But I have none. Recently my twin toddlers were fighting over a balloon. As they ignored my repeated pleas for sharing, I got up from watching Pawn Stars, marched to the kitchen drawer, pulled out a steak knife, grabbed the balloon and stabbed it. With a big pop. I pronounced that "the fighting was over."
I solved the problem, just like my father used to . . . with absolutely no patience.
My wife wasn't happy about my recounting of the incident. She said, "You killed it. That's so violent. In front of the children. A knife. Oh my God."
There is the issue of the steak knife. What if it slipped from my hand or something? I realize now that the steak knife was too harsh, both in terms of symbol and substance. think next time, I'll stomp on the balloon with my foot. Or do a swan dive belly flop over it. Non-knife versions seem safer albeit no less violent.
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