Dear Mr. Man Points,
Recently my wife persuaded me to take a yoga class with her at our local health club. The yoga class is in the back of the gym, so that my wife and I had to navigate through the weight-lifting section first and it was here that I had to pass the gauntlet of all my former workout buddies, hefty goliaths with bloated pecs and chalk on their calloused hands. I still have fresh and fond memories of us all bouncing four-hundred-pound barbells off our chests during male-bonding bench-pressing orgies. With this rich history, I had hoped these over-muscled fellows would give me a friendly nod, but I was greatly mistaken. They took one look at me in my yoga outfit, earth toned crop pants and zip hoody made of organic cotton, and they sneered at me with contempt and shook their heads. I could almost hear them muttering to themselves, “Another one of us gone to the other side.” I felt mortified like I had committed some heinous Man Points violation. Was my venturing into the yoga section a trespass of some sort?
Good God, man. It’s not the yoga that makes you lose Man Points. It’s you giving a crap what those troglodytes think of you. For the record, men who sneer at yoga are ignoramuses. For it is a well established fact among Men In The Know that over ten years ago the entire Philadelphia Eagles football team started doing yoga as a way of improving their athleticism and reducing injuries. The benefits proved to be so dramatic that today all NFL teams do yoga. Clearly, NFL players are at the top of the Man Points Hierarchy. So the next time you accompany your wife to a yoga lesson, grow some Man Balls and walk proudly by her side.
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