Saving Your Manhood Tip #16: The Importance of the Manshake

Since man hunted animals, waged territorial disputes, and lived in caves, he has created a list of taboos, forbidden actions that compromise his masculinity and lower his esteem in the eyes of others. One of the most forbidden American taboos is man’s failure to make a strong first impression. Men who appear weak upfront will be perceived as pencil-neck geeks and in a world where perception is often stronger than reality, these men will face diminished esteem, an obstacle that is often insurmountable. For example, the president of a financial consulting firm takes an underling to the golf course to play 18 holes with a potential client, a former all-state wrestler who, upon shaking the underling’s hand, crushes it easily. The potential client deems the underling a wussy and decides to take his business elsewhere. The underling made the error of offering the potential client a soggy, limp hand during the all-important ritual of the Manly Handshake, what Men In The Know simply call the “Manshake.”

If you or anyone doubts the importance of a dominant handshake, may I refer you to Tom Chiarella’s “The Art of the Handshake” published in Esquire in which he argues that a powerful handshake affords a man unparalleled esteem and privileges: “Truth be told, a man who has a good handshake can do any goddamned thing he wants. I'm not saying he will; I'm saying he can. He can work a room--one person to the next, shaking with strangers, with old colleagues, with huge men and tiny women alike--with his hand. People remember him; they listen to him. Men like this are followed.” Chiarella points out that a good handshake is a highly specialized art form dependent on several factors: "The good handshake demands a particularly strong command of several divergent elements of influence in a single gesture, in one smallish moment, in order to connect with a person whom (presumably) you have never met before. Think of the components: a swift, elegant movement toward the waiting hand, wise use of the eyes, the considered grip strength, even the rhythm of the shake is important. All that and you have to speak, too; you have to be engaged enough to muster a question, remember a name, acknowledge some common experience while you grip, shake, and release."

In a culture that places such a high premium on a hearty handshake and the promise of self-improvement, the American man has little choice but to equip himself with the complete line of Captains of Crush Grippers and train like mad, for he cannot be sure if his next handshake is the one that will earn him ranks into the Male Club of Prosperity or force him to be exiled into impoverished pariah status forever. 

July 21, 2007 in

Since man hunted animals, waged territorial disputes, and lived in caves, he has created a list of taboos, forbidden actions that compromise his masculinity and lower his esteem in the eyes of others. One of the most forbidden American taboos is man’s failure to make a strong first impression. Men who appear weak upfront will be perceived as pencil-neck geeks and in a world where perception is often stronger than reality, these men will face diminished esteem, an obstacle that is often insurmountable. For example, the president of a financial consulting firm takes an underling to the golf course to play 18 holes with a potential client, a former all-state wrestler who, upon shaking the underling’s hand, crushes it easily. The potential client deems the underling a wussy and decides to take his business elsewhere. The underling made the error of offering the potential client a soggy, limp hand during the all-important ritual of the Manly Handshake, what Men In The Know simply call the “Manshake.”

If you or anyone doubts the importance of a dominant handshake, may I refer you to Tom Chiarella’s “The Art of the Handshake” published in Esquire in which he argues that a powerful handshake affords a man unparalleled esteem and privileges: “Truth be told, a man who has a good handshake can do any goddamned thing he wants. I'm not saying he will; I'm saying he can. He can work a room--one person to the next, shaking with strangers, with old colleagues, with huge men and tiny women alike--with his hand. People remember him; they listen to him. Men like this are followed.” Chiarella points out that a good handshake is a highly specialized art form dependent on several factors: "The good handshake demands a particularly strong command of several divergent elements of influence in a single gesture, in one smallish moment, in order to connect with a person whom (presumably) you have never met before. Think of the components: a swift, elegant movement toward the waiting hand, wise use of the eyes, the considered grip strength, even the rhythm of the shake is important. All that and you have to speak, too; you have to be engaged enough to muster a question, remember a name, acknowledge some common experience while you grip, shake, and release."

In a culture that places such a high premium on a hearty handshake and the promise of self-improvement, the American man has little choice but to equip himself with the complete line of Captains of Crush Grippers and train like mad, for he cannot be sure if his next handshake is the one that will earn him ranks into the Male Club of Prosperity or force him to be exiled into impoverished pariah status forever.