Herculodge

Will the Real Paleo Diet Please Stand Up?

Paleo scientists discover what they really ate by looking into their "records," as posted on Slate today. Turns out they were omniverous, more so than today's supposed Paleo diet books would indicate.

Related articles

Any Diet, Meat-Eating Or Vegetarian, Will Have Positive Health Results Because You're Mindful of What You Eat

The Paleo Diet

Ricky Gervais Says Trying to Work Off His Pizza and Beer Is Killing Him

I could relate to Ricky Gervais' eating problem (he and I are both 52) as he explained to Jon Stewart last night. Upon walking on the show, Gervais, wearing a black shirt, heard Stewart say, "You look like shit." Upon which Gervais said he's a fat man at heart and his attempts at running off his nightly binges of pizza and beer are killing him. "My shoulders and knees are shot," he said. "I wake up on the morning and say, 'Shit, I'm not dead yet. I have to workout.'"

Going off starch and sugar sounds good but it's easier said than done.

Related articles

Ricky Gervais Asks Fallon What His Penis Nickname Is

Ricky Gervais talks dream death: "Just sitting in a bucket watching TV"

Ricky Gervais Tells Jon Stewart Exactly How He Does and Doesn't Want to Die

The Grade Inflation Trap in College Composition: Conferencing

I Need to Man Up to the Fact That I'm Not a Comedian; I'm a Clown

Ricky Gervais And Jimmy Fallon Play 'Word Sneak,' Totally Lose It (VIDEO)

Ricky Gervais on 'Derek': 'I Think This is the Most Sincere Thing I've Done'

Gervais: Getting fit is a killer

Scientific Bombshell in My College Research Paper Class: The "Paleo Diet" Doesn't Exist

 

 

 

My English 1A students are writing an argumentative essay that defends or refutes the Paleo Diet, but it turns out that the Paleo Diet, as it is marketed today, does not exist, has no archeological basis, and is in fact a gross fraud. So now the whole idea of the argumentative paper, pitting two powerful opposing sides against each other, is gone from my students' assignment. The "Paleo Diet" at a serious disadvantage. We've got a one-sided argument on our hands. Looks like the last time I use this assignment. 

Related articles

To paleo or not to paleo... that is the question!

No-Fuss Products For paleo diet Explained

Any Diet, Meat-Eating Or Vegetarian, Will Have Positive Health Results Because You're Mindful of What You Eat

Getting Started With the Paleo Diet

The Paleo Diet

'Caveman diet' making a comeback

Looking for Some Vegetarian Dishes That My Twins Will Like

Not because I want my 3-year-olds to be vegetarians but because they don't seem to like meat, especially my daughter Natalie, who appears freaked out by its texture. 

So I need some vegetarian staples that I can make and that I would like. These sound promising:

Lentil-pesto patties.

Lentils with arugula pesto

Lentil Veggie Pesto Bake

Lentil Lemon Pesto "Meat Balls"

Bulgar Lentil Walnut Salad

Sweet potato lentil cakes with pumpkin pesto

Green Powerhouse Pesto Plate

Curried sweet potato lentil soup

Quinoa with toasted pine nuts

Quinoa with cherries and pistachios

Quinoa salad with blueberries, apples, walnuts, and yogurt

Quinoa roasted pepper chili

Fitness Magazine's 13 Easy Quinoa Recipes

Quinoa Recipes from Whole Living

 

Related articles

Easy Lentil & Quinoa Side Dish (Customize With Your Favorite Flavors!)

Meal in A Mug: Spicy Coconut Lentil Soup

Rhubarb and Lentil Curry

Any Diet, Meat-Eating Or Vegetarian, Will Have Positive Health Results Because You're Mindful of What You Eat

Lentil and Quinoa Salad

87 Cheap and Healthy Lunch and Dinner Recipes

Moroccan delights

Lentil, sweet potato and carrot soup

Roasted Garlic Pesto

Fattest Guy in the Teacher's Lounge Always Knew Most About How to Lose Weight

Bill Bush writes:

Fattest guy in the teachers' lounge always knew most about how to lose weight. He was full of advice and avoirdupois. And gained in both each year.

Related articles

Myths of Dieting Make Me Discouraged. Any Suggestions?

Why Did You Buy Wasabi Almonds?

Why Did You Buy Wasabi Almonds?

Because my unconsious has its own agenda, that's why. Two weeks ago, I decided to quit eating cold cereal, a morning habit of 50 years. Then out of nowhere at Trader Joe's I bought, for the first time ever, two giant bags of almonds, one wasabi, the best and most addictive, and the other barbecue smoked, very good.

No longer eating cereal, but compensating with handfuls of spicy almonds, I'm actually eating MORE calories a day.

Losing weight is difficult in part because the unconscious has its own agenda. 

I think after these bags are empty, I'll take a hiatus from piquant-flavored almonds. 

Related articles

Can We Play in the Consumer Sandbox Without Getting Lost in It?

