Save Your Manhood Tip #56: Wearing a Gold Thong Under Your Uniform Is Only Manly If You're Winning

There's a lot of hubbub these days regarding reports about the struggling Yankees trying to get out of their slump by wearing women's undergarments under their uniforms. Jason Giambi wears a gold thong with "flame-line waistband." Johnny Damon wears golden panties. If you're having a monster season and/or winning a lot of games, these sartorial excursions will actually earn you Man Points by showing that you are a hipster with an insouciant touch of irony when it comes to your masculinity. However, when you're struggling at the bottom of the standings and having a mediocre season, admitting to wearing lingerie under your uniform doesn't have the same giddy, bubbly appeal. It's more than pathetic. It's lugubrious. And it must result in a serious loss of Man Points.

In contrast to the publicized shenanigans in which stars become exhibitionists on a reality show, we must look back to a more more manly era in the baseball world to find an athlete truly worthy of Man Points. As Mike Walsh writes:

In his 30's, in the middle of an illustrious baseball career, Ted Williams got recalled as a Marine pilot in Korea, and his F9F Panther got shot up and damaged during a raid.

He eventually found a safe landing at a USAF base.

Naturally, this second tour meant that his career totals were lower than they would have been, but he never complained. He considered what he did to be his duty to his country, and kept his mouth shut.

I think we can assume that he did not have lady's underwear on during any of this.

Don't ever let anyone tell you we're not declining as a civilization.

Comments

[Mike W]

In his 30's, in the middle of an illustrious baseball career, Ted Williams got recalled as a Marine pilot in Korea, and his F9F Panther got shot up and damaged during a raid.

He eventually found a safe landing at a USAF base.

Naturally, this second tour meant that his career totals were lower than they would have been, but he never complained. He considered what he did to be his duty to his country, and kept his mouth shut.

I think we can assume that he did not have lady's underwear on during any of this.

Don't ever let anyone tell you we're not declining as a civilization.

[Jeff McMahon]

Mike, I like your juxtaposition of Ted Williams and today's "stars." I should post it. Jeff