1A Essay 3 (Essay Worth 200 Points): What Is Causing the Mass Erosion of Critical Thinking Skills?
Due as an upload on November 18.
The Assignment:
For a 1,200-word essay, develop an argumentative thesis that addresses the forces that cause a societal intellectual and emotional disintegration analyzed in Jonathan Haidt’s essay “Why the Past 10 Years of American Life Have Been Uniquely Stupid.”
For research, you must draw from Jaron Lanier’s Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now, the Netflix documentary The Social Dilemma, “You’re Being Manipulated” by Peter Wehner, and, optionally, various works by Tristan Harris.
Suggested Outline:
Paragraph 1: Using appropriate signal phrases, summarize and paraphrase the major points of Jonathan Haidt's essay "Why the Past 10 Years of American Life Have Been Uniquely Stupid."
Paragraph 2: Develop an argumentative thesis in which you support, refute, or complicate Haidt's claim.
Paragraphs 3-7: Your supporting paragraphs. At least one of your paragraphs should cite Jaron Lanier's book and another paragraph should address the Netflix documentary The Social Dilemma.
Paragraph 8: Your conclusion, a dramatic restatement of your thesis.
Your last page is the Works Cited page with no fewer than 4 sources in MLA format.
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Building Block Assignment #1 for Loss of Critical Thinking Essay
Due October 28 as an upload for 25 points
Assignment Description: First Two Paragraphs
For paragraph 1, use appropriate signal phrases to summarize and paraphrase the major points in Jonathan Haidt’s essay “Why the Past 10 Years of American Life Have Been Uniquely Stupid.”
For paragraph 2, develop an argumentative thesis that supports, refutes, or complicates Haidt's claim.
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Building Block Assignment #2 for Loss of Critical Thinking Essay
Due November 11 as an upload for 25 points
Write 2 body paragraphs.
One body paragraph should connect Jonathan Haidt’s essay “Why the Past 10 Years of American Life Have Been Uniquely Stupid" to a chapter from Jaron Lanier's book Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now.
Your second body paragraph should connect Jonathan Haidt's essay to one of the major points from the Netflix documentary The Social Dilemma.
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Are We Losing American Democracy? Jonathan Haidt, Part 1
“Why the Past Ten Years of American Life Have Been Uniquely Stupid”
Overview:
- We are living in a fragmented world where we disappear into rabbit holes of social-media curated reality silos. These silos or bubbles cater to our cognitive biases and pre-existing opinions. Living in a world that flatters our subjective reality makes us more stupid.
- Our societal fragmentation leads to chaos and distrust, which strengthens tribalism. Blind obedience to the tribe makes us more stupid.
- Living more and more on social media, we want popularity and attention reflected through likes, reposts, and subscribers. We don’t aspire to create legit content. Rather, we hunger for a dopamine hit of virality. The algorithms reward aggressive, extreme, and obnoxious behavior so that we can be popular with our subscribers and “friends.” In this regard, we no longer build real friendships but create parsocial (imaginary) friendships. This behavior makes us more stupid.
- The extremism of social media causes us to reject the epistemic reality of science, expertise and norms; instead, we live inside conspiracy anti-expertise bubbles and political purity bubbles; living inside these bubbles makes us more stupid.
- Social media floods the zone with BS. “Anything is possible; therefore, everything is equally BS.” This false moral equivalency makes us more stupid. This is also called whataboutism. “You still haven’t paid me back the five thousand dollars I lent you two years ago.” “What about the time you took a bite of my peanut butter sandwich?” Whataboutism makes us stupid.
- Social media learned that outrage sells and gets our attention and since outrage creates dopamine, social media has encouraged us to get drunk on the dopamine of outrage. As a result, we have become more stupid.
The Assignment:
For a 1,200-word essay, develop an argumentative thesis that addresses the forces that cause a societal intellectual and emotional disintegration analyzed in Jonathan Haidt’s essay “Why the Past 10 Years of American Life Have Been Uniquely Stupid.”
