We Need a New Word for a Particular Type of Facebook Remorse

Here's a word we all need:

You've just posted something juicy and witty on Facebook, something that shows-off your dazzling personality and you're eager to watch dozens of "likes" and comments abound throughout the next several days, even weeks.

But here's the kicker: The comments are coming from the wrong people, those who don't belong to your Facebook Cool List.

These are the uncools. Remorse sets in. Depressed, you delete your Facebook account and go into therapy. 

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Comments

[John Tutolo]

Why does everything need to be advertised? Is approval from 'friends' really that important? Have wondered similarly about bumper stickers.

[Gregory]

We'll... I chose to deal with this by NOT participating in Facebook. Perhaps my wife is correct and I'm just an old fart?

Regards,
Gregory

[jonnybardo]

Jeff, I thought you were going to write about the shame I feel merely by going to Facebook. But what you describe is relatively common. It has to do with a kind of failed ego gratification.

There's a related feeling, what could be described as Facebook Jealousy - when someone is jealous of another's friends list or how many likes they're receiving on a post. I've seen that as well (although never experienced it).

[Angelo]

But guys, isn't it just an electronic version of high school? It's life on a computer screen (or smart phone), nothing more or less. If anything, it gives some people the chance to shine online----people who were too shy or awkward to interact in high school, get to be themselves and say some things from the safety of their basement! As for the friends list, I don't understand the need for some to "collect" friends. It's not a contest----fewer, better "friends" makes for a much more interesting feed as far as I can tell.

[Dave P]

One of the things I find a bit ......well, awkward I guess, is the friend request from a high school classmate, who I barely knew back then and haven't seen in 30+ years. I mean, it's okay if it was someone that I actually hung out with from time to time, but it's not okay when it's from someone that I barely knew, and had zero interaction with. Look, just because we graduated in the same class doesn't mean we're 'friends' three decades down the road. Still, sometimes I feel bad when I deny the request. But you know what, I always get over it.

[Ed S.]

Dave, you don't have to approve every friend request from every social relic from your past.

There are also ways to assign people into classes of friendship: Family, Close Friends, Freinds, Aquaintences. By choosing who can see each brilliant post you write, you can ensure only the proper class of "friend" will be able to see it.

Also, if the notoriety is too painful for you, you can always open an account under a psuedonym, like say "Laslo Smith" or something similar.

[Angelo]

Actually, I like getting friend requests from some people in my high school class who I didn't know well. Turns out, we have common interests and as 50 year olds, no shackles keeping us from being "friends" even if it's online and not in person (I live hundreds of miles from where I grew up.). In school----there were social pressures and cliques that kept me from getting to know some very decent people----or them getting to know me. Funny how 30 years makes a difference for most of us. I also find it interesting to see who is missing in action----some of the more popular people. Is it that they don't want to open a Facebook account, which is understandable. Is it that they're dead? Probably not, because others probably would have heard. Or, is it that they are ashamed of their lives? I don't know.

[Tom Welch]

My experience with FB has been that FB is not a venue for serious discussion of issues. As Angelo said FB is a lot like high school. Strangely, I have a lot of friends from high school on FB, but only a few friends from college.

[John Tutolo]

All this is too much work. Just get out and meet your neighbors, take a walk!
Instead we tend to step into our SUVs, drive and then back into the garage. Whatever happened to society.

[Angelo]

John: Funny you say that. I was having lunch with my co-worker yesterday----in a local restaurant----and my next door neighbors (married couple) walked in. I talked to them for a while---before our food came out and then when we were leaving (we all ended up finishing at the same time). My co-worker said "Those are your next door neighbors and you had to spend all that time catching up with them???" I told him----we're just on different schedules, always seem to be too busy to just walk 100 feet and knock on the door or invite them over for a drink. They're great people too----it's just weird how we're in our own cocoons.

[Ed]

But how else can you surreptitiously carry on relationships with your old flames with no guilt?