranding is a moral abomination. Arellano should have addressed this type of appropriation to give his essay more credibility.
So on balance, Arellano makes some great points about how cultural appropriation can be a form of cultural appreciation that champions Mexican cooking. But he should have shown the unsavory underbelly of cultural appropriation: watered-down bland dishes like Taco Bell and white people rebranding ethnic cuisine as “white food.” Both of those scenarios are unacceptable.
To stimulate ideas for your essay, in a paragraph, present your reaction to the following counterarguments that challenge Gustavo Arellano’s defense of cultural appropriation.
- Plagiarism Argument: When we steal intellectual or creative property, there should be consequences. We call this type of stealing plagiarism. Students who commit plagiarism get into big trouble. Shouldn’t cooks who steal creatively and in effect commit plagiarism be subject to some kind of penalties? Should not these chefs who engage in stealing or cultural appropriation at the very least be required to ascribe credit to their sources? Should not these chefs who commit acts of culinary plagiarism at least be required to give a portion of their profits to the areas they stole from?
- Moral Argument: Cultural appropriation, the kind where privileged people go to a small town in the United States, Mexico or Latin America and steal recipes and cooking methods, offends our common sense of morality, fairness, honesty, and justice. When Gustavo Arellano says, “Everybody steals,” and that’s just the “Darwinian” way in the hyper-competitive restaurant industry, could we not accuse Arellano of using a “two rights make a wrong fallacy”? This fallacy is commonly referred to as argumentum ad populum or appeal to the majority fallacy.
- Quality Control or “Wannabes” Argument: Sure, Gustavo Arellano points out all these great examples of cultural appropriation, but those examples don’t diminish the exponential growth of phony Mexican restaurants that serve the most crass, disgusting, abominable “Mexican food” imaginable. Violating the Cult of Authenticity comes with a steep price: A bunch of wannabes steal some recipes and think they know how to make Mexican food when in fact what they are serving is an insult to Mexican food and Mexican culture.
- Grandmother argument: A student told me he had some very mediocre Molcajete at an expensive Mexican restaurant. He told me, “When I visit my grandmother in Guatemala, she makes me Molcajete that blows all the other ones away. I can’t get excited paying premium dollar for a bunch of sad food that goes under the name of ‘Mexican food.’” What this student is saying essentially is that the tradition, experience, and love his grandmother puts in her homemade Molcajete cannot be compared to the vastly inferior substitutes. Grandmother’s cooking, in other words, is an argument for authenticity.
Sentence Fragments
Sentence fragments are incomplete thoughts presented as dependent clauses or phrases.
A dependent clause or a phrase is never a complete sentence.
Types of dependent clauses:
Whenever I drive up windy mountains,
Because I have craved pizza for 14 months,
Unless you add coffee to your chocolate cake recipe,
,which is currently enjoying a resurgence.
Phrases
Enamored by the music of Tupac Shakur,
Craving pesto linguine with olive-oil based clam sauce,
Flexing his muscles with a braggadocio never seen in modern times,
Lying under the bridge and eating garlic pepper pretzels with a dollop of cream cheese and a jug of chilled apple cider,
To understand the notion of Universal Basic Income and all of its related factors for social change in this disruptive age,
Running into crowded restaurants with garlic and whiskey fuming out of his sweaty pores while brandishing a golden scepter,
Examples
I won't entertain your requests for more money and gifts. Until you show at least a modicum of responsibility at school and with your friends.
I won't consider buying the new BMW sports coupe. Unless of course my uncle gives me that inheritance he keeps talking about whenever he gets a bit tipsy.
I can't imagine ever going to Chuck E. Cheese. Which makes me feel like I'm emotionally arrested.
I am considering the purchase of a new wardrobe. That is, if I'm picked for that job interview at Nordstrom.
Human morals have vanished. To the point at which it was decided that market values would triumph.
No subject
Marie Antoinette spent huge sums of money on herself and her favorites. And helped to bring on the French Revolution.
No complete verb
The aluminum boat sitting on its trailer.
Beginning with a subordinating word
We returned to the drugstore. Where we waited for our buddies.
A sentence fragment is part of a sentence that is written as if it were a complete sentence. Reading your draft out loud, backwards, sentence by sentence, will help you spot sentence fragments.
Sentence Fragment Exercises
After each sentence, write C for complete or F for fragment sentence. If the sentence is a fragment, correct it so that it is a complete sentence.
One. While hovering over the complexity of a formidable math problem and wondering if he had time to solve the problem before his girlfriend called him to complain about the horrible birthday present he bought her.
Two. In spite of the boyfriend’s growing discontent for his girlfriend, a churlish woman prone to tantrums and grand bouts of petulance.
Three. My BMW 5 series, a serious entry into the luxury car market.
Four. Overcome with nausea from eating ten bowls of angel hair pasta slathered in pine nut garlic pesto.
Five. Winding quickly but safely up the treacherous Palos Verdes hills in the shrouded mist of a lazy June morning, I realized that my BMW gave me feelings of completeness and fulfillment.
Six. To attempt to grasp the profound ignorance of those who deny the compelling truths of science in favor of their pseudo-intellectual ideas about “dangerous” vaccines and the “myths” of global warming.