Going Off Cereal: An Experiment Similar to One in Portlandia

People Are So Determined to Make Me Fat, They're Actually Sending Me Desserts Via Federal Express

 

Knowing I'm a curmudgeon disinclined to gorge on eggnog and pastries at holiday parties, insidious souls are sending me calorie-laden desserts via Federal Express.

These rushed shipments signal an urgency in their desire to make me fat. In fact, bold lettering on the package reads: "URGENT! GET FAT NOW!"

Related articles

Food Exposes the Soul: A Food-Centered Autobiography

Is Willpower a Muscle You Can Strengthen?

Food Exposes the Soul: A Food-Centered Autobiography

 

1964, Age 3: Nursery School in Gainesville, Florida: Discovered an intense hatred for the smell and taste of lima beans and the smell of them cooking in the school cafeteria’s pressure cookers made me so nauseous I had to lie down on a towel for 2 hours while decompressing.

1964, Age 3 : Projects of Gainesville, Florida: Clobbered cockroaches scurrying on my high-chair tray and put them in my mouth because I thought they were chocolate bars.

1964, Age 4: Nursery School, Gainesville, Florida: I was offended when a classmate offered me a piece of Dentyne chewing gum because the piece of gum was so small. However, I liked the cinnamon taste.

1966, Age 6, Royal Lanai Apartments, San Jose, California: Discovered an intense hatred for peas and steamed Brussels sprouts.

1969, Age 8, A Greek deli in San Jose, California: My father using his typical hyperbole (which I would later use) told me the baklava was the “best dessert in the world.” I ate a piece and believed him.

1973, Age 12, Nairobi, Kenya, a Peace Corps get-together: At the buffet table, I stumbled across a tin of smoked oysters and believed it to be the best tasting anything I had ever eaten.

1973, Age 12, Indian restaurant in Nairobi, Kenya: Discovered that I could eat Indian food every day for the rest of my life if given the chance.

1974, Age 13, a suburb called Castro Valley near Oakland, California: Developed the habit of eating an oversized bowl of cereal every night before bedtime, a habit I did not break until the age of 46 in 2007.

1975, Age 14, Castro Valley, California: would sometimes eat a whole box of graham crackers with peanut butter and jelly and a half gallon of milk or a whole loaf of toasted bread with butter and honey, also followed by a half gallon of milk and remained lean and muscular and did not die of a spike in my hypoglycemic index.

1977, Age 16, Castro Valley, California: “Bulking up” for bodybuilding would eat six-egg omelets with cheese every day and did not die of a heart attack. Cholesterol today is slightly above normal and is regulated with statins.

1980, Age 19, Castro Valley, California: At the Co-op supermarket, I discovered carob-honey ice cream and would eat whole containers. Since carob “died” in America, this ice cream is too difficult to track down.

1986, Age 25, Berkeley, California: Discovered Thai food and realized I could eat it every day for the rest of my life.

1989, Age 28, Oakland, California: Replaced salsa for ketchup as my table condiment and later learned on Seinfeld that America had made the same switch.

1989, Age 28, Oakland, California: Discovered how to prepare pesto and realized I could eat this rich substance once or twice a week for the rest of my life.

1992, Age 31, Bakersfield, California: Discovered while alone in the desert in which I medicated my loneliness with food that eating nonfat cake, ice cream, yogurt, and other snacks could make me fat.

2000, Age 39, Redondo Beach, California: My girlfriend Carrie, now wife, was concerned about me drinking diet sodas for the caffeine because of all the chemicals and she suggested I start drinking coffee. So at the age of 39, I started grinding my own beans and using a French press and to this day I drink coffee obsessively.

2007, Age 46, Torrance, California: I discovered that chocolate cake and brownies deliver chocolate into the neurons of my brain’s pleasure centers with more saturating intensity than chocolate bars, even expensive chocolate bars.

2009, Age 48, Torrance, California: I discovered that I will only eat pizza once in a while if two conditions are met: The pizza is of premium quality (preferably slathered with pesto) and that it be paired with an icy cold pint of hand-crafted porter.

2012, Age 51, Torrance, California: I discovered that a modified caveman diet is the best for keeping my weight down so I can wear 34-waist pants but that I’m always one or two binges away from having to put on my “fat man slacks.”

 

Cinnabon Outdoes Itself with the Pizzabon

The last, and only, time I ate a Cinnabon at the mall I was overcome with religious shame. But now this evil sweet mass can morph like some superhero villian into its equivalent of pizza, the Pizzabon. Why did Cinnabon make this new item? The answer is obvious: Because it's so hard to reach our daily calorie quota. 

Get Ready for Grasshopper Pop Tarts: In 40 Years be Prepared to Eat Bugs Or Don't Eat at All

The bad news, as discussed on Pat Morrison today, is that in 40 years we'll have to eat bugs or starve. The good news is the process by which insects can be put into pastes to spare us rough texture of scratchy limbs.

So perhaps this insect paste will be integrated into our high-protein grasshopper Pop Tarts.

In any event, I am not new to eating insects. As a lifelong lover of honey, I have been consuming insect excrement for several decades.