Living in Los Angeles, that cosmopolitan locale rich with the “creative class,” to borrow a term from author and self-described “thought-leader” Richard Florida, I have access to of the most vital minds on the planet—“green” entrepreneurs, cutting-edge artists, noble misfits, and self-styled cognoscenti, and I am confident that I can find a guide who will mentor me as I undergo what will be nothing less than a dramatic transformation into a full-fledged authentic hipster. The problem is that I do not live in the real Los Angeles. Rather, I live in an outlying suburb, Torrance, and my neighborhood is somewhat anti-hipster. Its most popular restaurants are Chili’s, Coco’s, the Outback, Macaroni Grill, the Olive Garden and similar eatery chains whose main appeal is easing their patrons’ fears that the foods served might strain their closed-minded flavor palettes by virtue of being unfamiliar or outright unrecognizable. SUVs and monster trucks remain popular. Fashion-wise, Torrance residents shun the wardrobes worn by people in the real urban centers of Los Angeles—the West side, Santa Monica, Los Feliz, and Silver Lake, to name a few—and prefer more stodgy modes of sartorial wear, which has made some malcontented Torrance residents refer to their city as “Bakersfield by the Beach.” While I personally find their comparison a rather harsh one, I do agree with their general point that Torrance is somewhat hipster-challenged.
Therefore, it is unlikely my consultant will come from Torrance. Most likely, I will have to emerge from my beloved cave and venture twenty or thirty miles to a bustling hipster center. As I hate to drive more than five miles in one direction and in fact live five miles from the college I teach at, I am dreading the prospect of getting on a notorious Los Angeles freeway. But alas I must. For my nation is undergoing growing pains with its massive cultural shift, and so must I.
After mulling the possibilities, it occurs to me I have a potential hipster guru, Zevon, a former college composition student, whom I’ve kept in touch with over the last ten years, and he has compelling credentials. He eventually transferred to UC Santa Cruz, where he become the chief editor of the university’s magazine. After graduating, he worked in private industry, first for a fashion magazine and then as a copy editor for an international toy company in Malibu. Disenchanted with the monotonous circadian rhythms of the business world at the age of twenty-seven, he resigned from his lucrative position and is now in grad school. Zevon speaks fluent Spanish, German, and French, which gives him huge hipster status. He regularly reads the New York Times, Le Monde, and Spiegel. He is adept at cooking Lebanese, Persian, and Indian cuisine. Recently, he was featured in a food magazine for his award-winning recipe for babaganoush. While he owns an iPod, he prefers listening to vintage record albums on a turn table and he has proven to me that the sound is more “pure.” His girlfriend, Petra, is a sultry ingénue in an indie band called Liaison. In her second year of fashion design school, she supports herself by working at an upscale perfume boutique. She is, Zevon told me, a fashion insider, a member of the fashion cognoscenti, and as such she is willing to help me throw out my wardrobe and replace it with something fitting the cultural shift championed by our new svelte smartly-dressed, President. The prospect of getting rid of my elastic-waistband Dockers is a daunting one, but the Hipster Train is accelerating faster and faster and I don’t want to miss that train.
"Los Feliz" - you people out in CA have the coolest place names. "Los Gatos" is even cooler.
Posted by: Mike W | November 12, 2008 at 06:33 PM
Arroyo Grande
Palos Verdes
Yeah
Posted by: jeffrey McMahon | November 12, 2008 at 06:41 PM
LA cities were mentioned in all the Bugs Bunny cartoons--"Make a left at Cucamonga!"..."I must have made a wrong turn at Pismo Beach"
Posted by: Ed | November 12, 2008 at 07:10 PM
And that's in addition to Bugs & Fudd introducing generations of American children to classical music.
Let's not leave out W.C. Fields - Lompoc, "A. Pismo Clam", etc.
Posted by: Mike W | November 12, 2008 at 07:23 PM