Dear Mr. Man Points,
How can I be a manly shopper?
Dear Reader,
Manly shopping is defined by
visceral, testosterone-fueled desire combined with definitive research resulting in a purchase that
leads to rich satisfaction. A real manly shopper knows what he wants on an
emotional level and he knows why he wants it on an intellectual, technical
level. In other words, he knows the specs, the comparisons, the performance
expectations. His knowledge, keen insight, and meticulous research spare him the embarrassment of regretting a purchase.
Another distinguishing
characteristic of the manly shopper is that he doesn’t give a damn about
pleasing others. He only cares about pleasing himself and he has the courage
and conviction to enjoy his consumer products on his terms, regardless of what
trends are currently being embraced by the ignorant masses.
Another crucial ingredient of the
manly shopper is that he thoroughly reads the owner’s manual, knows it in and
out and has it memorized within 4 hours. A photographic memory of the owner’s
manual comes in handy and he enjoys not having to delve into his filing cabinet
if some trouble shooting issue should arise.
Finally, the manly shopper always
registers his product, saves his warranty, and keeps his receipt so that he
doesn’t get ripped off should his item go awry. He is not, however, one to
repair a gadget if the cost of the new version isn’t significantly more. But he
won’t buy the new version if he has reason to believe it will repeat the same
problems of the earlier model.
Manly shoppers rarely get burned.
And if they do, they never get burned by the same company twice.
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