For research, you must draw from Jaron Lanier’s Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now, the Netflix documentary The Social Dilemma, “You’re Being Manipulated” by Peter Wehner, and, optionally, various works by Tristan Harris.
Suggested Outline:
Paragraph 1: Using appropriate signal phrases, summarize and paraphrase the major points of Jonathan Haidt's essay "Why the Past 10 Years of American Life Have Been Uniquely Stupid."
Paragraph 2: Develop an argumentative thesis in which you support, refute, or complicate Haidt's claim.
Paragraphs 3-7: Your supporting paragraphs. At least one of your paragraphs should cite Jaron Lanier's book and another paragraph should address the Netflix documentary The Social Dilemma.
Paragraph 8: Your conclusion, a dramatic restatement of your thesis.
Your last page is the Works Cited page with no fewer than 4 sources in MLA format.
If McMahon Were Writing the Essay: My Approach
Jonathan Haidt makes a lot of salient points in his essay “Why the Past Ten Years of American Life Have Been Uniquely Stupid.” He observes our fragmented experiences that have us in our own social media echo chambers, which reinforce our cognitive biases; our deep hatred and animosity for people who are not on “our team”; our loss of trust in institutions; our loss of shared narratives to bond us together as a whole; our replacement of real friendships with parasocial interactions; the “never-ending stream of content” that has fragmented our minds; our addiction to outrage, virtue signaling, and virality; the ubiquity of smartphone devices that are accelerants of addictive behavior; orthodox political tribalism that is more fervent than religious faith and is so virulent that many of us live to “own our political enemies”; the death of local news; the explosion of trolls in the age of extremist algorithms; the fever swamp of extremist conspiracy theories; weaponized misinformation in the service of autocrats; and a citizenry so confused they shrug their shoulders, say, “I don’t know what to believe anymore,” and surrender to nihilism and apathy.
While social media has surely been an accelerant to the above problems that pose a threat to American democracy, we would be unwise to overemphasize social media’s role. Like the Gutenberg Press in the fifteenth century, social media will be the cause of much chaos and upheaval, some good and some bad. We would be wise to see that America’s division and acrimony have been baked in long before social media from deep sources of a long-standing cultural war between the city and the country (red and blue states), a generation war between Z and the Boomers; a class war between the haves and the have-nots, and a swath of anti-social males who lacking education, economic ascent, reproductive opportunities, and hope, are drawn to populism and fascism as ways of taking revenge on their imaginary foes.
Thesis That Disagrees with the Above
While I agree with McMahon that America’s erosion of democracy and stupidification cannot entirely be laid at the hands of social media, the well-intentioned college instructor is in deep error to compare social media problems to the problems presented by the Gutenberg Press before it. Such a comparison shows that McMahon is blind to the unique crises and disasters that social media imposes on society. As Jaron Lanier, the Netflix documentary The Social Dilemma, and Jonathan Haidt rightly show, social media has profit-driven, built-in mechanisms and algorithms to make us stupid, addicted, narcissistic, tribalistic, and incapable of supporting a thriving democracy.
Thesis That Disagrees with Both McMahon and Writer X
Let us not toil needlessly to side with either McMahon or Writer X. Both are wrong. In fact, McMahon is partially correct when he observes that the virulent tribalism that is dividing America is a toxic cocktail of social and cultural divisions and the pathologies of social media. Moreover, Writer X is also correct to argue that social media presents unique dangers that cannot be compared to the Gutenberg Press or other disruptive technologies that have come before it. In other words, if we are to restore America’s democracy, we will have to address the built-in disasters of social media and the systemic unrest from class and cultural divisions. In case McMahon and Writer X don’t know how to do this, it’s called walking and chewing gum at the same time.
Sentence Fragments
Sentence fragments are incomplete thoughts presented as dependent clauses or phrases.
A dependent clause or a phrase is never a complete sentence.
Types of dependent clauses:
Whenever I drive up windy mountains,
Because I have craved pizza for 14 months,
Unless you add coffee to your chocolate cake recipe,
,which is currently enjoying a resurgence.
