My good friend Dave heard I was in the biggest struggle of my life parent 6-week twin girls. Evoking the spirit of Rainer Maria Rilke, he wrote me some words of encouragement, which have emboldened me and prepare me to march forward:
Three different friends of mine became dads and had a real hard time at first (one mom I know did as well). They were basically resentful because they gave up a whole host of things from their lives--time, money, fun, sleep, sex, you name it--and all they got in return was a crying, shitting, cold, sleeping ("Don't wake it up!!!"), little eggplant that looks like Winston Churchill). They felt this way for months and really regretted it.
The good news is when they started becoming sentient, talking, mimicking, laughing, being a small little person with a personality, sense of humor, likes and dislikes and quirks and muddle, they fell instantly in love.
They didn't see birth as a miracle, so much as a biological process that happens about 1.7 million times a second. If that's a miracle, so is a healthy shit.
However, when the little things started to become
little people, they were totally head over heels and pathetic little
picture showing, lunch room bragging daddy freaks. One of them was
actually 49 when he had his little girl--he and his wife each have 17
year olds from previous marriages and were celebrating how in two years
they could live life for themselves and be done with being parents.
Then, the cosmic muffin mocked them with a daughter. He HATED the idea
of it and was really angry and resentful in the Spring semester when she
was born. By Fall, he had pictures everywhere and wouldn't stop talking
about her. He even cut back on his Makers Mark!
Comments