Let's Lose Weight by Making a Deal with the Devil

People are so beholden to their raging appetites and the self-loathing of not having a svelte body conducive to underwear modeling that they capitulate to another form of slavery: The Extreme Diet. One that piques my imagination is the current Cookie Diet, in which you eat cookies, allegedly chockfull of nutrition, throughout the day and then eat a lean protein dinner and salad at night. I imagine if we ate only ONE food every day, we’d be bound to lose weight. But there is something unseemly and dehumanizing about being so desperate to shed pounds that we would eliminate our food choices and curl up in a fetal-like reductionary diet. Desperately sucking on the teat of some doctor’s prescribed “nutritional cookies.” Others would take a fat-blocking substance like Olestra that leads to “underwear staining” and incontinence. I smell a Faustian Bargain-like stench in today’s asinine culinary zeitgeist.