Phrases
Enamored by the music of Tupac Shakur,
Craving pesto linguine with olive-oil based clam sauce,
Flexing his muscles with a braggadocio never seen in modern times,
Lying under the bridge and eating garlic pepper pretzels with a dollop of cream cheese and a jug of chilled apple cider,
To understand the notion of Universal Basic Income and all of its related factors for social change in this disruptive age,
Running into crowded restaurants with garlic and whiskey fuming out of his sweaty pores while brandishing a golden scepter,
Examples
I won't entertain your requests for more money and gifts. Until you show at least a modicum of responsibility at school and with your friends.
I won't consider buying the new BMW sports coupe. Unless of course my uncle gives me that inheritance he keeps talking about whenever he gets a bit tipsy.
I can't imagine ever going to Chuck E. Cheese. Which makes me feel like I'm emotionally arrested.
I am considering the purchase of a new wardrobe. That is, if I'm picked for that job interview at Nordstrom.
Human morals have vanished. To the point at which it was decided that market values would triumph.
No subject
Marie Antoinette spent huge sums of money on herself and her favorites. And helped to bring on the French Revolution.
No complete verb
The aluminum boat sitting on its trailer.
Beginning with a subordinating word
We returned to the drugstore. Where we waited for our buddies.
A sentence fragment is part of a sentence that is written as if it were a complete sentence. Reading your draft out loud, backwards, sentence by sentence, will help you spot sentence fragments.
Sentence Fragment Exercises
After each sentence, write C for complete or F for fragment sentence. If the sentence is a fragment, correct it so that it is a complete sentence.
One. While hovering over the complexity of a formidable math problem and wondering if he had time to solve the problem before his girlfriend called him to complain about the horrible birthday present he bought her.
Two. In spite of the boyfriend’s growing discontent for his girlfriend, a churlish woman prone to tantrums and grand bouts of petulance.
Three. My BMW 5 series, a serious entry into the luxury car market.
Four. Overcome with nausea from eating ten bowls of angel hair pasta slathered in pine nut garlic pesto.
Five. Winding quickly but safely up the treacherous Palos Verdes hills in the shrouded mist of a lazy June morning, I realized that my BMW gave me feelings of completeness and fulfillment.
Six. To attempt to grasp the profound ignorance of those who deny the compelling truths of science in favor of their pseudo-intellectual ideas about “dangerous” vaccines and the “myths” of global warming.
Seven. The girlfriend whom I lavished with exotic gifts from afar.
Eight. When my cravings for pesto pizza, babaganoush, and triple chocolate cake overcome me during my bouts of acute anxiety.
Nine. Inclined to stop watching sports in the face of my girlfriend’s insistence that I pay more attention to her, I am throwing away my TV.
Ten. At the dance club where I espy my girlfriend flirting with a stranger by the soda machine festooned with party balloons and tinsel.
Eleven. The BMW speeding ahead of me and winding into the misty hills.
Twelve. Before you convert to the religion of veganism in order to impress your vegan girlfriend.
Thirteen. Summoning all my strength to resist the giant chocolate fudge cake sweating on the plate before me.
Identify the Fragments Below
Identify the Fragments Below
I drank the chalky Soylent meal-replacement drink. Expecting to feel full and satisfied. Only to find that I was still ravenously hungry afterward. Trying to sate my hunger pangs. I went to HomeTown Buffet. Where I ate several platters of braised oxtail and barbecued short ribs smothered in a honey vinegar sauce. Which reminded me of a sauce where I used to buy groceries from. When I was a kid.
Feeling bloated after my HomeTown Buffet indulgence. I exited the restaurant. After which I hailed an Uber and asked the driver for a night club recommendation. So I could dance off all my calories. The driver recommended a place, Anxiety Wires. I had never heard of it. Though, it was crowded inside. I felt eager to dance and confident about “my swag.” Although, I was still feeling bloated. Wondering if my intestines were on the verge of exploding.
