Herculodge

Dat Patrick Show: Not Even Good Enough to Ref the Lingerie League, Let Alone the NFL

 

 

This morning Dan Patrick said on 570 radio that the Lingerie League commissioner revealed last night that he fired one of the NFL replacement refs working on the field because he wasn't competent enough to ref lingerie games. Not even good enough for the Lingerie League but working on Monday Night Football? Pathetic. 

Once Again Dan Patrick Scorns the Mothership: They Only Care About Two NBA Teams: Heat and Lakers

 

 

Dan Patrick's loathing for his former employer ESPN, the dreaded Mothership, is relentless. This morning on his radio show he said ESPN shows no interest in the Spurs-Thunder series, or any NBA team for that matter, with the exception of the Heat and the Lakers: The Mothership just wants to serve up pre-made orders, is the implication. They have no imagination or insight to follow good stories in their beginning stages, but like a soulless blockbuster machine only seize already-made proven "hits." 

Time and time again, Dan Patrick appears intent on being a thorn in the Mothership's flabby flesh. 

I Can't Root for the Lakers Until They Get Rid of the Dude Who Double-Parks in the Handicap Section at Whole Foods

 

 

His name is Andrew Bynum, a giant with great talent that dwarfs his moral character. I never liked his face, which screams narcissism and entitlement. Now he has officially crossed the line by double-parking in the handicap section at Whole Foods. 

I cannot support my Lakers until he is gone. As long as he plays on the team, I wish them nothing but loss and humiliation. And I'm not even a moralist. 

Life Lessons from Andrew Bynum and Josh Beckett

Critics of my lifelong passion for professional sports, and this includes my wife, point out that professional athletes are a huge turnoff: adulated for their physical prowess and making us lose sight of life's bigger questions while these very athletes too often act like sullen, boring, churlish divas unworthy of our time.

Really? Think of the wisdom we learn from Andrew Bynum and Josh Beckett. Bynum, who rarely shows up mentally on the basketball court, teaches us that the surly narcissistic sloth never changes and we shouldn't wait around for him to mature or else we'll be like Linus waiting for the Great Pumpkin that never materializes. There will never be a mature Bynum. As that great sage, Flip Wilson, used to say, "What you see is what you get."

And then there's Josh Beckett who has been recently criticized for not focusing on his pitching and his unusually high ERA while indulging in golf and his defensive response to media criticism about his lack of committment. He is the epitome of defiance, selfishness, and the integrity of being true to your infantile self. 

Perhaps the greatest wisdom we learn from these two gifted athletes: They weren't people of high character who became corrupt after wealth and fame; rather wealth and fame were a sort of truth serum that brought out their true essence.

As these Life Lessons keep coming from the bowels of professional sports, that colossal billion-dollar industry will continue to flourish. 

 

Dan Patrick Says to ESPN's Colin Cowherd: "Don't Steal My Material. Don't be Lazy."

 

 

This morning Dan Patrick accused Colin Cowherd of stealing parts of his interview with Kurt Warner (regarding letting his children play football in the aftermath of Junior Seau's death, possibly caused by head trauma, which put him in depression). Warner said he would not want his sons to play football with the Bounty-Gate and other concussion issues.

At one point Patrick, getting lathered up, said about ESPN: "Today I'm taking on the Empire. And I like my chances."

Earlier Patrick said that when he worked at ESPN he worked with Cowherd and he helped the young man transition into the Mothership. Feeling betrayed, Patrick said this morning, "Show some ethics. Don't be lazy." Patrick also gave credit to other ESPN reporters for citing Patrick when they used the Warner quotes from their interview. Apparently, Cowherd interviewed Warner an hour after Patrick and Cowherd used Patrick's interview question. Patrick is not pleased. Calling your competitor lazy and unethical is no small deal. 

I'm wondering if Cowherd will apologize or address this issue. What a shame. I like both broadcasters. 

What's remarkable about this morning's scolding is that usually Patrick is sly and subtle about jibing the Mothership. This morning his gloves were off. 

 

Stephen A. Smith Announces That He Has Something Big to Say on His ESPN Radio Show for April 25th, 2012

Stephen A. Smith put out a teaser today on the radio: Tomorrow he has a big announcement. I hope he's not leaving ESPN . . . again. We'll see. 

ESPN's Mark Shapiro Told Dan Patrick He Was "Over the Hill"

 

Every now and then Dan Patrick will reveal little snippets that explain his lasting rancor for the Mothership. Last week, he said Mark Shapiro told Patrick he was "over the hill." 

Sounds like a hostile, toxic, insufferable work environment. I'm glad Patrick got a new radio show apart from the Mothership and landed on his feet. 

Dan Patrick Calls Tiger Woods a "Petulant Baby"

 

The Man Code in sports is this: Gird up thy loins like a man, perform to your maximum, and stop over-thinking, sinking into a mire of your neuroses. 

Tiger Woods used to do this, but as Dan Patrick said this morning he's now over-thinking his game and acting like a "petulant baby."

A certain stoicism is required as a champion athlete moves forward, overcoming adversity. To be called a baby after being the superman of gold is a tough pill to swallow, especially for a baby. 

Dan Patrick Says ESPN Wishes He Were Dead

 

 

Referred to with sarcastic rancor, the bitterness of a brutal divorce, Dan Patrick calls ESPN "the Mothership" and yesterday he said the Mothership wishes he were dead and the he would just go away. Why? In part, he said, because he represents creative freedom to the stable who currently work at ESPN. 

Patrick made these remarks after Bob Ley, I believe, was denied permission to go on Patrick's show to talk about Ley's infamous "bulging disc" report that was bleeped on the Mothership.

With satisfaction, Dan Patrick said he is torturing ESPN: "I know I'm in their head."

For Three Months After the Super Bowl It's Sports Talk Radio Hell

 

 

After the Super Bowl, sports talk radio is a barren wasteland. You'll get your March Madness and hear the word "bracket" used so often you'll want to puke. The regular hosts vacation a lot as they clearly don't want to be around during the sports radio drought. 

In May, you get the NBA playoffs and the first month of baseball, when things get a little more compelling and of course anticipation of the NFL season, which makes 90% of the sports talk radio draw. 

For me, I barely listen to sports talk between February and May, though I've taken a liking to Jim Rome as of late and will give his Showtime and CBS Sports shows a try.