This Summer a Student Paid Me the Highest Flattery

This summer I had an Iranian student, Arash, take my critical thinking class, a course in which he scored more points than any student. Standing about six foot three inches and holding a black belt in Tao Kwon Dao, Arash, a religious minority (often persecuted) Zarathustrian, was granted sanctuary in the United States about a year ago. He also performed two tours in Afhganistan with the United Nations. 

During our last meeting in my office when he turned in his final essay, he said he wanted to thank me for being a great teacher. “You are very humble, sir.” He meant that as a compliment and I took it as such. The context of this compliment was to explain to me that when he first got to California he had to take an ESL class and the teacher insulted and denigrated him repeatedly, mocking his heavy accent and treating him like he was stupid. At one point Arash explained he was “this close” to dropping out of school. He was polite but seething with rage. This woman didn’t know he spoke six languages fluently, he said. She didn't know Arash had traveled the world, has risked his life for humanitarian causes. She was pathetically ignorant and misguided. 

And then he thanked me for my teaching and said I was humble. No one has ever called me humble before, but I take that as a great complement, partly because I truly am humble. Over the years I’ve been humbled by my colossal failures, embarrassments and humiliations, fragilities, my lack of willpower when it comes to eating, my compulsive, often addictive and obsessive behavior, my tendency to fray people’s nerves, my neediness, my perennial adolescent histrionics, my impatience. All these things have made me humble. 

To see Arash pinpoint my humility based on my life experience affirmed that I’ve changed for the better as I’ve entered my early fifties. 

To be flattered by someone with such high intelligence is high flattery indeed. 

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Comments

[Angelo]

I think in general, people need to be more open minded----need to get out of their own cocoon and maybe learn a thing or three about others. Empathy is nice too----not that this other teacher needed to have empathy for the student----but I guess maybe some understanding of why he might speak with an accent. If she had taken the time to learn about Arash what you did, she would have enormous respect for him and would see his STRONG English as a miracle of sorts, instead of seeing his English with a heavy accent as a weakness. I have a feeling that other prof is in her own world----self absorbed to the thousanth degree. She'll never get it. That's a shame for her students.

[herculodge]

Well said, Angelo.

[Angelo]

Yeah----and re-reading your post, something else occurs to me: You wrote a lot more about Arash than you did about that other teacher. But even so----I think your story says a lot more about her than it does about him. He's an achiever----an unusually gifted person too. He's probably overcome a lot to get to where he is. There's a lot of details "missing" about her----but I think that without judging her, I can read an awful lot in. I think I've probably met her before, many times.

[Keith Beesley]

Humility is a virtue we often overlook. Nowadays, it's all about "tooting your own horn."

[Dave P]

In my day, 'tooting your own horn' meant something totally different.

Thank you, I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

[Ulysses]

Exactly Keith. Humility these days is seen more as a negative personality trait by many who seek wealth via fame and exposure. Personally I take it as a great compliment.