Sweating under the nightclub’s outdoor canopy. I smelled the cloying gasses of a nearby vape. A serpentine woman was holding the vape. A gold contraption emitting rose-water vapors into my direction. Contemplating my gluttony. I was suddenly feeling low confidence. Though I pushed myself to introduce myself to the vape-smoking stranger with the serpentine features. Her eyes locked on mine.
I decided to play it cool. Instead of overwhelming her with a loud, brash manner. Which she might interpret as neediness on my part.
Keeping a portable fan in my cargo pocket for emergencies. When I feel like I’m overheating. I took the fan out of my pocket, turned it on, and directed it toward the serpentine stranger. Making it so the vapors were blowing back in her face.
“Doesn’t smell so good, does it?” I said. With a sarcastic grin.
She cackled, then said, “Thank you for blowing the vapors in my face. Now I can both enjoy inhaling them and breathing them in. For double the pleasure. You are quite a find. Come home with me and I’ll introduce you to my mother Gertrude and her pitbull Jackson. I’m sure they’ll welcome you into our home. Considering what a well-fed handsome man you are.”
“Thank you for the compliment,” I said. “I would love to meet your mother Gertrude and your mother’s pitbull Jackson. Only one problem. My breath smells like a rotting dead dragon. Right after eating spicy ribs. Which reminds me? Do you have any breath mints?”
“I don’t believe in carrying breath mints. On account of the rose-water vape. That cleanses my palate. Making my breath rosy fresh.”
“Wow. Your constant good breath counteracts my intractable bad breath. Making us a match in heaven.”
“I agree. Totally. You really need to meet my mother. Because she’ll bless us and make our marriage official. Since we really need her blessing. Agreed?”
“Agreed.”
“Now let me smell your breath. So I can identify the hot sauce.”
“Why must you do that?”
“So I can use the same hot sauce on our wedding cake, silly. To celebrate the first night we met. Capisce?”
“Capisce.”
She approached me. Affording me a view of her long, tired face. Covered in scales. Reptilian. Evocative of something primitive. Something precious and indelible from my childhood lost long ago. I wanted to run from her, but I could not. Some mysterious force drew me to her, and we inched closer and closer toward one another. Succumbing to a power neither of us could fathom.
Commas are designed to help writers avoid confusing sentences and to clarify the logic of their sentences.
If you cook Jeff will clean the dishes. (Will you cook Jeff?)
While we were eating a rattlesnake approached us. (Were we eating a rattlesnake?)
Comma Rule 1: Use a comma before a coordinating conjunction (FANBOYS) joining two independent clauses.
Rattlesnakes are high in protein, but I’d rather eat a peanut butter sandwich.
Rattlesnakes are dangerous, and the desert species are even more so.
We are a proud people, for our ancestors passed down these famous delicacies over a period of five thousand years.
The exception to rule 1 is when the two independent clauses are short:
The plane took off and we were on our way.
Comma Rule 2: Use a comma after an introductory clause or phrase.
When Jeff Henderson was in prison, he developed an appetite for reading.
In the nearby room, the TV is blaring full blast.
Tanning in the hot Hermosa Beach sun for over two hours, I realized I had better call it a day.
The exception is when the short adverb clause or phrase is short and doesn’t create the possibility of a misreading:
In no time we were at 2,800 feet.
Comma Rule 3: Use a comma between all items in a series.
Jeff Henderson found redemption through hard work, self-reinvention, and social altruism.
Finding his passion, mastering his craft, and giving back to the community were all part of Jeff Henderson’s self-reinvention.
Comma Rule 4: Use a comma between coordinate adjectives not joined with “and.” Do not use a comma between cumulative adjectives.
The adjectives below are called coordinate because they modify the noun separately:
Jeff Henderson is a passionate, articulate, wise speaker.
The adjectives above are coordinate because they can be joined with “and.” Jeff Henderson is passionate and articulate and wise.
Adjectives that do not modify the noun separately are cumulative.
Three large gray shapes moved slowly toward us.
Chocolate fudge peanut butter swirl coconut cake is divine.
