Stop Your Whining and Get Yourself a Manly Radio

Dear Herculodge,

My little RCA RF5400 Smart Snooze clock radio hardly gets any stations I listen to. It got good reviews on Amazon. My next step was to go to Best Buy where I looked at their clock radios and I was completely lost. There are so many radios to choose from! Please, Herculodge, steer me in the direction of a good clock radio.

Dear Reader,

Stop whining to me because your drug store clock radio with the little pig tail wire antenna in the back, a sissy's excuse for an FM "antenna," doesn't get squat for reception. The first red flag should have been the words "smart snooze." Real men don't buy candy-ass radios that say "smart snooze" on them. Real men are vigorous, hearty men, adventurers, firemen, nautical engineers, MMA fighters, and the like. 

You don't even want me to tell you how small your radio's ferrite AM antenna is, you pencil-neck geek. 

Come on, dude, get it out of your head that you need a clock radio. The first step in restoring your masculinity is to put on your Big Boy Pants and throw away all your clock radios. 

Now let's get down to the nitty-gritty and steer you toward a real radio, a manly radio. You will have to step into the past, comrade, as today's radios have all been wussified in our demasculinized world. You can either whine about it or get pro-active. I decided to grab the bull by the horns and got myself some real radios. Here are some manly radio recommendations. They are all apex performers, they are all as sturdy as tanks, they are all made of high-grade materials. Whichever one you get, you will restore your masculinity, your pride, and, yes, comrade, you will receive all your FM stations.

Radio One: The Panasonic RF-888

Radio Two. The Panasonic RF-877

Radio Three. The Panasonic RF-1130

Radio Four. The Sony ICF-5900

Radio Five. The Sony ICF-5500

Comments

[Angelo]

Yes, yes, here here, hear hear.

[Huesby]

How is the performance of the The Panasonic RF-1130 in AM and FM among that that group ?

[Jeffrey McMahon]

It's one of my very best. AM has a gyro antenna. FM is very sensitive. A very rare radio. And looks that can kill.