I just finished watching the impressive documentary Won't You be My Neighbor?, about a kind man, Fred Rogers, determined to help children with their self-confidence and sense of self. Part of his method was for Fred Rogers to tell children they were special. He would look into the camera as if staring a child in the face and with great sincerity, he would say, "I think you're special." Some, including Fox News personalities, accuse this affirmation as being "evil" and claim that Rogers "ruined a generation" by encouraging narcissism.
Was a Christian minister such as Fred Rogers beholden to the Gospel of Narcissism? It depends on how we interpret "you're special."
If being called special means feeling unconditionally accepted even as we gorge on Hot Pockets while smoking a bong and binge watching Netflix in bed all day, then, indeed, we should not feel "special" in any sense as we remain mired in lethargy and crapulence.
But clearly, larding praise on people while denying them high standards was not Rogers' agenda. I look at thinking of ourselves as special in the way Rogers intended in the context of Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning. Frankl claimed that no one could hand meaning to another on a silver platter. Each individual's life had its own circumstances and demands that determined what the person's purpose would be. Finding life's meaning is about engaging with the world based on our special circumstances. This is what it means in part that "we are special." We all have a special meaning based on our relation with the world. Being special means more than that, but that's a good start.
I have no doubt in my mind that Fred Rogers meant the above and the following by calling us "special":
One, he wanted us to be loved unconditionally.
Two, he wanted us to engage with the world based on our individual circumstances.
Three, he wanted us to be engaged, disciplined, and respectful toward ourselves and others, qualities that are the antithesis of narcissism.
Four, Rogers was too smart to know that a child narcissist with no personal standards or self-respect would be miserable. Rogers wanted children to feel their specialness in a way that affirmed their confidence so that they would be encouraged to engage in the world in a meaningful way.
Clearly, political hacks who feel threatened by Fred Rogers' Christian liberalism are hostile toward Rogers, and these hacks use a Straw Man argument by twisting the meaning of the word "special" to denigrate Rogers.
While I watched Rogers as a child (mainly because I had a crush on Lady Aberlin), I was not a huge fan. I found the show's tone too cloying for my tastes, but I will defend Rogers, a sincere, wise, and helpful educator, against claims that he "ruined a generation."
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