Are You a Mega Eater? Here Are the 13 Tell-Tale Signs

 

1. You’re almost always hungry. Even shortly after a substantial meal, about a half hour or so, you’re already pondering over some delicious snack that will hold you over before your next large-course feeding.
2. You’re always thinking and dreaming about food. You may wake from an ecstatic food dream feeling resentful that the divine truckload of cookies you were gorging on were, alas, just part of a dream and that now in the waking state you must satisfy your appetites with more earthly food quantities.
3. You don’t chew your food thoroughly to maximize healthy digestion but rather wolf your food down as if you’re storing calories for the pending Great Famine or getting your food in your gut before barbarians and marauders steal it from you.
4. You can’t listen to people conversing at the table because you’re so absorbed by your manic eating experience.
5. You have super taste buds, which make you experience food more intensely than others. You’ve even been known to faint upon tasting something unusually flavorful.
6. You are educated about mindful, healthy eating (you’ve probably read The Omnivore’s Dilemma, In Defense of Food, and Diet for a Small Planet, to name a few examples) and have learned to cook healthy tasty meals for yourself, incorporating the sound principles of the Slow Food Movement, but find your rich food knowledge does not assuage your robust appetite and against your wishes you consume at least twice as many calories a day as you’d like.
7. You become easily fixated on one food and obsess over it, eating it over and over for months at a time, until you exchange that obsession for a new one and start the fixation process all over again.
8. You can rhapsodically talk about food for hours and hours and never get bored with the topic.
9. You wake up at 3 A.M. or so and can not return to sleep until you allay your gnawing hunger pains with a banana, a large bowl of cereal, a large sandwich, or anything that coats your belly so that like a baby you can slumber with a peaceful disposition.
10. You are very protective of food and will hide and hoard it to insure you get your “fair share” of it.
11. Even as you sate your appetite while sitting at a lavish, toothsome lunch, you find yourself, while gorging on your mid-day meal, already worrying about what you’ll have for dinner.  You’ve also been known plan your meals for several weeks in advance.
12. You eat 8 or even 9 times a day.
13. Your mega eating was not triggered by some trauma or psychological decomposition. Rather, you have been a mega eater since you remember and, hardwired to be a mega eater, you feel imprisoned by your insatiable appetites.

 

Treatment:

I know of none. If you find something that works, let me know. 

Comments

[dorpmuller]

Guilty on all counts except fainting! Otherwise description fits me to a T.

Only treatment I know is death! :)

[Jeffrey McMahon]

I have all 13. The fainting was the only hyperbole in the post. Sheesh.