Comma Rule 5: Use commas to set off nonrestrictive (nonessential) elements.
Restrictive or essential information doesn’t have a comma:
For school the students need notebooks that are college-ruled.
Jeff’s cat that just had kittens became very aggressive.
Nonrestrictive:
For school the students need college-ruled notebooks, which are on sale at the bookstore.
Jeff Henderson’s mansion, which is located in Las Vegas, has a state-of-the-art kitchen.
My youngest sister, who plays left wing on the soccer team, now lives at The Sands, a beach house near Los Angeles.
Jim Crow Lesson 4: Jim Crow 2.0, Racial Wealth Cap, Lost Cause, Great Replacement Theory
Avoiding Comma Splices and Run-Ons
Two complete sentences need to be joined with a period.
When we don’t use a period, we create a run-on sentence:
There are two run-ons in the following passage:
Jim Crow 1.0 transformed the post-Civil South into a hellscape however let us not think Jim Crow died it transformed into Jim Crow 2.0.
Another run-on:
She doubted the value of medication she decided to try it once.
A comma splice is different than a run-on. In this case, two sentences are incorrectly joined with a comma:
Klee's paintings seem simple, they are very sophisticated.
Love sneaks up on you, it shows up at your doorstep without warning.
I don’t drink diet soda for my caffeine intake, instead I drink coffee.
I was strongly attracted to her, she was beautiful and funny.
We hated the meatloaf, the cafeteria served it every Friday.
When You Can Use a Comma Between Two Complete Sentences: FANBOYS
You can use a comma with FANBOYS (for, and, but, or, yet, so), but you can't with conjunctive adverbs (however, instead, to the contrary, in contrast, etc.)
I love ice cream, but I rarely eat it.
I love ice cream. However, I rarely eat it.
I don't work out at the gym, but I do use kettlebells at home.
I don't work out at the gym. Instead, I exercise with kettlebells in my garage.
After each sentence put a “C” for Correct or a “CS” for Comma Splice. If the sentence is a comma splice, rewrite it so that it is correct.
One. Bailey used to eat ten pizzas a day, now he eats a spinach salad for lunch and dinner.
Two. Marco no longer runs on the treadmill, instead he opts for the less injury-causing elliptical trainer.
Three. Running can cause shin splints, which can cause excruciating pain.
Four. Running in the incorrect form can wreak havoc on the knees, slowing down can often correct the problem.
Five. While we live in a society where 1,500-calorie cheeseburgers are on the rise, the reading of books, sad to say, is on the decline.
Six. Facebook is a haven for narcissists, it encourages showing off with selfies and other mundane activities that are ways of showing how great and amazing our lives are, what a sham.
Seven. We live in a society where more and more Americans are consuming 1,500-calorie cheeseburgers, however, those same Americans are reading fewer and fewer books.
Eight. Love is a virus from outer space, it tends to become most contagious during April and May.
Nine. The tarantula causes horror in many people, moreover there is a species of tarantula in Brazil, the wandering banana spider, that is the most venomous spider in the world.
Ten. Even though spiders cause many people to recoil with horror, most species are harmless.
Eleven. The high repair costs of European luxury vehicles repelled Amanda from buying such a car, instead she opted for a Japanese-made Lexus.
Twelve. Amanda got a job at the Lexus dealership, now she’s trying to get me a job in the same office.
Thirteen. While consuming several cinnamon buns, a twelve-egg cheese omelet, ten slices of French toast slathered in maple syrup, and a tray of Swedish loganberry crepes topped with a dollop of blueberry jam, I contemplated the very grave possibility that I might be eating my way to a heart attack.
Fourteen. Even though I rank marijuana far less dangerous than most pharmaceutical drugs, alcohol, and other commonly used intoxicants, I find marijuana unappealing for a host of reasons, not the least of which is its potential for radically degrading brain cells, its enormous effect on stimulating the appetite, resulting in obesity, and its capacity for over-relaxing many people so that they lose significant motivation to achieve their primary goals, opting instead for a life of sloth and intractable indolence.
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