Saving Your Manhood Tip #15: Your Forearms Can Never be Too Big

There comes a point in every man's life when he realizes he can never get his forearms too big. The Era of Ridiculous Forearms was ushered in during America's Golden Age of Cartoons when Popeye, sailor, lover, and spinach-monger, hit the scene with forearms that would someday become the ideal aspired by such baseball greats as Steve Garvey, Jeff Bagwell and Lenny Dykstra.  In the business world, big forearms can salvage a bad day at the office when the office functionary is verbally abused by the barking boss and can at least sulk in his cubicle with his sleeves rolled up, his beefy forearms evidence that his manhood hasn't been completely obliterated by his professional and domestic obligations. Because huge forearms are so essential to our masculine identity, we are obliged to train our forearms rigorously, performing barbell wrist curls and reverse curls a minimum of four days a week for at least 10 sets of 20 repetitions, making sure our forearms become so tight with blood engorgement that we cannot move our fingers. This is a manly, pleasing pain that assures us we are being obedient to the Male Code and thus protecting our masculinity in a culture that is so hostile toward it.