Seven. The girlfriend whom I lavished with exotic gifts from afar.
Eight. When my cravings for pesto pizza, babaganoush, and triple chocolate cake overcome me during my bouts of acute anxiety.
Nine. Inclined to stop watching sports in the face of my girlfriend’s insistence that I pay more attention to her, I am throwing away my TV.
Ten. At the dance club where I espy my girlfriend flirting with a stranger by the soda machine festooned with party balloons and tinsel.
Eleven. The BMW speeding ahead of me and winding into the misty hills.
Twelve. Before you convert to the religion of veganism in order to impress your vegan girlfriend.
Thirteen. Summoning all my strength to resist the giant chocolate fudge cake sweating on the plate before me.
Identify the Fragments Below
Identify the Fragments Below
I drank the chalky Soylent meal-replacement drink. Expecting to feel full and satisfied. Only to find that I was still ravenously hungry afterwards. Trying to sate my hunger pangs. I went to HomeTown Buffet. Where I ate several platters of braised oxtail and barbecued short ribs smothered in a honey vinegar sauce. Which reminded me of a sauce where I used to buy groceries from. When I was a kid.
Feeling bloated after my HomeTown Buffet indulgence. I exited the restaurant. After which I hailed an Uber and asked the driver for a night club recommendation. So I could dance off all my calories. The driver recommended a place, Anxiety Wires. I had never heard of it. Though, it was crowded inside. I felt eager to dance and confident about “my swag.” Although, I was still feeling bloated. Wondering if my intestines were on the verge of exploding.
Sweating under the night club’s outdoor canopy. I smelled the cloying gasses of a nearby vape. A serpentine woman was holding the vape. A gold contraption emitting rose-water vapors into my direction. Contemplating my gluttony. I was suddenly feeling low confidence. Though I pushed myself to introduce myself to the vape-smoking stranger with the serpentine features. Her eyes locked on mine.
I decided to play it cool. Instead of overwhelming her with a loud, brash manner. Which she might interpret as neediness on my part.
Keeping a portable fan in my cargo pocket for emergencies. When I feel like I’m overheating. I took the fan out of my pocket, turned it on, and directed it toward the serpentine stranger. Making it so the vapors were blowing back in her face.
“Doesn’t smell so good, does it?” I said. With a sarcastic grin.
She cackled, then said, “Thank you for blowing the vapors in my face. Now I can both enjoy inhaling them and breathing them in. For double the pleasure. You are quite a find. Come home with me and I’ll introduce you to my mother Gertrude and her pitbull Jackson. I’m sure they’ll welcome you into our home. Considering what a well-fed handsome man you are.”
“Thank you for the compliment,” I said. “I would love to meet your mother Gertrude and your mother’s pitbull Jackson. Only one problem. My breath smells like a rotting dead dragon. Right after eating spicy ribs. Which reminds me? Do you have any breath mints?”
“I don’t believe in carrying breath mints. On account of the rose-water vape. That cleanses my palate. Making my breath rosy fresh.”
“Wow. Your constant good breath counteracts my intractable bad breath. Making us a match in heaven.”
“I agree. Totally. You really need to meet my mother. Because she’ll bless us and make our marriage official. Since we really need her blessing. Agreed?”
“Agreed.”
“Now let me smell your breath. So I can identify the hot sauce.”
“Why must you do that?”
“So I can use the same hot sauce on our wedding cake, silly. To celebrate the first night we met. Capisce?”
“Capisce.”
She approached me. Affording me a view of her long, tired face. Covered in scales. Reptilian. Evocative of something primitive. Something precious and indelible from my childhood lost long ago. I wanted to run from her, but I could not. Some mysterious force drew me to her, and we inched closer and closer toward one another. Succumbing to a power neither of us could fathom.
Comma Splice Review
Identify the Comma Splices Below:
It’s not a question of will there be chaos or will there be destruction, it’s a question of how much?
MySpace was disruptive in its time, however, it’s a dated platform and to simply mention it is to make people laugh with a certain derision surely it’s a platform that has seen its time, another example is the meal replacement Soylent, its creator made a drink that says, “You’re too busy to eat,” so drinking this pancake batter-like concoction gives tech people street. I may laugh at its stupidity, instead I should admire it since the product has made millions for its creator. It’s proven to be somewhat disruptive.
To be sure, though, Facebook redefines the word disruptive, it has rapidly accrued over 3 billion users and will soon have half the planet plugged into its site, that is the apotheosis of a greedy person’s fantasy, imagine controlling half the planet on a platform that mines private information and targets ads toward specific personality profiles.
One of the scary disruptions of Facebook is that billions of people have lost their personal agency, what that means that people have unknowingly been manipulated by Facebook’s puppeteers to the point that many Facebook users suffer from social media addiction, moreover, these same users prefer the fake life they curate on social media to the real life they once had, in fact, their previous real life is just a puff of smoke that has faded into the distance, many people no longer even know what it means to be “real” anymore, having lost their agency, having succumbed to their Facebook addiction, they have become zombies waiting for their next rush of social media-fueled dopamine, what a sad state of affairs.
